Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Faith Janes of Minimalist at Home.
As a mom, minimalism originally seemed an unobtainable goal. I thought minimalists either traveled the globe with a single backpack of belongings or had a home with a futon and a single vase on a table…if they even had a table. That kind of minimalism works for some people and I think that’s cool. That kind of freedom must be really empowering. But for me, I have these needy little people running around my house that make it abundantly clear that kind of minimalism isn’t coming to live at my house.
Can minimalism really be applied to a family with kids? Sometimes we jump to conclusions that talk us out of starting. Let’s start with what mommy minimalism doesn’t need to look like.
Mommy Minimalism is Not:
- Throwing out all the family photos
- Selling your television, your car, and your couch
- Owning just one pair of shoes and three interchangeable black outfits.
- Getting rid of all the toys in the house (even though we’ve all been tempted)
- Getting rid of all the children in the house (just kidding, but I’ve still been tempted a few times)
When I dove deeper into minimalism and saw the many different ways people were applying minimalism to their lives, I was greatly encouraged. I began to actually believe minimalism could work for me. As I started on my own journey towards minimalism my enthusiasm grew and everywhere I looked I saw where it was desperately needed.
Excess and the Need for Less
Since most of my friends are moms, I began to see the many areas of excess where minimalism could make a real difference:
- Toys spilling out of bedrooms and taking over living rooms.
- Drawers of kid clothes so packed that nothing else would fit.
- Kitchens full of plastic storage containers, useless gadgets, and extra items that never get touched.
- Schedules jam packed with sports and other extra curricular activities.
- Weekends filled with obligatory birthday parties from kids at school that you had to go to just because your kid was invited.
- Families that never seem to have any time spent together because they are all busy doing their own thing.
- Going into debt for Christmas presents that just end up shoved under a bed or in the next annual garage sale.
Many of these I saw in my own life and in our home. There is just so much excess everywhere – excess debt, excess possessions, and excess scheduling. It’s time for less! Minimalism doesn’t have to mean getting rid of everything. It is simply a tangible way of choosing the things that are important and getting rid of the rest.
What Can You Do Today?
If you are sitting there like I was wishing things could be different, then just ask yourself “What can I do today to get to where I want to be?” A mom can’t do everything by herself, but there is actually a lot that we can control and bring back some balance to the family.
- If you want fewer toys to pick up, walk over to the toy box and start going through those toys.
- If you want a cleaner, more organized kitchen, go throw away a few of the gadgets you haven’t touched in months.
- If you want a more cleaned out closet, get rid of the clothes you haven’t worn all season.
- If you want to get out of debt, cut up your credit cards and go sell something on eBay.
- If you want to make some family memories, cancel the plans for this weekend and spend it together as a family.
Each family is different and every journey is unique. Tap into your power as a mom and accomplish something great for your family today.
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Faith is a mom of three who hopes to inspire mothers to pursue “less mess and more time.” You can find her blog at Minimalist Moms or follow her on Twitter.
Katie says
My husband and I have really been working toward a lot of these things lately. Your article here is a great refreshing reminder of some of the things we want to accomplish!
Albert van Zyl says
Dads can comment too, right? We are a family of four that works, paints, goes to karate, art, cricket, horse riding etc, you get the picture. About a month ago we started blocking out Sundays for family time. We go nowhere, we see non -one. We just get up, hang out in our pajamas, talk, read and play. It really works for us. Try it.
'Nette says
This post made me fondly (yes! fondly!) remember my 10th birthday, when my parents led a very loving minimalization event that repeated upon my sister’s tenth birthday. Since my age “wasn’t in single-digits anymore,” I was asked to choose one toy to keep while the rest were taken in for donation to less-fortunate kids. I picked my Legos, and mourned the rest…for perhaps a month. Kids are incredibly adept natural minimalists, and we oughta encourage it! :)
Janice says
WOW, this could not have crossed my path at a better time – printing for reading over with the family.
THANKS!
lorrie says
im not a mom but thanks for the ideas about less clutter and clothes, i have most of my xl clothes ready to give away and altering to large and mediums still have to go through all clothes and add in my new clothes . I like to use baskets and or storage units also for magazines i just tear out the articles i like and then recycle the magazines
christine says
Lauren, I feel your pain. I am, too, working on getting “sucked in” to keeping up with everyone else. I feel that since they are little, 3 and 5, I can have a stronger impact now than when they are caught up with what their friends have at school. I purposely only sign my 5 year old for one activity at a time. My 3 year old isn’t really into anything enough that warrants a paid program. We have much more fun supporting the kids interests at home. For example, he loves birds so we got bird feeders, pulled out our bird identification book and put it in a basket by the window with binoculars that we bought at a consignment store. Both my kids love it!
I really enjoy this forum. I am just starting up a blog and can only hope I can touch as many people.
Lauren says
I’m so happy to see that I’m not weird like I always thought I was. People can’t believe I go through my daughter’s toys every month and get rid of/donate or that she only has one (big) bucket of toys and no more (besides stuff like her kitchen or rocking horse).
Its so hard not to feel guilty about it being that I am a young mom. Sometimes I feel self concious that people think my daughter doesn’t have a million toys, or go to moms morning out plus dance plus music plus storytime plus plus….or that I committed to not buying her new clothes for the winter because I can’t provide as much for her. Its not that we can’t, its just that she has enough. Her birthday is right after Christmas, there will be no shortage of toys for the winter. I hate being so busy I can’t remember what we have done all day, and I don’t like spending the money on all these “classes” that I don’t feel like she needs. I have a friend who gave me SO many wonderful hand me downs for the winter, that she doesn’t NEED any extra clothes.
I really have to work at my keeping up with the Jones’ impulses when it comes to Mallory. Ofcourse we want our children to have the best of everything, so I’m still learning how to balance that all. I’m hoping I can check out your site for some inspiration.
Jannie says
Nice post :).
I don’t consider myself as an extreem minimalist, but I have three children (0, 4 and 6 yrs) and we don’t have a couch (in the living room, we do have one that’s also a bed that we use for guests. We don’t use it ourselfs) tv or car. It’s probably easier for us. We live in a bike-friendly country.
I Live in an Antbed says
Very balanced presentation! This has been on my heart, too. We have seven children, one is now married, but all the rest still live at home. There was even a year when we had an extra young lady living with us. Having this many people living in our home exacerbates this problem. I usually have the kids, at least once a year, take everything out of their rooms, except the furniture, and tell them to only put the things back in that they love and use. It’s amazing how much can accumulate!
Jenny, Plain and Simple says
As a mom in a step family with kids constantly coming and going in and out of the house, being a minimalist is a struggle. We can’t control all of the aspects of our children’s lives. We only get to control a portion of their week. We do what we can to set a good example when they are with us.
My husband and I would love to sell the big house and move into something smaller, but the kids need to stay in the same district. We are cutting back and simplifying where we can, and are nowhere close to being fully minimalist. We have goals and plans for the future, and are doing what we can now. We see living more simply as a journey.
I’d love to hear from blended families that are on the minimalist journey too. http://plainandsimpleme.wordpress.com/2010/09/26/too-much-stuff/
Faith - Minimalist Moms says
In my mind, becoming minimalist and staying minimalist is always going to be a struggle as long as kids are in the house. I’m sure being a blended family brings its own set of challenges. Your family’s version doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s version of minimalism. Just by being aware of the changes you ARE able to make will end up making a bigger impact on your family that you might initially realize. Good luck on your journey!