Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Rose Lounsbury.
How many towels do you need? This was the surprisingly life-changing question I faced on a Saturday afternoon in early 2012, as I scrutinized my linen cupboard.
I had just started on a minimalist journey, inspired by my 1,500 square foot house that could no longer comfortably contain the possessions of me, my husband, and our three 2-year-olds (yes, you read that right… triplets).
A few weeks earlier, we’d returned from visiting out-of-state relatives for Christmas with a van absolutely packed full of presents. As I walked into my house and assessed our already stuffed surroundings, a slow, frightening realization came upon me:
We didn’t have room for the things we already owned. Where was I going to put this new stuff?
I felt defeated and overwhelmed. I knew the gifts had been given in love. I knew they were supposed to make me and my children happy. But more than anything, they added stress to my already stressful full-time-working-mom-of-triplets life.
Luckily, though, a change was coming.
About a week after Christmas I had lunch with a good friend, and I explained my problem. I thought the solution was to either buy a bigger house or allow no one to buy my kids Christmas presents again, ever.
But my friend looked at me between bites of soup and casually suggested another idea, “Or… you could just become a minimalist.”
I immediately thought of monks living in a cave or college students traversing Europe with all their possessions on their backs or black-clad hipsters lounging on white couches in apartments that doubled as art galleries. None of that sounded like my real life in the Ohio suburbs with three kids, two cars, and a mortgage.
But my friend reassured me that minimalism was just a philosophy, a less-is-more approach to living, and that any modern American could adopt it. Skeptical but intrigued, I went home and started reading. I was hooked.
Which brought me, a few weeks later, to January of 2012, when I went to put away some towels in my linen cupboard and asked myself the aforementioned life-changing question:
How many towels do you need?
Now I want you to realize, this wasn’t the first time I’d asked myself questions about my stuff. Unbeknownst to me, I’d been asking myself questions about my stuff my entire life (and you probably have, too).
But those questions sounded different. They sounded more like this…
“Rose, how much stuff could you AFFORD to buy?” I was a dedicated closeout, clearance, and coupon shopper, always scouring the racks for the best “deal” I could find.
Another favorite: “Rose, how much stuff could you FIT in here?” I used every spare inch in my snug home to cram in as much as possible, often resorting to space saver bags and bins stacked precariously high in my attic.
And, finally, the Big Daddy of them all, the question I continually asked every night as I spent hours putting away toys, shoes, sippy cups, and errant paper: “Rose, how could you better ORGANIZE this stuff?”
I thought organizing was the answer, the Holy Grail, the thing that—if I could just master it and buy the right bins with the right labels—would solve my problem. I’d finally have the home in the magazines. I’d finally stop feeling like every day was a continual battle between me and the chaos.
But that Saturday afternoon, I wasn’t asking myself any of those questions. That day, fresh in my nascent minimalist awakening, I was asking myself a very different question:
Rose, how many towels do you NEED?
That’s the kind of question that just might change your life.
The answer was surprisingly clear: two per person.
Which immediately felt wrong. Because if you passed third grade math you know that’s only 10 towels for a family of five, which certainly wasn’t the number of towels I’d registered for on my Bed, Bath, and Beyond wedding gift registry. It wasn’t the number of towels in my friend’s homes. And it certainly wasn’t the towel message I received from Better Homes and Gardens magazine. They were telling me I needed pink towels for spring and yellow towels for summer and towels with festive reindeer prancing across them for Christmas! Ten towels just didn’t feel right.
So, I did something I rarely do. I entered the sanctum of my husband’s man cave on a Saturday afternoon (aka prime sports-watching time) to ask him a very serious question, “Honey, is it okay if we have just 10 towels?”
Josh paused. He looked at me for a long time. I’m certain that during this time he was deeply pondering the critical issue of the towel supply. He eventually responded with a somewhat confused, “Yeah, I guess. I mean, that sounds about right.”
That settled it. Ten towels.
Now remember… that was EIGHT YEARS ago. In that time, I have not increased our number of towels and everyone in our family has been dry when they needed to be dry.
This early venture into minimalism taught me two very clear things:
- I can live with a lot less than I think I can.
- I can definitely live with a lot less than society tells me I should.
In my closet right now, you would see five bath towels—because the other five are in use. You would also find 5 pool towels on the bottom shelf. So yes, technically we have three towels per person: 2 bath towels + 1 pool towel. The surprising thing about this is that my kids are on a swim team every summer and we’ve gotten by on this number of towels.
The most interesting thing about minimalism is how it changes my mindset.
Every June when I see the pool towels on sale at big box stores, I think, “Maybe I should just buy a couple more.” But then we get through the swim season just fine and I’m reminded again of lessons #1 and #2.
My towels are just one example of minimalist thinking. After I decluttered my towel cupboard, I went through the rest of my house, asking myself different variations of that original question:
Rose, how many coffee cups do you need?
Rose, how many pairs of shoes do you need?
Rose, how many boxes of holiday decorations do you really need?
And slowly, over a period of almost one year, my home physically transformed. My cluttered corners turned into open spaces. My formerly crammed cupboards had room to breathe. My now unstuffed drawers opened and closed easily.
So yes, my home looked neat and tidy, but that wasn’t the point. That wasn’t why I kept doing what I was doing. The reason I kept doing it was because of how I felt. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, I felt free. I felt at peace. I started to find myself, at the ends of my long working + parenting days, relaxing on my couch instead of frantically picking up my stuff.
So today I want to encourage you: ask yourself a life-changing question.
Insert any word you like (towels, sweaters, hammers, wine glasses, email subscriptions, volunteer commitments, etc.) into the blank space:
How many _______________ do you need?
My wish is that this simple question starts you on a journey toward a more peaceful life, full of the possibilities of open spaces.
Cheers to less stuff and more you!
***
Rose Lounsbury is a minimalism and simplicity coach, speaker, and author of the Amazon bestselling Less: Minimalism for Real. Rose spends her days speaking, writing, coaching her clients and online students to stuff-free freedom. Rose’s advice has been featured in USA Today, and she’s been a guest on Good Day Columbus, NPR, Good Morning Cincinnati, and Living Dayton. You can find her online at RoseLounsbury.com.
Katie Brown Dickerson says
A long time ago I read a book by A Mennonite, Doris Longacre, “Living More with Less”. She tells a true story of a missionary couple preparing to return back to the States. The wife asks the young man who had served as their guide and interpreter if he would like some of her husband’s shirts. He answered, “No, I have two shirts and I can only wear one at a time.” This story has stayed with me all these years.
Tina says
We used to get lots of guests because we live near OHare airport. Then my daughter lost her job after many years on her own. Luckily, we had an extra room. My son used his home as the place to house visitors. Planning changes if the guests are young and can use a sleeping bag or air mattress or if they are older and need a real bed.
Wayne says
One towel per person – when you wash do so in the morning, they’ll be dry before the evening shower.
Guests? They bring their own! Ive NEVER arrived at anyone’s home without my own towel.
Clothes – max five of each. Five shirts, five shorts, five underpants. Two pairs long pants. You wash at least once a week so no need for any more.
One pair shoes and one pair flip flops is all I have.
Also have a “one in one out policy”, i.e. if I but a new shirt, one old must go.
Works well for me.
I have a strange phobia of full cupboards – opening one brings on a kind of anxiety attack!
Tina says
We have two bath towels per person. One extra old towel my daughter uses when dying her hair. Four dish towels. Four hand towels– we have two bathrooms. Old stained towels are cut in half for rags. I have some cheap throw blankets for the furniture because we have a black cat. And we could get rid of lots more stuff.
Cathryn says
I’ve NEVER brought a towel as a guest. I depend on the person I’m staying with to provide one. Same with my guests. I provide them. Why would you expect guests to waste space dragging towels around, especially if you’re flying?
Deanna says
I love it, Rose. Thank you! It’s such a simple question and it gets to the heart of the matter. Cheers, fellow Ohioan!
Dean Bramlett says
This is the 1st blog EVER that truly changed my life…How Many towels does one person need? Since reading this article I have taken 8 large black garbage bags of un-needed, overstockted stuff I had in my closets to donate. I have empty drawers, my clothes bar in the closet is no longer sagging in the middle. AND I have only been through my bedroom and part of the bathroom. Just wait till I get to the living room, kitchen, patio and garage! WOW Thank you.
Rose says
I am a huge proponent of having what I actually use, but I often see this towel example and it drives me crazy. For bath towels we have two per person, but our house came with a pool so we have pool towels and those you must have extra since you will have guests swimming in your pool and they never bring towels. Also I have a huge stack of old towels and we use them ALL THE TIME. Does no one here have messes or children or dogs or guests? What do you use to clean the flood your child creates the day they leave the shower curtain outside the tub, or the toilet overflows, or your water heater breaks? What do you dry your dogs of with or clean middle of the night throw up with? I use them when painting and cleaning, inside and out, and I am sorry if you have guests and are not going to provide towels, please tell them before they come. Make sure it is you who is using the beach towel or sharing (never should a guest have to share a towel!). Haha I was just wondering all this because I use my towels for everything! I know we are all different in our uses, but someone else must clean and do home projects all the time and reuse all their all towels.
Danielle says
These were my thoughts exactly about the towels. Not my biggest priority to thin out. However I don’t couldnt relate with her saying Spring towels or Christmas towels. I have had the same towels since we got married 25 years ago. And have added many over the years due to having 6 kids, guests, cats, and now a dog. I do need many towels and for all the same reasons you mentioned. Lol. Now Books? That’s another story.
Terry Brien says
Definately – couldn’t agree more. Now I just need to ask my partner this question.
Lisa says
I personally wouldnt use towels for barf. Paper towels. No way im throwing towels in the washer with puke on them. We generally dont have house guest and dogs arent generally left out to get wet or muddy. To be honest we have more towels then 2 each but i was going through mine when this article popped up. We are moving 1500 miles soon and i want as little bulk as possible.
Kathy says
Agree about the dog barf, Lisa! ALWAYS use something disposable for that!
Brenda says
This was us!!! I got rid of a bunch of old towels, trying to pare things down and then our hot water heater broke down and leaked all over our basement. Huge regret, getting rid of those towels. I had to use our good towels to mop everything up. It was so bad. I have no problems getting rid of stuff we don’t need, but that was a really bad decision!!!!
Bunny says
My kids always had lots of friends coming to stay at our lakehouse. They never brought their own beach towels so I started giving them only the oldest, thinnest bath towels I had. The smaller size and thinness made them faster to wash and dry, and the kids never complained or seemed embarrassed by them!
Roxanne says
We have 10 people in our home and we don’t have two towels per person but it still feels like there are way too many towels!! And way too many of everything else. Even though we dont have alot of any one thing.
Mary says
I wish we could park down to 2 towels per person but we frequently have friends and family i’ve for the weekend so we need more towels than that. Same goes for dishes. I would donate half my stash of dishes but we use them for the parties and bbqs that we have with friends multiple times a year. I’d prefer not to use paper or plastic to reduce waste. Anyone have suggestions for how someone like me can be more minimalist? My wardrobe is minimalist but not my house stuff for the reasons above!
Victoria says
That sounds right to me.
I had company over to my newly minimal RV and they had to drink wine in a cup because I only had two wine glasses….
Susan E says
But the point of minimalist lifestyle is that you have ENOUGH and not more than you need. I’m sure your visitors were there to enjoy your company, not your wine glasses. I have served wine in juice glasses because no one wanted to have to wash the wine glasses- guess what, it tasted fine and there was more time to enjoy each other. Nobody missed out.
Kendall Sapp says
Hi. I would think that being minimalist would mean that you only have enough to suit you and your life. So if you have lots of guests, then more towels would be appropriate for you. What I am finding helpful is to segregate the items that are for guests, emergencies, trips, etc. My guest bath has a large cabinet built in. So I put all the guest oriented items there. I also put all the first aide type items in that cabinet. I know where they are, but I’m not seeing them every day so they aren’t cluttering up my mind.
If you don’t have a separate cabinet, maybe you could use bins or boxes, etc.
Being minimalist is about being minimal fir you and not letting what others think dictate what you do or do not own.
Good luck.
Kendall
MelD says
Agreed. I keep one small chest (a seat, as it happens) that contains guest bedding and towels. If closets were a thing in this house, I would add the extra kitchenware that is only ever used for guests! For now, it stays in the kitchen cupboard but there is room so I guess it’s ok.
I got the towels sorted years ago, what a difference. I was given a lot of other people’s surplus towels when I started out as a (very) young mom and they were all getting a bit “tired” and threadbare. We had 1.5 bathrooms: I got just the number of towels the family (5) needed in the main bathroom (2 small, one large because girls = hair – now I’d also do two bath towels each) in one colour to match and a couple of guest (hand) towels to match the powder room. As towels generally get washed regularly, this was plenty.
I gave all the extra towels to a dog’s home as bedding.
Cathryn says
If you have it and use it multiple times a year, it’s not an issue and doesn’t need purging. (I.e., you guest dishes) The point of minimalism is not having basements, attics, closets and drawers stuffed with things ppl rarely or never use.
Guro says
That is so true – you need less than you think! My mantra for 2020 is “one is enough” when it comes to clothes and shoes. Too often I find myself buying the same item, but in a slightly different shape or colour. Black boots with and without buckles. Blue jeans of slightly different shades of blue. Black knit cardigans with slightly different shape. But really – one is enough!
Toni says
Do you mean when buying something? Or to have?
Mylène says
Hello,
I am a french woman (sorry for my mistakes).
I decided to become a minimalist less than one year ago.
Next time I will try to explain what I am feeling with the minimalism, I will take this example of towels.
This article, describes with precision which changes have operated, in my spirit during this last year.
Thank you for your work.
Bonjour de France :-)
Gail says
Bonjour! I love France and have visited many times. The thing that made me realize how we Americans have to have it all was by studying the French! So many people in Paris, anyway, live in tiny apartments (One room that serves as living room, kitchen, and bedroom,). If you all can get by with so little space, I should be able to, also. It has made me re-think what I really need to survive.