My grandfather passed away over Christmas last year.
At his funeral, I delivered the eulogy. Here is a portion of what I said:
What can I say about this man? What can I say about a man I’ve always wanted to be just like? What can I say about a man who shaped my worldview and understanding of God more than anyone else? What can I say about a man I named my own son after?
He had a significant impact on my life. You can read my entire eulogy here.
During one of my last conversations with my grandfather, before he got sick on Thanksgiving, he made a statement to me that I found to be incredibly profound.
He said, “We live our entire lives under the shadow of death.”
While I didn’t tell him at the time, I found the statement to be deep and life-enhancing when understood correctly. In fact, merely hearing it brought about further resolve of my desire to live a minimalist life.
Consider its weight: We all live under the shadow of death.
That statement has been true in 2020 maybe more than any other year as local and national media regularly report death counts from all over the world and daily public service announcements can be heard over the airwaves asking us to act responsibly.
But death is not new to us—despite the unprecedented times we live in.
In fact, we live every day with the understanding that it may be our last. Not in a morbid, depressing way (shockingly so), but in the awareness and reality of understanding life.
Every time I get in my car to drive to work or the grocery store, I know, instinctively, something tragic could happen to me or another driver. I also know, full-well, that even if I don’t leave my house, a medical emergency could befall me or someone I love. I am not immune from a cancer diagnosis, a heart attack, a stroke, a brain aneurysm.
I have plenty of loved ones who unexpectedly received life-changing news, or were tragically stricken.
As grandpa said, “Life is lived under this shadow of death.” The reality of it surrounds us every day of our lives. And even if we don’t have a close, loved one who recently passed away, we almost certainly know someone who has.
Nobody escapes life alive.
But somehow it seems, human beings are able to both live with the knowledge of death and somehow function apart from it.
Death is inevitable. And yet, I am able to live wholly today, focused on the present and the future, as if it won’t happen to me today. I am aware of coming death, but not paralyzed by it. It is a fascinating paradox and ability of the human mind when you think about.
While the shadow of death does not paralyze me, in the quiet moments of life, the shadow motivates me and sharpens the wisest among us.
Only a fool lives as if their life will never end.
We receive one life to live, with a limited number of days and a limited number of resources with which to accomplish our purpose. Almost all of the resources we consume during our journey are limited: money, time, energy, space, focus, capacity, even the relationships we are able to pursue.
This reality of our finite nature is an incredibly important truth. It is one we should intentionally choose to focus on each day. Because when we do, it changes our actions, our motivations, and our pursuits. It changes us:
Because life is finite, we make better choices.
Because time is finite, we spend our days on things that matter.
Because money is finite, we spend it on pursuits that will outlast us.
Because our energy is finite, we choose carefully where we focus our passions.
Because our days are finite, we value relationships and love.
Because I live under the shadow of death, I will choose a minimalist life and reject the empty promise of consumerism and what this world offers. I will live for greater pursuits.
Life will end—indeed. And that realization should affect the decisions I make each day. But rather than causing me to throw in the towel and give up on life, this shadow of death will spark hope and resolve and passion to spend each remaining day of my life making the most of it.
So inspiring, so beautiful thankyou.
I copied your article and eulogy to keep. I want to have a similar impact on the lives of others as your grandfather did. At the end of what I copied I added…….” then what are you doing about it?!”
Truly, a life that is focused on loving our Heavenly Father and serving others is one choice and action after another and another. Thank you for continuing to minister and help us mature into the people our Father created for us to be.
my mom passed away just days before Christmas… it is so painful… too sudden too soon. indeed, life is uncertain. :(
” Even as the Sun goes down… To end the Light of Day… It is rising on a New Horizon… Somewhere Far Away…..”
Perhaps he was thinking about the scripture in the Bible. “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil because thou aren’t with me.” I love this and as a believer, it is comforting to me. Especially in these troubling times. Or as Mama once told me, “ You came into this world with nothing. You will leave it with nothing.”
For the coming year, my word is “treasure” Lay up treasures there, not here. Leave your giving heart, goodness, kindness, behind you to be remembered by. Yes we live under the shadow of death but joy will come in that eternal morning.
Sorry Eve, I had to correct this but it is thou art with me, not „aren’t „.
Blessings
Ilona
Discipling others as Jesus did.
Matthew 28:20 are treasures
What a great eulogy!! Thanks for sharing!!
??
Amen.
Beautifully Written. My Uncle passed last week, he truly lived life to its fullest, even while battling cancer. As a mom, I’ve become more focussed on being present with my children, but also acknowledging my wants/needs so that we can all march on and enjoy our time here as best as possible.
Thank you for this. Watched my dad lose the love of
His life today. Hard to absorb… but they had no regrets. Loved life to the fullest.
I’m so sorry, Kelly! ?
Your grandfather was a wise man.
Happy Father’s Day!
Joshua, may I extend my deepest condolences to you and your family over the passing of your grandfather. It is indeed a sobering thought that each of us may be taken at any time, and the way you have spoken here about this in relation to living an intentional, uncluttered (unfettered) life is very powerful. Thank you for sharing your gift with us.
This is truly beautiful! Here’s to beautiful role-models on this Father’s Day. Thank you!
Great post and very timely. Jason Isbell wrote an amazing song called “If We Were Vampires” about this exact concept. I quoted it in a eulogy I delivered a couple if years ago. Give it a listen, some very profound lyrics.
Life is eternal. Every moment counts.
So thankful for this blog!!! 10 months
of daily dis owning. Hardest is 4 file cabinets of writings and journals.