Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Linda Sand.
My husband and I followed the traditional path to the American Dream. As our income increased, so did the size of our home. At one point, three of us lived in a four-bedroom house with both living room and family room as well as an amusement room and three baths.
We started out as a young couple with cheap, mostly particle board furniture. But we added to it. Then we upgraded until we had a house full of mostly teak furniture of Scandinavian design, supplemented by oak furniture and barrister bookcases.
It was way more house than we needed, even though it didn’t seem too big at the time.
After our daughter left home, we moved into a few smaller houses and then we retired. At that point, we decided to move into a motorhome to facilitate roaming around this great country, seeing the sights and enjoying their historical significance.
We sold nearly everything we owned including our house and both cars. The little bit we kept fit into a small 5′ x 5′ storeroom.
And then we traveled the countryside. Gettysburg in July is hot—I felt sorry for the soldiers who fought there wearing wool uniforms. We watched people demonstrate things like bread baking by a fire, making ropes, or building wooden boats—all those things were a fun way to learn about our country’s history.
We traveled through all of the 48 contiguous states, stopping at museums, National Parks and Monuments, living history sites, and places where we could enjoy nature.
We traveled for several years… until we decided the community we left behind was more important to us that the sights we were seeing. Yes, experiences are a great way to learn and build memories, but relationships need maintenance to be healthy and we’d been neglecting our community for too long.
We sold the motorhome and moved back home—into an apartment rather than a house. We felt freed from the need to maintain a house and we’d become used to not having a lot of space.
Somewhere along the way, we’d become used to not having the “best” furniture. So, we thought intentionally about what we actually needed in our new apartment and ordered it from IKEA to be delivered. It was the easiest move we ever made!
A one-bedroom apartment is plenty of room for us and our new furniture is particle board once again. But that works for us. We could live differently, but there’s nothing about our current living situation we want to change. This time, we chose it.
It’s taken a lot of years and we’ve covered a lot of miles, but we’ve come to realize we don’t need much and there are more important things in life than constantly needing to upgrade the size of our home or the quality of our furniture.
Minimalism is a lifestyle that is growing among all age groups—including mine.
I know nobody gets to go back and start life over again. But here are some of the most important lessons I have learned. Maybe someone younger can learn from us:
Housing: The first house we bought was small. Just barely big enough for three of us. As the years went on, like I mentioned, we bought larger and larger houses, and fancier furnishings, and more vehicles as we attempted to reach the American Dream. Now we are retired and living in a small one-bedroom apartment with one small car. And we are happier here than we were in any of those bigger houses. It brings us joy to live with just what we actually use.
Education: Neither my husband or I went to college right out of high school. Eventually, we realized not having a degree was going to limit our career options, so my husband used his GI benefits to go to college. He worked full time and went to school half time for eight years. We saw little of each other during those years, but they led him to a career change into a field where he actually enjoyed working and where he made good money. If he had tried college right after high school, he would not have discovered his career (it wasn’t even a thing yet). Sometimes, postponing your education can be a good thing. There are plenty of non-traditional routes to a fulfilling life.
Finances: We have enough money to live well now, but that was not always the case. Discharged from the army with a three month old baby meant taking a pay cut of nearly fifty percent. We quickly learned we did not need to buy clothes—except for the growing baby… but she didn’t mind her clothes coming from a thrift shop. We learned how to eat well on cheap foods. We learned how to have fun with friends and family without a lot of expense. And, even though we can afford more now, we still have few clothes and prefer cheap entertainment. We do appreciate being able to support public television now after those early years of our daughter watching Sesame Street, Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood, etc. Being able to give back now in gratitude for all those who gave when we couldn’t is wonderful!
Travel: For many years, we were campers—vacationing in tents, trailers, motorhomes, and conversion vans. We even lived in a motorhome full time for three years as we explored this great country. We took ocean cruises. We traveled through Europe and England. Traveling broadens your perspective. For one thing, you realize there are many ways to live and all of them are right for someone. But, I must say, nothing beats coming back home to friends and family!
Parenting: We raised our daughter to think that different was good and that following the crowd was seldom rewarding. She resented us at times for not being as materialistic as her friends’ families were. But learning to follow her own path led her to a job that is right for her. And now she is happy to have learned to be herself. I’m proud of the lessons she learned—even though they were difficult to teach at times.
So what about you? Who are you really and what would make you happy? Probably not materialism.
Minimalism may help you discover what’s really important to you and how you’d prefer to live your life. And then, it will give you the time and money to do those things.
We’ve learned that to be true in our life—and it can be true in yours as well.
Jennie Murphy says
Linda, I was so happy to read your article. I’m also 70 and my husband 73. We have down sized to an 1100 2 bedroom townhouse and love it. More than 10 years ago I came across a book by Elaine St. James called Simplify Your Life. I re-read it at least once a year to keep my priorities in focus. As she says, “The secret to happiness is not in getting more but in wanting less.”
Christine Rademan says
Thank you for suggesting reviewing our priorities once a year and suggesting Elaine St. James’ book as a motivator, Jennie. That’s a wonderful idea! P.S. I’ve just requested Simplify Your Life.
Janice H says
I loved that book and still have it. We sold our house this year and downsized to an apt half that size and love it. We feel so much lighter now.
betts says
One of the best texts I have read here. Heartfelt and real! Bravo!
Ann C says
I’m in the same position as Ramsey. Was left my parents home and contents! My brothers and their families took what they wanted but I had my own home to empty and move into my folks’ place. But I don’t want to leave this much for my daughter to deal with. Joshua’s book helped me get motivated and reading posts like Linda’s keeps me going. I’ve always been a big believer in knowing the difference between want and need. There’s not much I need so I need to work on my wants.
Ramsey Graham says
Over the past few years, my older parents passed away. So the challenge of “what to do with their stuff” was something my siblings and I had to take on. My mother still had boxes from when she moved her mother into a nursing home…. My goal and motto is to Downsize and simplify for my two daughters. I don’t want to leave them with “junk and stuff”. They are VERY supportive and understanding of my moving to a less cluttered life. I held onto a piano for my older daughter (now 25) because she was the only one who played. Through this process she let it go to the little girl next door. Who is taking lessons and loving it! I am modeling the behavior it is more important to connect with People and have good experiences, the collect more stuff.
Irene says
Wonderful story. I wish I could get my nearly 70 year old husband into minimalism. We have downsized, which is a plus. However, his wardrobes are bursting with clothes he never and will never wear again. Not to mention our garage full of stuff we no longer need…… I sometimes manage to get rid of small things which he doesn’t even notice have gone. I follow minimalism myself and have been doing so for past 3/4 years. Wish I’d done it earlier.
Mari R says
I have a tip for getting rid off husband’s possessions he doesn’t need but doesn’t want to part with.
First remove the item from the closet/garage to a hidden place of the house. Wait for six months to a year. If he doesn’t notice, bring it to a donation. So far it’s been working for us (me). The key is a few items at a time.
Glenna Veneberg says
I couldn’t agree with you more, Linda. We just sold our condo and are moving to our 750 sq. ft cabin in the woods! We’ve worked on the cabin the last 13 yrs and have made it our own. We are both 68, finally able to say the “hell” with what society dictates. Feels so good!! We’ll have all we need plus a beautiful view of nature. Doesn’t get any better than that!
Eric Owens says
My takeaway from reading this was that life is a journey of learning what you want along the way, and that it’s okay to change course and want something different after a while. Great writing, thanks for sharing your story for us to learn from.
Kyung Yi says
Thank you for sharing…
Had many plans, now i’ll have to revisit my plans and take some off of my bucket list and start enjoying what i got in my hands.
Linda Thorsen says
Wonderful encapsulation of the circle of life and its growing pains. Thank you so much! I have ‘bought into’ ;) this lifestyle hook, line and sinker. It’s freeing. Bless you and yours, Linda
PEPPER MINTZ says
Loved this article! At 58 and disabled and living very small, I’ve just realized that I am sitting on a huge amount of equity in my home that I consider too large for just me and the cats (1300 sq feet and a 2 car detached garage). I am tired of maintaining the yard and worrying about home repairs and how much insurance and taxes will be on my home. I’m looking at my options. In fact, have a buyer coming over today to make an offer on my home!
I’m going through things and getting rid of them and also shutting down rooms and closets completely to get ready to live in a much smaller space.
I am fortunate that the beautiful local no kill shelter where I volunteer at is willing to give a life home to many of my cats and even more fortunate that I will be able to make a substantial donation for their life care with the sale of my home.
Working with lawyers right now on getting all my legal things in order for my death and possible long term care needs also. Medicaid planning is a real thing!
Best to everyone who is in their golden years who have the courage to look at their options and take action to live a different life and thrive.
Nan says
Thank you for your perspective on this. I am 56 years old and looking at what my life might be like in 20 years. I figure if I plan now, it will be easier than later. I would hate to think “Why didn’t I do this 5, 10, or 20 years ago?” As a result of living a life with “just enough ” I was able to retire at 53. Now I fill my time doing what I want to do. I fill my days with volunteering, taking care omy health, and tending to my most important relationships. I’m getting ready to downsize my home and freeing myself from even more “stuff” and having more adventures.
Every day I wake up with a sense of gratitude!
This author is my role model. I want to grow up and be just like her.
Maithong Yang-Perez says
Thanks for sharing…I’m also inspired by the author as well as you.