“Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of everything that distracts us from it.” —Joshua Becker
Some people I speak with get nervous when they hear the term minimalist. For them, it conjures up images of destitution, barren walls, and empty cupboards.
Rightly so, they decide that is no way to enjoy life. Believe me, I agree—extreme minimalism is no way to enjoy life.
Maybe that is why I use the term rational minimalist and find it resonates so well. If you walked into my home today, you would not immediately deduce that a minimalist lives here.
When you look in our living room, you would see a television, couches, a family photo, and a rug. In our coat closet, you would find jackets, baseball caps, and a few winter weather accessories. In our kids’ rooms, you would find books, crafts, and toys in their closet. Since deciding to become minimalist years ago, we have been on a journey to define what that means for us and how it fits into our life.
We live in suburbia. We have two children. We are active in our community. We love to entertain, show hospitality, and host small groups from our church in our living room. I am a writer and my wife does bookkeeping. While not exceptional, our life is not identical to anybody else. It is our life—nobody else’s.
And if we were going to become minimalist, it would have to be a style of minimalism specific to us.
It would require us to ask questions, give-and-take, identify what we most value, and be humble enough to change course when necessary.
Your particular practice of minimalism is going to look different from everyone else. It must! After all, you live a different life than everyone else. You don’t have to dive into the deep end of extreme minimalism and live with just the clothes on your back.
You may have a large family, small family, or no family. You may live on a farm, in a house, or in a studio apartment.
You may collect antiques, stamps, or bottle caps. You may love music, movies, sports, or books. You may cherish old photographs, family heirlooms, or romantic letters from a lover.
Find a style of minimalism that works for you. One that is not cumbersome, but freeing based on your values, desires, passions, and rational thinking.
Be aware that your definition will not come overnight. It will take time. It will evolve—even change drastically as your life changes. It will require give and take. You will make a few mistakes along the way. And thus, it will also require humility.
But ultimately, you will begin to remove the unneeded things from your life. And when you do, you will find space to intentionally promote the things you most value and remove anything that distracts you from it.
Hi, this is such a great article. I love imagining empty spaces, what bliss.
I have been clearing out so much in the last few weeks. However our small flat looks such a mess as I’m struggling to get it all to the charity shop.
We had to sell our car and I have chronic back pain so I can just take one bag at a time in my rucksack. I’m trying to organise a friend with a car to help me.
I can’t wait to see it gone so that I can carry on decluttering.
I adore storage solutions but finally realised that I need to actually get rid of it!!! All good. Melanie U.K.
I have been inspired by Josh and these empowering articles. I have been clearing out loads of stuff. But I do find myself buying things because we are snowbirds and find it easier to own two of things that we use a lot and that make life easier as we are aging. It has to be carefully analyzed to fit what is important to us. Thanks for helping me balance it. One line from a while back has become a mantra for me: if I don’t buy this, what do I have that I can wear/use instead.
What is a snowbird? Just curious ????
Usually someone that lives where there is snow and they go south between November-April to avoid the cold weather
Hi, I am just getting started, so have a long way to go, but hopefully I will get to my goal soon.
This is interesting. I grew up in an extremely cluttered home as my guardian was a hoarder. Rooms were packed floor to ceiling with other people’s stuff. Despite this, I never hoarded and have always been super clean and organized. I later learned that hoarding can stem from mental illness, which makes sense for reasons I won’t share here.
Nowadays I am an extreme minimalist at heart because I realize the only things that matter to me are my relationships, passion for music, and learning. I no longer value even my most sentimental possessions and constantly reduce what few things I have to better enable the lifestyle I want. My end goal is to break away from consumerism/capitalism to live in a self-sufficient community of like-minded people.
Given how we evolved as a species, the materialistic lives we live are completely unnatural; no wonder there’s so much mental illness in the world today. Our possessions almost seem to poison our minds, yet people generally think more is better. How ironic.
Sounds like you are living your best life. Good luck going forward. I think in the long term future, self sufficiency will be needed.
I grew up in a cluttered house where my siblings and I were neglected because my parents had no room for us in between all of their stuff. Their cluttered, disorganized lifestyle left me having anxiety about owning things because I feel like my mother will snatch anything I want to donate away and keep it, or my father will tell me I’m ungrateful for not keeping clothes that don’t even fit on my body and aren’t my style. It’s not a realistic fear, I live alone and my parents are in another state. I don’t feel free of an item until it’s been handed off to the thrift shop, or the garbage truck actually takes it away. My mother has even gone through the trash looking for junk she thinks got thrown away! We lived with a weird disparity where we didn’t have what we needed despite being drowned in things, and it’s hard for me to get rid of the emotional pain from it, even as I declutter more and more of the things I resent but keep because they engrained it into me.
Lizza, the fact you use the word neglect suggests there might be some nurture-related trauma. I believe it is possible to reduce/stop your emotional response to decluttering with therapy and self discovery. Your parents’ attachment to their possessions was definitely unhealthy and could stem from mental illness or being raised in extreme poverty. Understanding ‘why’ is important and can help us to accept and forgive a behaviour that caused us harm. This, in turn, can help us move on from the trauma that holds us back from fully enjoying life.
I embarked on a massive DeClutter when my grand daughter came to stay and there was no space, in the guest room, for her to put her things for the stay.
I have a chronic illness that impacts my energy production but that ashamed the day she left I gutted the room and moved all my ‘stuff’. I donated, binned, and out on eBay most of it. The thing is now when I go in the room, even though I love the neatness and lack of clutter, but it also feels soulless.
What might this mean? What is it telling me about me?
I have a new rule and I am inky allowed to have my things in my room. But then I question what are the other rooms for?
This is where my husband comes in because I would happily live in a two bedroom bungalow (I need a spare room for family as we live far away from everyone). Yet, my husband insists on a massive five bedroom home. And so, if I don’t fill those rooms I feel as though I’m living in a soulless home.
Thoughts invited …
I am an irrational minimalist, my walls are bare and there’s not much furniture (Not none though, see how I save myself there? :P), and there’s really not much of anything about except peace and happiness! And crumbs, so little stress, by gosh!!! I am not good at owning things, the devil take the TV for I have no use for it!!
Susan, I feel for you regarding heirlooms. Please remember that your home is not your family’s private storage unit. And whoever bought the items wanted them to be appreciated, so maybe go out and find people who will apreciate them. People give artwork to museums so many, many people can appreciate them. It is called philanthropy. Anyway, that is my thought.
Thank you for your inspiring words.
My version of Minimalism is thoughtful,premeditated ,quality buying .
Being plus size,in hindsight i have realized my closets were cluttered because of anxious stocking up of plus size products chanced on.
I made a conscious effort to curb this.
Produce and groceries, mo bulk buying just thoughtful meal planning and buying.
Thank you.
Steven Wright said “I have the world’s largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world… perhaps you’ve seen it.”
Some said “Sometimes the best place for something is in someone ELSE’S home”
In my experience, extreme minimalists are really not worrying what is best for others. Worrying what is best for other people is something they decluttered along with their other stuff. I am, in comparison to everyone I know, an extreme minimalist. Being portable and have much less stuff is very important to my living a life that is more congruent with who I am. And it feels so much lighter and free-er. I am a hoarder of empty space and air and light and lightness.
Hello ! The French frog is there !
I really like this expression “rational minimalism”.
Just like you and your family, when we come home, it is not necessarily easy to see that a minimalist lives here.
It is not obvious, but yes! I am minimalist and I live here !
My husband and I don’t have the same vision.
I’m a minimalist, but not him.
We must therefore find an agreement.
Everyone has to find what suits them.
We have managed to find the balance and our journey continues.
The most important thing is to find what suits us.
The most important thing is to know why we do things.
I do it for reasons of priorities.
I prefer to spend my time with people and what I love rather than tidying up and cleaning.
Minimalism is in my opinion one of the rare areas that we can completely adapt to our case.
Thank you for your work.
Au revoir de France !
Dear Joshua,
I just recently discovered your website and it feels like a breath of fresh air! I have been appalled during this covid-19 crisis and time with my husband sheltering at home to see how many more TV ads there seem to be to buy, buy, buy — a new car, more furniture, clothing (hey, it’s summer – you don’t want to miss out! :o((() –maybe they were always there and now I am just more aware of them – but it just seems so wrong to be tempting/encouraging folks who may be out of work and not know if they will have a job again to take comfort in STUFF! Yuk! :o(((
One thing I started this year has helped me a lot already. On the theory that “Stuff expands to fill (all) available space” – I decided NO! I won’t let that happen anymore – so I have completely cleared out and emptied my two lowest kitchen cupboards and highest bathroom cabinet shelf – these are hard to access anyway, and as I grow older, this will make life easier. And even now, I like being able to look in there and see a small triumph over clutter – not saying any/every/one should do this, but it has really helped me to remind myself that not every place has to be full – an empty place here and there is good!
Thank you so much for a sensible approach to living that is not extreme – looking forward to learning more! Bless you —
Does the lifetime membership include the cost of the course for $69?
Yes, all participants in the Uncluttered Course have lifetime access.
Hi I am new here. I mean a new subscriber of Mr. J. Becker’s. I once heard minimalism from my sister and it intrigued me to research about it and here I am! I also viewed different videos from different advocates of minimalism and i definitely liked it including the idea and purpose of becoming a minimalist. In my case, I live with my parents who are both in their old age, together with us is my aunt who is also 57 years old. Well they are a challenge to me because they like to collect things, a lot. Perhaps they are very very sentimental that they can’t easily get away of many things, ending up to have clutters all around the house. We got a lot of boxes which I don’t know the content, we have 3 TVs and my father cant get away with the 2 old tv’s and he’s saying that they are still functional. But honestly, that 2 tv’s are merely a teleaudio not a television anymore. Uhh it sucks. My mother likes to have cabinets (closet) but when I opened it there are lots of dresses that I know she isn’t wearing anymore. I already told her to do some donation but uhm.. you guess right, it’s still there. My aunt, she loves to recycle bottles, sandwich spread containers, sponges, old clothes too, many sorts of olds. I am pissed with these things and sometimes honestly I am pissed of their actions, and to them. I hate myself of becoming irate to these loving people, but I would like them to get away of those unnecessary things but whatever I tell them, they don’t want my idea of de-cluttering things.
Well because I don’t have the energy at all to convince them, I tired to start with my personal things recently. I was able to remove old clothes and separate wearable and useful things from those that aren’t. I felt happy and contented with what I did. Actually I have also identified clothes that can be donated, so I did fold and packed them neatly, so I can give them away soon. Thereon, I am pretty surprised that even the closet can now breathe unlike before.
I am loving this way. After that closet of mine, I went on checking my office bag, luckily I am using just one bag so it didn’t consume my time cleaning up some mess inside. I went on arranging some of my available cosmetics, I only have enough of it and so choosing and deciding what to throw is quite easy. I felt happy with what I have done and I am deciding to continue having this minimalist perspective, one step at a time.
Thanks for inspiring us!
Who owns your house, my dear???
Hi Josh! Thank you for this article and especially this post. I am a stay-at-home mom and a part-time student in my final semester. My family and I have been gravitating towards minimalism over the last couple of years, but we are still overwhelmed with stuff.
This semester, I am taking a blogging class, and I have decided to write about minimalism. I am completely new to the community, and I am very excited to learn and share!
I quoted this particular post in my first post because it brought me such a peace of mind about finding what is best for my own family. My favorite part is that becoming minimalist should be freeing and not cumbersome. This has really helped me relax in this journey a little more!
Thanks!
@ClutterMama
I absolutely LOVE the idea of being a minimalist. Through the years we have been purging (mostly and effort led by me) and it feels GREAT! My husband is pretty much a take it or leave it type of person, so although he is not quick to get rid of stuff, he is not quick to buy a lot either. However, he will keep receipts, boxes things come in, etc. For me, I tend to get things I “think” I want, then end up getting rid of them. I made a decision within the last year to only buy things that I either REALLY want and will use, or absolutely need. So far, so good. We have lived in 2500-2200 sq ft, then down to 1400 sq ft, and now up to 1787 sq ft. I am ready to downsize again, as our townhome is three levels and most of the room and space does not get used. We are constantly evolving as a family, with only one child left in the home. I always end up a LOT happier when I have fewer possessions, so this REALLY resonates with me. I’ve pared down my wardrobe, my decor, excess cookware, etc. I decided to focus on the life I LIVE rather than the dream life that I have entertained subconsciously. I cook simple meals, so I do not need a lot of gadgets. Thanks for this blog!
2500 sq ft? That is HUGE!! In the Netherlands that is considered as being a millionaires palace. Most houses over here are just 80 to 120 sq meters (860 to 1300 sq ft), but many people live in appartments. In Amsterdam a typical appartment has a footprint (living space) of just 60 sq m (646 sq ft). Not to mention that some neighborhoods were built around 1895, and that you can have a conversation with next door – without leaving your own house. I lived for 12 years in a appartment that was just 28 sq m (300 sq ft), but then I was a bachelor…. Reading this, one could wonder if the Dutch are native born minimalists; but it is just the opposite. Most Dutch people are just like Americans, the same amount of stuff only less sq ft to store it… I try to downsize my own stuff and this blog helped me a lot. But I guess I am addicted to books :-)
I often feel guilty as a single person who lives alone, because I feel like I need my own set of everything – kitchen basics, furniture, etc. But for me living alone is extremely important. The downside is I tend to avoid hosting people because I have no serving wares, no large table, only like 3 plates/utensils, 2 chairs, etc.
I am thankful for these honest posts. My heart’s desire is more space, less things, and more time to focus on what really matters to us. Relationships. And my struggle with the idea of what minimalism looks like to us has been the idea of downsizing. We enjoy hosting friends and gatherings in our home and want to have a welcome and inviting space while at the same time not having things just for the sake of filling space. I’m glad to know you have been so successful in your pursuit of this while at the same time staying connected in your community.
I too am addicted to books Maarten, I love books! However, I’ve been downsizing in that area too. I have two electronic readers so I decided to purchase only electronic books unless a hard copy is the only way it’s available. The library is also an excellent source for me so that I don’t acquire more!
Let the kids play with their lego.
We are SO onboard with becoming minimalist. We have 13 children – 11 at home, 9 of them teenagers, 7 in high school (and a 5 year old!). My biggest struggle has been what does minimalism look like to a family so large. For the past couple months, we’ve been purging, donating, selling, trashing. With work schedules, kids, LIFE it’s taking SO much longer to complete the process than I had ever imagined. My solution to clutter and “stuff” was to purchase more rubbermaid bins….. Some things need to be replaced, yes we still need couches large enough for all of us, no we only have 4 bedrooms (and that’s one area I’d have more). We’ve been systematically attacking rooms of the house and the garage. I don’t know where everything came from, but the intention is to stop the insidious take over. A couple weeks ago, I hit the point where I wish a dumpster could be delivered and I could just tip the house upside down and start over. But, breathe and know that it is getting done. The rooms that are completed feel so good – getting rid of 80% of the shoes and clothing I owned was liberating. Beginning to see what’s important – clearly not our “stuff” – is getting the kids more involved. It’s been a wonderful, emotional, crazy, frustrating, slow process. I know there will always be upkeep, however I’ll be so relieved when the mass exodus has ended and we can live in our space with more ease. I appreciate any tips on how things can be altered for such a large family. Advice and reading other’s journeys is part of what helps continue to motivate me. Thank you!
Thanks for your post Jennifer. We are a family with 11 kids, 8 of whom are still at home. Your description of the difficulty of purging fits our situation perfectly. We began the process in the pantry of our kitchen, and once the entire kitchen was purged, the space (both physically, emotionally, and mentally) was relaxing and invigorating. We’ve got a long way to go, and seeing our boys’ legos strewn all over the floor is depressing at times. Any tips you some across to declutter as a large family would be most welcome. Good luck to you and your family.
I find your thoughts on rational minimalism very realistic and encouraging. have been on journey for 7 years and although I sometimes feel like a failure i know we constantly combat worldly views and movements. when people walk into our house they say it feels calm so i need to focus on the victories instead of the battles still ahead. Thank you.
I love the way you have made minimalism seem both accessible and entirely achievable! It’s always a mistake when people make it out to be a really extreme way of living because people lose interest — unlike this post which has left me feeling the most inspired I’ve been for weeks! Thank you!
http://www.lifeinthesunlight.com/
I divorced at 40 and raised my three daughters by myself ….after the divorce and after I lost everything I realized we didn’t need much to survive… A roof over our head a modest vehicle and food to eat and I furnished our home for $100 and we lived happily. Then I met my new husband who isn’t on the same path as I and I am overwhelmed , my question is how do I change him to be more like me he is getting worse everyday and I am not happy , he does not see that he has a problem any suggestions because I really love him and I do not want to leave but it is affecting my health
Well – same as with any other problems in a marriage… talk to him about it. Pick a quiet time, explain completely and clearly what it does to you to live like you do now (I guess you mean that he’s got too much stuff, you don’t say in your post). Just try to give him a clear picture of your state of mind about it.
My husband is also not in the decluttering boat, and he puts up one or two stop signs every now and then – but when he sees that something is really bothering/affecting me (and even endangering my health), he’d do everything in his power to accomodate me as much as possible.
This is such a relief for me to read this post as I felt like every spare minute I had I was on a rampage to clear out a drawer or cupboard like I was on a time clock. And yes…I was encourage to read how ‘everyone of our lives will look different’ making our surrounding more minimalist!! I am a detailed person and find this very hard as I Love to change seasonal items but have now learned to pair it down to what I really Love and not store additional items… this is an improvement. I actual drawers and closets are looking better and I spend a lot less time looking for things!! I felt very calm reading this post as it gave me permission to ‘do it my way’ and what works for me in my Home and not someone elses… Thanks Joshua for clarifying that… I think I have been searching for that peace for awhile!! :)
To me minimalism is a life style change. Changes take time and this type of life style change is no different. For change to become habit it is something I need to adapt to over time both in thought and carry through. Once I am mentally prepared it is easier to take baby steps to achieving a level of satisfaction I feel comfortable with maintaining.
This is a great article. My husband and I (both retired) have been on this journey for more than 10 years. I don’t think anyone would walk into our home (under 1000 sq. ft.) and think that it looks bare or Spartan. It is attractive and comfortable. We have what we need. That includes photos of our grandchildren, a few mementos of travel, a reasonable number of books, everything we need to prepare and eat meals, hobby materials, clothing, wall decor, etc. We do not have thousands of books – internet and a great library system. We don’t have lots of kitchen gadgets. We do not have an excess of clothing. Our possessions don’t weigh us down. It feels good to us, and I think that is what matters. Living this way has enabled us to travel extensively during our retirement.
I have come across your blog (and this entry in particular) after many months of attempting to justify why I was slowly culling all the material posessions that were building up in my home and surrounding me in my life in general. In a time of my life where everyone around me seems to be filling their lives with material ‘stuff’, I am travelling down a different path and it feels so refreshing. I am glad I’m not alone in my adventure. Thank you.