Why Minimalism Is About More Than Just a Clean Home

I was first introduced to Misty through email a few years ago. Misty is a stay-at-home mom to her four children in Kenosha, Wisconsin. She is fun-loving and spontaneous—you know, the type of mom that might instigate a race-around-the-house-in-pajamas-on-a-snow day.

She’s always loved children. In fact, before becoming a stay-at-home mom, she taught kindergarteners how to read and write. She was born with a heart for kids—and growing older has not changed that one bit.

“I loved teaching,” she told me. “But being a stay-at-home mom has always been my dream job. When we had our first child, my husband and I figured out a way financially for me to stay home. There are so many wonderful things about this stage in my life. Unfortunately, a cluttered home was not one of them.

“Maybe it was my ‘school-teacher-tendency’ that caused me to keep everything. But I couldn’t shake disorganization. And I tried everything! I read every organizational book I could get my hands on, I watched shows like ‘Clean House’ looking for inspiration, I attended workshops and watched videos, but I was unable to get a handle on my clutter.”

While there were some brief moments of victory in Misty’s efforts to declutter her home, for the most part, she was losing the war. “There were times, Joshua… I was devastated, but not deterred. This is my family we’re talking about and they are worth a comfortable house where they could bring their friends and feel proud to call it their home.”

But then, during the Fall before she emailed me, things began to change. “I decided to adopt a new decluttering strategy. I intentionally set apart time each week to do some decluttering—‘minimizing’ is what I called it. I systematically worked through each room in my home—starting with the easiest spaces and moving on to harder spaces. I challenged a few friends to do the same area in their home each week so we could hold each other accountable. And little by little, I made progress.

“It wasn’t always easy, but I began to see a change take place in my home. Our main living areas were much better. Our bedrooms became more peaceful. Our van could be parked inside the garage.”

But here’s where her story got me… and why I so desperately wanted to share it with you. Once Misty experienced the benefits of her new decluttering strategy, she stopped talking about the physical areas in her home and began making the following statements about her new life:

• “I am now able to say ‘yes’ to playdates and asking people in when they stop by.”
• “I am no longer depressed when I come home and am greeted by the piles. Instead, I am my best ‘me’ as soon as I walk in the door.”
• “Our home is more welcoming to visitors, just like we’ve always dreamt it would be.”
• “Because of my focused decluttering efforts, I now have more time and energy for my kids.”

And then, she added this: “Owning less has made me a better mom.”

Did you catch that? Owning less helped her become a better mom!

Misty’s story perfectly illustrates a vital, yet often missed principle about owning less:

Decluttering is about more than just a clean home. Decluttering is about alignment.

Let’s consider the significance of this because it often determines whether we are successful in our decluttering efforts or not.

The goal of minimalism (owning less) isn’t just to have a clean home or a larger bank account or space to park your minivan in the garage. The goal of minimalism is to be freed to pursue our greatest passions.

Owning less is a pathway to establish greater harmony in our lives. It spurs greater connection between our values and our actions. It prompts intentionality. And it redirects our most finite resources toward those things that matter most to us—however we choose to define them. Decluttering allows us to become more of who we want to become.

This is Misty’s story. The clutter in her home was not adding value to her life. It was not helping her be the kind of mom she wanted to be. Just the opposite, the physical possessions in her home distracted her from the life she wanted to be living.

I have found the same principle at work in my life. At first, I was just looking for a little relief. I was weary of living paycheck-to-paycheck. I was weary of spending so much money on myself knowing there were others that needed it more. And I was weary of all the time and energy being wasted on cleaning, organizing, repairing, and maintaining our home. I was tired of looking at clutter in my home. Those were the felt needs that prompted me to minimize my possessions.

My decision to become minimalist was motivated primarily by discontent. But as my family and I began removing all the possessions that were not needed, we found countless life benefits: freedom, productivity, rest, and a whole bunch more. We quickly discovered intentionality in our finances and how we spent our time. We noticed positive changes in our health, our relationships, our spirituality, our impact on the environment, and how we interacted with the world around us.

My wife and I were able to better pursue the values important to us: faith, family, friends. Our values didn’t change because of decluttering, but our opportunity to pursue them with greater passion did. Our actions began to align with our values.

Again, decluttering is ultimately about alignment.

Think of all the time we waste caring for and pursuing material possessions. The average size of the American home has nearly tripled in the past fifty years, and still one out of every nine households rents off-site storage. We spend almost 700 hours each year cleaning and caring for our home, and more than 153 days of our lives searching for misplaced items. No wonder over half of Americans plan to declutter in the next few months.

It might be justifiable if these possessions were making us happier, but they are not. Happiness levels have basically flatlined since the 1950s. In fact, the opposite is true: Our excessive accumulation of possessions appear to be primarily burdening our lives. The average U.S. household with credit card debt has a balance of around $6,065, while the average mortgage debt is over $245,000. And recently, the New York Times referred to our generation as the most stressed, tired and rushed generation of all time.

It is important to understand that intentionally owning less is not a burdensome sacrifice. It is exactly the opposite! Minimalism speaks to me of freedom, of peace and of joy. It’s about space that has been opened up for new possibilities. It’s truly “good riddance” because it clears away obstacles to the life we want to live. It’s the surest way to begin aligning our lives with our values.

So how do we get started?

First, let’s review what minimalism is. It is the intentional pursuit of the things we value the most and the removal of anything that distracts us. Even though we’re talking about decluttering, the ultimate purpose is to put ourselves in a position where it’s easier to fulfill our life’s goals.

This leads me to the most important step you can take in your decluttering journey. Before you remove even one item from your home, I encourage you to sit down and articulate one or more reasons why you want to declutter your home. Take time to think about this. The possibilities will be entirely unique to you, your purpose and your values. Think beyond: I’d like to clean less. Reflect on your values, those dreams you want to achieve with your life.

I’m not saying that you have to have every last detail of your goals nailed down right now. In a very real way, your purposes will drive your simplifying, and your simplifying will refine your goals. One will enhance the other in an ongoing learning process. But as far as you know them now, define your reasons for de-owning and decluttering.

Here are some examples to spark your thought process:

• I want to get out of debt and start saving money for retirement.
• I want to downsize to a condo.
• I want a schedule that’s less hectic.
• I want to be available to help my parents as they grow older.
• I want to climb mountains on every continent of the world.
• I want to spend a year volunteering at a clinic in Haiti.
• I want to be free to coach my son’s ball team.
• I want to stop teaching music lessons and join a chamber orchestra.
• I want to invite people over without worrying about what a mess my house is.

When you have completed your list, post it in a place where you will see it often. I recommend the bathroom mirror. Your short list—it can even be just one sentence—will motivate you to keep moving forward. And there will be times when you desperately need the inspiration. Without it, you might forget why you’re filling a box to take to Goodwill or lose interest in posting that china hutch on Craigslist.

Before any of us can minimize our homes and lives, we must be convinced the lifestyle we want is worth our effort. Your list of reasons for simplifying will remind you of what you want to get out of the process.

Decluttering is ultimately about alignment. It spurs greater congruence between our values and our actions. This was Misty’s story. And it can be yours too.