“An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.” – Benjamin Franklin
The statistics concerning our personal use of money are not particularly good:
- Nearly 70% of Americans have less than $1,000 in savings.
- 25% of Americans have no savings at all.
- The average U.S. household owes $7,149 in credit card debt.
- 40% of Americans spend up to half of their income servicing debt.
- Less than 1/3 of Americans use a budget.
No wonder money remains the most common conflict for American couples and a leading cause of stress.
The statistics concerning our personal financial habits are downright sad. And yet, nobody is talking about it… at least, not in personal terms.
Money remains one of the least-discussed topics of conversation in our society. We have been conditioned, it seems, from a young age to not talk about it. We fear looking foolish in our personal decision-making. We worry about stirring up envy or comparison among our friends and family. Or we are concerned about how we will be perceived.
So it seems easier to not talk about it. As a result, we often go at it alone hoping our own judgment will serve us well in our personal financial decisions.
However, based on the numbers above, it is not.
Our silence is ruining us. Not having this conversation is negatively affecting us as persons, as families, and as a society. Personal finance is a conversation we need to be having with our closest and trusted friends. We have so much to learn from one another in all aspects of life—finances included.
While many people do not have financial advisers they meet with often, almost all of us have friends and relationships with people we look up to. Next time you are with somebody you admire, bring up the topic of personal finance with a spirit of curiosity and humility. Try asking some important questions.
Here are ten money questions to ask your best friend.
The conversation will help you, and probably them, make better financial decisions.
1. Can I ask you a money question… About what percentage of your income do you spend on housing? How did you decide on that amount?
2. Do you have a monthly payment on your car? When you bought the vehicle, how did you decide how much you were going to spend?
3. I have a personal question for you if you don’t mind… Are you currently saving money for retirement? Are you happy with how much you are saving? When did you start?
4. Do you have health insurance? Can I ask how much you pay for it?
5. Did you have to take out a loan for school? If so, are you doing anything to pay it off early?
6. Do you and your spouse set a financial budget for your home? Do you have good tips on how to find something that works?
7. Is there a thought process that you use when making large purchases?
8. Do you invest any money in the stock market? Where do you go to find advice?
9. What is the best piece of financial advice you’ve ever received?
10. Are you doing anything specific to teach your kids about personal finance?
Now, I’m not assuming your friend will have all the perfect answers to these questions. But sometimes, the first step to finding the correct answer is simply beginning the conversation.
What other financial questions do you think would be helpful to ask a trusted friend?
D Mayer says
I appreciate this topic. As I work through a life coach certification, I have been exposed to a money coaching curriculum. I think it is such a powerful subject to focus on. So many of us have poor, or dated, money beliefs, which keep us held back, or financially stuck in our lives. Culturally, we have created and supported, some of these negative outcomes.
The questions provided are a great way to learn how to start engaging around the subject of money, in a non-aggressive way. It’s a conversation, not prying. It’s an opportunity to share tips and strategies. It’s an opportunity to change someone’s long-term outcome around money.
Money is not bad, or the root of all evil. Though negative things can come with money, so can many, many positive things! So let’s all start finding grander ways to utilize the energy of money for ourselves, each other and our communities!
Lillie Akin Knighton says
I paid for my funeral .. all costs except paying the pastor and family flowers on the casket .. l went through a terrible time when my late husband died and left no life insurance .. nothing for funeral .. lt took me years to pay it off .. thank good ness , l was still working! Those are things to consider !! Now !
Gh Bth says
Yes, that’s what my parents did. None of them worked, nor had savings. They were migrants from Turkey and all their children cam with them. Both passed away within 2 months apart. Cost of hospital, etc. Luckily they had 5 children.
Pauline Landry says
These comments are from the ‘converted’. How do we attract those who could most benefit from this sound advice?
We have just returned to Canada from our Mexican home where life is so much simpler. Everything is bought and sold using cash. Hence the locals we know are happily debt free. Even our maid and husband are slowly building a modest home poco a poco as no mortgage is available to them. Yes their standard of living is lower than ours but they aren’t wasteful and cherish what matters, family, friends and pleasure in the simpler things in life. We are humbled by living in their caring community.
Nicole says
I live in Thailand and have experienced the same thing – people live much more simply, but living day by day does result in them having no savings for their future. But, the culture is so different from the western norm in that it is expected that the kids take care of the parents when they are older, so even though they’ve nothing saved, they live with the kids. I think this is typical in many parts of the world out of economic necessity. In our western countries where we truly have extra, I hope that we can learn to be better stewards of what we’re blessed with.
Mik says
“Never trust a prophet making a profit”…unknown
Teresa Rausch says
Josh, I am a Personal Financial Coach and you checked all the boxes of concern for me and many of the mistakes people make before they seek coaching. Why are we so hesitant to talk about money with a trusted partner, friend or family member? There is a whole litany of reasons but in my opinion its two fold. 1 – We fully believe everyone is living on the same “hedonistic treadmill” as we are. 2 – For many the shame of where their finances are holds them back from seeking input or support. We need to change both of these perspectives! Thanks for raising this topic.
CT Turner says
This is so good! I am a high school math teacher, and I am going to share these tips with my senior-level students. So many people get out into the real world and fall immediately into debt – credit card scams, student loans, personal loans, or cars, to name a few traps – and it can be so hard to get out. I hope they hear this information!
Liz Heberling says
We follow Dave Ramsey and implemented his plan for our finances some time ago. We are open and honest with our adult children and answer any questions from our friends. It’s a worthwhile journey.
Toshi says
This is so good! I will be sharing this with my adult children! THANK YOU!
Barbara David says
in a society where we are bombarded with offers of things to buy, pictures of enticing things, words that imply that we will be much better off if we do buy (and now, cause it is such a special offer), HOW do you say no: “I do NOT need that, although I sure want it”. Goodwill is now having to PAY heaps to get rid of the trash that people bring them: AFTER having made all the donations that they can. We MAKE way way too much: how can we stop that?
Jessalynn Jones says
Interesting article Joshua. I have to admit that I feel nervous talking about money with others because we are debt free with savings, at this time. I feel like it might a good conversation to have though because your questions bring intention to our financial decisions. I think a lot of people are not very intentional about how the spend money and just get the nicest car they can maybe afford the payments for and so forth.
I think what has helped us the most is trying to keep any monthly payments as low as we could and then paying more when we could. That’s a viewpoint that is different than most peoples viewpoints and it has helped us with the pandemic because when finances and work changed we weren’t living at the very edge of our income, we were living well below it.
Jimmy Nolan says
I have been helped immensely by becoming minimalist for years and always come away with something to think about and tweak concerning material things. One thing did cross my mind when reading this today for what it is worth. Giving money to the less fortunate; this always helps me when thinking about material things. I only add this as a possible suggestion, not as a critique.
Thanks again for all that is shared it really makes a difference.
Jennifer says
My coworker and I have become accountability buddies in the area of personal finance. A few years ago we discovered that we both had credit card debt, and found that sharing our ‘deep, dark secret’ with one another made it seem more manageable. We became each other’s cheerleaders and have worked to pay it all off, even in the midst of a pandemic! It is a relief to know that someone else out there is trying to figure it out when it comes to money matters. Now we are saving for retirement and setting new goals…
Net says
Well done you! What a fantastic story to share that I’m sure will encourage others to try the same.