I was recently asked, “How does your view of passing on an inheritance factor in your minimizing?”
I responded with a quote from Peter Strople I’ve never forgotten:
Legacy is not leaving something for people. It’s leaving something in people.
The inheritance we pass on to our children is more than the material possessions or the financial assets outlined in our will. It also includes the legacy we leave and the example we set. In this way, inheritance is more than what we usually think about.
This is an important perspective—and the ramifications are significant.
Interestingly, the very definition of inheritance includes this reality:
inheritance
noun
: something, as a quality, characteristic, or other immaterial possession, received from progenitors or predecessors as if by succession.
The inheritance we leave for our children extends beyond the material things in our attic or the zeroes in our bank account. Our inheritance also includes the example we live, the moral compass we set, the character we develop, and the name we build for ourselves and our family.
This is important to remember, first of all, for those with little financial wealth. Regardless of the dollar amount contained in your will, you can still pass on to your children (and their children) a valuable inheritance by living a life of character and decency focused on the things that matter most. This inheritance, by the way, is more valuable in the long run than a dollar figure anyway.
This truth about immaterial inheritance is also relevant and challenging to those with financial means. When wealth is added to the equation, it becomes very tempting to define and focus only on the material possessions that we desire to pass on: the house, the land, the bank accounts, the businesses.
But relatively speaking, these assets are less important than the character traits and the life model we will inevitably pass on to our children. For our kids’ sake, it is shortsighted to spend our lives focused too much on financial wealth, rather than character development.
Regardless of your net worth, if you have family, you will pass on an inheritance. Let’s remember the gifts we can leave to our children extend far beyond material possessions. And work diligently to focus on the most important.
About Joshua Becker
THIS is so true! Who we are matters! How we treat one another matters!
BUT in 2021, this beautiful reminder of the legacy we leave our children is juxtaposed with the reality that the indigenous community here in Canada was robbed of that privlidge.
And while I want to say, “Yes” and share this widely, I cannot do that without also bringing the harsh reality that this promotion of legacy is exactly what was taken from them. It’s messed up to now see it bring promoted within the current upheaval caused by the mission that caused residential schools in Canada, in the first place.
Hundreds of thousands of families will never have this experience of leaving beautiful legacies for their children so it seems cruel to promote THIS when they’re now finding the graves of theirs.
Excellent article money is only one example of one part of our legacy that parents leave us. This article is so on point. It makes sense on so many levels. We live in such a materialistic world. Money is often the root of all evil all evil at times. So many times. People often fight over wills. As a parent lesson of kindness and helping others is what mattered the most to me as parent. I raised a nurse and a counselor. The were could people kids. I lost my son at 29. My daughter and I share a close relationship and I am have new granddaughter. I hope to pass loving qualities on to her.
this is a timely read for me. I am the oldest of seven and this past month it became clear that mom and dad needed more care. My youngest sister has opened her home to them. They have moved in with her and seem content and happy. The packing of their home was a personal nightmare for me. My mother has always put more value on her possessions than her children. So when I read that inheritance was more than just monetary that resonates with me. What I have always felt and was made apparent to me is the fact that she can put monetary value on all her collectibles but gave no value or self worth to her children. So the lesson for me going forward is for my legacy to my children is that possessions don’t matter but happiness, health and self are all that is important to be successful in life
Interesting read. I’ve witnessed both the passing of my in laws and the mess my husband and his brother had to clean up. After retiring ten years ago, we’ve decided to downsize. Our four bedroom house plus 3 separate sheds were reduced to fit in a three bedroom villa with no storage space all. We started minimizing 6 months before we moved. We got rid of so much stuff that will help my children ease cleaning up when we pass.
In this day and age, don’t forget about your digital legacy/inheritance.
I have a few pieces that my son could use when he furnishes his first apartment. Same with some pots and pans and kitchen items. I want to just get rid of it all, but this could save him some money in the near future.
My family lost two grandparents and two parents in the last three years. Such amazing people. My unflappable mother deconstructed three households. So much stuff. She says the memories are the lightest to carry-
Thanks for the great post
What a great way to look at inheritance. Like Nanette, I had to clear out all the mementos my mother had saved, which is something I wrote about recently. Leaving material things behind that no one knows what to do with isn’t nearly as important as leaving behind loving memories, an example of a life well lived, and lessons on how to be a good and responsible person. Thankfully, my mother left those behind as well, as I hope to do for my children.
Very well said. And I love the quote by Strople, never heard it before.
When most people think of inheritance, unfortunately first thing that comes to mind is money. That is very fleeting (studies have shown that majority of generational wealth is lost by the 2nd and 3rd generations).
Also care must be taken not to raise children that feel entitled when their parents are wealthy. I try to emphasize character and financial responsibility to my daughter so that hopefully she can have a successful life without any financial input from me when she is an adult.
After going through a very rough time when my mom passed away, this would’ve been great to read them as a reminder of everything she left that I couldn’t see. Great post.
It’s not to late to reframe! <3
I spent a great deal of time to locate something similar to
this
This is a great reminder about leaving a legacy!
I have recently joined your email list. I am so enlightened by the articles, stories, and advice. There is so much “to unpack” so to speak, but I will share one story….we are cleaning out my mom’s garage and she has kept every paper she has touched over the past 90 years of her life (i.e., birth announcements, wedding invites, greeting cards, church bulletins, etc.). I think about all of these lost opportunities that instead of connecting as a family, we are shuffling these boxes from place to place and figuring out where to put it. Thank you Joshua. It isn’t too late for anyone to become a minimalist and I share everything that I am learning with her. My children will not experience the same in my garage during my senior years!
When my dad passed away I had to refuse his legacy (a long story about not well intentioned associated). It was a very difficult decision to make, to separate the legal legacy from my dad’s legacy to me.
I was very lucky to have a smart and kind notary. She understood perfectly my struggles and enabled me to put my finger on these mixed feelings.
Of course there is now a paper that says that I refused his legacy. But I am his daughter and thanks to his legacy I could find the strength to make this decision.
I cannot count the number of time I have ahah moments like “oh this is what dad meant” or “oh I get it now”. And this is so much more than a piece of paper.
Thank you for this kind article, and a big hug to all of the readers that have lost a dear one <3
My mom taught me that Jesus was everything…
I lost her at an early age— but always had God to trust in, to help me through.
I call that the ultimate legacy.
The best inheritance is in memories of loving but firm parents that taught you to be a good adult. However if you have not saved and invested well to the point that you have something to hand down or even worse if you become a drain on your children’s finances at the very time they are trying to get their kids through college then I wonder what kind of memories they will have. My memories are of great parents who also left a sizable estate to me and my brother. I believe my three kids will have very similar memories of us.
Thank you for your article. It had a huge impact on me given that we lost our dad this week. He got sick suddenly 2 and a half weeks ago and now he is gone. Your article was like a sunray of hope amidst a sea of grief. My dad was great man, and one of those pillar people where you may not notice them when they are there, but you will certainly notice them when they are gone. He left us an incredible legacy by his example and character. Next week at his funeral, I will get up and quote Peter Strople with gratitude of all my dad gave us. Thank you.
Beautiful article and beautiful words: leave something in people. I love that.
I think a few really important issues can be added. If you leave a mess (a house full of stuff, a storage unit full of stuff) for your family to go through then you leave them with a ton of decisions to make and a lot of stress. Also, if the person has not prepared and set up a Vital Records file and sent it to their Executor they can be left with a huge headache of researching accounts and possibly missing out on Insurance policies and stocks.
My parents passed away when I was just a young child. One of my first memories was prayer. My mom would pray with me and talk to me about God. We had a picture on the wall of Jesus and she would walk me over to it and she always gave Christ a Polish name. (I will not even attempt to spell it ) lol. — So I told a Polish person I know this story… and said that the first word I remember learning was Jesus (in Polish). My Polish friend said NO. That word is not Jesus… it means “Everything”.
My legacy. I am the lucky one :)
Beautiful story
That is beautiful ♥️
You were very blessed, even though they were gone too soon.
You’ll be together again, someday! ?
The “Becoming Minimalist” author, site, has changed my life! I love all I have been learning and I love all the articles and I love the emails. Thank you! What a blessing to me and so many others!
As to the article concerning inheritance, I never knew what the word truly meant. I’m 51 and
thought I knew what inheritance meant! It means more than I thought I knew.
This caused me to think about how many folks will die leaving their children with their debts. Acquiring wealth is, in itself, a kind of value that you pass on. Similarly, acquiring debt, and not dealing with it during your lifetime, also communicates a value to your surviving loved ones. Thinking of acquiring wealth/debt/possessions/experiences/etc in terms of how you want to communicate that as a value to the next generation is another layer.
Thank you for this thoughtful piece
Such an encouraging article! And so True!
I love the statement about leaving something in people. That lives on, never wearing out, fading, or breaking.
Perfect timing for me to read this article and also interesting timing due to a particular situation I am dealing with.
Thank you so much for validating what I’ve always believed to be true. It’s hard to keep my beliefs strong amidst so many people who believe that the bank account and the financial inheritance is the GOAL!
Wow. I completely misread the opening sentence “How does your view of passing on an inheritance factor in your minimizing”. I had interpreted “passing on” to mean declining, as in declining an inheritance (aka stuff) left to you.
You’re not alone! That was my first interpretation, as well. I read, re-read, then on reading forward caught the gist of the article. That “turn of a phrase”! It’s easy to see how miscommunication can happen – even among native speakers.
It is curious to contemplate the possibility of passing, as in declining, the “stuff” of inheritance. It seems to be a package deal – we take the good (desired $) with the bad (undesired), separate the wheat from the chaff. It’s part of the process that we all are hoping to simplify for our children, while also creating more intentional lives for ourselves now.
I’m happy to know someone else misread the title! I, too, thought “passing on an inheritance “ meant declining to accept one. I wonder if that comes from never having received a significant one?
The values that are expressed here do much to restore my faith that goodness and sanity are still evident in the world. Life is not about “things”, it is about how much love, and integrity and goodness we leave behind. Thank you!
You words ring so true. There are parents that are considered successful. They have lived a life of shady backroom deals, robbing and cheating others.
They treat their spouses, children and other family members poorly but still in the eyes of society they are successful.
They leave their children an inheritance of financial wealth but also this poor example of how to behave in the world.
You often see the children mirroring that same behavior and experiencing the same negative effect on their family life but yet again they are considered successful by many societal standards.
Thanks for pointing out the definition of “inheritance” and it’s true meaning.
Apt as I prepare my will this month. Thank you so much for highlighting this Joshua.
Honour and decency are passed on from generation to generation. My family from way back were heavily involved in the Union in England when conditions were appalling and they were also involved in community work. That empathy for the underdog has been passed down and down through the years and i am very glad it has. Not a lot of money but really, whats more important.
An awesome read. Many times, we think about inheritance as something that is tangible but the intangibles go far beyond and that is something that we have a lot to think about as a society.
A reminder I think we all need. Thank you! :) The time we have with our kids and what we do with that/instill in them is worth the most of all.
I find this greatly encouraging! Due to some bad financial decisions in the early 2000’s, my husband and I have a very modest bank account. While we are only in our 50’s and still have time to reverse that, it can be frustrating to realize that we will probably never have the assets we used to have. But we know that we have given our children many other things that money can’t buy, not the least of which are unconditional love, acceptance, and encouragement.
Patti,
My parents have gone through rought financial times in the past and my dad passed away with hardly no assets. What I’ve got from them is that when life is hard, you have to hold tight, that family is everything, that experience elevated while things slow you down. With their education I have a strong base is terms of values that I can put to good use in building my own life. This is priceless to me. Just wanted to write a little encouragement <3