Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Evelyn Rennich of Smallish Blog.
“Wherever you are, be all there.” —Jim Elliot
Minimalism, at its heart, is focusing time, energy and resources towards more important aspects of life.
For most people, this intentional fixation results in a widespread clearing of clutter. “Life clutter” may take on many forms: physical belongings, technological fillers (such as alarms or apps), non-life-giving calendar items, even unhealthy relationships.
The beauty and allure of minimalism is it produces a sparklingly streamlined life in which priorities are well-ordered and there is room for that which is most important to each person.
For me, this means relationships. My relationships with my family and close friends are paramount, but so many times those closest to us receive our worst because we are over-committed, over-tired and over-stimulated.
Often, our loved ones only receive a fraction of the love, joy, support, humor, or friendship we have to offer because we are distracted. Busy. Stretched too thin.
Minimalism can help us give our best to the people who want to see it most.
The American Chaplaincy uses a term called “ministry of presence.” The idea generally translates to the act of blessing hurting people merely with a presence—by showing up. By being there. By offering tangible support, whether it’s in the form of a hug or a steaming bowl of soup.
I love the concept and name “ministry of presence.” I’d like to tweak the definition a little; let’s think of it more as a daily choice to be intentionally present in relationships.
As we move through each day, it is easy to be physically present but mentally and emotionally elsewhere. You know what that looks like: you might be in the room but disengaged from the conversation or the needs of those around you. Maybe you’re in the house but checked out and browsing online. Maybe it means you’re busy stuff-managing (organizing) again. Maybe it looks like forgetting that a friend has surgery scheduled this week.
In our busy, over-planned, over-stuffed world, it’s easy to forget that every encounter we have with another human being provides the opportunity to bless, to shed light upon, to pay attention to, whether they are in pain or not.
Embracing a simpler, clearer, more pared-down lifestyle can provide the energy and focus needed to concentrate on the people in front of us, whether it’s a dear friend over for coffee or the silky-haired child in my lap waiting for a story.
Less stuff, fewer commitments, and fewer distractions allow my main priority of relationships to shine through.
When life is slower and intentionally styled to value relationships, I am primed to interact better. To actively listen. To offer a fully formed thought instead of an absent-minded “hmmm.” To engage with a little bit of humor. To grasp someone’s hands and share a spontaneous prayer with them. To offer affirmation in the form of direct eye contact. The opportunities to share what you uniquely have to offer are endless.
Minimalism provides room for ministry of presence to be a way of life.
One of my favorite quotes is by a missionary and author Jim Elliot: “Wherever you are, be all there.” That’s ministry of presence. That’s the gift of being truly you, wholly present in every conversation.
Minimalism can clear the rubble to reveal you—able to be all you—fully present in each interaction. The ripples of such a decision will provide a valuable gift to everyone you meet.
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Evelyn Rennich writes about her attempts to live modestly, frugally, and green at Smallish Blog. You can also find her on Twitter.
Heather says
I really needed to be reminded of this. I am a teacher as well as a mom of 2 little girls. I am so driven by to-do lists that I often feel like I am spread too thin. Being present in both mind and body is the best thing I can do for my family and my students.
I love your blog. I have been reading it for awhile now and look forward to seeing how your green house projects turn out.
Evelyn @ Smallish says
Hi Heather! Thanks for commenting. Yes, the house is slooowwwlly getting settled, but we’ve got a ways to go. ;) I’ll share more soon!
Jess Townes says
I love the way you framed attentiveness around minimalism. I just wrote something about being present this morning, but from a slightly different perspective: http://www.onthisnewmorning.com/2015/06/the-speed-of-summer.html?m=1
I’ve been on a path of discarding the superfluous for awhile now, and after reading your essay, I wonder if that process has actually helped my ability to be present. I hadn’t thought of it that way, but I’m willing to bet that it has. Thank you for sharing!
Cheryl says
Thank you for sharing this beautifully written post Evelyn & Joshua. Very timely as well with Elisabeth Elliot (Jim Elliot’s wife) passing just two days ago. We spend a lot of our time of late on helping others, but I never want to miss my child’s smile because I’m browsing Facebook or loose out on a moment of connection with my husband because I’m stressed over stuff. Your post captures perfectly what is at the heart of minimalism and the life I want to live each day.
Evelyn @ Smallish says
Thank you, Cheryl, for your sweet thought. I love that Elizabeth and Jim are finally reunited!
BrownVagabonder says
I love this post because it reminded me to be all there for my relationships, especially with my family. It is sooo easy to ignore the ones we love, because we know they won’t take it too seriously or hold it against us. We have a hard time ignoring our jobs, or our partners, because we fear them leaving us.
I have been focusing a lot on myself this year – self-love is the theme for me. But re-focusing on my family seems like a really good addition to that self-love bit. The more I love my family, the more I love myself.
Rebecca@TheFamilyFinder.Net says
While we have a ways to go pairing down our home and possessions, we have simplified our schedules and day-to-day lives quite a bit. I still struggle to simplify my thoughts though. My brain goes at 100mph all of the time and it causes me to miss parts of the conversation while I am in the middle of playing with the kids. I miss things that are right in front of me because I am off in a daydream or something.
Frustrating!
Evelyn @ Smallish says
Oh Rebecca what a wonderful parallel! I often miss my child’s thoughts because my brain is overloaded with extra thoughts too. For me, journaling once a day helps to “dump” the thoughts out so I can think more clearly… but until I can get the thoughts on paper, it’s a battle to get there! :) Thanks for commenting.
Switch says
Rebecca, you are certainly not alone. I experience the same thing on the father side of the equation … In order to be a good father and husband (active, involved, loving, supportive), I need to spend time with family and be present in those moments, but I also need to work (provide financial support), and stay healthy (exercise, prepare and eat healthy meals, meditate/pray), and volunteer at schools and church, and coach the teams, and on and on. It is challenging, if not impossible, to avoid some “leakage” in the transition … in my case, it takes time to switch my mind from one place to the other, and that creates the sensation that there is no stopping in between.
I too love this observation (“The beauty and allure of minimalism is it produces a sparklingly streamlined life in which priorities are well-ordered and there is room for that which is most important to each person.”), but it presupposes that we not only know what is “most important” and balance the myriad of activities that fall under the umbrella of “most important.”
And that is where I think I struggle, and where the “rubber meets the road” for me. I am finding that my life requires a hard editing that I am unwilling or unable to make at this time, picking in the moment between and/or balancing work, working out, coaching the team, spending time with family.
Evelyn @ Smallish says
Switch, GREAT point. I’ll admit I also struggle with remembering what is most important throughout day-to-day moments. It helps to know it, in my heart in clear bursts of writing, but how I spend my time and energy truly reveals where my priorities lie. It’s a constant struggle! Thanks for sharing. :)
Daisy @ Simplicity Relished says
“Minimalism can help us give our best to the people who want to see it most.”
I love this. I think that minimalism is really not an end in itself; it’s a tool by which we can live the best life possible. And that includes extending ourselves to others!
Evelyn @ Smallish says
Well stated, Daisy!
Katie O'Brien says
Really loved this post!! Life is very busy right now for us and being 9 months pregnant I’m overly-tired more than I’d like to admit. Such a great reminder that my 2yo and husband deserve more attention. I’ve done a lot of work simplifying and embracing a minimalist lifestyle, perhaps this tiring season in my life is encouragement to keep going with more intentional living and living more simply so I can focus on what (and WHO) matters most.
Thanks so much for this beautiful post and shining your light!!
Evelyn @ Smallish says
Thanks for commenting, Katie! I’m right there with you in the oh-so-tiring seasons and I do think that this is when our real priorities are revealed. :) High five!
kariane says
There is wisdom in this. Our presence, our full attention and focus, is truly the most meaningful gift we can give to another person. We’re working to simplify our lives (stuff, schedule, and so on), so we can do just that: be present and enjoy life. I’m writing about our simplification efforts each week here: http://everydaymindfulliving.com/simplify-saturday/
Judy says
Hi Evelyn— I peaked at your blog and it is lovely! My, you are blessed!!! :) :) :) God is so good.
Judy says
Correction—peeked. ; )
Evelyn @ Smallish says
Hi Judy,
Thank you. Yes, yes He is good indeed. :)
Maureen@ADebtFreeStressFreeLife says
It took me many years to realize that stuff wouldn’t make me happy. Now I get to focus on relationships. I just developed a meme yesterday entitled “Own less stuff – Pursue relationships.” Pretty timely!