Almost everything worth accomplishing in life is difficult.
Think about it: a successful marriage, intentional parenting, a growing career… they all require effort and discipline to overcome obstacles.
Even smaller goals: staying physically healthy, living on a budget, or crafting a focused life are not easy in the world we live in. These lifestyle goals, which are certainly worth accomplishing, can be difficult and require purposeful living.
Most of the things worth accomplishing in life are difficult—at least, to some extent.
Because of this fact, it seems to me, there will always be stumbling blocks that stand in the way of us accomplishing meaningful pursuits.
A number of years ago I attended a conference that featured the world-renowned, critically-acclaimed, and prolific writer, Anne Lamott. During one particular Q&A session, Anne was bombarded with questions from aspiring writers struggling to overcome obstacles.
One such attendee (I remember vividly to this day) asked the accomplished writer this question, “How do I find time to become the writer I want to be? I am a new mother, tired and ragged, and I just can’t find the energy to write during this phase of my life. Should I wait until it passes?”
Anne’s response was swift, pointed, and memorable.
She replied, “Listen, there is always going to be an available excuse as to why you can’t do your writing. You are newly-married, or you have a young child. Next, you will have more than one child, or you will be parenting teenagers, or beginning a new career, or traveling too often, or involved in this or that. There will always be a reason why you think you can’t do what you need to do. The pursuit is to overcome these obstacles in order to realize what you are called to accomplish.”
I’ve never forgotten Anne’s words of wisdom that day. Anything worth accomplishing in life is going to be difficult. And there are always going to be reasons why you can’t accomplish it.
That’s why, it is vitally important to discipline ourselves to focus our thoughts on the reasons we can, rather than the reasons we can’t.
There’s not a doubt in my mind there are countless reasons you can’t accomplish what you most want to do:
You can’t get into physical shape because you don’t have the time, your body hurts too much, or it will take too long.
You can’t live within your means because you don’t make enough money, you’re supporting too many, or life has not been fair to you.
You can’t be a faithful, loving spouse because your partner has made it too difficult, you never had a proper model growing up, or you’re just too tired at the end of the day.
You can’t accomplish your greatest career goals because you’re not smart enough, you started too late, or other people are conspiring against you.
You can’t declutter your home and get your physical possessions in order because of this spouse, or those kids, or that family you grew up in, or your love for figurines means you can never overcome consumerism in your life.
As I said before, there’s not a doubt in my mind there are reasons why you can’t do any of the difficult things you want to do. And if you continue to focus on those obstacles, you never will.
However, I also know there are countless reasons why you can do exactly what you want to do.
And those who focus on the reasons they can are the ones who reach the mountaintop.
Yes, you can get in better physical shape. If you can still move your body, you can begin making strides in that direction. Sure, it may hurt at first. But others have turned their life around, and so can you.
Yes, you can live within your financial means. It’s going to take sacrifice and effort and discipline. But others have done it, so can you.
Yes, you can be a loving and faithful spouse. It’s going to require humility, a decision to love someone despite their flaws and imperfections, and maybe some outside advice and help. But others have done it, so can you.
You can accomplish your career goals. It’s going to require initiative, hard work, perseverance, and pushing through your personal boundaries every single day. But others have done it, so can you.
And yes, you can declutter your home and minimize your possessions. It’s going to require finding time to get started, internal reflection, and finding the ability to make hard decisions. But others have done it, and so can you.
Your most important work is rarely the easiest work. In fact, just the opposite is more true. Your most meaningful and significant work will be the hardest for you to accomplish.
Those who focus on the reasons they can’t will forever remain paralyzed by their pessimism.
But those who focus on the reasons they can, find hope and energy and perseverance. And in the end, they are most satisfied with the life they have chosen to live.
What significant goal are you pursuing in your life? Write it down somewhere. Now, just below that pursuit, write down all the reasons you know it’s possible to achieve. Think of the factors within you and the factors outside of you.
And then, for your sake and ours, focus on all the reasons you can achieve your most meaningful goals.
Because we all desperately need you to live your best life.
About Joshua Becker
Really a nice article thanks Joshua! I Feel encouraged and uplifting the low emotions! Thank you!
Surely the question What I want is not simple and requires a non-superficial answer. But it is important to stop for a moment and look for a concrete, sincere answer. Identifying your goals is the best way to get to work on what you want.
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“it is vitally important to discipline ourselves to focus our thoughts on the reasons we can, rather than the reasons we can’t.”
Exactly, exactly, exactly right! So often we focus on what can’t be done, and the power of that emotion takes over and deletes the choice we have.
We still have choice. We always have choice, and we can reclaim that choice in Jesus name, to have victory over excess. Thank you.
Thank you Joshua, great article. Makes a lot of sense and is very motivating.
To write my book is one declaration I have made last year which I had a good start with. I went to a writer’s retreat and I was on fire. Then what happened are all worthy excuses which has disrupted my writing in the ladt 5 months. This article has flickered a spark telling me that what I have to do is to Show Up daily to get some writing done.
Thank you Joshua. You’ll be glad to know that the subject of decluttering, has been in my radar and I’m getting to have less and more purposeful things around me as I am working on same in purging my thoughts and mental chatter.
So much in life is personal responsibility to the things that matter most to each of us. Great post! -Laurel
Loved this post! Thanks, Joshua.
This is such a great inspiration to read! Decluttering my home was not something my family wanted to take on. It took me deciding to start with me. I started with my stuff, my closet, my belongings. (By the way, thank you for your inspiration from your book!) It was my example, my hard decisions, and my overcoming resistance to change that helped my family move towards a simpler way of living.
Now I am on a new adventure starting a blog from scratch, and it is hard. There have been days I have wanted to quit, but on the journey to live a simpler I was able to quit corporate America, move to the mountains and enjoy my kids so much more. Thank you for the encouraging words to overcome excuses and keep all momentum moving forward as I continue to grow.
Well, finally we get a cop-out.
Not long ago I asked the question “how do you deal with a partner who cannot understand the point of minimalism?” (Well maybe not exactly those words.)
Imagine you have a partner or a family member who cannot stop buying clothes, or puts stuff down wherever he/she is when she stops using it. Imagine a partner who truly believes that the more clothes they wear, the better their image will be amongst their social contacts.
These people are addicts. They cannot stop. They buy and buy and buy, They see an advert for face-cream, and next day there’s a jar of it in the bathroom cabinet. They see a friend wearing a new style, and the next day they have bought it.
To say “yes, you can declutter your home and minimize your possessions. It’s going to require finding time to get started, internal reflection, and finding the ability to make hard decisions. But others have done it, and so can you” is utterly patronising and careless! NO! you cannot control an addiction in another person when you also have a job and a social life. They spend 8 hours a day making your house UNminimalist, and you just don’t have time to counter their consumerism.
I ask the question again: How do you persuade a consumer addict to change their ways?
So far, the answer would seem to be “dump them”.
Consider “Who’s Pushing Your Buttons?” by Dr. John Townsend. I’m finding it helpful.
You may not in this case have a minimalist house, IMO. You can however focus on what is within your control. So your possessions can be minimalist. It may or may not prove an inspiration to your family member.
Remember the serenity prayer (which works whether or not you believe in a god):
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
I feel sad for anyone who doesn’t.
Thanks! A very good and encouraging word!
Very inspiring! Just what I needed to hear this AM! I am in the process of obtaining certification for my job and needed this motivation! Thank you.
I love your voice.
Everytime I read something you have written I am grateful.
Thank you!
Thank you for this post. It struck to the heart of the matter. Anything worth having is worth the work. Do it. Regardless of what obstacles, or sped bumps, keep moving forward.
“Because we all desperately need you to live your best life.” This is a “theme” I keep coming across lately. Thank you for letting God use you to affirm it to me… again. :o)
One of my favorite articles yet. Very motivational, very true. Thank you
What a wonderful post. I will be keeping this one and re-reading it many times I am sure. Such honesty and inspiring words. Thank you!
Great post with motivation that I needed in multiple areas of my life right now also! Thanks! Great comments too! Like one person who commented, I also feel that I am working on goals and habits in multiple areas of my life right now, which isn’t the preferred way to learn new habits (according to some experts). But Kat Lee at the Hello Mornings Podcast has helped me think about what is the simplest form of that habit (such as drinking a glass of water forst thing when you wake up for your health habit or doing one yoga pose). We can grow the habit but also retain the space it has in our lives when it’s hectic or stressful. I am also a perfectionist who needs to think more positively rather than all the reasons I may not succeed at something. I am going to make my list right now and pray the Serenity Prayer: “God help me change the things I can, accept the things I can’t change and have the wisdom to know the difference, taking one day at a time….”
Beautifully said. Of course, I had a terrible time moving past the intense envy I felt when I found out that you were at a conference with Anne Lamont. I return to Traveling Mercies periodically and it never fails – it is magic for my soul. Once I read the post-Lamont section a second time, the wisdom of your words came shining through.
It’s LAMOTT. 😉
Thanks Joshua, Just what I needed to hear. Thanks for this super inspiring post, it’s deeply touched my heart.
Probably one of the best article I’ve read so far this year.
TONS of Truth, Insight & Motivation!
Now to put in the hard work of application…
Great Job Sir!!
Oh so on point in my life right now. Thank you! And please keep writing!
Wonderful article, timely and needed in my life! Thanks ! Keep writing Joshua!
Great article. Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with other family members things. My daughter and her 2 youmh children recently moved back home.Her things are everywhere. I’ve talked to her many times. She says she doesn’t have time (had a 2 year old and a 4 month old). Suggestions please?
Just off the cuff, it sounds like you might want to set some boundaries. She is living in your house. Maybe tell her that her stuff needs to stay in designated areas (her room, maybe have a kitchen cupboard for her, etc.) Maybe offer to baby-sit while she organizes her stuff. Or hire a baby-sitter while you both work on it together.
Yes! I love this!
Thank you for your wonderful writing, every post seems to be just what I need to hear. Blessings to you and your family!
This is what I needed to hear, but also brought up a question. What if we have several goals we want to accomplish? Should we work on one at a time? Is it better to be focused, or make baby steps toward several goals at once?
Hi Nancy, I have several goals for my personal and professional life and make time to accomplish a part of each each day, even if it means going for a walk for 10 mins instead of the expected 60. That keeps me motivated. As time passes, the priorities change and sometimes the goals change too, so working on them everyday fills me up with a sense of accomplishment and self worth.
I think it depends on you and depends on the goals. If I am paralyzed, I will focus on baby steps. But sometimes, I am more motivated by a major overhaul. And sometimes I start out with a major overhaul, and have to scale back to baby steps in order to keep moving forward. I don’t think there is a “wrong” way to do it.
I think it is a huge issue in our culture, that people think that “difficult” is synomous with “impossible.” I overcame severe emotional issues through lifestyle choices and cognitive strategies (not medication), over the course of several years. It was difficult, but I did it. I left a “secure” job to move my family across the country to live on a boat, and then I recently left my “secure” job down here, because it was making me miserable. Facing the unknown is difficult, but it was infinitely worth it. I practice yoga daily, even though I have significant physical challenges that make it difficult. And I also have a respectable 5K time, in spite of issues with my legs. My most recent blog post was about overcoming emotional eating and working toward getting healthy, even though it was difficult. I am not trying to brag. I am nothing special. We can all do the things that are hard to do. We just need to see that we are worth it.
nice! thank you for the motivation
— “those who focus on the reasons they can, find hope and energy and perseverance. And in the end, they are most satisfied with the life they have chosen to live.”
Yes— every new day we are given the chance to make good choices.
Thanks! Perfect article for me right now!
This was a REALLY good article. Haven’t read many good ones lately.
Makes you stop and think.
Sometimes, receiving a straightforward message of the type a parent or teacher delivers is the best kind of motivation. A mandate to demonstrate character doesn’t beat around the bush.
Best thing I’ve read in a while. Thank
This hit the spot this morning. Thanks for the motivating n. I was thinking about this in terms of work. I realize that a job will never be perfect (much like a marriage) and that there has to be give and take and patience. Eventually if you stick with it you can find a balance that works.
It depends on the job. Sometimes leaving a seemingly secure job to pursue the life we want is something that is difficult but worthwhile.
Great words! As they say, “The person who really wants to do something finds a way; others finds an excuse.”
This is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. I agree totally, sine I have been focusing on my present goal with this attitude, I am on fire. It is not easy being optimistic after a life of finding excuses, however, big goals are difficult by nature. I now know I can and I thunder through the barriers!
This was just what I needed to hear today. Thank you.
This was lovely and very motivating. Thank you.
Fabulous article!
Yes, just what I needed to hear – when I needed to hear it …for so many reasons… Thsnk you!