One reason, I am convinced, we overspend and overbuy is because we expect too much from our purchases.
In a world of instant abs, one-day delivery, and get-rich-quick schemes, we often look for change outside ourselves.
We are told this product or that gadget will solve our problems. That our next purchase will be the solution we’ve been looking for all along.
Additionally, it is much easier to write a check, swipe a card, or click-to-ship than it is to suffer through the hard work of changing ourselves.
As a result, we are quick to believe the lie that we can buy change we desire.
I’ve never been a particularly organized person. And I’ve lived most of my life working to overcome my procrastination tendencies. As you can imagine, I have searched for the perfect purchase (daily planner) to overcome these two tendencies.
When I was in college, I bought the school-recommended assignment notebook to keep me from waiting until the last minute. It didn’t work. The final week of every semester was still spent up late finishing papers and cramming for tests.
When I got my first job, I tried numerous different planners to keep me on track. My boss used a Franklin Covey Daily Planner and I thought he looked pretty cool with it. So I bought one. I loved using that planner… for about 2 weeks. But I quickly slipped back into my old habits of disorganization and procrastination.
Soon after that, I bought a Palm Pilot hoping the electronic device would change my habits and tendencies. It did not.
A new planner did not change my life.
Now, I’m not saying that a planner can’t be helpful. But I am saying that it alone was not going to bring about the change I desired for my life. It was going to take much more work than that.
Change in my life was only going to come when I began to focus on habits and motivations and sought out lasting solutions and accountability. This is the formula for lasting life change—and it can not be circumvented by items at a department store.
I wonder how many purchases we make in life because we believe the purchase alone will bring about the change we desire:
- The exercise bike in the corner we thought would make us fit.
- The juicer in the pantry we thought would make us eat healthy.
- The cookbook in the cupboard we thought would make us lose weight.
- The boat in the driveway we thought would bring our family closer together.
- The hobby we thought we’d pursue.
- The clothes we thought we’d wear.
- The books we thought we’d read.
- The side hustle we thought would make us rich.
There is a fine line I’m trying to walk here. Planners are not bad, exercise bikes are not unnecessary, and not every juicer goes unused.
Sometimes these items are valuable tools. But if we fall into the trap of believing buying something new is going to magically transform us, we are mistaken.
Life change is more difficult than that. It most often begins on the inside, not at a store.
Further reading:
About Joshua Becker
Exercise equipment, cookbook, hobbies, books…. ouch. Many days into isolation they are, for the most part, still untouched. Somehow I don’t feel magically transformed by them anymore, unless of course that magical transformation is I no longer “see” them. I want a refund, haha!
Thanks for a great article!
Be safe :)
This is one of the most powerful pieces on minimalism and self-awareness I’ve ever encountered. I definitely have some regrets around purchases I made with the best intentions.
What a great read! This article is making me rethink how I am doing things personally. I do believe in simplicity for a more healthy life… Mentally.
Can’t wait to read more!
You actually make it seem so easy along with your
presentation however I in finding this matter too be actually something which I think I might
by no means understand. It kind of feels too complicated and ver vast for me.
I’m taking a look forward for your next put up, I’ll try to get
the cling of it!
I loved this article and have shared it on my page about living a more eco lifestyle.
This has been the biggest change to my attitude to spending – why do I want to buy xyz thing, is it to fit in with other people, or because it’s an aspiration towards the life I want?
Since I quit my regular job to live a more self sufficient and low waste life, and to spend more time with the people I care about, my spending habits have changed dramatically.
Thank you for writing this and sharing it with everyone.
I use a two year day planner for various appointments and write down lunch appointments w/ out of town friends. I am retired and use an inexpensive Office Depot planner that fits in purse. Take it to Dr appts to make follow up appt. to write in the time. Husband uses one on his phone. It is easy to lose appt cards and miss appts.
Of course now my fantasy self wants to know what planner you are currently using ;)
Great article. This really hit home with me, not so much with gadgets, but I have so many books on organizing. I spend too much time reading about it and not enough doing the actual work. Thanks for the motivation. It’s just what I needed to read today.
Great article, and so true in my life as well!
This was spot on for me, thank you for sharing.
This is a great article.
When I was little, watching home shopping tv, I used to say, if only we have that juicer, food processor, we will be healthy…
I have that now and never really used it.
If only I have that Hip Hop Abs and Winsor Pilates DVD, I would have a fit body.
I have the DVD but not the fit body.
If only I have this book or program, my life would be so much better,
well I bought the books I wanted to have, yet I never really had the time to open and read them…
It isn’t something you buy…
it starts from the inside….
thank you for sharing…
The cleaning supplies won’t clean for me. The skinny jeans won’t make me skinny. The new bedding won’t make me make the bed.
Wise words, “the change isn’t found in a store”.
Nire, I love your take on the article.
Best wishes,
Angela
Joshua, these are excellent points. I have been pursuing a purposeful life for the last several years, and I’m trying to lead my family as well. However, in our society, everything reinforces the thinking the ‘buy now, be happy’ mentality. I had a conversation last week with my youngest son, who is seven, about buying things for the sake of buying things. I said “you are enough; you have everything you need. Just be you.”
Funny thing: a few years ago I actually jumped on that exercise bike and started that journey. It takes discipline, and I’ve realized the bike wasn’t really necessary. When I wanted to begin to care for my body and mind, I would find a way with whatever I had available.
Excellent article, goes right to the root! When my mother was alive she constantly purchased that next thing to fix whatever! She shopped a lot. Luckily, I do not have the surplus of money to do that but I have purchased some things over the years to fix whatever the issue was at the time. Those things turn into our fantasy self. Now, my husband and I are on this mission together to declutter. We can really live with so much less than we thought, we just didn’t know it.
Enjoyed your post.
Thank you!
Can we see pictures of your home? Rooms, closets, kitchen cabinets, basement and of course your garage… where your whole story began!
Would love to see your minimalist life style!
Calmly, if you sign up for the uncluttered course, Joshua takes you through his home one of the weeks.
It’s a twelve week course.
Best wishes,
Angela
Sorry, I typed Cally, it came out as calmly!
So painful and yet so true. Trying to become a healthier person and it’s more of an insider job that I care to admit. This has really ministered to me.
True to the core Josh, reading it was re living my life so far. Always behind the one gadget or purchase which will bring drastic change in my life, never to be. It has happened so many times but never realised it. Thank you.
This is me. I have purchased so many nutrition and exercise programs. You have to use them to make it work.
Boy this one really hit the nail on the head. I saw myself in many sentences.
Excellent piece, Josh. I have spent most of my adult life pursuing the panacea product that would help me get organized and stay on top of things, but it takes more than a device or product to develop the mind-shift and internal discipline required to make effective and permanent change.
Sono pienamente d’accordo con la tua riflessione. Bisogna innanzitutto partire da motivazione che siano in linea con i propri valori e poi sviluppare abitudini coerenti. Allora si che puoi cambiare la tua vita.
So true, Josh! Thank you for sharing this. Wouldn’t it be nice (in a way) if we could buy our way to the person we want to or know that we should be? I have seen that temptation in my life, but I’ve also seen the results of growing the hard way — through self discipline, repentance when needed, and changing my habits. As you have probably seen, when we work on our character and change who we are, those changes affect more than the one symptom that we knew needed to change.
My first thought of reading this was an essay written by Leo Babauta about You Are Enough.
It is true, tools like planner are made to help us plan better (that’s why it’s called planner).
However, tools are just tools. It can be so much powerful and helpful, only if it is in the right hand.
So it’s always about us.