We live in a culture that is never satisfied and always desires more:
More money. More clothing. More toys. More square feet. More followers.
In fact, in many ways, the pursuit of more defines our entire society:
More power. More wealth. More prestige. More reputation. More sex. More. More. More
But there is a problem with the lifestyle choice of desiring more. When we constantly desire more, we are never satisfied. Because no matter how much we accumulate or achieve, more always exists.
By definition, it is unquenchable.
No matter how much money is in your bank account… there can always be more. No matter how big your house… there can always be more. No matter how many likes on your Instagram post or views on your Tik-Tok video… there can always be more.
When more is the goal, we never fully arrive. It is insatiable. And that is the problem with always wanting more. Happiness and contentment will always elude us if we are looking for it in the acquisition of more.
I suppose, if it was commonplace to see an end to this pursuit, that would be a different story. If human beings eventually arrived at a level of more, and suddenly became content, we could all strive to reach that magical level.
But that is not the example surrounding us. Quite the opposite in fact. Most everybody who acquires more, only continues to pursue it.
We see it in the lives of individuals who amass great fortunes but are not satisfied.
We see it in the world’s largest corporations who continue to pursue greater and greater market share and profits.
We see it in those who acquire power and then work relentlessly to keep it and expand upon it.
In the early 1900’s, John D. Rockefeller was the richest man in the world. He was once famously asked by a reporter, “How much money is enough money?” Rockefeller replied, “Just a little bit more.”
The richest man in the world, not satisfied, still in pursuit of more. More can never satisfy.
Other larger, less anecdotal studies, come to the same conclusion that even the wealthiest among us are never fully satisfied.
Of course, we don’t need to look at the lives of others to understand this phenomenon. One look in the mirror reveals the same motivation inside us.
The average American home has tripled in size in the last 50 years and continues to grow larger and larger. The average American woman owns 4X the amount of clothes as her grandmother, but continues to purchase. The average American home has 300,000 items inside it… and yet Amazon arrives on our doorstep several times each week.
When more is the goal, we will never find contentment. More is always a moving target. Never fully attainable.
We live life with only two options:
1. We can continue to pursue more. We can believe there is a better life waiting if we were just to acquire more money, more property, more fame.
2. We can reject the false notion that more is needed to discover happiness. And we can find contentment in our circumstances and gratitude for the blessings we already possess.
The choice is yours.
As for me, I’ll choose contentment with less.
Reena says
I think using women as an example of having too much clothing is a great example. I don’t find it chauvinistic; I find it very accurate. Sure, more and more men are catching up to women in this aspect, but it’s still a great example. After all, that’s all the article is doing, is giving examples so we can use the information to examine ourselves. Another example is some men and their addiction to golf clubs, fishing gear or grills/smokers, etc. Could this be some women too? Of course, but I’m just giving the example of men. It’s not chauvinism, it’s just telling a story. Crying chauvinism over an example is like the boy who cried wolf. (A boy, not a girl, because that’s how the story goes!). Thank you for the article, I think it hits home with a lot of people, I know it does for me!
Katherine Stott says
My husband and I realized this a few years ago, and we put ourselves on track to stop reaching for the golden ring. The Volvo car seemed so pretentious for me, switching it out for the used Honda Element which suits me and my dogs perfectly. That Volvo name and logo along with other brands entice too many to have “more importance” to others who honestly really don’t give a rip. We sold his too big truck, which was nice…I’m not gonna lie, but we are a one car family now. Life is still good.
I watched my friend and her husband almost lose their minds when their finances changed. I mean, who needs two dining rooms, two living rooms, and three spare bedrooms when it’s just the two of you? Their house was too big, and they had way too much stuff. So, when you have more, you definitely stand to lose more. I never want to be in that situation.
We are almost debt free with the exception of our mortgage, and it’s a good feeling. Freeing our spaces of unnecessary clutter is, well, freeing. I’m giving away so much. I’m not even bothering with listing and selling things. Here…you want it? You must need it more than I do. Ahhhhhh. Weight off my shoulders.
Linda Sand says
I am thrilled to finally have enough of so many things that it feels comfortable to give away my stimulus money to those who actually need to spend it.
I also have a new method of downsizing–I’m getting rid of everything in my life that has the word “should” attached to it.
Jessalynn says
This was a great article. It’s so true! I actually think the Pandemic has helped me to stop wanting more. I learned what is actually needed and I noticed a lot of stuff that wasn’t. I got my vaccines and I thought “I should go to the store cause I can….but what do I need?” I couldn’t think of any reason I needed to go shopping so I didn’t.
Karen Trefzger says
I think our society encourages “emotional shopping”: shopping to get over sadness, boredom, loneliness. Most of us don’t need anything that we can’t get at the local grocery or drugstore, but we shop anyway. I know, because I’ve done it. But learning and practicing (because it takes practice!) gratitude and contentment is so much more fulfilling, and actually handles at least some of those emotional needs too.
Martha G says
I have followed you for a couple years now and continue to be inspired and motivated. I look forward to reading your blog or watching a video.
What began as grieving when my husband died after a long illness has become added joy in my life. I felt great urgency to get rid of the vast amount of medical equipment, supplies, medicine, special foods that seemed to be in every drawer I opened. Then there were things that sparked sad memories that I wanted to donate. There was so much stuff we inherited from our families. After our children took what was meaningful to them, I began a huge decluttering effort that still continues. I absolutely love owning less!!
I have been disabled since I had polio as a young child. Although I was blessed to have a fairly normal active life, as I have aged I have lost more strength than most older people do. One unexpected, amazing benefit for me in a more minimalist lifestyle is I got rid of everything that is too heavy or too large for me to handle. All the top shelves are empty now. There is nothing to trip over. In many ways I feel less disabled than I ever have in my whole life.
I’ve committed to becoming far more intentional in what I buy, choosing to support charities I believe in instead of wasting money on “stuff”. I can’t serve others the way I used to but I can control how I spend the little money I have to help others. You definitely influenced me here.
Sorry this is such a long comment. I am grateful for your inspiration.
Thora Wease, says
I might be a surprising reader, I live a committed life of Ignatian Spirituality although a layperson. It is characterized as a life of Simplicity and Gratitude. The example often used is that if I have Two winter coats, I’m keeping one of them from their true owner. In many ways my life is not as ‘minimalist’ as yours, but with mindful consumption, generosity and gratitude one can find both peace and contentment. It is something I pray for others to find…that and a ways to clean the planet of it’s debris. I’ve always said: The content are wealthy beyond measure; the wealthy are always measuring. Thank you for your excellent magazine.
Lucy says
I think we will always struggle with wanting more. I love this article. It’s helped to shift my perspective of what “more: is for me. I’m now seeking and wanting more peace, more of lee, more family time, more of God etc… Thank you for sharing your insights. Have a wonderful Monday.
Lisa says
Your stories are what help me get going the morning. I enjoy sitting down with my cup of coffee and reading. You give me inspiration to keep moving forward in my journey with minimalism and to practice gratitude and contentment. It doesn’t always come easy for me, but your emails and Weekend reads really push me to do better! Thanks for what you do!!!!
joshua becker says
You are very welcome Lisa. And thank you for these encouraging words.
Alex says
Thank you for your wonderful articles. Truer words have never been spoken! I tell myself almost every day to be thankful for what you do have and appreciate everything afforded you in life.
It’s been my experience, people cannot equate “need” versus “want”. This has resulted in extreme waste and discontentment. I tell my friends, save for what you want, then buy it when you are able. When I grew up, things were repaired and maintained not tossed away. This generation is extremely wasteful, and that in itself is not keeping with good values or economy.
Years ago, I helped a Taiwan business tycoon build a new airline. Being in the airline/aircraft business most of my life, I purchased his aircraft fleet, parts and support services. I literally spent a fortune from the Chairman’s checkbook. Even for a billionaire, the amounts were truly staggering, and starting a new airline is a very difficult and daunting task.
In any event, I asked my friend over dinner when we were sharing a sandwich privately. “How much is enough?”. He replied, “Just want more!”. I knew he would eventually fail as in the airline industry you always had to prepare for an eventual rainy day. After five years, the man went from a billionaire to being totally penniless! This is what greed and ambition can do. I learned from his mistakes.
Jan says
Wanting more…I am applying it to eating. I just can’t seem to get my eating late at night under control. I think, one more scoop of ice cream, one more piece of candy or cookie… yet that one more never satisfied.
Lord help me to be satisfied and not go after more….
joshua becker says
Oh, that is a perfect example! You are so right.