Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Sarah Peck of it starts with.
“We live in a world of scarcity. Which means we feel like we never have enough.” – Brené Brown
Living in a world of scarcity means that we’re constantly searching for the next thing to fill us up, the next destination or achievement to make us whole. Our world is filled with messages that tell us we don’t have enough space, enough stuff, enough clothes, enough fitness. We’re never skinny enough or pretty enough or good enough or rich enough.
This scarcity model drives consumption and accumulation; it spurs us to want more, to buy things because we think it will fill the void. We press to work harder, to get fitter, to buy more clothes, to acquire more things in the name of filling the hole.
The problem with scarcity, however, is that you can’t fill it or fix it with things.
The answer to scarcity, ironically, isn’t more. It is enough.
What you have is enough. Who you are is enough. As Danielle LaPorte says in her Fire Starter Sessions: “You already have everything you need.”
What about Minimalist Enough?
This cuts both ways, however. As a person with lots of things, and an apartment with hundreds of books, I sometimes feel like my efforts to de-clutter and reduce the number of things that surround me aren’t enough. And the thought begins to creep in: I’m not minimalist enough. I see someone who is minimalist and only has 100 things and the internal voice begins again, “I guess I’m not minimalist… enough.”
These attitudes are pervasive and can race around in my head. I can quickly become overwhelmed with the desire to eliminate stuff, lose weight, be better, do more, achieve….more.
But the idea of minimalism isn’t about reaching a goal, or checking off a box, or reaching a certain destination. To me, minimalism is realizing that what I already have is enough, and that adding clutter to the pile won’t make it any better. And chasing a dream of more minimalism is, ironically, not what I’m after either.
To me, as I breathe out and sigh into the life that I’m living, and find gentler ways to tweak, edit, and refine; I find that recognizing what is important and what is not is the most critical exercise.
Stripping away the excess lets us get to the bones of what really matters. Get to the heart space. Get to the pieces that are important. And that level can be different for different people.
My Modest Minimalist Journey.
I recently conducted an experiment in which I decided to stop buying new clothes for the entire year. (There were two exceptions: shoes and underwear, but only as needed). For an entire year, I lived without buying anything new, on purpose. As a female in a clothes-and-image-centric society, I wanted to see what it was like to live without shopping for a while.
I was always dismayed by the number of female friends that were readily going into debt to maintain their image in public. When I thought about it, $400 outfits (the average price on any feature shopping magazine page) can add up to a lot of money if one were to wear a new outfit every day for a year. (That’s $150,000 just on clothes—who are we kidding?). You might think I’m joking—but to be perfectly honest, I know people who are $20,000 and $30,000 in credit card debt from clothes shopping alone. The image pressures on females (and males!) can be increasingly intense.
Yet over the year, as I experimented in my journey of wearing and re-wearing the same outfits hundreds of times, I also found there were times when I got discouraged—especially when I looked around online and saw things like the Versalette by revolution apparel. I inadvertently compared myself to other people who were doing a better job at buying nothing than I was.
But then I realized: I don’t have to be the best or the most minimalist. I can be minimalist enough. Minimalism isn’t about winning, and it isn’t about a particular achievement. It’s about finding out what matters to you, and getting rid of the peripheral.
Over the course of the year, I thinned out my closet and pared down to a few favorite items. I made over twenty trips to charity with bags of clothes and gently worn shoes that I no longer needed. At one point, I had socks and underwear with holes in them, and I got out my sewing machine and fixed them up. Making old things new again was surprisingly satisfying. Getting rid of all of my extra socks—and just having a few pairs to use each day—actually made my life simpler. The process of getting rid of things reminded me of what I liked—and what mattered.
Over time, I started to become acutely aware of everything that crossed the physical threshold of my front door. The amount of stuff that piled up around me on a daily basis crept into my consciousness, and I’m still surprised by the amount of clutter we let into our lives each day. Every time I brought something new in—mail, letters, books, ideas, shopping bags—I tried to make a conscious effort that the stuff I was bringing with me was valuable, and that I was also taking enough stuff out of the apartment each day to keep my space maintainable.
Untethering from the need to consume was surprisingly easy. It was the attitude change that made the most difference: looking through my things and realizing I already had enough—that I didn’t have to rush out and buy something new to fill a hole or a need—let me breathe again. It was relaxing and reassuring to know what I had was okay. What you are is already good enough.
I learned, slowly, that having excess stuff was giving me a headache, wasting my time and energy, and wasting a lot of money I wanted to focus on eliminating debt.
Over time, I will continue to whittle away at the things I don’t need in order to make space for the things I love. It turns out, all those unnecessary clothes were crowding out the space of the things I loved. I got rid of several boxes and cleared off a space for all of my books—one of my loves. Clearing out, to me, is about reducing the unnecessary clutter in your life to make space for what matters, and finding a balance that lets your soul breathe. It’s about stripping away the things you don’t need so you can focus on what’s important.
Sometimes a subtle attitude shift or a small sacrifice can make a big difference. Like taking the time to appreciate that what you already have is enough. And your effort? It’s enough.
Because stuff isn’t what matters.
What you have is enough. YOU are enough.
***
Sarah is a writer, designer and storyteller based in San Francisco, CA. She is the brain behind the blog “it starts with” and founded the online landscape urbanism journal at the nexus of cities, landscape and design. In her playtime, she spends ample amounts of time running, open water swimming, dancing and doing handstands in unusual places.
I appreciate your comment that being minimalist is supposed to give you room to live and breathe and enjoy what you love. We get so caught up in numbers of things we own and don’t stop to think that we are all individuals, with different needs! Someone who bakes a lot to give away and bless other people might own more bread pans than someone who rarely does. Someone who works a certain professional job might need more clothing to be appropriately dressed for varying situations (politeness and appropriateness is important). I personally own a stack of simple cotton tshirts because I change them sometimes 3-4 times a day due to my mess making little babies. If I were obsessed with only owning a certain number of shirts to be sufficiently minimalistic I would very often have nothing to change into, have more laundry than my already obscene amount and be miserable. God created the world to meet our needs, and things can be a blessing, as long as we don’t idolize them and become greedy.
This is what I needed to hear today. I am enough.
I’m reminded of the old Teddy Roosevelt quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Gracias Joshua por este maravilloso blog, me he iniciado en la vida minimalista y me siento liberada. Saludos!
Greetings! Your article really struck home with me. I have been left with a lot of things that belonged to my Mom, some of which I still can’t bear to part with, and, things that belong to two of my grown-up children who moved to another continent. I keep things, doubles of that I think I might need if mine break down or if one of my other grown-up children who live close by might possibly need. I recycle or donate anything I possibly can. My home is full of books that I’m going to read some day, movies I’m going to watch, music CDs that I’m going to listen to…..and the list goes on. Even as to candles I’m going to burn some day. I have been getting rid of stuff, but it is so hard. I would like to move into a latch key place so that I can go away for a couple of months in the winter to visit my kids and grandkids. Yup, slowly but surely, however, no one knows how much time they have left. Thanks for the insight! Wish me luck with my de-cluttering!
Thanks for the reminder that we are all ‘Different’ as I have found this journey very challenging with ‘what is enough for me’ and some things are much easier to get rid of than others, but I am seeing some success!! This is a hard time of the year being ‘Christmas’ I Love the Beauty of the Season and everything sparkles and is so Pretty!! It is really hard not to make those ‘extra purchases’ which I am so used to doing but I am now beginning to be more conscious of my decisions for gift giving…not easy as I am a detail Person and Love to Give!! I sure there are many others going through this right now… so I am trying to remember what Joshua has said over the last couple of months of still giving “nice gifts” which helps me to pair things down, instead of a bunch of little odds and end which is more time consuming anyways. All the Best to everyone else over the next couple of months to try and keep focused as there is tons of advertising out there!! :)
Use the good linens and light the candles, life us too short not to enjoy what we have. Can’t take it with you. My mom was saving in the attic cooking utensils from her bridal shower, told her after 30 years of marriage, this is as good as its going to get. She used utensils for s month or two but years of extreme cold and heat differences took their toll, the tools basically fell apart.
I love this. After my Mom passed away last February, I have recognized how much I have and conversely don’t need. This week I looked at all of my bridal crystal that have never been used save a few pieces that were used once. I thought to myself, what is the purpose of having all this stuff? Why am I robbing myself of the enjoyment of using them now? I’ve decided I will use them and everything I own. For the things I don’t use I’ll sell some, gift some, share some but I will get them out of our home so I can have space and breathe again. We are definitely on a journey of detaching more and more from stuff and placing more value on experiences and relationships.
Been to a clothing shop yesterday. Less than a quarter of the area catered to men. Going for years without buying anything new is rather the norm. in the last 4 years I have thrown out and donated more clothing than I bought.
Unemployment does that. Trying to make yourself fit for a smaller home, and just use up what you have. Using the savings to cover rent and bills.
Happy to never buy clothes. Happy with what I have. Recently had to buy a whole new outfit for a close relative’s wedding. Result: total stress. hated it.
Who can afford $400 or $500 clothing outfits? I have cleaned out my closet several times this year 2014. Still decluttering. It all takes time to get rid of items that we really do not need. I so enjoy reading Joshua Becker’s blog. It gives me hope that one day I can live completely in a minimalistic world and be content. Having less is really the way to be. Thanks again for your wonderful blog. It gives me encouragement to finish my project of decluttering.
This is a great article and thank you for reminding us that “our” minimalism is enough at whatever level it is of minimalism. I struggle with the clothing part of minimalism. If I gain weight I need a new “form” (lately tunic tops) to cover up the bad parts (approaching 50 muffin top) and don’t deal with the bad parts and work on myself. I made time to go shopping why not make the time to go work out. Augh!! Thank you for the motivation this morning.
I am aware that we need things in life, what I realize is that we do not need a lot of things. Your writing made it clear what we should be concentrating on. The time and money that is wasted on all the “extra” in our lives cannot ever be replaced or returned. I want to be able to say that I enjoyed my life, not that I got all the newest “things” out there. Thank you so much.
Sarah, this article is very timely for me. I have an overstuffed closet, well, a couple of them. I have had a goal for two years to go through my wardrobe. When I go to do it, I see the dress I wore to my father’s funeral, my teaching clothes, four different sizes (I’m always afraid I will get bigger and have nothing to wear…which hasn’t been the case in over three years but the fear is there). I am stuck. How to manage such a huge task? Any tips?
Tracy, why would you get bigger? aren’t you in control of your body? take care of your health. Are you really going to let yourself get FOUR sizes bigger??
Hi Lu. It’s an irrational fear, but a fear nonetheless. You are right. I eat healthy and commit to movement everyday. Six of those days are intense fit workouts. Thank you for the objective reality.
Tracy – commit to saying goodbye to ONE item a day and send it off with your blessing and a smile. It takes very little effort and over a year that’s 365 things (the equivalent of seeds in a pomegranate:) )
I like that idea, Di. Love the pomegranate analogy. Thank you for the tip. It is manageable and measurable and the time will pass anyway.
I’m new on the minimalist wagon (I’m slowly working my way through every room in the house–regifting and donating at least 10 things from each room) Thank you for bringing it to my attention that I had shifted my mind set and was now in the rat race of trying to keep up with the “minimalist Jones'”. I had “own only essentials” envy!
Though I’ve made countless trips to the local thrift shop to shed my excess possessions, I still wasn’t satisfied…now I see that I was too busy comparing myself to old pros who have been living the ‘lite life” for years.
Thank you for reminding me that my progress is just that–MY progress. Though I have a long way to go, I’ve made leaps and bounds. I can now view seasoned minimalists as mentors and not competitors in the purging process. Thank you for this enlightening attitude adjustment!
No more “stuff” coming into my house. Planning to start the de-clutter process. Wow, it seems overwhelming when I try to figure out what I can do with the “stuff” without tossing it into a landfill. Yard Sale… Resale Shops here I come. This winter my 15 year old ski pants gave up. I recycled my husband’s 20 year old ski pants, which I’ve been wearing to shovel snow. They’re a bit big, but work fine. Saved me $200. Haven’t purchased any new clothes this year.
Thanks for this great article.
I do have more clothes than I need, and wish to get rid of more. I keep b garbage bag ready for anything I find I’m not using, at any time. But the other possessions in my life take up far more space, and are harder to organize. My efforts to reduce the stuff have not focused on clothes.
Great article. i now live by capsule wardrobes and i’m loving it. After seeing it done on Inside out style blog by imogen, I have cleared out all the clothes I didn’t wear and kept and now match all the pieces i truly love.
Yes, I agree that what we have is enough…if what we have is Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. Only He can fill the voids. Everyone has a God shaped hole in their hearts and nothing else can fill that hole. God created us that way so we would seek a personal relationship with His Son Jesus Christ who died for our sins. Jesus is the bridge we need to get to God so He alone can fill that hole.
one bonus benefit of deciding not to buy new cloths is motivation to stay in the same weight (if one is at good weight of course). by the way, why would one need underwear or shoes yearly? one would need to replace them even less frequently..
Great article.
I have only brought one gym outfit this year.
I Have work on wearing my oldest clothes first. Till no longer feasible.
I normally shop once a year when I visit family in the city.
I make clothes last the year.
Man do they get a work out.
Now just have to convince hubby. Put the most worn on top and wear.
Amazing your most worn clothes often only have 20 more wears.
Saved lots of cash. I now look at body sharp of bad purchases and hand them on to others they will suit.
Big deal. Those of us who are broke have been doing this our whole lives. I appreciate that this person had a wake up call, but I don’t know ANYONE who spends tens of thousands of dollars yearly on clothes.
I’ve been doing this since I was a kid. Got no option when you’re poor. The only things I buy are secondhand and even that is few and far between. I would love to have some new clothes as at this time I’m only wearing what I wear to work. Its winter too and I have no warm jackets, nor a robe or slippers to put on in the frosty mornings.
For my 60th year, I made a goal to give up acquiring All and any more clothes. Since I frequently shopped at thrift stores, restricting to only new would have been meaningless
At first it was a little difficult, saw something I liked, but then had to remind myself that I couldn’t get that item. After a short while, stopped wasting time shopping…Good result.
At the end of that year, was fine, and realized that every challenging goal who obtain, paves the way for an even more challenging goal.
I already am a clothes minimalist; one pair of blue jeans at a time that are washed and worn until they almost fall apart. I wear jeans everywhere–from work to church, weddings to funerals. People have adapted to realize that’s just me. I am, however, a horrible collector of what I deem to be “cool stuff” and arts and crafts items. I have a house full of fabric, stained glass-making stuff, a floor loom for rug making, quilting supplies and partially completed quilts, a pottery studio, sewing supplies as well as needlework items. I also love to make fancy cookies and cakes for people (not as a business, but for gifts). I am so overwhelmed by all this stuff! But I am also struggling with letting a lot of it go because I move between the arts as my creative focus changes. My daughters have been helping me clear out what I can and every time a box goes out, I breathe a sigh of relief. I don’t think I’m a hoarder, I just can’t seem to contain my interests! Sigh….
The minimal life works for me and the no shopping suggestion has been in place for years. I have never been a fashion follower. Even during teen years I rebelled against the “Cool Girls” and was voted Most Individualistic in high school. I also had the pleasure of being a hippie [and still such], so individuality was easy. Now in my sixth decade I continue to be “different”. I love to craft so making my own clothing and accessories is wonderful. I work the front desk at a library so I am highly visible daily. My patrons and staff members all comment on what new and crazy things I have made. I also recycle items and enjoy creating something from nothing. I encourage others to think less about stuff (that covers everything) and think more about living each day to the fullest.
I have realized that greater than 98% of the time I wear two outfits, jeans/shorts and a t-knit shirt or a blouse at home. Or my nursing uniforms. I have a few nice outfits, couple of “emotional outfits” that I am having a hard times letting go of. But I could, doubt I will ever wear again to attend a funeral like the one I wore it to, hope not. And clothes I bought that are new that don’t fit me – Yet. ha ha, don’t we all do that.
I have already weaned down the amount of clothes and shoes I have so much, that my closet space is way down.
I am going to concentrate on quality “everyday”, a few professional and dress up outfits and get rid of more.
This will open up a area where I can remodel 5 closets into one and get room for a small bathroom I want instead.
Also I will be helping environmental causes on reducing clothing waste, which is a huge issue. And it sounds like you all are also helping – so pat yourself on the back for that.
I think I will look for a women’s professional clothing closet to donate the funeral dress – it will make me happy to help someone get a happy – hopefully use out of a Nostrums dress that has been worn once.