On September 4th, the New York Times published an important opinion piece titled, “You’ll Never Be Famous — And That’s O.K.”
It’s important.
The article, written by Emily Esfahani Smith, author of The Power of Meaning should probably be required reading for everyone. So, before anything else, go read it:
You’ll Never Be Famous — And That’s O.K. | The New York Times
Assuming some of you might not actually make it over to the original article, it summarizes itself in the closing sentence:
You don’t have to change the world or find your one true purpose to lead a meaningful life. A good life is a life of goodness — and that’s something anyone can aspire to, no matter their dreams or circumstances.
Emily cites much scientific research in her article that points to the fact that meaning is found not in success and fame and glamour, but in the mundane and ordinary. True meaning and purpose in life can be found in simple actions just as contributing to family, cheering up a friend, and/or seeing our occupation as an opportunity to serve others.
“The most meaningful lives,” Emily writes, “are often not the extraordinary ones. They’re the ordinary ones lived with dignity.”
Her distinction is important and worthy to be amplified.
There are many reasons her article is important, but let me list two:
1. Don’t miss (or overlook) your opportunity to lead a dignified, fulfilled life right where you are.
In this world of social media, viral videos, and 24-hour programming, extraordinary lives are beginning to appear normal–as if everybody is receiving public notoriety for their good deeds. Rescuers are interviewed live on CNN, celebrities are praised for donating millions to charity, and publications rank their top achievers under the age of 30.
Celebrities receive praise and adoration from every angle and for every decision they make. And while some of us may not crave the fame or notoriety, too often their lives become the standard by which we measure ours.
But you are not called to live their life; you are called to live yours.
You are called to love the people in your home, in your neighborhood, in your community group, and in your circle of influence. You can use the gifts and the talents you have been given to serve others and to live a decent, dignified life—whether CNN ever shows up or not.
Your fulfillment in life is not based on the number of viewers who witness your good deeds, your fulfillment is based on the fact that you did them anyway.
Do your best with the one life you’ve been given. You can find joy right where you are.
But there is another reason Emily’s article is important. And I don’t want you to miss it.
2) Don’t overlook the opportunity to recognize and learn from the everyday heroes you encounter.
In a culture of celebrity worship, it is far too common to care more about the lives of people we will never meet than to know the neighbor living next to us.
As a result, we often look toward the glamorous, the exalted, and the widely praised for inspiration and guidance.
But sometimes, the humble grandmother living next to us holds more wisdom than the bestselling author; the father who volunteers to coach our son’s baseball team knows more about servant leadership than the most renowned CEO; and the single mother down the street could teach us more about sacrifice than even the most-championed character on television.
These are the real heroes. Those who serve, not because the cameras are rolling or they hope to fill a blog post with words, but because they know it is the right thing to do. They have come to recognize the greatest fulfillment in life is not found in fame or fortune, but pursuing dignified lives and growing fruitful in the soil they have been planted.
These are the men and women we ought to seek out in life—and learn as much from as we possibly can about living life to the fullest. Seek out those mentors. They may never be famous, but that’s O.K.
Emily Esfahani Smith’s article is important. Not just because it reminds us that there is a life of fulfillment and purpose to be found in the mundane and ordinary we encounter every day. But because it reminds us to look for, and fix our eyes upon, those who have already found it there.
About Joshua Becker
Thanks so much for consistently inspiring your readers towards living meaningful lives.
Thank you for highlighting this article! It is a beautiful and very important message that I think all millennials (I am one myself) should be taught in our society of ‘the celebrity’.
Thank you!
Hi Josh,
There was an article you wrote on work before with the words ‘lean in’. I read it over a year ago on your site but I’m not sure if I read it as a new article or was looking through your archives.
It was about how work can be challenging and then lean in to it.
Anyway if that rings any bells for you I would love a link to it.
I have searched a few times and come up short.
Also I like this article too.
Thanks, Emily
Hi Josh,
There was an article you wrote on work before with the words ‘lean in’. I read it over a year ago on your site but I’m not sure if I read it as a new article or was looking through your archives.
It was about how work can be challenging and then lean in to it.
Anyway if that rings any bells for you I would love a link to it.
I have searched a few times and come up short.
Also I like this article too.
Thanks, Emily
Excellent truth. I recommend the book “Embracing Obscurity.” The author found this message so important that he or she left their name off. Author anonymous.
Joshua, I continue to thank you for the simply messages of inspiration on your website. They have changed my life in many wonderful ways.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this, Joshua. It’s everything, everything I needed to read this morning.
I’m not big on CNN, New York Times OR college students these days! lol BUT I do agree that it’s the everyday “grunts” that make the world go around. Seems a lot of the Hollywood’s famous have made fools of themselves lately and I have lost respect for them. It’s the hardworking soul who loves his family and does well for them that count as the real hero’s. Our “thin blue line” may not be famous, but our law enforcement and military serving this great country deserve the kudos. True—most of us will never be famous…but judging from the insane rhetoric that often comes from the mouths of the famous, I wouldn’t want to be. Often the famous behind closed doors are miserable! ; }
Thank you for the article. This is something that I have believed for many years but truly needed the reminder today. Thanks for the opportunity to refocus.
Beautiful post. I find that backing away from social media, even for a single day, leads to a much greater appreciation of daily life.
My wife and I often discuss this. That making an impact in one persons life is as meaningful as doing so in 20 or 20s. The people we see, touch, talk to, and just live near are more likely to have a meaningful impact in our life then the sports star, reality tv family, or politician. Those people impact culture but not families. So remember that the mundane is the cure for the insane.
Wow thank you for sharing such a profound article, that I would not have read otherwise. It is something I have been thinking about for awhile (I think since you shared the article about a mum wanting to know why its not enough just to be a mum or a worker etc). Your work makes a huge difference in the lives of alot of people, thank you Joshua.
Thanks Joshua. Sometimes we just need a little reminder of what really matters in life.
This is pure gold. Thank you. Joshua, may we share this on our facebook page? It is such a valuable insight into how to get a new perspective in our minds of our worth as human beings. With so much loneliness and depression rampant in our society, your article is so uplifting and I’d love to share it.
Thank you for today. ☺
This is the one area of my life that is coherent – I’m clear about my values and have read philosophy deep and wide, and practise gratitude (I’m a happy atheist), for my good fortune. I’m retired, I love every day, enjoy all that is available. It’s the ‘doing’ of tossing things out……. However, I can feel a warm glow of wanting to, ..er…begin to think about it……
Everyone should read this article… It was so profound!! Thank you for reminding us that we’re all here to touch those around us in positive ways…. And that’s the most important thing we can do!
Both you article and the New York Times article were great. I remind myself that God has given me gifts AND circumstances. I am to use the gifts I have in the circumstances I am in to help those around me.
Thanks Joshua. Really needed this today.
There was an old gentleman I used to see every day in Starbucks. His name was Gordon and conversations with him were always delightful. Filled with anecdotes, life lessons and wisdom. Gordon is not famous, but his authenticity and kindness touches so many people. Today’s post reminded me of Gordon! Thanks.
And thank you, John, for always being so willing to comment here and share your experience and, especially, for being so positive!
Your blog is a benchmark for me, a level of writing and relevance I aspire to achieve in my own work as an uplifter and encourager. May God continue to bless your work and multiply your rewards! Today was especially appropriate as I begin putting together a post about being remarkable and leaving a legacy.
Exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you for sharing!
This is what I love about the movie “It’s A Wonderful Life.” I cry every time it comes to the part where George realizes how his life impacted so many others even though he thought what he did was so trivial.
… And that he never realized his dream of traveling the world. Everybody, just keep on keepin’ on! That movie is one of my favorites!
I too believe, living peacefully and helping others makes your life complete you don’t need to do great deeds.
Great piece and thanks for highlighting the nuggets of truth embedded within!
Nobel prize worthy… loving and serving our fellow man while appreciating the mundane is the way to a peaceful existence. Thank you for this gentle reminder.
Thank you for sharing this and for your comments on it!!! I love reading things that actually matter and make a difference in my life. Her article was so good and I so appreciate her time and dedication to such an important topic!
I really enjoyed this article and appreciated its message.
Thank-you for this article, it speaks to my heart. I had the privilege of caring for very ill children and their families in a paediatruc intensive care unit for 20 years. While there I met so many of my heroes. They were ordinary people experiencing profound tragedy coping with this tragedy with dignity, courage and humour.
Yes. <3
Good article. “Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” – Marcus Aurelius
I liked that Emily’s article was researched. The numbers behind her conclusions add weight to what she is saying, and I agree with her! I like that both Emily and you, Joshua, note that fulfillment often comes when NO ONE is looking at you or recording your doings on FB, that fulfillment is a result of being focused on loving others instead of others loving our social profile.
I very much enjoyed this article, and I did read the full article in the New York Times. I look forward to reading “Power of Meaning”. I just want to point out the authors name is Emily, not Elaine.
The people I know who make the most significant contributions to others lives, say the least about it. The Lord called us to be ‘faithful in the little things’. And, Voila!, before you know it, you’ve been faithful in the big ones: family, friendship, and service to those in need.
I really appreciated your reassurance that it’s ‘OK’ to be a normal person doing little things to make a difference in the lives of those closest to us.
Beautifully put, It makes me sad to read all about everyone’s lives like they were in a tabloid. Any more I do not read the things people comment on because it is so negative. But I love to read inspiring pieces like this. I think we can all use a dose of humility and realize that it is not all about us but is about helping and loving others.
This is perfect timing. I just started a blog and it’s only been a week but I’ve been beating myself up over the barely-there reactions I expected to get. I always compared myself to others, but I know I need to stop and internalize that my progress can’t be based on others’. :)
This is a very profound article. I wish that the whole world would read it and change their way of life. Love and respect for our fellow man is the corner stone of civilised life.
I recently have had the opportunity to spend some time with a 94 year old lady who is facing death in the near future. She has become my hero in the short time we have known each other. She is cheerful and kind and never complains about her trials. I only hope I can be half the woman she is!
Nice feature, but Did Emily write the article or Elaine? there are two references is this piece making it confusing to me.
Thanks. I have corrected the incorrect citation.
What?! You mean I’ll never be one of the Incredibles who save the world every week?! Good reminder. Meaning is found in God’s gift and his goodness all around us.
Your words ring truth. I always remember the phrase “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel”
With the internet and over 500 cable channels (I lost count LOL). Information and misinformation travels fast.
It’s good to remember we all have positions to play in the game of life. All positions are equally important even if popular culture deems some mundane. Despite that fact we all need to play our positions well. The important people in our lives and the universe is counting on us to do so.