Note: This is a guest post from Erica Layne of The Life On Purpose Movement.
A houseplant sprouted and transplanted from one my grandma had twenty years ago.
A rug my grandparents picked up on their travels.
A letter my mom wrote to me when I was born.
The pieces of clothing each of my babies wore the day we took them home from the hospital.
These are some of my most precious possessions. And aside from photo books and Christmas-tree ornaments, they also happen to be some of my only sentimental items.
If you’re surrounded by pieces that once belonged to someone you loved or that represent a different time in your life (keepsakes from your childhood, toys your kids have long since outgrown, or clothes that no longer suit your lifestyle), what value can all of those pieces really have to you?
Do you really see them? Do you run your hands over them and experience the memories they bring up?
Or do they blend into the background of your life?
What Is Habituation?
This is the law of habituation at work: The more you’re exposed to a certain stimulus, the less you see it.
For example, you could walk through a hallway in a commercial building and pass three fire extinguishers without ever registering them. You’ve walked past hundreds of fire extinguishers in your lifetime, so they barely make a blip on your radar anymore.
Your brain is wired for survival, so it scans your environments for things that are new and potentially threatening—not for things that are familiar and harmless.
Because of this, the things you have a hard time parting with are blurred and hidden by everything around you. They’re not adding value to your life because you’re not even seeing them.
To Your Brain, Less is Literally More
But once you’ve narrowed your collection down, you’ll actually be able to notice and give attention to the few pieces that are most meaningful to you.
You can feel the glossy texture and appreciate the weight of the baking dish that your mom used almost every day of your childhood.
You can mindfully spin your grandma’s wedding ring around on your finger, because you’re wearing it instead of letting it sit unnoticed in a box of jewelry you never wear.
You can smile at the string of seashells that hangs over your bathroom mirror—the seashells your dad picked up on his final trip to the beach.
But… How?
The question you might be asking now is, how? How do I whittle an entire home full of collectibles and keepsakes down to just a handful?
I suggest you make a nostalgia album.
Gather up the special pieces in your home, and divide them into two to three categories. For example: (1) family heirlooms, (2) momentos from your life, and (3) keepsakes from raising your kids.
Take photos of each item, and then use a photo printing service to print a book of your sentimental items—your nostalgia album.
If you have a large number of objects, you may want to create an album for each of your categories. If not, each category can simply be a section in your photobook.
Once your nostalgia album is in your hands, you can simply donate, throw out, or recycle the objects in it—trusting that your memories lie in the experiences or the person, not the object you thought represented it.
Stop Overlooking the Things You Love
I hope the law of habituation helps you let go of volume in exchange for meaning.
Ultimately, the few pieces you keep will have more impact on you than a house full of things you once owned and… constantly overlooked.
***
Erica Layne is a bestselling author, podcast host, mom of three, and founder of The Life On Purpose Movement. She helps women build their lives on what they value most, so they can let the rest slip away—guilt-free. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or on her website.
Linda L Dabrowski says
Here’s one. I have my maternal grandmother’s and my deceased mother’s recipe boxes from years ago. What do I do with them>
Stacey says
Cherish them! Go through them – pick your favs; cook those unfamiliar and decide which of all are for keeps and cherish them! ❤
Lori says
So true. No such a thing as enough good recipes on social media, those don’t have special healthy ingredients that I love to use, they don’t bring pure satisfaction that last. The one I prefer the most are that one with many potential and stick on my fridge I would reuse and twist and twirl them to give it anew fresh flavor. And there is so much more if you ever want to give it a try.
Christa says
and enter them into digital form, like Plan to Eat or even just Word, so you can share with family members!
Beth Rhodes says
Frame a few favorites and display in kitchen. Look on Pinterest also for ideas.
Debbie says
Send one or more to other descendants. I have my Grannies fruitcake recipe in her handwriting. No one is going to make it, but several people thanked me, just to have it
D says
Unfortunately, the law of habituation causes some of us to keep entire collections of things without looking at them, which preserves the chance to experience the memories afresh. I kept a cabinet from my childhood, and was upset (a couple of decades ago) when someone opened it to empty it out. I didn’t even want to see what was in it. Friends whose daughter died years ago still have her entire bedroom intact. One parent likes to go in the room and lie on the bed (it retains her smell); the other is offended that the shrine has been violated (and the smell dispersed). It’s the latter that exemplifies my point. Last month I came across a high school yearbook (my sister’s, after my father died) and looking through it brought back memories of people I hadn’t thought about in 40 years. If I looked at the yearbook often, the original memories would be replaced by the more recent experience of them. What’s that called? There are many things that I remember remembering, but no longer remember.
Debbie says
Send one or more to other descendants. I have my Grannies fruitcake recipe in her handwriting. No one is going to make it, but several people thanked me, just to have it
Roselyn Davis says
I’ve been downing sizing for years. Downsized when I was retiring. Then downsized some more when I moved to my retirement home.
Then surprise! I got married long after a divorce. So although I have a unit of my own, I live with my husband in his unit. I have a room of my own which I had shelving units installed and my closet done over for more space. Now I’m downsizing my wardrobe, shoes, accessories, etc. I do have some family jewelry which I will not give away but I can’t wear rings (disfigured knuckles) so I don’t know what to do with these items.
Mary Moody Foster says
You are continuing to grow and enhance your life. Wonderful! Purging my stuff has been so liberating. I also have downsized and moved to an active adult community. I don’t cook like I use to. I gave away my heavy pots. If it can’t be cooked in a small pan, rice cooker or baking sheet, it’s too time consuming. — Mary Moody Foster, author of Teaching Bites, alittle inspirational book for teachers.
Carla Crans says
Can you wear your most important ring(s) on a chain? I have thought of doing this. I also plan to pass on my jewellery. It’s not like I have a lot of expensive jewellery but I think my kids would like to have them.
Kathleen Walker says
I live in a high fire risk area of Northern California so I don’t have a physical photo book of possessions. I do have photos of sentimental items on my laptop and backed up to the cloud. This folder gets viewed every couple of months.
Marta says
I understand this completely! I live in the Rocky Mountains and fire has come within 1/2 mile. I keep photos of EVERTHING in a binder elsewhere.
Julie Williams says
My Mama passed last February and left me a few items. One being her wedding ring band. Nothing fancy but I loved it and she told my
oldest sister to make sure I got it because I had asked her for it many decades ago. I don’t remember asking her but if she said I did.. I did. She had already given me her artwork and depression glass years before. I display her art and use the dishes and will pass them on to my oldest daughter when the time is right. An album made of her artwork sounds like a lovely idea I can do in the future!
Erica says
These all sound like beautiful, well-loved pieces, Julie! Thinking about you as the anniversary of her loss approaches.
Niki says
Vanity, vanity—- My family moved a lot when I was younger. My husband and I, and our oldest have moved a lot too. Our middle has spent most of his life in the house we’ve been in for almost 13 years, and the baby, he will be 13 next Monday.
I learned early on to not get attached to anything, which makes it hard to figure out how I ended up in so much clutter. We don’t look at photo albums, we don’t use over half of what we own. The only real nostalgic items I have is or souvenirs from Israel, and even those don’t get looked at. I’ve said it before but for about 7 years now I have been trying to declutter and yet here I am looking at clutter-wondering; will it happen this year? I’m tired and I’ve given up trying.
Emma Butler says
Ditto!! I’m starting with baby steps. Decluttered Christmas stuff
MARJORIE ALBRITTON says
This post is important to me as I am down-sizing (since my husband died) from a 6-room house to a single room at my daughter’s. I’ve albums of our travels, family reunions, family pictures. Your photo suggestion will make much of it simpler. Even the rooms can be photographed and kept as memory of the happy times.
Karen Caffrey says
Wonderful advice! I wear my grandmother’s wedding ring next to mine. It helps me hold her and all my ancestors in my awareness and my heart.
Betsy says
Great article. A few hours ago I was looking for a particular item in my craft room. It hit me how much stuff I have that I forgot about. Why??? Because it’s packed away and I don’t see it so I guess in my mind it doesn’t exist. But it does!!! I need to decide what I’ll really use and donate the rest. Out of sight out of mind until the stuff is overwhelming!
kathy says
Betsy I find my craft room holds so much guilt (for how much money I have spent) and it is the one room I have trouble paring down because everything has a use. But when things start overflowing I am overwhelmed and don’t create – I just move things around and ‘organize’. So I am consciously making an effort. It’s been a journey but I am working through everything – making a choice. Good Luck!
Sarah says
This piece was very timely. My partner recently came to the conclusion that his childhood comic collection is simply taking up space as opposed to adding value to his life (he hasn’t touched them in years).
Erica says
“Taking up space as opposed to adding value” – such a great description! Thanks for reading, Sarah!!