“You don’t have to be a ‘person of influence’ to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they’ve taught me.” —Scott Adams
Our lives matter. This is indeed life-giving news to each of us.
We all want to live lives of significance—lives that make a difference in the world around us. We were designed to live for something greater than ourselves. And each of us were born with an ingrained desire to accomplish that.
As a result, our world cares deeply about influence. We pay for it, fight for it, and study how to get more of it. Our world measures it, ranks it, and ascribes it to people for foolish reasons. But in our constant struggle to attain influence, we often miss out on one very important truth:
We already have it! Each of us is already an influencer of others.
To live is to influence. Whenever and wherever our lives interact with others (at home, at work, on-line, or in our community), we have influence. We change lives. We affect people every single day with the words we say, the looks on our face, the actions we choose, and the decisions we make.
It would be wise for us to stop always asking how to acquire more and instead, start asking what to do with the influence we already have.
The interactions we have in this world offer both a great and challenging opportunity. They can be positive or negative. They can add value to the lives of others or they can take value away. Our opportunity for influence can become an important agent for change or it can further cement the status quo. It can make our world a better place to be or a crummier place to endure. There are no neutral contributors in this world.
Every day, whether we interact with 5 people, 50 people, or 500, our lives matter and produce a ripple effect that extends far beyond us. Let’s model integrity, celebrate growth, encourage strength, and push for positive change.
If we’re not doing well with the influence we already have, why do we think the world would benefit if we had more? (tweet that)
The greatest influencers, I believe, are those who make matters personal before they make them right.
I couldn’t agree more with this post, Joshua. Many of us don’t believe we have much influence because we conflate it with worldly power. Thankfully those aren’t the same thing… unlike power, influence is within everyone’s grasp.
“The greatest influencers, I believe, are those who make matters personal before they make them right.”
Would you unpack this? I think this is significant and I want to better understand what you mean.
I think she means you have to get yourself straight first before you can help others. As Jesus said…how can you say, “let me help you get that spec out of your eye”—-when you can’t see past the board in your own.
It seems these days people only want to influence on some grand scale…how can I appeal to this HUGE audience on social media, youtube, blogs, etc. But I think it’s the little things that matter, on a daily basis. How do you treat the receptionist when you go into an office? How do you interact with the checker at the grocery store? You never know how that tiny piece might have a ripple affect in a good way that will benefit the greater good…and perhaps even yourself.
Well said, Tonya. True in so many ways.
Love this! It’s not about ‘look at me on FB’ it’s about the people that come across your path during the day. I stopped a college student with the most beautiful red hair last week and told her so. She said, ‘me?’ I went on for a few minutes about what a gorgeous color of red it was and that people with red hair are so lucky. Bear in mind, I’m old enough to be her grandmother. She just beamed and said ‘you made my day!’
Spot on!
Interesting point of view! I guess it’s true that we all have influence, but what we want is Controlled influence – to influence others in the way we intended.
We don’t just want to influence other people at random, we want to be able to control how we influence them in the first place!
Too often we think in terms of numbers. There’s gotta be a better measuring stick.
How ’bout one life changed, in one small but meaningful way, at a time instead of trying to be in 10 places at once …
Spot on, Linda.
Live in the moment. We can harness our power of influence in that one place where we are, with that one person we’re with. Keeping count wouldn’t really matter, although if we genuinely live in the moment, the count may just go up!
I couldn’t agree more!
People wish to be a good influence on others, yet fail to realise that they are and can be! It’s so easy to be a good person, you just live with kindness and compassion, doing compassionate deeds for no reward other than you have helped another person grow happier in their life, even if it’s only for a short period of time!
People can do more than they think they can. One person can change someone’s life with just one thing, for better or for the worst. Or even change the whole world if they really want to
I couldn’t agree more Karolina. Someone I worked with as a client decided to go in to healthcare in the same role as I do because they were inspired. Everyone they help in the future came from that one initial change. Poweful stuff!
So true. I couldn’t agree more. Trying to be a good influence on a few people is enough for me. There are so many inspiring people out there already…
Often we think we don’t have ‘enough’ influence because we want to control the changes that others make as a result of our influence. It is easy to miss the changes others make as we go about our lives when they use us as a model. I started Mindful Minimalism UK as so many people were giving me feedback on the influence I’d had within my local parenting network. I wasn’t trying to be influential. It happened naturally.
So true! I hope I’ve been a blessing in many peoples lives :)
I agree wholeheartedly with the article – so many times I have influenced people in my life without even realizing it. I am avid fitness person – I care about what I eat, and I exercise regularly (without fail). It is just one of my passions. I don’t tell anyone else in my life to do the same as me. If they ask me for advice, I will give it, but I never want to preach to someone else.
But I have noticed the better I look, the toner I get, the stronger I am, the more other people ask me how to get where I am. The healthier I look, the more I am asked about how to get into yoga, how to eat healthier, how to eat more naturally.
I influence without even trying, just by being passionate about the subject, and by changing myself – by being a beacon of fitness to the people around me.
We definitely have more influence than we give ourselves credit for.
WOW. Simple profound truths. we ALL need this reminder. Thank you Josh.
Thanks for this great reminder. I’m a middle school teacher and we start back to school next week. The kids are sorely in need of good people who care about them. It is actually kind of daunting when you step back and look at the opportunity/responsibility to be an influential person in the life of so many kids. Like Karolina said, we can unintentionally be a bad influence for someone too. “Every day, whether we interact with 5 people, 50 people, or 500, our lives matter and produce a ripple effect that extends far beyond us. Let’s model integrity, celebrate growth, encourage strength, and push for positive change.”
Yes! My everyday life and actions influence those I interact with and love the most. I see this when I watch my boys interact with the world around them. It’s both incredibly empowering and very humbling.
How do we model this behavior and still avoid being taken advantage of?
I often think of this with my children, who unfortunately or fortunately, are privy to all of my moods. It’s a relief to me that I can be an influencer in asking for forgiveness as well.
“There are no neutral contributors in this world…” What a profound statement! We are either influencing for good or we are not, but we are exercising our influence either way. I know that most of the people who have made the biggest impact on my life have been simple, humble, people who lift others without calling attention to themselves. They have shown me that one person can make a big difference. Maybe we all won’t be able to reach the masses, but we can all reach somebody and, over time, many people. Thanks for the inspiring food for thought.
Most of the time we need visible results of change/ influence to get motivated, but it’s okay to just be aware that things push each other in a natural way. It’s okay to be anonymous in this ripple effect influence game :)
The subtle influences are the most powerful, which is frightening and empowering. This is servant-leadership at its core! Leading and influencing by doing, rather than preaching.
Thank you for this reminder.
Refreshing perspective and a reminder of our daily reality – we are influencers every single minute we interact with people – every single one!
Myself, often assuming one needs a special platform and status to have influence – such as being President, CEO, famous author etc. Thinking back over the interactions I had today – how much joy, hope, inspiration did I leave in my wake?
Step 1: starts with awareness. Step 2: Decision Step 3: Action.
I can learn to give every person I encounter a genuine, warm smile – everyone! Especially the sour ones. Amazing the effect! I can decide not to condemn, and rather listen well. That’s but the beginning.
Great post, Joshua!
A great article Joshua. Sometimes we have to decide whether we want to be in the acquirer’s camp or the contributors camp. It requires us to live intentionally with thought put into our actions if we want to be contributors. That said, we must select one job and do it well – not try to stretch ourselves too thinly.
Thank you for this wonderful article – I needed to hear it.
what an inpirational post, keep it up Joshua becker
What a wonderful article! It is true, most of the people who have influenced me the most — positive or negative — have done so by the examples they have set, the way they have treated other people, and their demonstration of how they chose to live their lives. Most of them were not seeking to have an impact.
This is one of my favorite posts. I’ve read it a few days ago and its still resonating with me.
Thank you Joshua, for this article…this is just what I needed to read/hear right now!!!
I accidentally fattened my cat and I feel like a horrible influencer.
Such a beautiful piece. So often we write a blog or shoot a video and wonder, does anyone care? Is anyone listening?
Then, every so often, you catch a glimpse of the influence you have in your circles. It’s an amazing and an empowering feeling. Thank you so much for capturing that feeling here!