Note: This is a guest post from Lama Farran, a Certified Money Coach.
Having guided numerous families and individuals on their quest to pay off debt, I wondered about the characteristics which make them succeed on this path. Why are they able to successfully follow-through with their commitment to get out of debt when others fail at it?
After some reflection, I was able to pinpoint the 8 following behaviors which make them more prone to pay off their debts:
(For simplicity, I will refer to them as The Debt Slayers in this article).
1. They are goal-oriented and have a clear focus.
One of the first exercises Debt Slayers do before starting to pay off their debts is they define their SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound.
Without them, people are left shooting in the dark. Would you get in your car and expect your GPS to get you to a specific destination without entering an address? Probably not. The same applies to money.
Debt Slayers are goal-oriented. They are clear about the path that lies ahead. They know how they are progressing and how much they have left before they get there.
2. They take steps to change auto-pilot spending habits.
Human beings are creatures of habit. We get comfortable in our ways and routines. As a result, it requires specific self-awareness to get off the auto-pilot mode.
When it comes to spending, we tend to: pick up the same coffee every morning; keep the same gym membership; automatically renew our home and car insurance; pick up the same take-out for dinner in the evening; buy gifts for everyone we know during the holidays because “that’s just the way it is.”
Debt Slayers are not afraid to stop and ask themselves the real reasons behind their spending: Is it out of habit? Laziness? Boredom? Stress? Social pressure? Or something else?
They’re comfortable getting off the auto-pilot spending mode. They are conscious about where and WHY they’re spending their money.
3. They work hard to identify the difference between needs and wants.
Debt Slayers don’t easily fall for advertisements purposely designed to make someone feel like they need the advertised product. For example, they know that clothing and shelter are definite needs. However, buying the latest trends of shoes and clothes, or having a bigger house than required are simple wants.
Debt Slayers are able to dig deep and honestly ask themselves if their purchase is a must-have or a nice-to-have.
4. They don’t “Keep up with the Joneses.”
The Joneses are not only your next-door neighbors and your close friends, but also your 500 friends on Facebook and Instagram.
Debt Slayers are aware that everybody else’s life looks plentiful on social media or when observed from the outside. However, they do not let the vacation pictures of friends or strangers derail their desire to become debt-free.
Some choose to simply limit their exposure to social media, knowing very well its negative effect on spending. Others stay on social media but with the added awareness not to allow it to affect their debt-free goal.
5. They communicate openly, honestly, and regularly about finances with their partner.
It is difficult to pay off your debts as a family if you are not on the same financial page as your partner. Once money becomes a topic that does not trigger fights and arguments, things will go more smoothly.
Debt Slayers perceive debt repayment as a common project to tackle together. Efforts are coordinated to move forward, just like a team paddling a canoe in-sync to move it fast and straight.
They also have regular, honest, and judgment-free money conversations. Finger-pointing is replaced with productive problem solving, especially when they hit bumps on the “debt-free road.”
6. They are patient and disciplined.
Debt Slayers know there is no magic wand that makes debt disappear. It takes a considerable amount of patience and consistent actions on a daily basis.
They do not get discouraged at the amount of time it’s taking them to become debt-free. They remind themselves how far they’ve already come. They focus on their daily efforts, knowing that, in the end, they will add up to a significant feat.
The process is indeed very similar to losing weight. No magic pill has yet been invented to shed weight overnight. The magic ingredients lie within: patience, discipline, and commitment.
7. They find ways to have fun while paying off their debts.
Who wants to live a life based on a restrictive way of being? Not Debt Slayers!
They know that debt repayment is their priority and they derive great joy from seeing it getting reduced. Nevertheless, they still find ways to have fun and celebrate milestones.
People have different notions of what fun is: to some, it may be a fancy candle-lit home-made dinner; to others, it could be attending a concert or going on a weekend getaway. So it’s essential to have something fun to look forward to.
Just like an extremely restrictive diet is bound to fail after some time, paying off debts without ever allowing yourself to have fun will also be doomed.
8. They are not afraid to ask for help.
Some perceive asking for help as a sign of weakness. But Debt Slayers know that properly managing money does not come naturally to everyone. So they guiltlessly ask for help because they see it as a sign of determination to make things better.
Help can come in many forms: it can be joining a Debtors Anonymous group, a Facebook support group or working one-on-one with a money coach. Help normally comes with accountability and support, which can increase the chances of success.
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Lama Farran is a Certified Money Coach and an aspiring minimalist, living a debt-free life. Her mission is to help individuals and families achieve financial peace of mind by focusing on the behavioral and emotional sides of money. She also provides practical financial guidance to help her clients become empowered and lead more fulfilling lives. You can claim your free copy of her money guide at Max Worth.
Richard Furleigh says
Some exceptional advice here for people looking to make a change with their finances. I know for my wife and I these things thankfully seem to come relatively easy. My biggest personal struggle has been with #7; I find myself wanting to go grab a soda or eat out more often than our budgeting allows and reminding myself of the bigger picture sometimes isn’t enough. Thankfully my wife is good at helping remind me of these things better than I am of thinking of them on my own(#8)!
Best of luck to everyone out there with this one, it’s a hard struggle!
Jo says
When I think of eating out I picture myself sitting at the table and eating THAT food. Eating out is a social thing. Most of the time I decide to eat the food I have and I enjoy at home.
John says
Communication between spouses is a big one. I know couples where one is thrifty and the other enjoys retail therapy. Fortunately my wife and I are on the same page. Our only weakness is books!
Surly says
Thank you for a wonderful article! It’s refreshing to read an article that supports our choices. In a society where living on credit is so common we sometimes feel like odd ducks. My husband and I are debt slayers we are focused on our goals, we discuss our progress and choices regularly. We value experiences over possessions and don’t feel like we miss out at all. Well I suppose we miss out on all the stress that many of our friends experience from living beyond there means. That’s one experience I’m happy to do without ????
laura ann says
Surly: Even some retirees are “odd ducks” like us, but many still stay in debt and overspend on g’kids, etc. charging stuff. We live low key, have traveled much over the years, now we enjoy local parks and outdoor activities. We eat at mom and pop places avoiding the big chains and watching the grocery sales. We both worked, didn’t raise a family and put away money for early retirement. People way past retirement age are still working as they are in debt. How much stuff do people need anyway? Do kids and g’kids need tons of useless stuff? My g’parents never loaded us kids down with stuff, just sent us money for b’days.
Julie Torres says
This is a great post, thank you for sharing this. We are paying two university educations right now while saving and investing in our retirement. We have struggled at times with continuing to have fun while doing so. Hit home!
Victoria Richter says
Wonderful information. How do we share via Facebook (or social media)?
joshua becker says
There are buttons to easily share at the bottom of the post. Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest are included. Just click and share. Thanks!
Jennifer @ Enjoying Our Days says
I see myself in some of these traits, but I still need to work on others. Gives me some things to think about…thank you!
Professor says
Great post. Simple. Especially your last point.
I see this all the time in the classroom and on campus ~ people are just way too hard on themselves. We’re human. Mistakes are made. The big secret is — just. keep. going. Keeping a list like this ‘top-of-mind’ is very helpful for those times when you get off track.
Thanks again for sharing.
littleblackdomicile bloggere says
Although we are in an industry traditionally associated with the idea of affluence, I’d like to say that a large part of our firm’s success has been working with wonderful clients who are realistic and directed with spending habits. We pride ourselves in promoting the philosophy that good design fits every budget. We have followed Josuha for years and believe the principals he teaches can apply to the homes we live in.-Laurel Bledsoe
Judy says
Pinky Swear is awesome! I love it! :)
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Tony W says
Auto pilot spending is a sore point for me. I have recently become aware of the concept and am guilty of it.
When I calculated the amount I spend automatially without thinking I was floored. I have been working to combat it. Thanks for pointing the concept out.
Rebecca says
This is a nice, gentle blog ☺ very realistic