Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Linda Sand.
My husband and I followed the traditional path to the American Dream. As our income increased, so did the size of our home. At one point, three of us lived in a four-bedroom house with both living room and family room as well as an amusement room and three baths.
We started out as a young couple with cheap, mostly particle board furniture. But we added to it. Then we upgraded until we had a house full of mostly teak furniture of Scandinavian design, supplemented by oak furniture and barrister bookcases.
It was way more house than we needed, even though it didn’t seem too big at the time.
After our daughter left home, we moved into a few smaller houses and then we retired. At that point, we decided to move into a motorhome to facilitate roaming around this great country, seeing the sights and enjoying their historical significance.
We sold nearly everything we owned including our house and both cars. The little bit we kept fit into a small 5′ x 5′ storeroom.
And then we traveled the countryside. Gettysburg in July is hot—I felt sorry for the soldiers who fought there wearing wool uniforms. We watched people demonstrate things like bread baking by a fire, making ropes, or building wooden boats—all those things were a fun way to learn about our country’s history.
We traveled through all of the 48 contiguous states, stopping at museums, National Parks and Monuments, living history sites, and places where we could enjoy nature.
We traveled for several years… until we decided the community we left behind was more important to us that the sights we were seeing. Yes, experiences are a great way to learn and build memories, but relationships need maintenance to be healthy and we’d been neglecting our community for too long.
We sold the motorhome and moved back home—into an apartment rather than a house. We felt freed from the need to maintain a house and we’d become used to not having a lot of space.
Somewhere along the way, we’d become used to not having the “best” furniture. So, we thought intentionally about what we actually needed in our new apartment and ordered it from IKEA to be delivered. It was the easiest move we ever made!
A one-bedroom apartment is plenty of room for us and our new furniture is particle board once again. But that works for us. We could live differently, but there’s nothing about our current living situation we want to change. This time, we chose it.
It’s taken a lot of years and we’ve covered a lot of miles, but we’ve come to realize we don’t need much and there are more important things in life than constantly needing to upgrade the size of our home or the quality of our furniture.
Minimalism is a lifestyle that is growing among all age groups—including mine.
I know nobody gets to go back and start life over again. But here are some of the most important lessons I have learned. Maybe someone younger can learn from us:
Housing: The first house we bought was small. Just barely big enough for three of us. As the years went on, like I mentioned, we bought larger and larger houses, and fancier furnishings, and more vehicles as we attempted to reach the American Dream. Now we are retired and living in a small one-bedroom apartment with one small car. And we are happier here than we were in any of those bigger houses. It brings us joy to live with just what we actually use.
Education: Neither my husband or I went to college right out of high school. Eventually, we realized not having a degree was going to limit our career options, so my husband used his GI benefits to go to college. He worked full time and went to school half time for eight years. We saw little of each other during those years, but they led him to a career change into a field where he actually enjoyed working and where he made good money. If he had tried college right after high school, he would not have discovered his career (it wasn’t even a thing yet). Sometimes, postponing your education can be a good thing. There are plenty of non-traditional routes to a fulfilling life.
Finances: We have enough money to live well now, but that was not always the case. Discharged from the army with a three month old baby meant taking a pay cut of nearly fifty percent. We quickly learned we did not need to buy clothes—except for the growing baby… but she didn’t mind her clothes coming from a thrift shop. We learned how to eat well on cheap foods. We learned how to have fun with friends and family without a lot of expense. And, even though we can afford more now, we still have few clothes and prefer cheap entertainment. We do appreciate being able to support public television now after those early years of our daughter watching Sesame Street, Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood, etc. Being able to give back now in gratitude for all those who gave when we couldn’t is wonderful!
Travel: For many years, we were campers—vacationing in tents, trailers, motorhomes, and conversion vans. We even lived in a motorhome full time for three years as we explored this great country. We took ocean cruises. We traveled through Europe and England. Traveling broadens your perspective. For one thing, you realize there are many ways to live and all of them are right for someone. But, I must say, nothing beats coming back home to friends and family!
Parenting: We raised our daughter to think that different was good and that following the crowd was seldom rewarding. She resented us at times for not being as materialistic as her friends’ families were. But learning to follow her own path led her to a job that is right for her. And now she is happy to have learned to be herself. I’m proud of the lessons she learned—even though they were difficult to teach at times.
So what about you? Who are you really and what would make you happy? Probably not materialism.
Minimalism may help you discover what’s really important to you and how you’d prefer to live your life. And then, it will give you the time and money to do those things.
We’ve learned that to be true in our life—and it can be true in yours as well.
Marla Beck says
Thank you for this beautiful, helpful post. I appreciate your hard-won lessons, and am inspired that in later life you are embracing simplicity, relationships and connection!
Hope to hear more from writers like you. Your perspective is valuable and needed.
Linda Sand says
Thank you. I appreciate your support.
Kevin Kish says
I just finished talking with my 89 year old Mom about my life’s direction. Then I read your article. It was like an answer to prayer. I am moving back to my old city neighborhood of 28 years and use what the city has to offer. Thanks for your insight. I can’t wait to start!!!
Linda Sand says
I’m glad you found your own new path. I wish you well as you travel it.
Phyllis says
Thank you, Linda, for your inspiring words of wisdom and encouragement for those of us who are also in the process of realizing “less is more”. I just turned 66 and my husband is 73. We’re getting ready to list our “dream home” for sale and with no regrets. We will live in a 55 & above community with a much smaller cottage that we won’t own, much less furniture and stuff, and an emphasis on supporting other seniors while having more time to volunteer in our community. We look forward to this new stage of our lives as a new adventure and are grateful we realized sooner rather than later that this is the best path for us … I am happy to see that others are realizing it too!
Anita says
This is what I’m looking forward to doing as soon as I can get my husband on board. We’re 66 and 65 and he says he doesn’t want to live with a bunch of “old people”. I keep telling him that we are those old people in terms of age but OLD can also be a mindset. I’m looking forward to the low maintenance outside. Hubby is disabled so it’s a bit much for me.
Phyllis says
Keep persevering in your message, Anita. It took me awhile to get my husband on board as well (he just recently started to admit he is a “senior”); but now he’s excited and sharing with everyone how “everything is falling into place” and how much we are looking forward to this change. Take care and best wishes on this journey …
Jeannie says
Men seem to have a much harder time with the thought of aging then we women do – just my observation. I am 66 and hubby is 71. A couple years ago he finally got on board and now loves living in our small minimalist condo. It’s not an over 55 community but most here are well over that age. Fun, friendly people! If your hubby can’t do yard work and maintenance then it’s past time to get rid of the house and yard and focus on the things you enjoy. It’s too stressful for you to keep up with it. Maybe help him to see things from your perspective?
Linda Sand says
We live here: https://www.trilliumwoodslcs.com. This is a very active community with pretty much everything you could want all under one roof. See if you can get him to look at the photos and videos to see what us “old” people look like.
LMS says
Less stuff doesn’t mean crappier stuff. I’m glad this worked for the author but I’m continually frustrated seeing minimalist articles that confuse the concept of fewer items with downgrading. In the long run, quality outlasts fast anything, be it furniture or fashion.
Donna Johnson says
We’re trying to focus on quality and not quantity. I think I understand your frustration. Some things I read (this guest author’s post not included) about minimalism seem to be more about Socialism and not about owning less to be able to spend more time and make better connections to people.
Donna Johnson says
I replied to this and saw a message that my reply was being reviewed. For my future reference, would you tell me why my reply wasn’t allowed to be posted? Thank you!
Mari R says
I agree that quality is important. This is what happened in our home. Years ago we bought two pieces of cheapest bookshelves which immediately started sagging by the weight of books. We ended up ‘upgrading’ to ones from IKEA.
Linda Sand says
LMS, Please, see my answer to Laura above. The thing about minimalism is we each get to decide what is right for us. Part of what I am saying is that what is right can change with age.
Laura says
To clarify, I wasn’t trying to preach a particular form of minimalism. Each person decides what is best and what to do with their time, money, etc. Each life stage is of course different. I don’t imagine what I find useful materially now will always be the same. My only real point was for some readers, upgrading to nice furniture isn’t necessarily an upgrade for the sake of society’s pressure to upgrade. Sometimes we use our money to caste a vote (better products available to more people in the marketplace, supporting companies that provide better workplaces, more sustainable products and less fast fashion/HomeGoods/etc ). It was just a different viewpoint but not a prescription.
Anonymous says
We are 40 (me) and 39, with kids ages 6, 9 and 12. We have seen a lot of our friends upsizing, but also many friends who live in a similar age (45) of house, similar types of furniture (unfinished wood that we finished, augmented by IKEA and estate sales). Much different from either of our parents. My inlaws said IKEA is not their style. They have rooms that aren’t usable due to stuff, yet they want us to visit all the time. I’d rather save for my kids’ college and our retirement and pay for their swimming classes than pay for the teak furniture. I could see my life story panning out like the author’s. She seems satisfied and happy, and what more could one ask for?!
Linda Sand says
Yes, satisfied and happy. Thank you for understanding.
Katharina Stoll says
Thank you for sharing your story and your experience, Linda. It truly feels like you’ve made your personal dream come true instead of chasing someone else’s!
Laura says
Couldn’t agree more about downsizing. As a minimalist I have been upgrading to higher quality items when they do need replacing. Yes, more inexpensive options are available. But I enjoy spending my money on quality items from American manufacturers that will last a lifetime instead of needing to replace inexpensive items over and over again.
Linda Sand says
Since I am 72 now how much longer will my things need to last? If we were younger we’d buy better quality things but at our age…? Buying cheap stuff to have money for health concerns feels right for us now.
Jill Foley says
Linda, I love reading about your life experiences. I’m grateful you had an opportunity to share here.
Linda Sand says
Thanks. I enjoy your blog, too.
Torrie @ To Love and To Learn says
Thanks for your insights and perspective! For now, our 1,900 square foot house seems like a great size for a growing family (I’m expecting my third), but I could see us definitely downsizing in the future—less house to clean :) It is nice having a little more room for the kids to run around though, now that they’re small (and especially in the winter, when it’s harder to get out). It’s all about balance.
But fewer possessions? That is something that I can live with at ANY stage of life :)
Some great thoughts in this! Thanks!
Linda Sand says
It seems to me that many families are deciding they don’t need as much space now that they have figured out their kids don’t need so many toys. But, I live in Minnesota so I understand needing inside space for kids to play. When we were kids one of our favorite indoor games was sardines. If you are not familiar with it Google will find it.
Kathy H-G says
Sardines, yes! My kids played this at every church group sleepover. They loved it!
Anya says
I love this. :) Thank you for the advice from all your experiences.
Linda Sand says
You’re welcome. I love how this word is spreading to everyone.
Betsy says
Linda, thank you for this. I’m almost 70 and sometimes I look back over the things that I HAD to have and ask myself why I felt that way. It’s been a long life lesson as to what makes me feel blessed. It’s the people I love and the friends I cherish. Minimalism has added so much to my life. By subtracting stuff I’ve made room for things I really enjoy like long walks with my husband, a good cup of tea with friends or a great book. All the points you made are so true.
Linda Sand says
Isn’t it nice to have reached an age where we don’t let others choose what’s right for us anymore? I love it that so many folks are realizing this at much younger ages.
Amy says
i just came across your post and wanted to say that I am with you on this. On a personal level, it just feel right to have less people around you to relate to. Introvert are better off being by themselves. It is just easier to go through the day with no arguments, big talk or fuss about little thing, that in 5 years from now would mean nothing. To me, moving out on my own makes me feel isolated although I know that those conflicts won’t happen so frequently. I am flexible and suddenly when the time comes, it just makes me feels so upset that I can’t have some control over those talks. It is always the other person fault, just arguing and yelling, with more wrongs than rights. Connecting to people become harder for me and I know in my heart that I do have love for people and want to stay in, it is just more work, and exhausting that I thought it is. It is just not possible to think that it is a blessing to have people around you to care for. And no, the first word that comes out is yelling, arguing, complaining, losing control, and just bare with the pain. What would it be like in ten years from now? To me, I am hoping that the conflicting issue will be resolved, and lightening, it just so sad when I remember how my husband only act in not in an understanding manner. Like saying, well, the only thing we could do it to move the table and that would resolve the issue. I remember the first time we look at each other in the eye in a mean way and show how much we dislike arguing but just do. No, it is all about blaming other. So living on less and more peace that’s less to regret in few more years. Lonely or happily alone, it is just something that is not for you to chose. What would define a live with less for aging people like us doing the best to stay away from isolated nursing home, loneliness, missing family, relatives, who would do their best to forget your existence. Aging, and living with less, for less, and much happier, just stay at your best and health. It is not about age, or being younger, it is to have the patience and wisdom with age.
CrookkyToffy says
Sounds like someone is feeling crummy. Take it easy and lightly!!
Irene says
Wonderful story. I wish I could get my nearly 70 year old husband into minimalism. We have downsized, which is a plus. However, his wardrobes are bursting with clothes he never and will never wear again. Not to mention our garage full of stuff we no longer need…… I sometimes manage to get rid of small things which he doesn’t even notice have gone. I follow minimalism myself and have been doing so for past 3/4 years. Wish I’d done it earlier.