“Change brings opportunity.” —Nido Qubein
Some needed adjustments to our life habits are painfully obvious: we need to get in shape, we need to stop smoking, or we need to get our finances in order. Those life changes are typically easy to notice and are often promoted in our society.
But there are other, equally valuable life improvements available to us that fly a bit out of the mainstream. For various reasons, you don’t hear much about them. But in many cases, they are just as valuable. In fact, sometimes, they even help us address the underlying assumptions in our lives that are leading us to the poor decisions in the first place.
To that end, consider these 12 Unique Life Resolutions/Habits as possible life habits to incorporate.
1. Intentionally laugh everyday. Laughter releases stress, lowers blood pressure, and exercises muscles. More importantly, it changes our outlook on life and brings us joy and hope. It ought to be practiced everyday. Put it on your To-Do List. And give yourself permission to laugh each day… especially during the hopeless days.
2. Practice solitude. Find time alone in quiet on a regular basis. No books, no music, no outside voices. Just you alone with yourself. Your life will never, ever be the same.
3. Make gratitude a discipline. Thank someone or something each day, every day. Gratitude refocuses our attention away from what we don’t have and redirects it towards what we do. As a result, it naturally causes contentment and generosity to spring up in our lives.
4. Stop speeding. You may need to plan in advance or choose to leave a bit earlier. After all, you will be spending more time en route. But slowing down intentionally allows extra opportunity to be with yourself, be present, and enjoy the journey. Life is not a race. Life is not meant to be lived hurriedly rushing from one event to another. It is meant to be enjoyed and savored. And driving slower will remind you of that fact every time.
5. Fast one day each month. There is a reason nearly every religious tradition incorporates the use of fasting (the practice of not eating food for a specific length of time – usually 24 hours or sunrise to sunset). It teaches us self-control, self-denial, and sacrifice. It trains our mind to weather storms and temptation. And it heightens our senses. As a side note: the purpose for practicing fasting may be for spiritual purposes, but it doesn’t have to be… your mind, body, and soul will benefit regardless.
6. Adopt a “Do it Now” mentality. The opposite of procrastination is to simply “do it now” instead. And seeing as how procrastination results in an unnecessary amount of stress in our lives, “doing it now” is an appropriate life habit for many of us to resolve. Make that a new mindset for your life this year. Repeat the mantra often. And then, just do it now – whatever “it” may be.
7. Eat more vegetables. Eating more vegetables is a better, simpler, and often times more measurable approach to your weight loss goal than simply deciding to eat less. Eating vegetables at each meal (or as snacks in-between them) naturally reduces the amount of unhealthy food that we put into our bodies. Additionally, it gives us more energy, more self-esteem, and more opportunity to fight off illness and disease.
8. Read classical books from different centuries. Books that have lasted centuries tend to do so for a very good reason: they contain wisdom. They speak to timeless human truths that bind us together. Though our culture and world look entirely different today than they did 200 years ago, the human spirit is still the same. Life still includes sorrow, joy, hope, and trial. And we would benefit greatly from rediscovering how men and women approached life hundreds of years ago.
9. Remove pornography. Pornography limits our capacity to appreciate the real world and the people within it. It clouds our mind with unrealistic and unhealthy assumptions about sexuality and our relationships with others. Because of that, it never fully satisfies its consumer, but always leaves them desiring more. Sacrifice the temporal pleasure of pornography for a life that can better appreciate the simply joys of the people and relationships around you right now.
10. Go to bed earlier. Changing just the first hour of your day changes the remaining 23. And the best way to change the first hour of your day is to get a good night’s sleep. So make a practice this year to move your bedtime up. You may just be surprised at how that small change will naturally benefit other areas of your life.
11. Give to a charity. Pick a cause that you believe in strongly: poverty, education, orphan care, animals, or the environment (just to name a few). And then, write a check. You’ll be glad you did. They’ll be glad you did. The cause they serve will be glad you did. And if you can spread that much joy by filling out a check, just imagine the joy you’ll spread if you volunteer your time and talents.
12. Date your spouse. Take your spouse/partner on a date at least once per month. You’ll have fun. You’ll reconnect. Your union will be stronger because of it. And if you think it’ll cost a bunch of money, you’re just not being creative enough.
Make no mistake. While I have intentionally tried to develop each of these habits in my life at some point in the past, I don’t intentionally practice each of them today (some still come more naturally than others). And my desire is not that these resolutions would be considered a 12-step secret to solving life.
Instead, my desire is that we would simply consider implementing one of them today… and find a better life because of it.
petrichore says
A thought-provoking list! I especially liked the point you made about getting more sleep–that one really hit home…..
minima/maxima, a blog about minimalist style
joanna | 365declutterchallenge says
I like the idea of fasting, though I prefer not to use food as the item to fast with. I like to use items like my cell phone, or experiences like air conditioning and eating out. This helps me to focus on realizing that I can live without the material things in life. I’ve never met anyone who didn’t go through an unhealthy binge after they’ve had a food-fast and that makes it not the best choice for me. But if it works for others that’s great!
Alix says
Good point, Joanna! There can be many kinds of fasts, each with its own particular benefits.
Cheryl says
Yes, this is a very good idea, Joanna. I was just thinking that my husband and I should practice not getting on our computer, say on Sundays, for starters. He is always working on business, and I love to sit and read every morning – both good things, but not balanced in our lives. This morning I’m thinking, what were days like before computers?
Gip @ So Much More Life says
I was going to do what I usually do and mention the two or three numbered points that I most agree with or relate to, but they’re all good on this list. If pressed, I guess it’s 1, 2, 3 and 12 that make the most difference in my life. I don’t really do 5 or 8.
As usual, a great job.
Gip
Nicole says
This post will easily become one of your top posts of 2012 :-) You’ve hit the ground running Joshua! I’ve bookmarked this as I bookmarked your list of minimalist quotes through the centuries. I’m tackling going to be an hour earlier at the moment – all the other points are great reminders and/or food for thought which I look forward to revisiting. Playing scrabble today with my 8 year old ticked the laughter box as she somehow amassed a score of 364 to my teeny 126. There may have been some cheating going on!
Lorilee @ Loving Simple Living.com says
great list! I wanted to second your reply comment above about romance novels also being a problem. I think lots of times expectations are seen as a man thing, but the ‘porn’ can go both ways and can affect either way. Comes down to ‘joy comes from loving the life your in’.
I am with Courtney in wanting to hear more about the fasting. I have read lots about the health benefits and have tried juice fasting…. but it is sure hard.
Hope on Hope says
Great list and not too overwhelming. Small changes, big rewards. Don’t you think we’d all feel more hope-full after adopting these habits?
Hope on Hope
Courtney Carver | Be More With Less says
Joshua, I’d love to hear more about how your monthly fasting.
joshua becker says
Sure Courtney. I’ll elaborate on the practice sometime in the future with a post. It’s probably a bit long for a comment reply anyway. For me, it’s a spiritual practice – though I believe there is benefit in it regardless of spiritual persuasion.
Marissa M says
Joshua,
Have you written on fasting since this comment?
If so, I’d love to read it.
Thanks for all of your very inspirational posts :)
M²
J says
Hey, thanks for post. Coincidentally, about 6 months ago I experimented with reading mostly “older” books; for every 4 books I read 3 of them have to be 50 years or older. It has worked out really well, I’ve discovered some pretty great books that way (I was motivated to do this after reading Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, and Epicurus; I realized what I was missing!).
Could I aks you to elaborate more on #2 (solitude). I spend 1-2 hours every day in what I consider solitude, but it’s mostly me and a book. Are you referring to meditation?
Amanda says
I think solitude means just sitting and actually taking a look at the things around you without the influence of other people, moods or music. Like listening to the wind or watching clouds scud by or watching children play in the park. Or maybe its just you in your room with your thoughts. It helps us notice and appreciate the simplest things.
Jetsyn says
Your posting really stairhgteend me out. Thanks!
joshua becker says
I wouldn’t make the case that meditation and solitude are synonymous, but they are closely related. When I speak of solitude, I speak of finding opportunity to listen to the inner voices in our lives and the motivations in our heart.
Sven Eisold says
All of them are good except the pornography one. What is wrong with pornography? It does nothing you claimed. Are you a right winger?
Pornography can expand your mind as well as your partners. I think you should keep your own crazy biases out of otherwise sound information.
Megyn @ Minimalist Mommi says
Sven,
As someone in a pornography-affected marriage, I can honestly attest that the pornography can result in such scenarios. It was a problem in my marriage and is an issue with the vast majority of women I know. I think Joshua’s view has nothing to do with being prude, but with honestly looking at how such items can affect us on a deeper level. Granted, it will not affect everyone in the same way, but generally speaking, it rarely does much to enhance a real relationship.
emma says
absolutely and well said.
Fred Bouwman says
I think another great point relevant today is,
Don’t argue on the internet. :)
Korenna says
Good one Fred Bouwman!
Alyssa says
I concur. Pornography is a very personal thing. It can affect some people poorly an hurt marriages, as the above poster said, or it can enhance relationships. I’m not sure what kind of agenda comes with mentioning that on an otherwise great list. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth to see something so personal to each individual mentioned in a list designed to fit everyone.
Aurora says
I whole heartedly agree.
Jim Reed says
Alyssa, you couldn’t be more wrong, porn destroys everyone who becomes involved in it. If you break it down porn is nothing but lusting for a sexual relationship with someone you don’t even know. It creates a perverted view of what sex is all about. It allows the person to have an imaginary sexual relationship with an picture for a few minutes, no love. And as you sink deeper into porn, you need more and more stimulus to create a thrill, it’s like drug addiction. It leads to all sorts of perversion and makes you incapable to have a true loving relationship with another human being. If you don’t believe me, ask anyone who is trying to escape porn addiction.
Bev says
I agree with porn that has a long lasting effect. I deal with this addictuon and it usually when I am stressed. Time to follow this change in 2016.
joshua becker says
Sven,
We can certainly disagree on this topic. I do realize that I’m in a minority on this issue. But in my experience, I’ve seen enough marriages/relationships ruined by unrealistic expectations (attributed to pornography and/or romance novels) that I think it’s a resolution worthy of consideration – one that is not usually mentioned.
Joshua
Kate a.k.a. The Secret Goddess says
Joshua –
I love that you included romance novels in the same category as pornography! As someone who once read A.LOT of romance novels I can well attest to their power to distort your unconscious expectations in a relationship negatively.
emma says
I wonder if that’s why I always disliked those stupid books. quite like the idiocy of porn. to each!
Frank|Modern Monkey Mind says
One of my new years resolutions was to give up porn, written or images, even before I read this post. I think the problems with it are legion, and no, I’m not a prude or any such thing. Sex is a healthy form of bonding when practiced between two consenting parties, and is undervalued when simply seen as reproduction, as well as simply recreation. I think the proliferation of romance novels and porn speak to an overarching loneliness and sense of disconnection we are feeling as a species. It has been there for the entire history of the human species, but I think it is exacerbated by technology. We are looking for intimacy and love, but, though porn may offer sexual release, neither will EVER be a substitute for the actual act, being held/holding a loved one, or a simple face to face conversation.
Benjamin Krawec says
At the very least it is a huge waste of time that ultimately does nothing positive for you and can lead to addiction.
Somraj says
hey completely agree. pornography or graphic visual depiction of sexual action is not only a waste of time but anti nature. Man is essentially an animal. Difference is we are perennially sexual in nature. but to reform sexuality from a procreational movement to recreational movement in itself is degenerating to the organism, wasteful with no valued existential purpose. its a bottom less pit. a dead end. unless you follow william blake’s philosophy: the path of excesses leads to the tower of wisdom!
Katy says
I think that it would be more appropriate to talk about removing false depictions of sexuality and love from everyday life – from the Disney princesses and romantic comedies to the most explicit pornography. This also accounts for the fact that, like junk food or junk television, occasional consumption of these things is not inherently unhealthy if taken in moderation and the understanding that they are fictional, and not a reflection of reality.
I say this as a younger woman who despises romance novels/rom-coms and watches a short pornographic video about once a month on average, and has never had issues regarding pornography but *has* been influenced by a lifetime of “boy rescues damsel in distress” movie storylines.
What society lacks is a healthy understanding of love, relationships and sexuality.
Khalil says
Include the romance novels in that list and you have a winner!
Audrey says
Pornography ruined my first marriage. The man I’m married to now stays away from it because it ruined his first marriage too. I think too many men like to justify doing it. I think it’s only healthy for people to stay away. I’m glad it’s on the list.
Lisa says
Pornography degrades humanity – Not just the person who is doing the watching but also the persons being watched.
mylady says
Buying and watching porn supports an industry that no one would like for their daughter or son to be associated with. Giving it up is for the greater good, even if it doesn’t negatively affect YOUR family. It’s the same reason why I’m against drugs. Some people argue that it can have positive results, more peace, healing properties, etc; however, it supports an industry that no one would like for their child to be involved in, yet someone’s kid is. It’s the same reason we should try to avoid all things made in China. It’s for the greater good. Buying things in China would help MY family most, but it doesn’t help the people that suffer to make it or the people that are underpaid to sell it. It’s not a part of a quality life.
Happiness is not directly seeking your own satisfaction (the Paradox of Hedonism), but it’s caring about others. You can minimize and do everything for yourself, but you will find that at the end it is just pointless. You can’t achieve happiness by only thinking about you and yours. At the root of every problem in the world is selfishness, so if you are not against it, you are part of the world’s problems in some way. You may think living without the things I mentioned would be contrary to your happiness, your well-being, your satisfaction, but in the end, you will see that the lifestyle against selfishness has the most purpose and the most joy.
Michele says
Beautifully said mylady! Conscious consuming – thinking about the impacts in the supply chain, is definitely the way to make the world a better place – for EVERYONE. I love your idea of thinking “would I want that for my own child?” Perfect!!!
Lisa says
Thank you.
sunny says
If you don’t like someone’s advice, don’t follow it. He has a right to write his opinion on his own blog.
claire arsenault says
porn denigrates and objectifies women. … just substitute in your mind a loved female providing titillation for men to jack off to. also, consider this: porn is on the lower end of the violence-against-women spectrum. sad society – get the kama sutra if you want some new ideas!!
David says
I don’t take a moral or religious stance regarding pornography.
But I do believe it’s an “evolutionary sin” in the sense that a sex drive is meant to have us connect us with a real live human being, not a computer screen. It seems that as a society we are inventing more and more things that ultimately lead us to avoid human interaction.
B says
What is wrong with Pornography? Here is what is wrong with it? How do you think it comes to be that you get to see this stuff? These people are actors who typically are used, not paid the same as other actors, are often pimped out, degraded as humans so the directors can make a profit. They have no health coverage, and are battered, starved and forced to eat things so that the film goes the way it was planned. Often there is no safe sex, and women are patronized frequently. All so you can get off, I can go on,
Unbelievable.
Betty says
Pornography destroyed my family in so many ways, I don’t have the time or space to list here. My father was addicted to S&M porn, spent money we didn’t have, to purchase magazines, videos, etc. My siblings and I were exposed to it too, because he left it laying around. It definitely does something to your head, when you walk in to see your father masturbating to porn! I’m 65 years old and still can’t get some of the vial images out of my head!! Spent many years in counseling, as did my siblings.
Lisa says
So sorry to hear about experience. I hope you will find healing someday.
Korenna says
Am I the only one who was surprised to see “porn” even on the list? Is it so prevalent in our society that it makes the top 12 things to make your life better? Holy Smoke! I’ve read and occasionally do read a “romance” novel; but it’s a novel-fiction. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact see number 1 laugh everyday, that is a pretty good way to get a good chuckle.
Shidfah says
Absolutely agree! Completely off! Could this be another issue …
Cindy says
You need to do your research. Pornography changes the brain map in many detrimental ways and can lead to addictive behaviour. Scourge of the modern world. Not that it didn’t exist before but technology has allowed it to explode.
Brian says
This is an outstanding collection of habits. I love each and every one of them! Thank you for sharing.