“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.” —Kahlil Gibran
It is better to give than receive.
We hear it all the time—especially this time of year. But sometimes I wonder if we really believe it.
We say the phrase as if the generalization is a forgone conclusion. We print it on bumper stickers and billboards. We teach it to our children. And we mutter it under our breath when circumstances don’t go as expected.
But in reality, the axiom is difficult to live out.
We live in a world that seeks personal gain, even encourages it. And as a result, we want to make sure the things we receive are equal to the gifts that we give.
But I think the statement does ring true: it is better to give than receive. This website stands as proof. The accumulation of possessions offers only short-term pleasure that fades quickly. On the other hand, generosity and giving offers a long lasting happiness, purpose, and fulfillment.
It is better to give than receive. And the stakes only get higher when we consider the themes of Christmas.
Christmas, you see, is far more than pretty presents under a tree.
Christmas is a celebration of love and joy and peace. These are the greatest gifts we can ever give. But they are often the most difficult—especially if we have not received them from others.
We dig in our heels. We decide we will offer forgiveness, but only if they make the first phone call. We will show love, but only after they sacrifice something. And we may respond in goodness, but only after they start showing some kindness to us first.
Suddenly, we fall into the same foolish trap believing it is better to receive than give.
But the themes of Christmas should not be kept to ourselves. They can only be experienced when given away.
Love. Christmas is a season of love—a celebration of sacrificing what we have to show appreciation to those who mean the most. And while expressing love to another may be the most beautiful thing we can ever do, it can also be one of the most difficult—especially when those who should love us the most withhold it. Love anyway. True love is not self-seeking. It keeps no record of wrongs. And demands nothing in return.
Joy. This world never allows for perfect circumstances. And those who wait to find joy in them, never will. It is unwise to base our happiness fully on the actions of others. But that doesn’t mean we can’t bring a little joy into the life of another by the things that we do and the words that we say. We can still be intentional about spreading joy wherever we go.
Peace. Family and personal relationships can cause conflict, turmoil, and stress at any time, but the tensions are often heightened during the holidays. Offer the gift of peace this Christmas by taking the first step. One phone call or conversation may not make amends for years of hurt, but it is still the first step that needs to get taken by somebody.
Hope. Hope is one of the greatest assets in the entire world. It is one of the greatest treasures we can ever find for ourselves. And it is one of the greatest gifts we can ever give to somebody else. See the good in others. Believe in their greatest potential. And encourage often.
Reconciliation. At its heart, Christmas is a story of reconciliation. A baby was born to offer forgiveness to those who need it most. In the same way, the holiday season creates opportunity to offer forgiveness and reconciliation to those who need it most in our lives. We can take the first step. Even before an apology has ever been uttered, we can lay the foundation for reconciliation that makes it possible.
Goodwill. People may desire to harm us, but wishing pain and suffering upon them in response only compounds the hurt. Harboring resentment, ill will, and bitterness in our hearts allows their actions to control us indefinitely into the future. On the other hand, wishing goodwill upon those who hurt us frees our soul. And it allows us to move on to better things.
These are the themes of Christmas and we should grant them freely.
Maybe the greatest gifts we can give during Christmas are the very things we most desire to receive. (tweet that)
About Joshua Becker
Our children’s first steps, or the first home after you were married and so
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Such an amazing message. Truly inspirational! Merry Christmas! xo, Hayley http://www.dailydoseofdarling.com
Absolutely beautiful post, again. Thank you, Joshua.
Hey from NZ! I discovered your blog a month ago and want to thank you so much for sharing your words and others through the weekend links. You have given me a fresh perspective which has been so timely. Tonight I will read this post to my family and recognize again how much we have received. And in light of this, may 2015 be a year in which we who have freely received so much because of God’s love, freely give. With much gratitude, Merry Christmas Mr Becker!
Beautiful words as always, and such a nice reminder of the true gifts of the season. I enjoy these posts so much, thank you!
I believe next year when someone asks me what I want for Christmas, I will disguise the link to this blog post as a product link and send it their way to read.
To quote Dr. Seuss:
“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”
I wrestle with the perfect words to tell someone who insists on buying gifts at Christmas that I truly do not want anything.
I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, so I say if you insist on a gift, gift money so I can pay off debt. But they then go to my wife and ask what do I really want, and then, as it happens to many of us, we receive gifts we don’t need and they clutter our homes and clutter our minds until we no longer feel guilty about donating it to Goodwill or AmVets.
I understanding gifting is love for some. But it doesn’t have to be a physical item.
I remember after my dad died from leukemia years ago, that when I came home to my parents’ house, all I saw was stuff. Stuff here, stuff there. Stuff that meant absolutely nothing. Just stuff. And we weren’t hoarders or rich and we didn’t own a bunch of junk, it’s just that’s all I saw when I just wanted to see my dad in one of those rooms.
Ever since that moment in May 2009, Christmas has held a different meaning for me. Opening a gift or spending money on a gift that someone likely doesn’t need just seems so pointless.
Gift love.
Gift friendship.
Gift a get together and an old story.
Gift a camping trip when it warms up.
Gift what Christmas is really about, what this blog post highlights.
If we could all just experience for a moment what it was like when all the lights went out in Hooville that day, we’d be the better for it.
I agree 100% with your writing, but it lacks something. One great thing. The reference to Christ. Although everything you write, are values taught by himself.
Keep Christ in Christmas.
“At its heart, Christmas is a story of reconciliation. A baby was born to offer forgiveness to those who need it most”.
The “baby” is Christ! ;)
As other readers have pointed out, this is one of the best posts you have written thus far. It couldn’t have come at a better time while we indulge in the festivities, which could sometimes make us lose sight of the true meaning of giving. Thanks Joshua, I read this post at the end of a mentally exhausting work day while travelling home and it sparked me to ponder what life has to offer aside from all the busy-ness we plunge ourselves into. Happy Holidays.
Riding can be achieved in nearly every sort of weather, whether it’s a pleasurable, and protected, expertise depends upon various aspects. Given that we’re deep into winter, don’t journey, move out and invest the times wishing for hotter weather!
Thank you, Joshua for the best post ever! :) Merry Christmas.
Thank you, God for Jesus.
Reconciliation – Gosh (and duh), I had clean forgotten about that one. How true. Thank you for reminding me.
Thank you so much for illustrating this principle of “better to give than receive.” It has been almost a year since I found your website. You have generously given your time and advice, and it has had such a wonderful impact on my family. I have been able to declutter our house which has made it so much easier to take care of our home. I have greatly reduced the time I spend shopping. Both of these have freed up so much time to spend with family. Finally, you have inspired me to live my life more authentically. I no longer feel the need to decorate or live by somebody else’s standards. I don’t have knick-knacks and pictures everywhere. My home is peaceful now and makes me smile every time I come home from a crazy work day. Thank you!
Beautiful post! I agree 100% and think we should practice all of this in our daily lives. The world would benefit from this kind of giving so incredibly much.
This is a wonderful post and captures the true nature of how Jesus lived.
It is certainly more blessed to give than to receive, because in giving we realize that we’ve already received abundantly. I love this!
This is an absolutely beautiful post Joshua. Thank you so much for writing and sharing it.
I agree, this is one of the best posts you’ve written.
I must ponie back on these comments- one of your best posts. Thank you Joshua for your weekly gifts. I needed to read this today.
Hi Joshua,
Thanks for this post, especially today. In the past, I’ve resisted this belief and gave equal weight to giving and recieving. I see your point clearly and I appreciate all that you and your articles give to me and others. Thanks again.
Merry Christmas and a joyous holiday season from central Mexico!
I have found in the past few years, that the more undistracted concentrated time I give to my parents and loved ones, the better our relationships get. They are happy when they receive items from me, but if I spend time with them, they are so much happier with the gift of time.
Even if we spend that time sitting in each other’s company in silence, it is still precious to them.
Absolutely true! Recently a grandmother talked about a visit from her grandson…she is ill and cannot do much but they spent 8 hrs on a board game and during the visit played other games as well. He had a great time chatting with her and she got to catch up on his life. She paused a moment reflectively and then said, “Those will be his memories of his grandparents. We don’t get much time with him. But spending the time playing games with him and giving him individual attention will stay with him always.”