“Your home is living space, not storage space.” —Francine Jay
Recently, the New York Times referred to our generation as the most stressed, tired, and rushed generation of all time.
“A Portrait of the Modern Family,” is how the author chose to title the article. She is, of course, correct. We are tired, stressed, and busy. In the article, the author cites a number of reasons why this is the case: public policy, workplace structure, unrealistic expectations, just to name a few.
Around the time that article was being published, a different kind of report was being produced, The 2014 U.S. Department of Commerce Report on New Housing, an annual study surveying the size and cost of new homes being built.
I couldn’t help but wonder if there might be a significant correlation between the two.
Certainly, there is a direct link with the number of possessions we own and the stress we experience. Every increased possession adds increased anxiety unto our lives. There is a direct relationship also with excess possessions and an overall lack of time, energy, and focus.
The 763-page study on the homes we live in confirms what most Becoming Minimalist readers already know to be true: We own too much stuff—and yet, rather than getting rid of it, we just build bigger homes to store it all.
Here are some findings from that 2014 report and other related sources:
- In 2014, the average size of new homes built increased to an all-time high of 2,690 square feet. In 2015, the average grew another 30 square feet to 2,720.
- While our houses have gotten bigger, our families have gotten smaller. Because of these two factors, since 1973, average living space per American person has doubled.
- The growth in square footage of new homes has wiped out nearly all the efficiency gains. In other words, though energy efficiency has developed rapidly, we’ve increased our home size to the point that we’re still using almost the exact same amount of energy.
- As would be expected, housing costs have risen alongside square footage. In the U.S., the existing home median sale price is $210,800 (up from $154,600 in January, 2012).
- Housing expenses, all totaled, accounted for more than 33% of the average consumer’s total expenditures during 2014.
- Renters aren’t doing much better. In fact, it’s the worst time in 36 years to be a renter in America. The median rent nationwide now takes up 30.2 percent of the median American’s income, the highest cost burden recorded since tracking began in 1979.
- Meanwhile, Americans aren’t even building the largest homes in the world. Australia holds that honor (they are even filming television shows about it). The U.S., Canada, Denmark, and France round out the top five for largest home sizes in the world.
Our homes continue to increase in size, cost, and responsibility. Our biggest investment has become an ever-increasing drain on our resources.
But this doesn’t need to be the case.
Your biggest investment also represents your greatest opportunity.
Consider the benefits of living in a smaller home: less expense, less worry, less upkeep—more time, more money, more freedom, and more opportunity.
When we first began pursuing minimalism, we made a lot of changes in our home. We removed the excess from every room in our house. But when we began removing entire rooms from our home, we started to experience even more significant benefits.
Four years ago, we intentionally decided to buy a smaller house. Our mortgage payments were sliced in half. Our insurance and taxes were also lowered. Our energy bills were slashed. Our ongoing repair and maintenance is a fraction of the expense it was before. And our cleaning responsibilities are noticeably easier.
Recently, I was asked by a friend how we are able to make ends meet financially while still doing a fair bit of traveling as a family. My answer immediately centered on our decision to minimize—not just our possessions, but our home as well.
“When the rest of the world was building bigger and bigger, we decided to buy smaller. And that decision has freed us to do many wonderful things.”
Choosing to buy a smaller house is a decision I have never regretted. Likely, neither will you.
Except that many of us couldn’t afford to buy a smaller home in the same area. I live in San Francisco, my house is about 2,000 square feet, and my mortgage is quite reasonable since I bought my place in 1992. Are you seriously telling me I should sell and turn around and buy something smaller and have a mortgage 8-10x what I pay now? Because that is what I would pay if I turned around and purchased a “smaller home” in San Francisco. The median home price here is probably 1 million$. That was the last time I checked, it’s probably higher now. I get offers in my mailbox to sell every. single. day. I could set my house on fire and it would sell before it burned completely to the ground. But I’m waiting until I’m older to sell and then maybe I’ll get a tiny house in northern CA or somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. Not right now. I love San Francisco.
But then I see you live in AZ. I’m sorry, I won’t live there, you’ve got voter suppression going on, outrageous gun laws, and redneck leaders.
Your house has also appreciated at the same rate, right?
All of the minimalism/simple living things I’ve read, including those from this site, have always advised to use your common sense. I think that would apply in this case. Of course, if it’s cheaper to stay in your home, you stay there. However, for many people across the US, it would be wise to consider downsizing. Certainly you can see that every bit of advise does not necessarily apply directly to every single person who visits this blog. As with everything, you take what you can and leave the rest. The basic ideas and concepts are still valid even if they are not always applicable exactly as stated to every reader. How great to get to live in such a beautiful city as San Francisco! Enjoy!
Common sense isn’t common
Exactly!
Exactly! Thank you Katie!
I love Arizona!
Yes, YOU move to a smaller house, that’s exactly what he’s saying. He meant it for every single person reading this blog, no matter their living situation, including YOU.
We chose a bigger house because it was cheaper than the smaller options. The opportunity always pops up.
I don’t think Jason is saying that. She could certainly minimize her posessions no matter where she lives. She might even rent out a room if she wants. I’m not in a position to go tiny house yet. But I plan on it when i can. Meanwhile I will live more intentionally, not buy what I don’t need, and keep my hubby who is not yet convinced. Should I divorce because of this? Maybe you would suggest it but no.
First of all, I come to this page to relax, talk to some people about making my life more fulfilling and to get inspired. I don’t come here to hear your political opinions or insults about an entire state and its leaders. Go to Twitter or Facebook to spout that nonsense.
I will also restate the obvious. Not every solution is right for every person. I think that is pretty straightforward, but maybe not?
I think that Joshua should possibly think about deleting certain posts that are not appropriate for this forum.
I want to read and comment on things that make my life simpler and more pleasant, but instead I read this post and my blood boils, the exact opposite of what this site is about. I will assume that this is just an outlier and won’t happen often
We could flag posts that are not appropriate for this forum. Something to think about, Joshua.
If you don’t agree, then move on for heaven’s sake. Just because you don’t agree doesn’t mean that others might not agree and find the post helpful. Who is to say what is or is not appropriate unless a post is flagrantly offensive, and this one is nowhere close to that.
Thank you!
Thank you Bob Pep! My sentiments exactly. I just discovered this site recently. Loving it! But I too do not appreciate the venomous off-subject prejudices and inappropriate stone throwing. It is sad. We may not all hold the same opinions or beliefs, but we should be able to carry on a meaningful, inspiring and respectful conversation about the joy of becoming a minimalist – making our lives simpler and richer in what really counts! I love gleaning from others, and it amazes me how often (not just on this site) people choose to go on a rant. Let’s stay on subject and have a conversation that we can all benefit from! Blessings!
Thanks Lisa, I almost didn’t post this because I didn’t want people to have to read my angry rant. I just work so hard at living a life free of anger and hate. I am not a minimalist (yet). Maybe a MIT (Minimalist in training) and this site and Joshua books are such a breath of fresh air and calming for me.
I love reading about other peoples thoughts and about their own personal journey towards a more satisfying and simple life. It is nice to know that so many others feel the same way that I do.
We are all a work in progress! You are so right. It is such an encouragement to know others are in the same boat, or at least, sharing the journey! I am a former pack rat (No shame here…I am far from where I used to be!) still learning to let go of the meaningless and take hold of the meaningful. I wish you the very best in your journey towards the beauty and freedom of simplicity!
Amen!
I agree, Bob!
Bob, I didn’t mean to jump off either but I can’t believe someone would post redneck Arizonans, and then someone else would say that wasn’t flagrant… This is a great site and these trolls need to be moderated so we don’t have to read prejudice remarks geared towards a People
Thank you Lisa!
San Fransisco is amazing. You are blessed to have such a great housing market. In your case I would hold on to your home too.
My home has been on the market for two years. I keep praying that someone will love it, as much as we did. Hold on to what you love.
You sound like a real downer. Maybe try uncluttering a few rooms, burning some incense, making a donation to a charity and meditating a bit. Good luck!
Kellan,
If your whole neighborhood has appreciated at the same rate, there’s **no freaking way** I’d ever sell when I have a mortgage that was taken out in 1992 dollars.
When you’re ready, find a good property management company to, ahhhh, manage your property…and *rent* your home in San Francisco. With an average rent being $7400/mo for 2000 square feet in August 2016, it’s almost a sure thing that the rental income will be a significant source of retirement income once you bail on SF for the PacNW…It’s not like rents have decreased in the SF Bay Area…ever. A base of $88,000/year sounds like a nice jumping off point for a life of fly fishing and microbrew drinking. I might even be tempted to start that right now, today, were I in your shoes. =)
The article is written for the majority of cases. Obviously your case is different so it doesn’t apply. Why are you so defensive? That’s the bigger issue. Enjoy your low mortgage 2000 sq foot home and realize you don’t fit the norm.
I assume that you read this article, because you are interested in downsizing. If living in your area is that expensive, what if you lent your big house to s.o. and rent a smaller and cheaper one which fits better into your life now. This could be a nice bargain on top of all the benefits mentioned in the article.
I painted my kitchen Saturday…a lighter, more uplifting color! I am so looking forward to doing a deep cleaning now and plan to let go of even more clutter. It gets easier and easier :) My kitchen looks great!!!
Went to the proverbial birthday party of a three year old grandchild over the last weekend. The young lad was adept at opening the pile of wrapped packages in short order. He finished the task and randomly chose one present to play with for about a minute. He then proceeded to return to what he was doing before the unwrapping session.
At this point, I looked around the room; there were stacks of existing toys, etc. piled against all 4 walls. Then I glanced in the next room, same story. The piled up toys had become part of the room, not really noticed, just like the furniture. What is the ever so generous mindset of the parents, grandparents??
They are seemingly normal hard working people, why are they oblivious to the wasteful excesses?
As a parent in that situation, it just sorta happens. You have a birthday party for your kid, and everyone brings presents. If you’re in the situation my wife and I are in, each of us have two sets of parents, almost doubling the present load. By the time of our 3rd and 4th kids, we learned, having fewer parties or replacing some of the parties with just little get-togethers without presents. It’s not always the intention of the parents or grandparents to be wasteful or spoil the kids.
My mother and I give my daughter money to put in an education fund for my grandson….here in Canada if the fund is registered, the govt puts in another 20%. I did the same for my kids (my parents would give a very small gift and money for the fund) and it was a big help when they went to university. My kids never had many toys but they played with what they had. My grandson isn’t two yet but has over $3000 for his studies with gifts from family and the govt funding.
We have the grandparents are spoiling the kids too problem. On one side we have the only grandchildren … You can imagine! I even told them not to buy video game stuff until I say. We have acres of land & I want my kids to enjoy outdoors. They still bought it. Now that my kids are older, I’m having them put toys games items in places in their room. This is my saying to them, which I heard from my OCD sister. “Every ‘thing’ has its place, there is a place for every ‘thing’ . If that ‘thing’ doesn’t have a place , then that ‘thing’ does not belong.” So if they have no room in their places, it goes to goodwill or sold to eBay. If they sell it they keep the money. IT DID NOT WORK WHEN THEY WERE YOUNGER. It’s just now catching on. When they were little, right before birthdays & CHRISTmas, I would have my husband take them for a weekend, I’d clean out what I figure they’d not miss. I keep it in boxes in the attic for 1 month, if they never asked for it it was gone. More room birthday & CHRISTmas. Good when they’re older to get them involved. I’m teaching them what I still haven’t learned! Shed things. I have a problem with old items family keepsakes. I’m the keeper of history. No one else in my family (siblings) care. Now that my nephew had a baby, I got to actually pass down some items. I figure as the other 20+ nieces & nephews have kids I’ll pass on things.. I hope they keep it to pass on. I knew if I didn’t keep things for my brothers & sisters kids, it would’ve been tossed. I couldn’t have children until science caught up & so I kept my nieces & nephews, kept things to pass down. I now have 3 of my own kids, 9, 10, 12… So it’s piled up. 2 storage sheds & an attic. This is why I’ve been training them. I didn’t learn life this way I do want them to.
My parents have paid for our kids to have swimming lessons each week since they were toddlers. At approx $40/week that has been a huge blessing rather than useless toys. And WOW American real estate is so cheap! The median price in Australia is $658k (aprox $500 US.
A friend of mine has three boys and they have a tradition of choosing a favourite charity and asking for donations instead of birthday gifts at their parties. This year her middle son, who has a love for animals, got to go to the shelter and meet the dog he had helped get an operation. He loved it so much!
That’s so true and inspiring to read, whilst all my peers are swapping their two/three beds for five/six bed houses, I’m left trying to not jump ship and sell my two bed flat that I love a lot. I don’t need all this space and it’s not worth trying to keep up with the Joneses!
This is definitely something I want to cover in my own journey to happiness because being able to focus on myself definitely means less belongings and less stress!
Helen (Eternalpursuitofhappiness.com)
I love how you used the word “intentional”. My husband and I had the opportunity to downsize and are jumping at it. It’s funny how it’s looked upon, as though something is wrong with not owning a huge home. This article sums it up perfectly.
Empty-Nester comment: We downsized when we retired, and we love our smaller house. We do our best to keep things in their places when they are not in use, so cleaning the whole house takes an amazingly short amount of time. We only need one vacuum cleaner, which we hardly every use because of the ease of quietly dust mopping all the bare flooring, and we don’t mind damp mopping once a week. When we lived in a two-story house we had two vacuum cleaners because the stairway was steep and hauling the machine from one level to the next was troublesome. We don’t need a new “networked” printer because just walking into another room if we need to print something with a laptop (we do not print much anymore) is so undemanding we do not even notice it. If something is briefly mislaid, we know that if it is in the house one of us will locate it right away because a thorough search takes less than five minutes. There are many charming houses in our neighborhood even smaller than ours. It helps to be within walking distance of the public library, an arts center, and the downtown area which has several good places to eat. We have close neighbors, but living in our small city has so many advantages and having close neighbors is not necessarily a disadvantage. If we ever have a visit from our distant relatives and they are too many for our small house to accommodate, there are several inexpensive lodging establishments nearby and we would find it easier and less expensive to pay the hotel bill than to spend the rest of our lives paying for additional floor space we hardly ever use.
Where do you live??? That sounds incredible.
If I were repeating my post-university life again, I’d be all over the tiny house trend. Wouldn’t work for my family situation today, but for the right place and right time, I think tiny houses are wonderful. As you note, there is a lot of space between tiny and gargantuan–maybe a more realistic aim is to move down the continuum away from gargantuan, if not all the way to tiny.
Great reminder! It is very difficult to get ahead when you have a huge mortgage weighing you down, and buying too big of a house is a mistake that so many people make. However, if you are willing to live a little bit different than what is “expected” when it comes to home size, you can come out way ahead!
when my husband and i decided to buy a home, we deliberately purchased one that was priced substantially below what we were approved for. our home is 923 sq.ft. it’s older (1920) and full of charm. yes it’s small – we adopted a zero-waste lifestyle, downsized our possessions tremendously, and will need to add a third bedroom once our boy and girl get older and want/need their own space – and we love it! we have a lovely yard, garden, chickens, big porch, tree to climb, and the rest of the great outdoors to play in. how big is our lot? 50′ x 99′ and very close to downtown to facilitate walking/biking to amenities.
we’ve never regretted not buying a larger house – i did ask the kiddos once about moving and they both wanted us to promise that we would never leave. i think that says it all.
I like open space in my home. If I use my closets as storage, (but only moderately filled), then I open up more space in my home for living.
Great post! I love reading your blog, I always get lots of inspiration. My family is actually in the process of doing exactly this, we’re downsizing our house to upsize our life. We have 3 children and live in the Toronto area in Canada. The housing market is crazy, so we’ve decided to take advantage and get to a more comfortable place financially. We have recently bought a smaller house about 15 mins further away from where we live now, the new place has more land and shared water-front. We’ll likely make approx. $300,000 by moving and we’ll be able to take our kids swimming on the lake in the summer. We will finally be able to save some money for retirement and not be so tight with finances. It will take some adjusting as I have become emotionally attached to our current home, the memories we’ve made here and it’s convenient location, but the pay-off in lifestyle is too big to turn down!
This is spot on. A lot of life is about your perspective. My husband recently lost his job and we could wallow in self pity, but we chose to rise to the challenge and cut as many expenses as possible to minimize the financial impact of a reduced income. It’s actually been rather fun, not to mention eye-opening, how much we spent and on what.
De-cluttering is my first priority. I see progress and that alone has my home appearing larger!
We plan to eventually downsize to a one story with three bedrooms ( and less formals) for when our children and their families visit.
Yes, in this instance, less will be more!
Yesterday we visited one of numerous bastis (a slum) in Karachi. The homes, tiny in size are so closely built together that alleyways between them are dark even in broad daylight. A group of friends and I had been invited to see the local school there which we have been helping out and despite the degree of poverty we witnessed we saw hope and drive. These people have to live with so many difficulties and are often deprived of items we take for granted, a clean environment, electricity, running water, education, yet they are a people living with purpose and determination. Puts life (and the importance of owning more and bigger and better stuff) into perspective.
I’ve been down sizing since February 2016. It has been the most freeing experience ever. The things I can do without. I’ve had the opportunity to live in another country off and on through my life. People live without so many things. They’re already minimalists. They have time everyday for quality of life. I’m almost done with my downsizing. Then I’ll be taking two hours each day for a special activity. This has been a wonderful change for me.
Hi Joshua! Yes! I write about this issue all the time and call it “rightsizing”. In fact I even wrote a book about it! If we take the time to realize how most of us have traded our precious time and resources just to “look good” with a big house I think we realize that it is a lousy deal. Good for you for continuing to remind us all that this is crazy! ~Kathy
Unfortunately builders build smaller and smaller houses and charge the same cost from year to year.
When I move this past summer I was able to downsize from a two bedroom apartment with a storage unit to a one bedroom apartment with a corner of the garage. As I unpacked I found plenty more make its way to the local thrift store.
That extra room so often became a dumping ground for “I’ll deal with it later” messes. I miss having a desk to make work from home easier but since I don’t do it as often as I expected, I can adjust. It makes life much easier to overcome my messy nature and make a quick pass through before bed and put everything in its place.
I’m so very glad I downsized.
Our house is 1040 sq ft. Three bedrooms upstairs and two rooms downstairs that could be turned into bedrooms. For the majority of our kids lives (3), they lived upstairs with the girls sharing. It wasn’t until middle school that the oldest wanted to move downstairs. I cringe when people say they need a bigger house. Usually it is more like clean out your stuff and your space will be fine. My husband grew up in the top half of a house less than 1000 sq ft for many years (4 kids shared one room) until the other family moved out of the basement. We only have one left at home (23) and are in the process of cleaning out our house. We moved into a fully furnished home, over the years we have replaced things, but there are things in the garage that I don’t think my husband has even looked at in the 25 years we have been in the house. Oh yeah it is time to clean house. It is very liberating I am finding and I don’t miss anything that I have gotten rid of so far.
After 18 months of decluttering our house, we (a family of 6) sold our 1550 square foot house and paid cash for our 921 square foot, 2 bedroom 1 bath, 1920’s bungalow. We moved to a smaller town, with a smaller school system, and less pressure to “keep up with the Jonses”.
We love it! Our kids (6, 4, 2, and 7 mos.) get along better, enjoy more creativity in their play, and spend more time outside. Cleaning the house takes less time and maintenance costs are much lower.
My husband got very ill and has not been able to work for the last 6 months. If it weren’t for our move, we would have sank financially. We absolutely love our minimalist journey and grateful for the many benefits that accompany it!
No matter what you still have to pay the bills in your big houses. And keep it filled with furniture.
Not only what matters how much is it worth but heating costs, electricity costs, commute costs. Or air-con bills :)
What attracts me to minimalism is that it enables my family to stay in our small home comfortably and the financial freedom that provides. It also means less to clean and tidy!
I just read this article to my 12 yo son. He found it very interesting. First economics class!!