This week, Vermont became the 26th state in the USA to outlaw texting while driving.
All of these laws are based on a simple premise: texting dramatically reduces drivers’ reaction time. Texting redirects our eyes and our attention. If only for a moment, it distracts us from the present reality of the road in front of us and transports us elsewhere. Obviously, this can be dangerous when driving.
But what about the rest of life? If texting removes us from the present reality of driving, doesn’t it have the potential to remove us from the present reality of any of life’s moments? Life is to be lived in the present with our heads up soaking in as much as we can… not with our head down transported away from our current situation. To that end, consider the positive impact on your life of texting less and living more in the present.
Give yourself permission to keep text messages from stealing your life:
- Give yourself permission to… not carry your cell phone at all times. Just put it away – out of earshot. There are moments in life that are far too important to be distracted from them by a text message. For example, I rarely carry my cell phone around the house when my kids are home. My responsibility to give them my undivided attention is more important to me than ANY incoming phone call or text message.
- Give yourself permission to… not answer every text message the moment you receive it. You don’t answer every incoming email the moment you receive it. You don’t answer every phone call the moment you receive it (especially when engaged in an activity of higher priority). In the same way, you don’t need to answer every text message the moment you receive it. There are very few people in your life who should have unrestricted access to your attention. And most of the people texting you, aren’t them.
- Give yourself permission to… never answer a text in the middle of a conversation with another person. At that point, it’s not just distracting you from the relationship right in front of you – it’s sacrificing any trust and goodwill that you have tried to build with the other person. Your actions have indicated how much you value that relationship to a far greater extent than any words that come out of your mouth.
- Give yourself permission to… not believe the myth of multi-tasking. I don’t believe the myth. You may be an exception… but I would point to distracted driving laws as proof for my side of the argument. Single tasking has been proven to be more efficient. “But I’m good at mutli-tasking” is just an excuse that people use so that they can text any time they want. Don’t believe the hype. Instead, keep your mind focused on the life right in front of you.
- Give yourself permission to… return their text message with a phone call. Texting can be very efficient. It can eliminate small talk, waiting for the person to answer, or going to a computer to send an email. But once a text conversation reaches more than 3 texts back-and-forth, it is has lost all efficiency. It could have been handled easier with a simple phone call. My general rule of thumb is if I receive a text that requires a longer response than one text message, I dial the number and handle it the old-fashioned way.
- Give yourself permission to… conduct important conversations over the phone or in person. The medium is the message. Conversations based on relationships, important business, or bad news come across as flippant when conducted via text. They should always be handled over the phone or better yet, in person.
Just to be clear, I’m not against texting. It can be very efficient and helpful. But just like everything else, left unchecked, it has the potential to steal your life right out of the palm of your hand. And I am definitely against that.
Ari Herzog says
Many thanks for this article — and the link to Steve Lohr’s NYT piece. You just inspired me to write a blog comment in response, for I couldn’t agree stronger on why I enjoy the freedom of leaving my BlackBerry in my apartment when walking outside.
Melissa says
This weekend I took a couple days vacation to attend a friends wedding. I let my phone’s battery die. My charger was in my bag, but I didn’t pull it out. I simply let it be silent. It was wonderful.
Michael Michalowski says
What a nice coincidence!
I shut my phone for about a week now and feel much more free than before. I don’t really know why, but everytime there was a “gap” between two tasks, instead of relaxing or doing nothing and embracing the present moment, I grabbed my phone and texted someone. It is really an attention grabber, removing your focus from the present.
Your conversations become more meaningless, less special. You talk about anything unimportant and sometimes feel even annoyed by getting a message in the wrong moment. That’s not how I want to communicate with my friends..
It felt great to shut the phone off, but I will turn it on soon again. At least I think so. I just realized that I could leave it more often alone than before. This improves the joy of my life enormously.
Try it!
Todd Schnick says
this notion of multi-tasking is pure crap. it is what distracts and negatively impacts me the most. and this is what i focus on when i think about minimalism. the ability to focus, on the task right before me. and nothing else.
Fergie says
I’ve never had internet on my phone (saves money) and earlier this year I got rid of my texting plan. I never used it much in the first place, but I decided I wanted to talk to people instead of text them. Being plugged-in all the time is not my idea of simplicity.
Trudy G says
Like all things it requires balance. There’s a time to text and a time not to. Your article points that out nicely.
Gip @ So Much More says
I’m glad I never jumped on the texting bandwagon. Maybe I’m a couple of years too old to have been conditioned with it since birth. I do always carry my cell phone, even when I’m outside my own house.
My mother always runs to answer the phone when it rings, but I don’t bother. A phone call — like a text — is an invitation to a conversation, not a call to a command performance.
Ed Burns says
Something I learned about was “batching” my emails and texts. I only read emails and texts on certain hours of the day. If something is that important, they will call me.
Courtney Carver says
I love when I forget my cell phone at home. I feel so light and un-obligated when my phone/text/email device isn’t near by.
Jodz says
I live in New Zealand and this year using a cell phone while driving was banned. I personally dont do heaps of texting.