Rather than trying to “keep up with the Joneses,” try to “keep up with the person you want to be.”
It is, almost certainly, different than the life the Joneses are living.
Society has an interesting affect on us. Too often, it calls us to conform. Think of the changing styles and how quickly the masses adopt them.
We follow the new fashions. We watch the same shows and movies and read the same books. We buy the same automobile styles. We conform to modern styles of furniture, countertops, decorations, and even appliances.
“Keeping up with the Joneses” is, by its very nature, a pursuit of conformity. We want what they have, or buy what others are talking about, or click-to-ship the same product everyone else is buying on Black Friday.
But one of the rarely mentioned side effects of conforming to the life that others are living (what we buy, how we spend our time, and what we desire to have) is the complete and total loss of individuality.
But deep down, do we even want those things? Do we even want to change our clothing styles? Or buy the new car… or boat… or bigger house in the gated community?
Or would we much prefer our own life and our own choices? Wouldn’t we much prefer to pursue our own values? Because almost certainly your values are different than the Joneses!
When we take control of our life and begin pursuing the life we want to live, we discover the best way to overcome envy and jealousy of others is to live a life consistent with our values.
When our time and money are spent on things we consider important, we find an inner peace and calm that allows us to experience sufficiency, regardless of how much others have (or how they spend it). When our resources are spent on pursuits that bring us fulfillment, we find fulfillment.
Will others have more? Absolutely. But when we are doing the best we can with the resources we have, it results in the confidence and peace that the Joneses have probably been chasing all along.
Live your life ignoring conformity. Pursue those things that bring you fulfillment and significance and meaning.
Rather than trying to “keep up with the Joneses,” try to “keep up with the person you want to be.”
You certainly won’t get there trying to live the Joneses’ life.
I like this very much. However, I find myself feeling like I need to keep up with the Minimalists and feeling judged because I have “clutter” but not because I spend a lot of time or money. I have inherited many things that I enjoy looking at but I feel pressured to update. Wood needs to be painted or distressed, grey and black, sleek and modern – just not homey for me. Perhaps in time people will again like lovely dishes and fine wood but I hope it will be before my kids have to empty my house. I picked up after them for at least 18 years, if they have to sort through my “clutter” for a few days then so be it. At least I won’t have to see it spread out on the lawn for 10 cent sale (which would be better) or hauled off in a dumpster (which would be worse)
Did you have to sort through your parents stuff?
In my 60’s now. Children have flown the nest with kids of their own. With a good medical practice still going strong of both my husband and me.. the temptation to buy stuff is always there… but learning from oneof your articles… whatever you own owns you back. I am still at it. Decluttering whatever is unnecessary and unwanted… keeping up with the Jonses well it was not there in our times if youth and we never got influenced by it later… it’s not the question of affordability but of necessity…. have nothing in your house that is not useful or beautiful (William Morris) …. of course it doesn’t apply to your significant other:)
It should apply double to your partner! lol Let’s hope you still find your significant other to be useful and beautiful or handsome. Or at least, as Red Green says, “If you can’t be handsome, at least be handy!”