“What is without periods of rest will not endure.” —Ovid
Recently, I spent a few weeks on vacation. The time was filled with travel, reconnecting with family, playing golf, swimming, sleeping, and reading. As you can probably imagine, it was quite enjoyable. But more than that, it was desperately needed.
Consider the benefits that rest offers:
- a healthier body.
- more balance.
- less stress.
- deeper relationships.
- better opportunity to evaluate life’s direction.
- a new, fresh outlook.
- increased productivity.
Yet, despite all the proven benefits of rest, intentionally setting aside regular time for rest is a practice that has become undervalued and underappreciated in today’s culture. We have become overworked, overstressed, and exhausted. Yet, Sabbath (setting aside one day each week for rest) remains a dying practice that less and less people practice regularly (never mind the idea of actually taking a two-week vacation).
Overlooking the importance of rest is certainly not unique to our modern society. But our culture has made it increasingly difficult to take rest without specific intentionality.
Consider some of the factors prevalent in our modern society that argue against the idea of rest:
• Rest has become confused with laziness. We live in a society that praises those who work 60hrs/week and makes faulty assumptions about those who work 40. We have confused rest with laziness. And while too much rest may indeed be an indicator of sloth, the regular practice of finding rest is not.
• The desire for money has become unquenchable. Modern society loves money. We love it to a point that we will sacrifice much of ourselves to gain more of it. Some sacrifice morals, character, or family. Others consider rest a fair trade… and will gladly sacrifice it at the altar of the almighty dollar.
• Success is measured incorrectly. Similarly, we have begun to measure success by the amount of cash in savings, the size of our homes, or the model of our cars. The nicer one’s lot in life, the more successful they must be. Unfortunately, this is a faulty measure of success. The true test of success should be measured in significance rather than success. But often times finding significance requires us to rest long enough to recalibrate our lives around the things that matter most.
• We live in a world that is always “on”. While electricity may have made it easier to work late into the night, the Internet has surrounded us with opportunities and relationships 24 hours/day. Today’s world never stops. And when the possibility to make money every hour of the day is combined with the desire to do so, rest quickly gets pushed aside.
• A false sense of urgency surrounds us at every moment. We live in a world that floods our minds with so much information that it has become difficult to sort out the important from the unimportant. As a result, the urgent needs of the day crowd out the important. And rest puts up little fight against the urgent.
• Our minds require distraction. Our minds have become addicted to stimulation and validation. As a result, it has become increasingly difficult to turn off E-mail, Facebook, or Twitter… not to mention cell phones, televisions, or the Internet. And when our minds begin to require distraction, rest becomes an increasingly difficult state to achieve.
• Rest cannot be rushed. Modern society loves shortcuts. We desire 15-minute abs, 30-minute meals, and 1-hour photos. Unfortunately, rest can never be rushed. It must be entered deliberately and allowed to complete its cycle in due time. By definition, this requires patience… and a cleared schedule.
• A misunderstanding that rest is purely physical. Rest is physical. But it is more than that. It is mental, emotional, and spiritual. It is an understanding that the world is going to survive without you. It is an inner strength that allows you to disconnect from accomplishing “work” and focus on yourself and those around you. It is not mere physical leisure. It is rest: body and soul.
I have worked hard to keep a day of rest as an important part of my life and weekly routine. But it is an upward battle that requires relentless intentionality—we live in a culture that has far too often underappreciated its value.
I am a fan of active rest but focusing on me time. I try once a day to fit in a walk, be it 30 minutes or 3 hrs in the outdoors, be it a hill walk or a low level walk. Either by myself or with a friend. It affords me time with only nature for distraction. I carry a phone for emergency purposes only or for taking pics. This time, however Long, allows me time to desires and digest the day. I mentally figure things out without distraction then I empty my mind and live in the moment. I find it therapeutic and allows me to recharge before going home and becoming once again mother, wife, caregiver. It costs nothing but the most precious commodity we have, which is not money but time. It helps me reconnect and as a result I function better in all roles. Fresh air, nature and rolling hills. No calls, no emails, no demands, no electronics. Just me and nature. It’s bliss
I agree wholeheartedly. I have been busy decluttering my house and minimalising my life in so many ways. I now have time to rest and it makes such a difference.
I agree 100% and think that there should be more pieces like this to reverse this awful pressure to be successful all the time, no matter how many sacrifices you make regarding your family and rest. Of course, it is up to every person to decide, but it’s also about our common values as a society. If we only focus on success – prominent authors, inventors and sportsmen without the look on their lives – when teaching students at schools and universities, people will only come to such realizations through breakdowns and burnouts.
Thank you so much for this piece, it’s a great one and also an eye opener in all ramifications. ?
Totally unheard of in today’s 24/24 virtual life :0( So irrelevant )0:
I too had the husband who traveled, and three children with very different needs. I volunteered a few hours most every week, homeschooled 4 years, and kept pretty busy all the days, but I did things I enjoyed. I subbed with special needs children (part time) a couple years, I subbed H S a few years, I taught Sunday School, and I took my children outdoors to play or explore the woods and parks when ever the weather was tolerable. It is fine to be “busy” when you share the things that are enjoyable. (we also kept an early, consistent bed time). I earned very little money but I did earn great relationships with my kids (and I never sent a “chatty” Christmas card telling how we stayed “busy” all year). Priorities. The simple things are the best.
Same?
I do appreciate being reminded of the value of rest. I also, find the approach of this particular post to be overly simplistic in light of the realities of those of us who have to work multiple jobs, or those of us that might be in the thick of caregiving for children, aging parents, or ill family members. You are still right: we need rest. We require it. But how and why we get around to making it for ourselves – I think you’ve missed that for a lot of us. In saying this, I am making assumptions: that your intended audience is more than the financially affluent reader. The financially affluent reader may be able to “just do it” and make vacations happen. I hope, however, you are interested in a wider audience. You mean we’ll. That much is clear.
The piece reads like wisdom from a middle schooler who really is trying but hasn’t experienced the fatigue and complexity of physical and emotional labor in the familial network, or the reality of providing for themselves in the gig economy. I’d encourage you to research more broadly as well as clarify who your audience is. Keep at it! Props for putting your creative material into the world. That’s the first step!
Your comment reads like a playground insult. This piece is spot on, but your arrogance and ignorance blinds you from seeing that. I am also not affluent but that doesn’t make this wrong or short-sighted. However, conceding to be a slave to the system, is short sighted. Your life is short, stop and think about it once in a while.
As a “normal, not financially affluent reader”, I really enjoy this article. I don’t think he meant that we have to take lavish vacations every year. I am a full time working woman, a mom to a 3 year old, and a wife who is pregnant. My schedule is just the right amount of busy. I don’t have the time or money to take long vacations every year. I have in the past, but right now is not the time. I find rest in kicking up my feet for 20 minutes and reading a book, from painting my nails and watching a YouTube video, from sitting in the car for 5 minutes after a long day of work. Rest in small burst is still rest. You can still rest while having a family. We simply choose to stay in or have a relaxing day instead of running errands.
I feel that perhaps you are missing the deeper message..You dont have to take a whole day or even hours on end to caregive the self. even a few stolen moments in the restroom at work give me time to breath and rest. Even in the car one can pull over for 15 minutes to do breathwork and close ones eyes. There are all kinds of apps for your phone that can assist you with that. I am not of the elite who can take long lavish time out but I can finsd time for a massage once a month or a Reiki session and I can absolutly find 15 minutes to stretch my body a breath. I believe that is what the message is. If your just doing out of duty and not taking care of the self there will come a day when you are depleted ..that day is when respentment begins to rise up and what follows is a manifestaion of disease. NOTHING is worth it…
a good 30 minutes in the wild outdoor gives me enough rest for my day. it would feel like I have done all what i needed to get done for that day. i find it so relaxing to do some easy peasy gardening like watering, trimming trees, cut stems, i can see the benefits in such a way of using time doing “nothing” just only what you love. so worth it.
Helene, while your points are valid, rest is a necessity for everyone…you know what, nevermind, rather than writing a long comment, I’m going to put the phone down and rest.
Blessings,
Sean
It’s certainly spot on and I’m not going to waste my time trying to explain to you why. Your negativity alone was already exhausting. Good read for someone like me who needs rest badly, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
It sounds like you are enmeshed in a co-dependent relationship because you are parenting as if you are single. He can watch all the kids for three hours one night a week so you can nap or go to the library or do coffee with a friend. If he refuses, why not trade parenting responsibilities with a girl friend who also has children so that you get a break at least every other week. Martyrs glorify their work, and avoid rest because they know better than everyone else. Eventually they burn out. Don’t do that.
Actually some of ‘us’ martyers may enjoy work. The nice pay is a by product not a means to an end.
I took a gap year when my 13 year employment was terminated following restructuring and thankfully I got a severance package. Many couldn’t understand the concept of taking 1 year off from work and urged me to search for another job immediately. I was tempted to though I felt completely burned, but am glad I didn’t. The time off the career rat race has given much needed perspective on life and the many important things I neglected and sacrificed at the altar of money and career. I will be returning to school next year to study biblical counselling in order to help others struggling as I was.
It begins by realizing that our culture largely values shallow, meaningless things. Kids today live mostly indoors, and know little about nature. We live in a world of massive energy consumption, where everything is wrapped in plastic, and many Americans don’t even know where they are on the face of the earth. We follow those with the loudest voices and the least to say, as opposed to those who listen, learn, and have truth to share. We obliterate natural beauty and replace it with gaudy garbage, and we are rapidly killing our one and only home.
We need more rest, and a lot more reflection on the awesomeness of being.
“The most beautiful and most profound emotion we can experience is the sensation of the mystical. It is the source of all true science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead.”
–Albert Einstein
Thank you for writing this. I’m about to take 5 days to unplug and sleep and rest. I am physically, emotionally and mentally drained. I lack compassion, empathy, any appropriate social filters and sometimes even common sense. Yet, people look at me like I have 8 heads and can’t believe they can’t contact me. I finally said the only one I want to connect with is ME!
Rest is crucial. I take rest every day, at least for a short while. Some days, I am able to disconnect from my worries and enter a state of awe. Other days my mind remains attached to the mundane. You are completely right that modern society has made it increasingly difficult to take rest and that it is an upward battle to achieve it. But to achieve regular rest is to achieve more balance. And balance is what this planet’s inhabitants so desperately need.
I have friends who proudly identify themselves as “Type A”, as if that were a state we should all be striving for.
So true.
I would love love love to take one day a week and have it be 100% handheld/video technology free – i.e. no cell phone, no tablets, no tv, no computer. I foresee 100% abstinence being absolutely disastrous, unfortunately. I’d lose my mind just listening to the kids ask for some form of technology every 5 minutes. We do go camping periodically and there are no tablets allowed then, but the tv (with dvd’s) is still available. We’d have to have every minute of the day completely filled with activity to prevent people from using their technology, and that kind of defeats the purpose of resting, does it not? It’s a grand idea that I’ll continue to brainstorm – but you nailed it. Our minds seem to need constant stimulation anymore and unfortunately, conversation doesn’t seem to be enough.
It is in the Bible. to take a rest from all of our labors. So, when GOd made man in His image, it was part of His great plan that man should have a rest. GOd knows what is best for His creatures. He loves us. When we don’t heed GOd’s words, we get sick. Most of all, GOd said: “Come to Me all you who are heavily ladden and I will give you rest. FOr My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Thank you so much.
Thank you for posting this! I have a really hard time with this. During the winter I substitute teach. I also have four kids, and even though I try to limit their activities so it doesn’t drive us nuts, we still find ourselves rushing dinner and running off to something multiple nights a week. Add to that family/friend obligations on weekends, and by the time June rolls around I’m exhausted!
By the end of the school year I felt completely burnt out, and as a result, I booked less camping for spring/July than I normally do, I didn’t race off to the beach a few days a week like I imagined I would, and I haven’t been biking every morning to maximize summer holidays. I think what I really needed was just decompression. So we kind of vegged through July. The kids played in the blow up pool in the back yard, we went to the park a few times, they crafted and read, and played with enormous piles of lego (we limit TV), and the whole time I’ve been feeling so guilty that I can’t just get motivated to “enjoy” summer, that I have actually kind of ruined the first half of summer for myself. I’ve been feeling like I’ve just wasted my kids time. And it’s not even like they’re complaining! Why are we so programmed to think that if we’re not burning through our “summer bucket list,” we’re simply squandering our time?
I’ve been trying to look at it differently, that the downtime is what we needed. We have a lengthy family camping trip planned that starts next week, and I know we’ll be busy with that, so what if we just moseyed around in July, right?
Just wish it was easier to “rest” without feeling crummy about it!
That is wonderful!
This is such an important subject. Not resting or taking holidays seems to have become some kind of badge of honour. Yet it is destructive in so many ways and on so many different levels with a terrible impact on indvidiuals, families and communities. I feel we need to get back to building life on true values in order to help start prioritising what is really most important.
Joshua, our kids need rest as well. I have five kids and we have made a very conscious effort for the past 19 years to set aside a day of rest. We don’t shop or play organized sports on that day, but we do share a meal and when they were younger, we literally rested on Sunday. There are far too many kids stressed out with no example of how to rest because they have never seen it practiced. It takes planning and effort, but it is doable and doesn’t cost anything.
A great article. I, like many others above, are working on resting but find it a battle sometimes. One thing I have found helpful is to actually mark out time in my diary before the week begins – I write ‘my time’ and I strive to put nothing else on in that space. I try to treat that time in my diary as if it is a medical appointment that I need to attend and cannot double book with anything else. It’s not always easy, but the weeks that I hold on to ‘my time’, I am so much better for it.
I wonder how you should tell between sufficient rest and too much (the indicator of sloth you mention). I guess sometimes you may be inactive, but not “resting”, because of life stresses, which would make you feel like you need more “rest” when you are already getting a lot of it. I always feel exhausted, but for many people, my amount of “rest” would probably be enough. I think I’m also burned out at work, so that doesn’t help.
Just imagine – having to wait 1 hour or 2 weeks for the photos you just took!
I’m resting now. A quiet period in the afternoon has always been important to me.
This is perfect. I’m on a business /leisure trip and in the hotel thinking okay I’m being totally useless and not accomplishing anything. I work very hard and I think my Supervisor orchestrated this 3 day trip to force me to rest and visit with my son who attends college here in town as an added bonus. I need to learn how to shut my mind off for restful periods… but it is super difficult.
Megyn
I hear you.
Sometimes loving God means loving him with all our strength through hard times. Financial hardship is a very difficult thing to “rest” through, because by its very nature, it requires more work from you. Instead of so much resting, which you need weekly, and should enforce for your long term health, try working “long” not hard. Meaning try to always be doing work in a calm way that somehow benefits your situation. One tiny step of faithfulness at a time leads to a clearly marked path that will make your next endeavor that much easier. As Elizabeth Elliot said, “what is the next right thing?” Then do it. Soon you will find restful peace.
Thanks for an amazing post. I have been following you and leo for some time now. But its difficult to apply what you say. I am an anaesthesiologist working in government hospital in a developing country and i have a 2 year old. I don’t work long hours because of money but its just the way my duty hours are. I am always tired but how to take rest?
The true test of success should be measured in significance rather than [financial] success. But often times finding significance requires us to rest long enough to recalibrate our lives around the things that matter most.
Whenever we talk of “busy lives” – we tend to think “pursuit of money”. However too often at least for the employed salaried people, it is about helplessly being shoved into a schedule that is too demanding, sometimes even eating up into sleep time that one naturally needs and craves for. Being a minimalist can be difficult in such situations – when you can be forced to work unreasonable hours and given a promotion in return, when all you were looking for was a decent livelihood, work/life balance, and a peaceful life. Achieving is not an option – it is required just to be able to earn a living – so what if the salary is high/low – its more about the career you land yourself into – and then what happens next just happens – be it an easy life, or a crazy unbalanced life….
I was just thinking tonight how desperate I feel for a a break, to be away from everything to give my mind and spirit a rest. But the break I really need is from inside my own head, from the grief that is dragging me down, physically, emotionally and mentally and that is a much harder thing to achieve.
You have a way of seeing clearly to the heart of an issue and explaining it so well. I used to feel completely trapped by my own perspective – that the amount I did, how busy I was = how successful and valued and worthy I was. Resting felt lazy, unproductive and like I was missing out if I didn’t keep going and keep ‘producing’. Took me a long time and health problems to wake up to the fact it was all an illusion. Thanks for writing this post, it’s a great one to share with others to help shift paradigms, will definitely pass it on to others!
Bernadette :)
Josh, thank you. I am coming to value rest as I get older. I am tired of all the striving and I am ready to pare down and live more simply. Money is not at the top of my list–peace is.
Sometimes chasing the dollar is about surviving, not worshiping materialism. Even ion this essay ostensibly on the value of rest & simplifying, there’s a reference to sloth. Let someone else make that argument.
Hear, hear!
If you decide to change your life so that you work less, live on less and have more time for rest, family, friends and passions, our market-mindset society is going to discriminate against you in seen and unseen ways. it is HARD to decide that you want to live some other way that lies outside “established” — and socially enforced — norms. When I gave up my full-time job as a bike mechanic to pursue my dream as a freelance musician and teacher, it was a hard adjustment — not only because people judged me for not working 40 hours on the clock, but because my “inner committee” judged me too.
It has been a long process to quiet those voices and pursue my passion.
Having supportive people around helps! They are the ones that remind me (1) that what I do matters and (2) that needing a nap does NOT mean I’m lazy. We all need to rest in order to recharge.
Wow. Josh’s thoughts resonated and some of the comments brought tears to my eyes! Guys, focus and chill! Naps were mandatory when I grew up – I didn’t have to sleep, but I did have to stay in my room and entertain myself (another lost art). Work vs lunch: please stop, step outside, and eat the salad/sandwich/leftovers that you brought. Not drinking enough water?? I can’t even conceive what that means! Vacations should be a time of experience and education, not a reboot. I moved after 25 years living in Manhattan to Florida. Making lots less money and loving my life so much more! So often we blame our current circumstances for all our woes when it really comes down to our inability to change. Buck up and take the plunge! You have no idea how amazing your life can be!!
“Busy” should not be confused with being Productive..
Hi Joshua,
I was just about ready to start my Sunday morning email catch-up, which I’ve been doing now for several months. After reading this, I’m closing up the computer and simply enjoying my day of rest. Thank you.
Excellent article, still relevant a year later. I’m sharing it on FB today on my page. Thank you!
Rest is not appreciated in this society and in this day & age. I agree. It’s as if the world is going to somehow get worse by people being less busy. Too many times we get the words busy and productive confused. To be truly productive you have to let your mind, body, and spirit recharge. Good article
I ignored everything that you talk about for over two decades. Then one day my mind, body and soul called time out. Nearly a year into my enforced ‘rest’ my mind is finally slowing down and I am beginning to feel rested. With hindsight it has been a blessing but it has taken time to get to that viewpoint and to stop feeling like a lazy failure.
My change had to be extreme because I was so stressed, so busy, so competitive, so perfectionist etc, etc that I was in the end just so sick.
I am really enjoying the minimalism sites like yours they are 100% relevant to how I am rebuilding my life and I thank you. I want to be a lesson that others can learn from me, not bitter experience: rest as you go, not for one year out of twenty!!
Thx :-)
I’ve heard that rest actually tells us how “well we can work.” The better we are able to rest the less we are controlled by, and so can flourish, in our jobs. The idea that laziness is confused with rest is truly sad. When work/profit become the bottom line, there is never enough, never fulfillment, never some “holy sadness” to give us a sense of rootedness in who we are, where we are.
You mention “sabbath”–we’re lucky enough not to have to, but it’s often an excuse for extra activity. Sabbath, for me “intimates a time of shalom,” when everyone would work, and play and enjoy, and delight would be the true end of man.
Cheers,
M
Great to read about this. I really struggle with the concept of rest. And while I also value the observance of a or the Sabbath, I struggle with the concept of rest outside of that. I guilt my husband when he naps (even though he is ridiculously hard-working otherwise and successful and all these things… I still have it in my mind that if there is time for a nap, there is time to contribute more). And I truly struggled with the decision to resign from my job at Yale which I’ve recently written about. I think your first and third bullet are the ones that I fall victim too, that I’m currently working through on the other end of having chose to resign and go from working 65hrs/wk to less than 40. I want to define success in a whole new way, I’m working on it, but the feedback loops telling me I’ve made an unwise decision are strong, but I’m learning that the voice of those loops are voices I do not trust or desire to be like. And those I respect and desire to model my life after are encouraging of these changes and attempts to redefine life in our young marriage and family. It is a journey I am less reluctant, and more thrilled to be on each day.
I always feel like I’m catching up on sleep. It’s a never ending race.
Love me some vacations as well. Always a good time to rest your mind, reflect and re-energize.
Glad you enjoyed your time and thank you for all you do.
– Brad
“A false sense of urgency surrounds us at every moment” – this one really resonates with me as I find it so difficult to step back and realise that if something doesn’t get done straight away or things don’t happen in the order I expect them to then the whole world won’t fall apart. Creating these false sense of urgency moments against our own selves increases stress levels considerable and is something I battle with on a daily basis.
I read your article with great interest since over the years, I felt “picked on” for needing or wanting downtime. Like many others, the drive to achieve overshadows everything else and the very last thing we want to do is be perceived as weak or lazy or, heaven forbid, incompetent.
Thank you for the reminder that we all need to rest. And that the need for rest comes with no excuses!
— Gaye
I completely agree with that, Gaye – especially now we’re running our own business. We have a little bookshop and I sometimes have to remind my mum that althought we COULD open later, and we COULD open extra days during holiday seasons, it’s not something that’s necessarily a good thing. She sees a missed opportunity to make money; I see a vital opportunity to rest. Ironically, the busier the season, the more important it is NOT to be at work all the time, because we need our time off more to stay motivated and healthy!
Thank you for this post. I am a prime example of a person who can never stop. I don’t know how to relax unless I am completely exhausted or have the flu. I know I have to change this, and I reading and learning to start changing my life. :)
Besides a decent nights sleep, rest can mean doing anything relaxing, like going to a state park and walking the trails, the beaches, etc. I know of people who keep working way past retirement and don’t live long enough to retire as they have to keep getting “stuff” or whatever. The simpler life, with less consuming, makes more time for all this. I prefer vacations away from people as he and I are more reclusive in retirement, and like to get out in nature.
So much to do and to consume, we have no time to rest for fear of missing out on something more. What just hit me, the “more” that we are scurrying to find, is right in front of our eyes. If we would only take a rest and be mindful enough to see the beauty and love among us.
http://www.mychildsgardener.com/1039/remember-the-sabbath/
Outstanding discussion of the importance of downtime. Thanks for the post. I especially honed in on the idea that we overwork ourselves because we misapprehend the definition of “success”.
We must each redefine prosperity for ourselves.
Thanks again
-M
While I agree the physical rest is very important, your last point, about the misunderstanding that rest is purely physical is such a key point. Even if we do manage to take some time “off”, unless we intentionally, with determination, work to slow our minds down and rest our psyche, we still end up with an an exhausted overloaded brain after vacation or a long weekend.
While I am making this observation, it is not something that I have fully achieved either, it is a constant battle in our society.
Great post Joshua!
Bernice
Is your busyness covering up pain?
I once heard Dallas Willard answer the question, “What do Americans need more than anything else?” He said, “Naps.”
The necessity of rest is evident in a toddler’s missed nap time tantrums or crankiness, but adults too need to recognize the symptoms of too little rest—impaired creativity, lower work output and more. Your reminders ring true. Children—and adults—need rest.
Thank you for the reminder Joshua.
@Megyn, when I go through long periods of hectic days and little sleep, I find that 5-minute meditation sessions, sprinkled throughout the day, help me slow down, get perspective and eliminate stress. I feel much better after each session.
What great timing! I’m reading this as I’m exhausted and know I should already be in bed, but can’t seem to get there. I would LOVE a break to just rest. However, with two young kiddos and a husband who has to work lots of hours just to make our miniscule budget, it’s not so much an option. But it’s desperately needed (already landed in the ER once this year from dehydration). What is your solution for those of us who have to work so hard just to put food on the table? Actually just posted about this financial issue of wanting things to be easier, but the way our society is (and the cost of it all) is not allowing us to get to a place where we can afford a rest.
Megyn, I’d make a small goal of intentional, weekly rest and then try to keep it. If one day/week seems too much at first, shoot for just one afternoon that you can set aside time each week. And don’t make it too complicated… a 1-2 hour nap may be just what you need. Planning an easy, recurring dinner idea would also be helpful on those days.
Megyn I can relate! I’ve got 3 kiddos 5,4,2 and a husband who works long hours. Joshua no offense, I love your blog and most of what you right, but when I read “1-2 hour nap” I laughed out loud. If you’re the primary caregiver of young kids, that is not likely to happen on any sort of a regular basis. (unless they are also willing to nap. at the same time.)
I don’t have a good solution, I am always tired too. But one thing that helps me is to separate the idea of physical rest from mental rest. Honestly I need the mental break more many days, and i find it easier to make room for in my life…I often get up early to steal some time by myself. I find I actually have more energy the days I get up at 5 to go for a walk or a run, even though I gave up sleep to do so. It’s so important to carve out some time for a “sanity break.”
I don’t have any family in the area, so I’ve also worked hard to form a community of moms around me to help share the load. Sometimes we’ll do playdates where each one tags out for an hour or so, or even take each other’s kids for the afternoon. It’s a chance to be alone without having to come up with money for a sitter. Hope you find a way to catch a break! Oh, and before you go to bed fill up a few water bottles and stash them in a central place – I like the ones with a straw top so you don’t need hands. Take a swig every time you walk by. No good to be in the ER dehydrated!
If you have a supportive network who takes the kids for an hour or so at a time, then you DO have time for an hour nap. Excuses.
Megyn…If you haven’t already done so, take a look at your budget to see if there are areas you can cut to lighten the financial burden. We used to think we were frugal until we reviewed our actual spending vs. what we thought we were spending. WOW – that was an eye-opener. Lots of insidious costs disguised as needs (which were actually conveniences). Also, double check your diet and make sure you’re getting good nutrition. Supplement if need be. Best of luck!
Do you know how harse that sounds? Not everything is an excuse.