Recently, I received an email from a reader. It went something like this, “We just don’t feel like we’re winning at money. Do you have any advice?”
I’m not going to include any details of the message—they are not necessary. But the sender phrased an important question, “How can we win at money?”
When most people think of winning (or succeeding) at money, they do so in terms of comparison to other people. They wonder, “Do I have as much money as others?” If so, they assume they are winning.
One problem with this approach is that looks can be deceiving. One friend may dress in nice clothes or drive a nice car, but have so much debt their net worth is below zero. Another friend may drive a modest car, but have investments well above the averages.
We never win at money by comparing our possessions with others.
In fact, we never win at life when we compare ourselves to others.
Winning at money should be defined differently.
The question we should be asking is this: Am I meeting my financial needs and spending my money in a way that is aligned with my values?
If you are, you are winning at money! The goal each of us should pursue with our finances is to meet our needs and align our spending with our passions.
How then do we win at money?
Given my definition above, here are the steps we should take to win at money:
1. Don’t see money as a competition.
One of the most joy-robbing things you can ever do is compare your income, savings, or net worth with another person. Remember, you have a 1/7,350,000,000 chance of being the wealthiest person on the planet. If you are not the wealthiest human alive, comparing your money is always going to be a losing proposition—there is always going to be somebody with more. So don’t see money as a competition with others, see it as a competition with yourself to make the most of the little bit that you have.
2. If you have food, shelter, and clothing, remind yourself you have enough money.
If money is not a competition, then what is it? Money is merely a means to expedite trade. It allows us to purchase the things we need for life—food, shelter, clothing, etc. If you are able to meet the needs of your family, it is important to remind yourself that you already have enough. Does that mean you eat at the fanciest restaurants in your town or live in the most expensive neighborhood? No, it doesn’t. But it does mean your needs are met and that is something to celebrate.
To get a sense how your income compares to your fixed costs, use a personal spending plan.
3. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.
Most people reading this blog post earn enough money to live. Not everyone, of course, but most. One reason we struggle to get ahead financially is because we waste so much on things we don’t need. One way to win at money is to reject excessive consumerism. As an example, we chose to pursue a more minimalist life in 2008 and have saved over $150,000 from unnecessary spending since then. You can do the same.
4. Save some money.
One way or another, put some money in savings every paycheck. Even if it’s only a few dollars each pay period, find it and put it aside. You can open a savings account at your local bank or you can use online resources like Robinhood (if you’d like to invest in stocks) or Capital One Savings (if you just want the interest). I currently use all three options for personal savings.
5. Give some money.
Your money is only as valuable as what you choose to spend it on. One of the quickest ways to feel like you are winning at money is to use some to help solve problems you are passionate about solving. Again, you may only be able to give a few dollars each month, but give something, somewhere. Not only will this gift help others, it will give you a great sense of satisfaction in life and serve as a reminder that you already have enough.
6. Ask questions.
If you want to win at money, find somebody you look up to and ask as many questions as possible. Ask them how they got started making money, saving money, or investing money. Ask them what lessons shaped their decision-making over the years. And ask them about specific circumstances in your life. Most people want to help you. But when it comes to something as personal and private as money, they are not going to step into your life without an invitation.
If your goal with money is to have more than the person next to you, you’ll never be content. Additionally, if you are looking for money to provide you with happiness and security, you’ll never find enough. These are not the proper measurements to determine if you are winning at money.
Are your needs met? And are you spending your money in a way that aligns with your values? If so, you are winning. Well done.
Ghost of Ghandi says
It is inaccurate to compare yourself with others. The availability of easy credit skews appearances.
Lori says
Thanks for the helpful ink. While I understand the wisdom in saving, I’m troubled by the strong cultural emphasis on huge retirement savings and how that emphasis impacts our lives – it can turn us into money hoarders. I think there must be a better way . . .
Mari R says
Joshua, can you please include emergency saving, healthcare cost and retirement funding to #2 above?
joshua becker says
Savings is included as its own entry.
Mari R says
I get it. Going through modest retirement costs more than $1M per couple. Medical expenses push many people toward bankruptcy. Thank you for explaining that #4 Save some money includes preparations for these events.
CJ says
Don’t forget loss of housing, job, divorce and more expenses. There is so much little help for those who become single not at their fault, and no win at money at it. What is better way.
Lori says
What are your thoughts on saving for retirement?
joshua becker says
You can find a snapshot of my views on retirement in #5 of this blog post.
laurel says
Great way to condense what I’ve preached to my kids for life. I also tell them that “enough” changes throughout our lives and when in doubt…talk it out.
Ironically, we have approached this same philosphy with our interior design clients. Enough means so many different things to each of us. Our homes make an impact on our lives…how wonderful when we all achieve the abode that is right for us.
Crista Lowery says
Great idea to stop getting emails, not just trash them. But that’s a lot easier said than done.
Do you have any advice for the companies that seems impossible to get out of?
For example, I drive past Big Lots and Walmart on the way home. So my phone gets full of their messages.
Peggy says
Hi Crista:
Turn off your Google locator on your phone. That may work. Here’s what worked for me with email Spam:
After about 20 times trying to Unsubscibe to Wayfair, I finally called them and threatened them with a lawsuit. It still didn’t work! Then I started labelling their insistent daily (sometimes hourly) emails as Spam on my Google mail account, and miraculously, they stopped appearing in my Inbox. A few days later I surreptitiously looked in my Spam box, there they were. Naturally, I didn’t open any of them, that would have probably started the whole ordeal all over again.
Judy says
Good, sound advice. I would also encourage all readers to go back and look at the very short article recently about greed and worry, and the similarities of the two emotions and their effects on us.That article to me was one of the very best. It is so simple but so very enlightening.
Fajar says
Turn off for someday