The billboards, commercials, and emails will shout a simple premise today: Buy more stuff to live a happier life.
We’ll be promised deals on electronics to upgrade our life, sales on clothes to become more popular, and offers on appliances required to create the perfect home.
These advertisements will feature smiling children, happy families, and groups of friends enjoying the greatest holiday season ever.
There is no doubt the imagery all around us today (and for the coming month) will paint a picture of how much our life can improve by buying something new.
But today, rather than desiring all the things we don’t have, it would be wise to take a few moments imagining life without shopping.
Think of the possibilities…
Less shopping would mean less regret.
There are legitimate needs in our lives, of course. And sometimes we can find those items on sale. But most of the purchases made on Black Friday weekend have nothing to do with legitimate needs.
In fact, 42% of shoppers say they regret purchases made on Black Friday. No doubt because most purchases on Black Friday are impulse buys not based in necessity.
But look around your home, there are countless purchases and dollars spent we wish we could get back. That regret never shows up in commercials or billboards, we feel it only after we get home.
Less shopping means more time.
Everything we own requires time to purchase, manage, and care for. (And that doesn’t include the time needed to earn the money to buy it in the first place).
On average, Americans spend over 90 minutes per day shopping—that’s 11 hours/week.
Some shopping is required (groceries for example). But just imagine what life could look like with an extra 11 hours every week. Less rush, less stress, more margin, more time for the things you truly love.
Less shopping means more money.
According to some studies, the average American will spend $1,802 on total holiday spending this year with Millennials leading the way at $2,053/person.
(By the way, that statistic is based per person, not per family—so multiply accordingly for your household.)
And given that traditionally, 70% of Americans overspend their holiday budget, a life with less shopping today provides a more joyful and less stressful January for sure.
Less shopping means more attention on family.
One of the greatest deceptions propagated this time of year is that you need to buy a lot of stuff for your family to enjoy the holidays. It’s simply not true.
Stressed, tired, broke parents are not what children need for an enjoyable season. Just the opposite. They need parents present and involved in their lives.
Imagine how different our holiday seasons would look if we spent less time stressing about, shopping for, and wrapping up gifts from a department store and more time giving children our undivided attention instead.
Less shopping means a holiday season more focused on the right things.
Each of us will define the reason for the season differently. I’ll focus on my personal faith; you’ll focus on yours. Or you’ll choose to focus on family or gratitude or end-of-year reflection.
None of us will say the most important reason for the holiday season is consumerism. But many of us will inadvertently live like it is.
We’ll spend time hustling and bustling through online and physical stores. We’ll look closer at sales and advertisements. We’ll spend money on things we don’t need. We’ll stress about getting the perfect gift for the perfect someone. Even 77% of us will buy gifts for ourselves.
But every hour spent shopping and every dollar spent at the store is one less dollar and hour spent in remembrance for the deeper meaning of this holiday season.
Certainly, we’ll live a bit differently this time of year than the other 11 months—and for good reason. But let’s not let shopping overshadow the true meaning of the holidays.
Today, and over the coming months, we’ll be painted a glamorized picture of how shopping will improve our holiday season.
We should all slow down long enough—starting today— to imagine the inverse: a holiday season built on our own terms.
With less shopping, we can all enjoy a more intentional holiday season this coming year.
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Joshua, I totally agree with everything you said in this post. I have been trying to follow the “minimalist” lifestyle to bring more joy into my own life and household.
However I do often think of what things would look like if minimalist thinking caught on in a big way. Less spending means less inventory needed in stores or just less stores, less inventory means less manufacturing and less manufacturing means less jobs which creates unemployment and financial problems. But right now I’m with you and hope my measly contribution to minimalism does not effect the world much but brings me a less stressful more relaxing and less financially burdened Christmas season and life.
Thanks for your insights.
And thanks for your comment. Minimalism doesn’t mean less spending. Money will still get spent and economies will still grow. Money just gets spent on different things than physical possessions.
Black Friday seems to be a several week event now. We did take advantage of the chance to save money on things that we have to replace every six months, tennis and running shoes. But we’d never buy something we didn’t need just because it’s on sale.
While we never really took party in the black Friday frenzy (and I usually scope out what we need to get the best price for it, and if it’s black Friday, so be it), this year we were even more removed as we decided to travel as a family. We went to Italy (I know, very privileged), it was a trip of a lifetime to show our teenagers the incredible art and culture, and we all enjoyed it. We did not bring ANY souvenirs back but lots of beautiful memories – we had great meals, way too much coffee and gelato. The strangest thing, however was that stores in Italy now also “celebrate” black Friday, and it was indeed quite busy in the stores when we were walking through Napoli on Friday.
I, being Mexican, was brought up with two moments in a year where you go shopping to the US. It was a ‘bright moment’ as you return with what you needed when you came back, plus a nice holiday.
When I got married, my husband and I decided to give that token to more important things. We got married young (a privilege), and we didn’t had much money, which served the purpose of focusing on real and important things.
We decided to go to study and work overseas, trying to find answers for family topics that weren’t answered. That’s how my husband studied postgraduates degrees, masters and PhD on those matters… and we confirmed our theory of letting all of those habits of ‘buying happiness’ and turning into moments of the good and real happiness, shared now with our children.
Now I am a woman that no longer obey the ‘rules’ that have been imposed by dates, etc… moreover I feel free to use my mind and heart on really choosing what’s best.
I love your articles, and feel very identified.
Thank you, Carolina
It’s quite the dark spectacle: frenzied shoppers line up all night, then stampede into businesses, shove, argue, and even fight to be the first to buy some new gadget or fashion statement, even though it’ll all end up in the Goodwill or landfill by next year’s holiday discounts. No wonder it’s called “Black Friday.” Better to stay at home, enjoy a coffee, read a book, pet the cat, and delight in the quiet magic of the holiday season.
Yes John There is magic to this season, but it’s subtle and I have to quiet down with coffee and a cat to feel it!
Yesterday I enjoyed quality time with my family. I saw a sale from my favorite clothing store flash on my phone. There were a couple things I wanted and it was a good deal with free shipping. Oh how tempting! I would always jump on that in the past. But I remember the words you say in your YouTube. I thought “I’m having quality time with my family. I don’t want to waste this time by looking at my phone considering these deals.” Another thought came to my mind. “I wonder if I will actually regret it if I don’t buy this right now.” I decided to wait and see how I felt. I don’t even care about those clothes. I have what I need. What was so tempting is past and I’m thankful I waited and didn’t take the deal. I am proud I didn’t buy the new clothes. 🤣 I survived without the new clothes. And I don’t regret putting the phone down and just enjoying my family time. God has blessed me with many things and family time is my greatest blessing on earth. Thankful for your channel and the help you have given to shifting my mindset on the things I own.
Relentless
Advertisers and businesses are relentless in selling, upselling and data capture. I went to the periodontist recently; staff tried to upsell services and products four times. One can’t even have dental work done without someone else trying to get into a pocket book and add clutter to lives.
Thank you, Joshua, for relentlessly reminding me to seek simplicity and say, “…no…” to the bombardment of ads and upsells! Your 2022 Black Friday post is what I needed. I appreciate you and your staff.
We say….”Acquire only what you need, not what you greed.
This article reflects how important it is to celebrate the holidays without all the consumerism that is prevalent in our society. No Black Friday for my family either. Just peace and calm. Thank you so much for the reminder. I really enjoyed reading it.
Thank you for this article! I did fall into the shopping trap a bit this week. I enjoy doing a bit of shopping for my adult daughters and my husband at Christmas. But it’s easy to fall into the trap of clicking on emails for “AMAZING SALE”‘s and then waste time shopping for items I wouldn’t normally buy anyway.
I came across your newsletter buried in the many “sale alert” emails I was in the process of deleting. As always, your words brought calm to my mind reminding us why Becoming Minimalist is such a great approach to life.
Great article. Thanks
Your message just reiterated everything I’ve found comforting in choosing a peaceful unstressed Christmas. I have your article and keep it handy for discussion with non minimalists. It plants a seed for sure.
Thanks again
A few years ago, we stopped giving gifts to friends and family. Now, we use that budget to buy clothing and toys for children of low income families. This is so much more rewarding!
Last year, we did our first ever “no gifts” Christmas. Our son was getting exceedingly hard to find A gift for once he turned 16 because he had a part-time job. Last year, he was about to begin his 16 month co-op for college which sees him making a full-time wage and so we just asked, “Does anyone want to exchange gifts?” We all said no because if we need something, the need is usually urgent so cannot wait.
Thank you for this great article. I wish everyone out there shopping for happiness( basically) could read it and take it to heart.
A couple friends and I “shop” in our houses. We all decided we have more than we need so as we declutter if we come across something the other might like or mentioned looking for, aha, their present has been “purchased”. And no hard feelings if thr “gift” is no where to be seen because it was donated.
Thank you for the most needed reminder of what the holidays are all about. I gently look upon Black Fridays as an interruption of peaceful mind and have not made purchases for many years. This year I especially want to feel the peace after my dear brother died unexpectedly in a car accident in July. Life is too short. Things do nothing to ease the Soul.
Belina,
my heart goes to you this is a sad time to live a loss.
Surviving a crash can leave scar and becoming indifferent to what to expect next. I know it for myself getting into this much trouble at the end of the year
You need all the care you need to want to regain your stamina, and the strength.
But life goes on.
It is definitely not to be on my list to do at all. Black Friday is a day to stay home and away from the waiting in line and crowds, although it is no longer as it was.
Instead I enjoy some quiet time when my folks or away for weeks with buddies and plan for the B-days and xMas is best.
Belina,
my heart goes to you this is a sad time to live a loss.
Surviving a crash can leave scar and becoming indifferent to what to expect next. I know it for myself getting into this much trouble at the end of the year
You need all the care you need to want to regain your stamina, and the strength.
But life goes on.
It is definitely not to be on my list to do at all. Black Friday is a day to stay home and away from the waiting in line and crowds, although it is no longer as it was.
Instead I enjoy some quiet time when my folks or away for weeks with buddies and plan for the B-days and xMas is best.
I just loved this article. It´s very thoughtful and I believe at the end of the day it isn´t about not shopping at all, but it´s about meaningful shopping and trying to be loyal to our budgets, having peace of mind and gifting the most important which is time.