The average American will spend $1,047.83 this holiday season. And Black Friday (the busiest shopping day of the year) is the official beginning of the spending.
In fact, over 160 million shoppers will buy something over the five-day holiday weekend. But the entire premise of Black Friday is based on the foundation of selling us things we don’t need.
If you don’t need an item on Thursday… why would you need it on Friday?
Or… what makes Black Friday any different than last Friday? If you didn’t need an item in your life last week, why would it be suddenly needed this week?
And yet many of us will succumb to the cultural expectation of shopping on Black Friday spending over $1,000 this weekend unnecessarily buying things we don’t need, adding to the collection of unneeded items already cluttering up our closets, drawers, basements, and garages.
Look around your home, you already have everything you need. If you really did need something, you already went to the store and bought it—well before a special Friday randomly placed after a holiday in November.
Your family already has everything it needs.
The things we buy on Black Friday are, almost by definition, things we don’t need. Only in America do we wait in line and push past others to buy items one day after giving thanks for everything we already have.
All those Black Friday ads you keep seeing—they are only there to convince you to buy something you don’t need.
And that’s exactly how they do it. Every advertisement, at its core, seeks to convince you that you will be happier if you buy whatever they’re selling. They stir up discontent and work to convince us that our lives will be happier, more convenient, more luxurious, or more impressive if we buy what they are selling.
The goal of advertising is to change our minds about what we need. As a result, what seemed entirely unnecessary last year has become this year’s must-have product.
But if it wasn’t needed last year, it isn’t needed this year.
How do we save our hard-earned money during Black Friday? We turn off the noise.
We turn off the messaging that is directly designed to convince us to buy things we don’t need.
This holiday season, rather than entertaining all the offers that will arrive in your email inbox, unsubscribe from as many retailer emails as you possibly can.
And see how much you save—not just financially, but in your humanity.
At the bottom of every email you receive this week announcing the biggest and best Black Friday sales, you will find a small sentence (usually in the fine print) that says, “To unsubscribe, click here.”
Go ahead, click unsubscribe. And turn off the noise.
At first, the project will seem unwinnable. But trust me, it is a battle you can win—and will be happier when you do.
At first, you might be clicking dozens and dozens of “unsubscribe” buttons every day. But slowly, the number of advertisements you receive in your inbox will get less and less. You may click 50 emails the first day… 40 emails the second day… 30 emails the third day… but you will be surprised how quickly they begin to subside.
When they do, you will discover a new level of peace and contentment in your life. You will discover a new approach to the holiday season.
Rather than being constantly bombarded with pictures of all the things you don’t have, you will be reminded of all the blessings you do have.
Thanksgiving will no longer become a day to map out your shopping path for Black Friday. Thanksgiving will become a day to give thanks for your blessings. Besides, if you are not content today, there is nothing you can buy this weekend to change that.
As you unsubscribe from the constant barrage of emails telling you that you don’t have enough, you will feel less manipulated. You will feel more like a human and less like a consumer.
And you’ll save $1,047 in the process.
About Joshua Becker
My family has always taken advantage of Black Friday to get things that we need (usually not a lot: we usually run our things, and in particular our more expensive things – appliances, cars, computers, phones, etc. – into the ground before we replace them, so we don’t have to do it very often, but when they do die, we *have* to replace them, and thankfully only some of them we actually have to buy new) at a discount, as well as get the specified gifts for Angel Tree and other similar organizations/programs that we signed up for, and get hats/scarves/mittens/etc. at a reduced price for the various donation programs at church. We always bring a list of the things we need to get, and we stick to it.
As other commenters have mentioned, just because you don’t already have something doesn’t mean you don’t need it – “you already have everything you need” isn’t necessarily true, because there are things that eventually break/wear out and have to be replaced; or that, for various reasons, become necessary even when they weren’t before; or that you need but you have to save for and/or are only able to afford at Black Friday’s discounted prices.
Our family tries to stick to wish lists, so that does help somewhat to cut down on the unwanted gifts. It also means we don’t have to stress about trying to figure out what someone might want/need, because they’ve already told us by giving us their list.
This is just what I needed to hear. Thank you for a fantastic article.
I completely tuned out “the noise” so long ago that I can’t believe that throngs of people jump into the fray every year. Thanks for doing the math and letting me know exactly how much money I’ll be saving tomorrow!
We will be participating in Opt Outside, we are going on a guided hike in our local county park on Black Friday.
I really needed to hear that one sentence, “look around your home, you already have everything you need.”
I really struggle with impulse control when it comes to shopping and it is especially challenging during the holidays. This blog is an encouragement for me to change my life and habits even if I have to swim against the current. Thank you!
I never support Black Friday or any other publicized mass shopping day. Instead I go to flea markets, farmers markets, and yard sales throughout the year, and if I see something special and unique that would tickle the heart of someone I love, I buy it and put it away (sometimes for months) in a box reserved for the holidays. Often I find underpriced estate jewelry or antique books in a subject the recipient collects. I’ve found beaded evening purses, cobalt blue bottles for a friend who collects them, posters, antique baby quilts and brand-new appliances. I try to tailor each gift to the recipient. At one yard sale I got a free concrete bird bath — beautifully decorated — because the owners couldn’t take it with them.
As the holidays approach, I hit the farmer’s market for fresh baked goods, beeswax candles, organic honey and unusual stocking stuffers.
Only then do I swoop into bigger stores and pick up gift necessities on my list, such as clothing or brand name whatever. Even so, I try to shop on-line and have gifts sent directly to the recipient with a gift receipt enclosed, so I’m not tempted by items I don’t need.
I went from spending about $1,500 per year for holiday gifts to about $600, plus the cost of postage for mailing packages, local tips for service people, and holiday foods and refreshments. We still celebrate, and have a wonderful time, with more money in our pockets. With this method, you’ll never need to use credit cards, so when January and February come, you can relax. Most importantly, you’ve given each person you love something thoughtful and special that shows you were thinking about them.
I always enjoy reading all this articles about minimalist
Thank you for all this work
It’s amazing thank you
Thank you
Very interesting and thought provoking story
Dear Joshua,
First of all: Thanks for all your Articles and all you do to promote the Concept of minimalism!
When i started to implement minimalism in my life and „Started the journey“ it was Your articles and the Ones that you recommend that encouraged me to go on and helped me to get a deeper understanding of this way of life. And it changed me a lot in many good ways. I can‘t thank you enough for this!
Now a Comment on this post of yours: as a german guy working for an American company for several years now i learned much about the american way To see the world. And from my german perspective this made me think about the cultural differences of interpreting the Concept of minimalism.
Marketing campaigns like Black Friday are for sure Not unique and Not only Applied in America, but also in Europe and many other countries Around the world, because the basic principle is to make us buy things we don‘t need as you correctly stated. And this principle works in Any country.
In your article you remind us not the be tricked this kind of campaign to Consume unneeded things, but there is more to this. From my experiences i got the impression That for americans it is not only about consuming, But also about our fears that make us consume to fight this fears.
To give an example: my grandmother-in-law grew Up during WWII in east Berlin. After the war ended the russians robbed the russian sector of berlin of everything that had any value. Due to this my „grandma“ starved as a child and for them it was like christmas, halloween, birthday and thanksgiving at once when they got allotted 50g of Sugar by the authorities. This deeply „Programmed“ my grandma forever.
After germany was reunited and capitalism entered the now Ex-GDR she started „shopping food like hell“ and has still more food in her fridge every day Than a whole family needs for a week because of her childhood experiences.
Now she is 82 and still shops like hell and cannot stop.
The funny thing is – in Every other aspect of life she is a rolemodel minimalist except the food.
To make a long story Short:
Our experiences in life shape our behavior, advertisements can only trigger this experiences (and insecurities/fears).
So calming this ad-storm down By unsubscribing from newsletters certainly helps, but the Question should also be: why did we subscribe to all These newsletters in the First place?
What was our intention and past experiences that made us do this?
Very thoughtful comment. Thank you! I guess a question to ask ourselves is “what are you afraid of?” Or “what hole are you trying to fill?”
My grandparents (and parents as very young children) lived through the Great Depression in the 1930s and I know those experiences greatly shaped them and their world view.
I love that REI (a large outdoor gear store) will be closed on Black Friday. This is so REI employees and customers can enjoy spending time outdoors, hiking as a family, etc. instead of shopping on Friday. They have also been handing out reusable tote bags for trash so that when customers head for the outdoors they will also pick up trash. What a great example!
Hard to change habits so intrenched in society. Wish i could not see anything pertaining to holiday shopping. Marketing has a lot of power, but our choices are even more powerful. Collectively we can make a reversal about all this holiday trappings/shopping lunacy.
We had the fortune of living abroad outside of America for 7 years. This is our first Black Friday in US since we’ve returned. It’s was so peaceful not being bombarded with advertisements every turn. America has so much monitory wealth, yet so little emotional enrichment. Thank you for a well written piece encouraging us to get back to our humanity and loving relationships over stressful shopping for gadgets!
I love that Thanksgiving feeling of gratitude mixed with food, family, football, etc. I like it to linger as long as possible. I gave up Black Friday about 25 years ago. I remember that morning driving from store to store not getting anything I wanted and growing very frustrated. I hated the vibe, the traffic, the crowds~~all of it. I remember sitting in Target’s parking lot and vowing, “Never again”. I recognize many people get great deals and it is part of their fun holiday tradition. So….. here’s is a toast to all of you happy shoppers :0) …. I will be waiting by the fireplace with my dog and a book….looking forward to hearing all of your great shopping stories and seeing the cool things you got. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!
Beautiful written
I prefer to focus my unspent on Giving Tuesday! The added benefit is that many charities have matching this time of year!
In fact, my donations can be made in the names of others, as gifts!
I have a recommendation for that.
Great article. This year Black Friday has already saved us about $400. How? Our 43 inch television broke about 3 weeks ago. Our plan was to wait and order a new one online on Black Friday. But after watching our much smaller “spare” TV and finding it is just fine, we have decided we will not purchase a new one, bargain or no bargain. One TV is plenty for us.
I worked for a Philadelphia department store for years. Black Friday was a good time to find excellent prices on needed items for a lot of people I served. In all the hustle and bustle it’s easy to forget the employees that work all night or arrive at stores by 4:30 am to help the customers. Most are there because they need the money to pay the bills. In most cases they work hard but are treated very poorly. I’ve seen many an instance where a customer getting their way on something they want takes precedence over treating an employee with respect. There is no object worth belittling another person over.
I live in Canada and we still have Black Friday. Thanksgiving was weeks ago.
I appreciate your ability to articulate what I feel. I have a hard time putting it into words. I was trying to explain to my husband that I don’t want to “buy Into” this consumerism’s lifestyle.
Love from Canada
Echoing others here: for some, Black Friday/Cyber Monday is a way to obtain truly needed items that are unaffordable on other days, and that they are going without until they can afford them. Not everyone has disposable income.
I agree. We are a homeschooling family with 5 kids so we have become savvy shoppers when it comes to gift giving with our kids and other family members. Sometimes something the week before Black Friday is twice as much.. so if I wait it frees funds for other necessities. We often will hold off on buying something until we know there will be a big sale. However, there is a fine line between buying needs at a good price and compulsive buying of things we don’t need that we still have to keep in check. My very organized husband has a spreadsheet of our budget for each person we buy for that goes back several years and we stick to that pretty strictly. We definitely don’t spend over $1,000, though!
Yes I agree too. New Zealanders have come just like the rest of the world in so many ways. We still try to give practical gifts not clutter.
We even have Black Friday but no Thanksgiving celebrated. Weird.
Thanks for the article.
I was coming here to post the same thing. This article assumes that all Americans just go buy whatever they need whenever they need it. I only do online Black Friday/Cyber Monday shopping, but it is often needs being purchased at a better price. My kids get things like socks and underwear every year and they’re happy to get the worn and too small pairs replaced. My daughter needs pants and she’ll be getting them for Christmas. Our sheets are starting to get holes and pillows are in bad shape, so those will be gifts too. My husband hates to shop and he never buys himself clothes. All of his new clothes come as Christmas gifts. Of course there will be a few wants and things purchased just for fun, but not everyone is out there just purchasing unwanted junk.
I agree and was going to comment the same thing. Our household has one TV, and it broke four months ago. My husband has been searching for options, reading reviews, watching prices and now has found the one, and it will be on sale for $200 less on Friday. I usually buy my year’s worth of shoes on Black Friday because a nearby store has them buy one pair, get the second for 50% off, and it’s the only time they are on sale (I have had bones taken out of my feet and am instructed to only wear supportive athletic shoes). I get four pairs because I walk about 5 miles daily and wear through four pairs per year. Waiting until Black Friday saves me about $150.
So, again, not everyone just goes and buys things they don’t need on Black Friday. Some of us wait all year long to save money on the things that we need and have planned our purchases for months.
I agree with all of the premise of this, but my gift lists are hoping for a match to the Friday or Monday sales so we can give more, for less. :D
Beautifully written.
Thank you for a reminder to give thanks for our many blessings. added comment: I am not able to open many of the articles included in the daily posts.
“Only in America”? Oh no! Even in Belgium, Europe, people do embrace Black Friday and the opportunity to “shop until they drop”.
America gave us Haloween, Black Friday, Santa (we only had the Christ Child ans Sinterklaas december 6.), … and the traders are very happy with more opportunities to sell.
Yes, thanks for the clarification.
Only in America do we wait in line and push past others to buy items one day after giving thanks for everything we already have.
I worked retail in a department store for 2 years. We opened at 5:00 pm on Thanksgiving 𝙳𝚊𝚢. It was like a zoo as soon as the people came through the door. Most were nice, and some were horrible, screaming at the cashiers that the price was wrong, sometimes we had to bring the actual sign. Then they threw the stuff at us and left. Or said we changed the sign on the way back to the register. Most bought it anyway, but by the end of Black Friday we looked at each and said “ a lot of this will be returned after Christmas because the person didn’t like it, or need it. All that cursing for nothing..
Brilliant and true — take it from a former advertising executive for 22 years. Advertising employees aren’t evil however. They are trying to solve problems for clients in ways that keep their pay checks coming, their mortgages paid, their families fed. They’re neither nefarious or brainwashes; if anything, they also fall for the “keeping ahead of the Joneses” way of life.
Good words about buying unnecessary things, but as others have said if it’s something you’ve put off buying that you need it’s good to wait for this sale day. I’m waiting for an ebook reader to go on sale so I can buy them for my grandchildren. This holiday season the gift theme is experiences not stuff. Unsubscribe it the best recommendation, it clears your head.
Very good read ! My husband and I will retire in 2 years and we are are trying to leave with less so we can enjoy retirement with enough money and less clutter.
unsubscribe it is! Funny as I’ve kept a few, but really I know where to go when I need stuff again, so why be bombarded every few days?!
I enjoy the article quite a bit. However, Black Friday isn’t only for self indulgence. I plan during the year what to give people for Christmas and look for it discounted. I’ve needed to replace my sheets for months, but I know Kohls will have them deeply discounted. Thank you again for your articles.
I too just did the same thing because Kohl’s has their Black Friday sale right now as of after Midnight last night.
I have waited to get needed sheets, a sherpa throw, and a couple of new bras which are each drastically reduced and actually affordable with this sale this year.
I have unsubscribed from nearly every advertisement I used to get and it is really wonderful not getting all of that “stuff” in my e-mail any longer!
I understand though that many people shop without filling a real need but more of a want. I only actually shopped once in my life on a Black Friday about 15 years ago with my Sister at 4:00 AM in the morning to get 2 things we each wanted but could not afford otherwise. We did get our 2 items and then left the store as quickly as possible! And have never done it since! It was an experience though!
I appreciate everything I am learning on this site and I am sharing what I can with family and friends. It’s awesome!!!
Living in Australia, the Black Friday sales are a relatively new thing. But as with other US traditions, such as Halloween, (which originated with the first born being taken to be a sacrifice) a substantial amount of the population embraces it, without knowing and understanding its true and horrible beginnings. It would be lovely if Thanksgiving was embraced, which is certainly worthy of adopting.
I do believe Black Friday can be a way to save some money. Especially if you shop online and not in shops. I’ve had a list with things I want / need, for months. Because I know I can wait a couple of weeks to buy some of these things and I know these items will be on sale this week. BUT I do believe it is key no to give in to impulse buying.