“When walking, walk. When eating, eat.” —Zen Proverb
Recently, I became a full-time writer.
Since making the change, friends and acquaintances have asked often how I enjoy my new role in the world. I typically respond by saying, “Well, you know what they say… I hate writing, but I enjoy having written.” I’ll go on to describe the difficult and unsexy writing process. But then I’ll describe how wonderful it feels to finish something that will be read and will live on to be picked up by any person, anywhere, at any point in the future. It’s a wonderful feeling really. And the quote is actually a pretty good description of the process.
But there’s one problem with my response—it focuses all joy on the outcome rather than the journey. It finds fulfillment in the product, but not in the process. And this tendency to focus postively on the outcome while lamenting the journey is far too common.
We long for the house to be clean, but hate the steps to get there. We look forward to reaching a desired weight but suffer through the diet or the exercise. We desire the college degree, but despise the homework assignments along the way. We live for the weekend when our work will be done, but complain about the idea of Monday morning coming again so soon.
This approach of only appreciating joy in the outcome robs us of countless moments along the way. When joy is only found in the final product, the rest of our lives are experienced as something to be avoided, endured, or suffered through.
This approach has other short-sighted, negative effects:
- It discounts the role and importance of work and effort in our lives.
- It misses opportunity to celebrate the small steps we take along the way.
- It overlooks the value of exercising discipline.
- It fails to appreciate the value of discomfort in our growth.
There is a better way: Mindfulness. Mindfulness maintains a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, and surrounding environment. It does not delay joy until the finish line. Instead, it seeks meaning and intentionality throughout each step of the process.
I learned this practice when I first stopped using a dishwasher. While I used to view washing dishes as a chore to be dreaded, I suddenly began to view it as the final step in our meal and an act of service to my family. This new approach began to change the way I viewed this chore and many others.
For exercise, I run without music. As a result, because the distractions have been limited, I am better able to listen to my body. If it feels good, I am free to be alone with myself and my thoughts—not longing for the finish line, but finding joy in every step (or at least, most of them) along the way.
Mindfulness has also changed my view of work and employment. Work is no longer something to be avoided or removed as soon as possible. But work is about contribution. It is about adding value to society and the people around me in exchange for the value they are adding. And there is great joy to be found in it.
There is a Zen proverb quoted at the beginning of this post that often gets modified around my house. It starts to sound like this, “When washing the dishes, wash the dishes. When doing homework, do homework. When playing with your friends, play with your friends. When cleaning the bathroom, clean the bathroom.” Each time, it communicates the same meaning:
Recognize the importance and the joy in your present activity. Be mindful in every moment and each step of the journey. There is indeed great joy to be found in the process—not just in the outcome.
And that feels good to have written.
Jenny says
Thank you, your gift of writing and conveying meaning has once again made my weekend.
Minimal Girl says
What a great post, and congratulations on being a full-time writer for 45 days! I have recently become a full-time artist, and while I don’t love every minute of painting, it’s still pretty awesome.
Charmaine says
Great post – it feels good to have read it! :)
Funny about the dishwasher… though I always had one growing up, as an adult I never did until about two years ago. We bought if after our second child was born and doing the dishes fell to my husband (before we had usually done them together, chatting together as we did) and he felt like he was spending his life washing dishes! So he wanted one and so we got one. He’s now in charge of the dishwasher because I can’t stand the thing, heh. I think for us it has made our lives easier – at least he thinks it is easier than washing dishes by hand, and now I don’t have much to do with dishes it is certainly easier for me! :) But I look back at our dishwasher-free days fondly…
Linda @ Notes from the arena says
I first connected mindfulness with making pizza dough, of all things! enjoying the mixing of the dough, and then kneading it back and forth to make it extra elastic and springy. Focussed on the movements and the feel of the dough in my hands. I’d never swap that for a bread maker/mixer!
Marilene Hunzeker says
Thank you for the beautiful and wise words :) You are a great writer, I enjoyed reading every word. Have a wonderful weekend!
Walter says
I found something related here (the danger of multitasking). I used to multitask, but now I do it less often. I feel more focused and retain information more. My career is also more focused. http://bigthink.com/big-think-edge/may-i-have-your-partial-continuous-attention-please-the-dangers-of-multitasking-and-mental-stress
Willow says
If I could ‘like’ Christy’s comment, I would. I call myself a ‘process knitter’, more focused on the knitting than on the finished garment. I don’t mind ripping out an entire sleeve to make sure it fits the wearer–it’s the process that fascinates me.
Recently, I read a book about the Amish. The author wrote that she noted the women were unhurried in their household tasks, not racing to be finished with laundry just to go on to the next job. The men viewed their farm work to simply be a part of their life, not their ‘job’. This attitude reminded me to slow down, focus on what I was doing as a natural part of my life, whether it was driving to a meeting, teaching a class, or unloading the dishwasher.
Rachel May says
Wow – I just had this same feeling this week! I’ve been working on the Minimalist Game and it’s really helped me refocus my attention.
The biggest “enjoy the journey, not just the destination” example for me this week was knitting. I kept trying to knit, then I’d get flustered by the slow pace and not having as much progress as I’d like and give up (as a result, the build-up of unfinished items caused further stress). I started knitting a sock this week, appreciating this skill I have and really focusing on the beauty of the activity I was doing, the yarn, and how this activity affected me emotionally – it was so calming and centering. I’ve progressed further ahead than I had ever expected in a week as a result, but that’s just a pleasant addition to the joy it’s given me along the way.
Thank you for your writing – I look forward to the emails I get about new posts.
BrownVagabonder says
Ah, this is absolutely beautiful… The joys of the process as well as the end result. Travelling is a lot like that – after you have travelled, you look back and think, Wow, that was an amazing journey! You only remember the good parts, forgetting the hard times. But I would like to remember the journey as well as the end result. I want to be in the moment every day no matter what we are going through – be it the corruption of the police, or the sweet sounds at a jungle cabin. We are travelling for a year, so to stay in the moment gets even harder. Hopefully, little by little, like you, I can get to enjoying the process as much as the end.
Karen says
BrownVagabonder, my family has been living in Europe for almost three years and traveling every chance we get. We do a lot of road trips–fly somewhere then drive and drive and drive to see as much as possible. At first, the driving from one place to another was a part of the journey we were always wishing away…”I wish we could just be there, when are we going to GET there, etc.,” but the more we’ve traveled, the more the journey has become part of what we enjoy the most–despite some of the negatives that can arise in the confines of a small care, accepting and actually relishing the journey has made our travels so much more enjoyable. Safe and happy travels to you!
Michael Cox says
I have lately been depressed for various personal reasons I won’t get into here, but a book and a mindset which has helped greatly is “The Mindful Way Through Depression” by Mark Williams, et al, which includes a CD of guided meditations by Jon Kabat-Zinn. I’ve taken a mindfulness workshop as well–but then didn’t continue the practice. Once one gets into the habit, daily, of being mindful from time to time (and you don’t “fail” if you don’t maintain mindfulness–the awareness that you are not being mindful is, actually, a mindful act) relieves one of the awful spiral of negative self-talk which accompanies depression.
Angela says
Between Joshua’s post and your comment, my decision about embracing mindfulness into my life has been confirmed. I too live with depression and realize the need to be in the moment to decrease stress and the vicious cycle of negative thinking. Thank you!