I was recently asked, “How does your view of passing on an inheritance factor in your minimizing?”
I responded with a quote from Peter Strople I’ve never forgotten:
Legacy is not leaving something for people. It’s leaving something in people.
The inheritance we pass on to our children is more than the material possessions or the financial assets outlined in our will. It also includes the legacy we leave and the example we set. In this way, inheritance is more than what we usually think about.
This is an important perspective—and the ramifications are significant.
Interestingly, the very definition of inheritance includes this reality:
inheritance
noun
: something, as a quality, characteristic, or other immaterial possession, received from progenitors or predecessors as if by succession.
The inheritance we leave for our children extends beyond the material things in our attic or the zeroes in our bank account. Our inheritance also includes the example we live, the moral compass we set, the character we develop, and the name we build for ourselves and our family.
This is important to remember, first of all, for those with little financial wealth. Regardless of the dollar amount contained in your will, you can still pass on to your children (and their children) a valuable inheritance by living a life of character and decency focused on the things that matter most. This inheritance, by the way, is more valuable in the long run than a dollar figure anyway.
This truth about immaterial inheritance is also relevant and challenging to those with financial means. When wealth is added to the equation, it becomes very tempting to define and focus only on the material possessions that we desire to pass on: the house, the land, the bank accounts, the businesses.
But relatively speaking, these assets are less important than the character traits and the life model we will inevitably pass on to our children. For our kids’ sake, it is shortsighted to spend our lives focused too much on financial wealth, rather than character development.
Regardless of your net worth, if you have family, you will pass on an inheritance. Let’s remember the gifts we can leave to our children extend far beyond material possessions. And work diligently to focus on the most important.
Billy Graham said, “The greatest legacy one can pass on to one’s children is not money or other material things accumulated in one’s life, but rather a legacy of character and faith.”
When my mother told me about her meager life insurance policy she had in place for me she asked me if I’d like to cash it in and go on a 7 day cruise to the Caribbean islands with her and my 9 year old son. We chose the cruise on the SSNorway. She bought many of our posed pictures and we took hundreds of our own and made two albums. She was diagnosed with cancer the following year. She passed in 1996. I browse those albums often and I’m so glad we cashed in that insurance policy! I’ll remember that time always.
I think far too many people spend their whole lives waiting and “wondering” what they will get when their parents die. The reality is, money comes and goes and often the money we think will change our lives, does not change much. I watched this happen more times than I wish to admit. People wait, what happens when they get something, then sad when it’s gone, then wait again for money to land in their laps again. I tell my son find your own life, make your own wealth, and focus on yourself. When my mother passed, I was blessed with an inheritance and I treated that like a gift and made sure to carefully use the money to benefit my family. I am eternally grateful, but what I mostly remember about my mom is not the money that she left me, but the lessons she taught me. I remember the resilience I learned from her, the strength and I miss talking to her. If I could trade the money to get her back, I would.
Chris, Well said and so agree of What’s In It For ME!'(WIFM). I’m blessed to still have my mother but loosing my father years back I carry forward his love for taking pride in your home, being successful, taking good care of my mother and her home. And honestly all this puts more of a value on one’s life and family values than looking out for the $$$. Like you my inheritance will be a blessed gift and used wisely as I’m frugal and money smart. But I will carry forward the mutual character traits of both her and my father. Being kind, considerate and respectful.
Exactly what has been on my mind recently. My mother was the best example for generations of folks in my family. Just as her young granddaughter said at her funeral, “Grandma knew what was important.”. ,….Some of what she left for us are example of hard work, determination, love of children, love of flowers, commitment to her faith, love, caring, compassion, devotion to family, sacrifice, love of reading, organization, gratitude, listening, fellowship. Sharing, caring. What a legacy from a financially poor, single mother of ten,
THIS is so true! Who we are matters! How we treat one another matters!
BUT in 2021, this beautiful reminder of the legacy we leave our children is juxtaposed with the reality that the indigenous community here in Canada was robbed of that privlidge.
And while I want to say, “Yes” and share this widely, I cannot do that without also bringing the harsh reality that this promotion of legacy is exactly what was taken from them. It’s messed up to now see it bring promoted within the current upheaval caused by the mission that caused residential schools in Canada, in the first place.
Hundreds of thousands of families will never have this experience of leaving beautiful legacies for their children so it seems cruel to promote THIS when they’re now finding the graves of theirs.
Excellent article money is only one example of one part of our legacy that parents leave us. This article is so on point. It makes sense on so many levels. We live in such a materialistic world. Money is often the root of all evil all evil at times. So many times. People often fight over wills. As a parent lesson of kindness and helping others is what mattered the most to me as parent. I raised a nurse and a counselor. The were could people kids. I lost my son at 29. My daughter and I share a close relationship and I am have new granddaughter. I hope to pass loving qualities on to her.
The quote is, “The love of money is the root of all evil.” That does clarify the principles being discussed here.
this is a timely read for me. I am the oldest of seven and this past month it became clear that mom and dad needed more care. My youngest sister has opened her home to them. They have moved in with her and seem content and happy. The packing of their home was a personal nightmare for me. My mother has always put more value on her possessions than her children. So when I read that inheritance was more than just monetary that resonates with me. What I have always felt and was made apparent to me is the fact that she can put monetary value on all her collectibles but gave no value or self worth to her children. So the lesson for me going forward is for my legacy to my children is that possessions don’t matter but happiness, health and self are all that is important to be successful in life
Interesting read. I’ve witnessed both the passing of my in laws and the mess my husband and his brother had to clean up. After retiring ten years ago, we’ve decided to downsize. Our four bedroom house plus 3 separate sheds were reduced to fit in a three bedroom villa with no storage space all. We started minimizing 6 months before we moved. We got rid of so much stuff that will help my children ease cleaning up when we pass.
In this day and age, don’t forget about your digital legacy/inheritance.
I have a few pieces that my son could use when he furnishes his first apartment. Same with some pots and pans and kitchen items. I want to just get rid of it all, but this could save him some money in the near future.
My family lost two grandparents and two parents in the last three years. Such amazing people. My unflappable mother deconstructed three households. So much stuff. She says the memories are the lightest to carry-
Thanks for the great post