“I am not concerned that you have fallen. I am concerned that you arise.” —Abraham Lincoln
Life is never, always a comedy. At times, it is tragedy.
Life is experienced as a constant, never-ending shift between successes and failures—sometimes occurring within moments of one another. To be human is to fail. We know this to be true from personal experience.
We experience hardship both because of our faults and because of the faults of others.
We fail in the small things: staying on a diet, running a 5k, keeping a New Year’s resolution, or controlling clutter in our homes. We fail in the larger things: overcoming an addiction, finding employment, or holding on to an important relationship. And sometimes our failures negatively impact the rest of our lives: keeping a marriage together, persuading a child to make better choices, or overcoming a lifetime of debt.
But in each setback—whether small or large—we find opportunity for growth. And as long as a glimmer of hope remains, so do we.
Some of the most influential people in my life have cemented their legacy through their failures. This should come as no surprise. After all, some of the most inspirational stories ever written (or lived) center on personal triumph over weakness or loss. As one screen writer once told me, “If the hero in your story does not experience tragedy, the audience will never relate to him or her.”
Failure is a necessary part of life. We would be wise to allow it to change us and shape us. How then, can each of us redeem failure for good?
An Encouraging Guide to Overcoming Failure
1. We admit that we experience it. Despite the universality of failure, our world goes to great lengths to hide it. People always have and people always will. Our default position too often is to downplay our weaknesses, but those who find growth in failure begin by simply admitting its existence in their lives.
2. We recognize failure is common. And because we know all experience it, we find comfort knowing we are not alone in it.
3. We look for personal responsibility. Our initial tendency is often to blame others or uncontrollable, external factors. After all, to admit defeat is to admit defeat. But rarely are the failures in our lives entirely the responsibility of someone else. And until we take personal responsibility in some capacity, we can never move on to the next step.
4. We process our weakness. Socrates once said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” This holds true in both success and failure. When failure occurs, which it always will, the wisest of us journey inward to determine the cause and intentional steps we can take to learn from the experience. And in time, we learn to champion humility.
5. We let go of the factors outside our control. One of the most hope-filled moments in life is when we find the courage to let go of what we cannot change.
6. We grow through pain. We live in a society passionately committed to avoiding pain. But there is benefit to be found in discomfort. While I would never encourage anybody to intentionally seek pain through failure, it will arise. And when it does, it will be okay. In fact, it will teach us things we could never learn elsewhere: patience and perseverance for example.
7. We forgive. If our pain is partly a result of someone else’s failures, we find freedom in forgiveness.
8. We turn to others. Nobody successfully navigates life alone. When the hope inside us begins to fade, we look for it in others. We turn to family. If family is not available, we turn to friends. And if friends are not available, we look for intentional communities around us to find support.
9. And then, we share our stories. It may not happen right away—some failures take longer to process than others. But eventually, we find opportunity to share our story. When we do, we share it with honesty and humility. Through it, we discover opportunity to provide hope, strength, and encouragement to others. We find influence for good. And we begin to make sense of our failings.
Failure is never the end. It is instead, a necessary part of the journey. May we keep hope alive. And find redemption through it.
The situation has become so depressing for me . I am so damn confused , filled with guilt. Now I don’t have the guts to face my parents. I know what
my entrance exam result is gonna be. But its a WAKE UP call for me, its time for me to rise up and make things right afterwards . Its not the circumstances responsible for our failure. What we give is what we receive. If others can become successful , so can we. We just have to be focused, very strictly determined and loyal towards our “DREAM”.
We will have to become positively stubborn to pursue our DREAM. If we still don’t change who we are, we should not expect SUCCESS in our lives. Always remember friends ” YESTERDAY IS HISTORY, TOMORROW IS A MYSTERY, BUT TODAY IS A GIFT, THAT IS WHY IT IS CALLED PRESENT. “
Nothing is permanent in life. Don’t worry. Why are you feeling sad ? Failures are part of life. If you don’t fail, you don’t learn. If you don’t learn, you’ll never change. Failure is not the opposite of success, it’s a part of success. Learn from failure, don’t worry for failure.
I feel that i’m failing my parents and it’s killing me. They have given me all the tools to succeed and I just keep failing. I feel so guilty and ashamed.
Hi Reema
Don’t despair I am a parent as well believe me as a parent we never look at your failures or success all we want is for our children to be happy.I have a daughter that is also having difficulty in finding a job after all the hard work and little sleep she has still not found a job, no matter what she achieves not does not achieve the fact that she tried and still keeps trying makes her a winner.
Never should any parent look at their children for what they achieve but for how appreciative they are to them and God
Do not be ashamed my child
I fail many times in my life but I hope that one day Itouch the world????????☝????
I have not qualified my nda written exam for 2nd time and I find myself so worthless.I am caught in a dilemma of whether to continue my study or not.My Father thinks that I am a dumbass.My mother feels that I can still do much good.What is the best i can do
I was advised that, “It’s okay to at the bottom because there is no lower you can get. The only thing you can do is climb”. Wow, it sure feels good to encourage someone; especially when you are experiencing a beating in life. Hey let us embrace life for what it’s worth. While do so, make Christ the center of it all. Remember “there is no crown without a cross, God bless you world!!”
iam a entrance student.. iam really feeling so low now cos i didn’t complete ma syllabus .i feel like hiding some where were no one will see me…my parents are expecting lots.but i Noe i won’t be able to what they are expecting .the exm is two days away .what will i do now .i dnt want to go home .iam feelng so guilty ma parents have faced lots of problems for me n here iam such a useless daughter .i don’t Noe y i don’t feel like studying .if any one Noe such tips then plis e.mail me at :yayangcute777@ gmail .com i feel like its the end of my world such so depressed situation ..iam just a useless human being .don’t Noe y iam here..iam regretting so much in ma life .i wish i could revise the time. i have loss all the respect DAT i used to get before n i want that respect again …to tell the truth i was a very good student before ..i always stood 1st in the class BT soon i began to change how i didn’t Noe….??? i started bunking classes , started dating,enjoying with frens n so on……after dome time i relised my mistake but it was too late …i CNT be that obidient girl again ……i tried to change myself into my previous form but i cant ….!!!i cant be dat girl again …..its really very sad you noe ….i want to be serious in my studies again!!please give me some advice …i noe it was my mistake….!!!!
Hey I am also a hostel student and my all room mates are very very different. I was very exhausted by seeing their life style. And also the environment was very uneasy . But someone has said ‘if you can’t change the direction of wind then adjust your sail to reach your destiny every time. ‘ Now I have adjusted myself in that environment .So it turned easy for me . Dear the problems will also occur if you leave the job . So my suggestion is be thankful to god for what you have this time because many are struggling for this at the same time. And do your best by changing these problems into opportunity to do your best and reach the day.
I got a job 6 months back in a top mnc..after training I have been posted in nagpur. Nothing is right here .My current roommates are very much different from me..work stress and then adjustments with my roommates everyday is becoming very difficult for me. Currently I have no option to shift as well since I have spent a lot for the broker charges and all. Thinking about leaving my job but everyone is suggesting that leaving a job would not be a wise decision .I am not quite accustomed with this hostel kind of life plus the area where I live here has very costly wifi plans so none of my roomates are willing to take that.Life is very very boring here .I even applied for a transfer but that is only possible after 2to 3 years. Feeling miserable..what should I do ‘Dont be childish ..you should learn to adjust’ that is what I am hearing from everyone..is there something wrong with me only?? please suggest
I feel like I’m going to fail a competitive exam that would help me for postgraduation ( the only choose in my country). I’ve undertaken a coaching for an year spending my parents money. I feel I’m failing them rather than me. They have kept lots of hope in me. I feel guilty of me imagining me with bowed head in front of them. I’ve dropped a job offer and chose this. Now I’m in a state of emotional breakdown and feels offended for cheating my parents. I don’t think I can come over. I always wanted to screw this exam. I can’t stay at home as a failure. Can I be helped?
Even I have written an exam for post-grad and tomorrow Im gonna get my results.I ruined it due to some factors which were completely out of my hand.I feel so bad because I worked so hard and I know I deserve it,but there is nothing I can change. And my parents too have spent a lot of money on this.I have spent a lot of my time in this too. All I know is I may not make it through this exam but all the knowledge I’ve gained,all the hard work I did,it will surely pay back sometime in my future.So I’m gonna forget the doors that have closed and move forward with the doors that have opened for me.
Abdulkalam aimed to develop Our country India as well developed country I take his dream as my dream that I will develop a India as well developed country hard work never fail on my life and hope
Remember life is all about a second chance…now it’s not important if you pass this exam or not,all that matters is what you’ve realised,and once you realise your mistake, life gives you a second chance.you need not bow down in front of your parents, you can face them with a smile and let them know you’ve realised something more important than passing an exam. You are not a failure,life has not termed you as a failure, you yourself have it a name.life still treats you as a winner…! Last but not the least, don’t work or don’t study because parents have kept some hope on you.Study because they will need your hope and support when they grow old. And the end of the day they are your parents and no matter what they will love you unconditionally. Now it depends on you,how you want to imagine their future,when they do not need money,name or fame but all they require is someone’s support and love! :)
All the best….keep going :)
Well if you don’t fall, you ll never know your true worth and inner strength, will to act. You will find people who support you even in your failure. BTW even I went through what you stated. I am pursuing CA. SO failure is always an option.
A beautiful quote by one of the legends of basketball, ‘I have missed 9000 shots in my career,lost more than 300 games, and 26 times when trusted to take the winning shots, missed them. I have failed over and over and over again and that is the reason I succeed.
Hi Joshua, thanks for your article and I am feeling some motivation and feeling much better after reading your article. I has been battling with anxiety and panic attack caused by employer whom I worked for 17 years last 2 months. I was humiliated, accusation for any wrong doing, intimidating me into argument and excludes in business discussion.
I have decided to leave this company for good and as I believed GOD has better plan for me.
I have 8 siblings and I am the second in the family. I work so hard and push my limits to help them to have a good life but most of them they just fail me and seems they are not motivating themselves to make their life better. I even go to other country just to get a better opportunities for them .I feel so much burden and I feel like wasted my time and investment in their future. It is my choice that I have even sacrifice my life . I support them educate but they fail me. I feel so broken for them. and this is my failure if I stop supporting them encouraging them I feel like their lives is getting nowhere or even worst.
hi Im Ranier, a theology student… i failed one of my subject…. from the subject in scriptures. what shall i need to do? i feel despair
I have failed in my career as a public school teacher. It has taken me 5 full years of negative thoughts and overwhelming stress to realize this. My father is a very controlling and intimidating, yet kind and loving person who mentally and emotionally forced me into this career. I have only recently acknowledged that I am in control of my destiny and have made the decision to quit this career in pursuit of something better suited to my personality. It is a difficult time because my wife and i wish to have a child and as we all know, money is necessary. She has a stable job which she loves, but it doesnt pay enough for the two of us, let alone with a child. I am confident in my abilities and my personality to overcome this failure, however. We are intending and have taken small steps to move toward a minimalist lifestyle and I have a former job that I loved in a daycare center that my old boss said i can return to. Your blog is very inspiring as are all the comments here. Thank you.
Thank you so much for the tips ! I’ve had disappointment since I can remember! Whenever I fail i get stopped and make more failures ! but i wanna read this txt every single day so it sticks in my mind that failure is not an odd thing! but it’s something that necessarily happens to every living person
Yesterday evening I attended an interview which has gone so so., Some of the answer I knew, I could not answer properly. Since then I have a feeling of failure. Generally I am a positive attitude person, but I don’t know why I am depressed. I have gone through the article, It will help me yo overcome . Thank you
Nicely written stuff to accept the failure and keep on trying to overcome it. Thanks Joshua!!!
Absolutely amazing reading with wonderful comments from wonderful people.
thank you so much,so inspiring,
now I know that I am not alone in this world facing failures in life.
when I read this article I cant help it,but my tears falling and it ease what I feel. I felt like some one comfort me.
Thank so very very much!
Robin
Now I’m motivated.
Olá, estou muito motivado depois de ler esse artigo.
Obrigado.
Refreshing and inspiring…
very good advice to follow thanks
everybody in my class passed their final exams except me now I have to write it again next year…feel like ending my life
Your life is worth so much more than exams. I know tjat I dont know you, but we are all beings living on this Earth together. Unfortunately we live in a society that places unreasonable expectations on people and usually only values production, and not intuition or ideas. But realizing this and knowing we are not alone in not accepting the status quo can help everyone who shares these feelings to move forward together. You are not a failure. Let yourself be and you will find your passion in life. If you have already found it, pursue it with all your energy. I too have felt the way you feel now, it will pass and you will be stronger.
Good timing, some nice reminders. I think the only thing that might be missing is recognize failure as a way of saying you might be going on the wrong path. Turn around. Try something else. This isn’t working.
Thanks.
Rob
Thanks a lot for giving a inspiration in right time with your words…..I hope for best….let me make a meaningful next chance
This is helpful article for me in failure to take responsibility on myself instead of blaming others.
Life is series of Ups and Downs we need to take it positively.
today i have failed at my physics exam…i think i am not the man worth living …please help me!
I slept through a physics course – every day I would use that time as my nap time. Naturally, I failed that course.
The next year, I took the same course and got an A+ in it – I can now look back and laugh at it.
Do that Asif, and take physics next year again.
There is very helpful for those people battling with depression cause by failure.I’m one of it!!!
After reading this blog, it enlightens my soul.
Thank you!