“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.” —Jim Carrey
Our world applauds success. And well it should. It is entirely appropriate to champion those who develop their talents, work hard, and overcome obstacles. There are many successful people I admire in my own life.
But our world is also fixated on praising excess. We are not the first society to worship conspicuous consumption, but we do continue the practice.
Magazines overexpose the details of the rich and famous. News publications rank those with the greatest net worth. Reality television applauds the lifestyle of those who live in luxury. And the Internet attracts readers with countless stories about them.
Even in our own lives, we do the same. We comment on the size of the houses in the neighborhood down the street. We point out the luxury car in the lane next to us. We envy fashionable clothes and designer handbags.
We desire to live the life of those who seem to have it all. In our hearts and in our affections, we praise those who live with excess.
But we are making a big mistake.
Success and excess are not the same.
7 Reasons Why We Should Stop Praising Excess.
1. Excess is often arbitrary. Sometimes, financial gain is achieved through hard work, dedication, and devoted discipline. But not always. Often times, wealth is only a result of heritage, dishonesty, or just plain luck. In those cases, no praise has been earned. And telling the difference is often more difficult than we realize.
2. Excess is rarely the wisest use of our money. Harvey Mackay once said, “If you can afford a fancy car, you can make more of an impact driving an ordinary one.” His statement is true. There are better things to do with our money than spend it on ourselves. This advice stands as wisdom when purchasing cars, houses, clothes, or technology. Just because you have the financial resources to afford excess, that does not mean it is the best option for your life. We should stop praising those who use it exclusively to that end.
3. Excess adds stress and anxiety to our lives. Not only is there a greater good that could be accomplished with our money, but increased possessions add burden and weight to our lives. Every increased possession adds increased worry. It becomes one more thing to manage, store, repair, and remove. Adding extra burden to our already short lives seems like a foolish thing to admire.
4. Excess is harming the environment around us. It is difficult to ignore the impact our praise of excess has meant on the earth. Perhaps Gandhi said it best, “The world has enough for everyone’s need, but not enough for everyone’s greed.” Holding up those who flaunt their excess as an example to follow is hardly a wise decision for anyone’s future.
5. Excess causes us to praise the wrong things. Our world keeps checking the wrong scoreboard. Those who live in excess are not necessarily the ones who live the most fulfilled lives. Often times, it is those who live quietly, humbly, and in the service of others who are the happiest. Those are the choices we should be praising and those are the lives we should be emulating.
6. Excess causes us to lose sight of the things we already have. It is impossible to find peace, gratitude, and contentment while holding on to envy of those who have more. Unfortunately, we do it all the time. Admiration is a healthy emotion, but envy is not. And choosing to exalt those who flaunt their excess results only in greater discontent.
7. Excess is not the answer. Everyone is looking for answers to the most important questions we are asking: What is the purpose of this life? Where can I find fulfillment? And what does it mean to live an abundant life? These are difficult questions with difficult answers. But surely, “owning as much stuff as possible” is not the answer to any of them. There are greater pursuits available to us than excess. But they can be difficult to discover when all our energies are being directed at the wrong things.
Admire success. But do not praise excess. Our society is longing for people who can tell the difference. (tweet that)
About Joshua Becker
Awesome! I enjoyed reading all the comments. Thanks, Joshua.
As I grown into my pursuit of more frugal minimalism, I found I don’t envy or resent success, however I pity those who obviously don’t have it, spending their entire futures trying to buy class.
Excuse me? This quote from Jim Carrey, who demands 20 MILLION dollars for each movie he makes? And he’s saying people shouldn’t want so much stuff?
Whenever my husband and I drive throu a neighbourhood of ‘excess’ (by our definition) he always comments, ‘Funny thing is…..as you drive. By the house you can’t tell who is debt free and who is hundreds of thousands in debt.
We live in a small bungalow, retired now, mortgage free for years already. We thought of and planned for the educations of our two kids from the time they took their first breaths. we treated ourselves to our first new car in 34 years when hubby retired. We have always respected and been grateful for our belongings but life has never revolved around them. While much of the rest of the world flocks to Disneyworld, we retreat to a small rented cottage with kids and baby grand daughters to make sand castles and splash in the lake.
I would not change my life for the world.
Bonni I love the life you lived, sounds so very rewarding. I do wish that for everyone.
Sometimes others think those of us who choose a more minimalist ic approach are stuck in a sort of sour grapes mentality. It is not necessary to have lived with great excess to know it does not feed the soul. The wisest ones among us are those can can learn from the experiences of others. Simple is simply simpler, you know?
You put into words what I have always believed to be true. It is so important to find the balance between working hard to succeed and having success become an idol. Thank you for the thoughtful post!
My mom is in the hospital and I had such plans. I was going to move her near me and now I couldn’t. Instead, I went to the hospital each day to see her and came home to clean out her condo. She stocked up on so many things and had so many boxes of books and magazines. Because they were moldy the library wouldn’t take them. I had to throw out so many things. This was after I had decided about a year ago to be a minimalist. Every week I had given a bag or two to Goodwill, or taken a bag of art supplies to a preschool. My mom had lived during the Depression and been an orphan from World War II, she couldn’t throw out anything. I grew up in a house where every cupboard and closet was full, and my reaction was to live simply. I never was very interested in clothes, but I did buy art supplies. When my mom gets better I’m going to move her to a senior apartment about 400 sq ft. right near me so I can go over there every week and keep her from piling up so much stuff.
Thanks so much for your thoughts on excess. Many years ago I read “Your Money of your Life” and it made me think about the life energy each and every purchase cost me. I started thinking more about do I really need another unnecessary something or other that is sucking my time? No. I think not.
I too, once adhered to the idea that stuff = success = self – worth but on the morning of August 12th, 2013 I awoke to a major stroke at the age of 55 and that radically changed my thinking. I found this blog and others like it and starting bit by bit, day by day giving away the excess. my stuff no longer had any appeal for me and in fact may have led to my own downfall by working way to hard and too much. Today my house is serene, uncluttered and streamlined. My goals are different. I am now back to work as a Nurse Manager for a nursing home less than a mile from my house and I approach my work differently. I am there to serve the residents and my community, not to work for material goods. I go home and sit still and just listen to the sounds of nature instead of shopping online. Life is good.
“I go home and sit still and just listen to the sounds of nature instead of shopping online. Life is good”. The dream was aways within grasp.
always
Excess, I fear, is a mere distraction from peoples’ true anxieties and worries in life and until they address their personal reasons, they will continue to seek more!
I loved the opening Jim Carrey quote. I could only imagine what life experiences lead him to come to that profound conclusion.
I just interviewed a number of minimalist bloggers for a post on my blog, and nearly everyone said that they had once fallen for the more stuff = success trap. It’s pretty deeply ingrained in society!
Here’s a post I wrote that might help some people who are just getting started decluttering and living with less: http://ourjourneytoithaca.com/2014/07/30/minimalism-a-beginners-guide-revised-version/
Beautifully crafted post Jason! Jim Carrey sure has been profound lately. Love your opening with his quote!
And by Jason, I of course mean Joshua!
Looooooong day at work. My most humble apologies. I’m actually a big fan of this blog, super embarrassed :[
If it’s any excuse Jason Becker is one of my favourite guitar players, hence the slip I imagine =]
Oh EmeraldCityGirl, my jaw dropped! You are so right about “people who seek excess are compensating for some loss or gap or failing or lack of fulfillment in a relationship and “go shopping” to patch over their feelings”!!! A few days ago, I told my partner about that same thing!
Since Fall last year, we have downsized 90% of our belongings and only keep what we really love, really use, and have great quality (I am so done constantly replacing cheap items!), we haven’t stopped yet because junks (brand new stuff we do not need / want / like) from family members are flowing like waterfalls! I don’t know how to stop them from buying us clearance items :(
…my own definition of “enough” as my SmartPhone runs away with my sentence and posts before I’m done.
:|
Twenty years ago when her father and I were going through a divorce, my then-six-year old daughter wason a walk with me to feed the ducks at the nearby pond. She somehow started talking about her “wants” from Barbies and such to a bike and all of the things that little girls learn to want.
I asked her, after hearing this long list, “Cass, if you had EVERYTHING you just named, AND a bunch more cool stuff, AND all of the clothes and shoes you could ever dream of, THEN what would you want?”
She thre down the sack of old bread we were going to feed to the ducks, hit the path with great force and stomped, “What I really would want is for you and Dad to be happy again and for us all to live together!”
Her father died when she was nine.
I suspect that people who seek excess are compensating for some loss or gap or failing or lack of fulfillment in a relationship and “go shopping” to patch over their feelings. Not in a conscious way, of course.
I see excess and I feel sad for those whose house has more bedrooms than they need, more stuff than they can possibly take care of, and pay others to maintain their lifestyle (landscapers mow the lawn, manicurists paint their nails, tutors teach their kids) and then feel gratitude that it’s not my life. No thank you!
Do I have emotional holes? Yes. Do I long for certain “things”? Yes. But I’m working at finding my own definition if “en
The question to ask ones self is, if you lost every dollar and possession you had ever made would you still be worth something?
My answer would be yes.
Brilliant article! We have to appreciate what we have and stop comparing ourselves to others. It is perfectly fine to go for what we want and realise our dreams – just be responsible :-)
When I comment on neighbors houses it is to either say, “Look what a waste of resources” or “Isn’t that an adorable cottage.”
I winter in a conversion van which I drive to the desert southwest. Plenty of room in my RV for me to live comfortably but little room in it for any excess. But I do have one compartment in which I put things I want to give away the next chance I get. It amazes me that I can have excess while living in a van.
Joshua,
I cannot express how much it helps me to read your posts and I am very grateful. Thank you and keep up the great news of minimalism.
I used to read magazines featuring the homes of famous and rich people,as amazing it is but when you start embracing simplicity and contentment you won’t dream about it.
It is very freeing to no longer even want to live in a larger home.
This could come with age. When our family was young,the house filled with children, it seemed perfect. And when they all visit, it seems good, too.
But our large house is 2000 square ft. To some that would also seem large , to others not so large.
I grew up in the fifties when houses were smaller and families were larger. That seems to make more sense. Kids shared bedrooms, there was one bathroom, one tv. We all learned about compromise and taking turns, how to get along with others. It was a great way to grow up.
“It is impossible to find peace, gratitude, and contentment while holding on to envy of those who have more. “
That’s the thing, whatever you buy, you will always eventually get bored and need something else, something better, which create this never-ending cycle of dissatisfaction and unnecessary consumption.
It is exactly like a junky that need is fix.
It’s like a vicious addiction that enslave us.
We need to work to buy some more toys, in order to feel better and then be ready to work more, to buy some more toys, in order to feel better and then be ready to work more, to buy some more toys… It doesn’t make much sense ..
What about just feeling good now ….from within…. that it!
Joshua, you do a great job! It is a privilege to write for the first time after years or reading you, Courtney, and Leo.
I have a modest contribution…
In the post, you wrote “Excess is often arbitrary. Sometimes, financial gain is achieved through hard work, dedication, and devoted discipline. But not always. Often times, wealth is only a result of heritage, dishonesty, or just plain luck.”
Heritage IS often the result of hard work, intelligence, sacrifice, and dedication to a goal of raising your economic power and the family tree to a new level — it does not belong in the same breath as dishonesty and luck. This said, the good experiences and chance to do real GOOD in the world should not be squandered on conspicuous consumption. This consumption should certainly not be praised. On the flip side, it is heartwarming, charming and good when a person driving that small, ten-year-old, well-maintained, clean beige sedan gives money to build a new hospital wing. It happens.
I would replace “heritage” with the more statistically accurate model, DEBT. How many beautiful new SUV’s do you see at the stoplight that are purchased with onerous, excessive…debt? Fifty percent would be a conservative estimate. Conspicuous consumption exhibited beyond means — goodness gracious, we CANNOT, should not praise this.
Keep writing — you are doing great good.
William, it is a pleasure to have you comment. Thank you for your contribution to the conversation.
When I chose the word “heritage,” I was thinking specifically of individuals who live an excessive lifestyle but did not earn the money on their own. It was not meant to demean the work of their parents or grandparents who may have passed the finances on to them. It was meant to indicate, in these specific examples, that the individual living in excess had little to do with their financial standing.
Good clarification — you perfectly got my meaning, thank you. And, I agree with your full message. It is hard for many of us to observe a unappreciative, child-minded person squander the proceeds of their heritage, be it wealth, voice, or athleticism. However you see it god, the economic system, society, and family allow you the power of wealth and abilities to mange responsibly for a greater good, not your own conspicuous consumption. Thank you again for this nice chance to write.
Rarely do I so thoroughly read or enjoy a blog conversation as much as this. It caught my eye because my daughter has been practicing a minimalist lifestyle with her family for several years now. She’s always encouraging me to let go of ‘things’. My situation isn’t unique, I’m sure, but I haven’t seen anyone mention the things that are inherited (as opposed to money). We’ve lost 3 parents and 3 other relatives within a decade and each had belongings that had no where else to go. The majority of their belongings were either sold or donated. However, those special items that hold memories ended up with me. Our home is small and I now find myself moving things from one area to the next, trying to regain some semblance of space and peace. Slowly, the items are leaving our nest. It’s been quite an arduous process of securing, maintaining and then releasing these things that were special to loved ones, and also to myself. With my father’s recent passing, it has indeed become more burdensome. Your comment on how ‘stuff’ can add stress and anxiety to one’s life has become a reality for me. I’m thinking that I must put things in perspective and know that it’s OK to choose my own peace and simplicity over items that represent memories for myself or someone else special. This was a great article for me to read, along with everyone’s comments, to remind me that it’s all about the choices we make. thank you!!
Hi Judy,
I just read your reply and thought I’d comment. Is hard letting go of things when it feels like it’s letting go of a person. Have you tried taking photographs of treasured objects? I have taken to doing that with sentimental items as it’s usually all that’s needed to look at the photo if I’m feeling nostalgic and makes the decision to post with them much easier.
Part with them even.
I pride myself in not having excess except in my bank account. I have never had debt and I work hard not to have it. I do enjoy some luxury items but none of them are purses or watches. They are in the form of living animals, two siamese cats. Expensive to obtain and maintain but their lives have value to me. Objects not so much. I also valued education so I spent my money on that. Most of what I value cannot be seen with the naked eye.
I so agree with everything Joshua says in this post. The culture of excess is rampant in America.
I agree with your points, but I don’t think excess is as much of a problem as you think. It’s true that our society has a lot of things flipped upside down, but think about it – people are not looking up to people with the most money or possessions.
Kids want to be like their favorite actor or a celebrity more than like Bill Gates or Carlos Slim Helu. Even when Mac Miller talks about lavish lifestyle he references Donald Trump, who is only #408 on Forbes’ richest list, but he’s more in the spotlight than other people with much more excess.
I think the bigger problem is that younger generations define success in the wrong way – they want to copy the lifestyle of other people rather than do what works for them.
I don’t see Bill or Carlos as being excessive. They are the richest but I do not recall any reports of excess. Bill gives large portions of his money away and Carlos does not flaunt the fact that he has more dinero than Bill. LOL
Trump is another matter and can be a perfect example of the worship of the excessive.
Headlines today – 1 in 3 Americans (1 in 3!) are being hounded by debt collectors. In my state of Texas – it is much worse. In McAllen, Texas, it is 51%.
I have been beating myself up over the past few months, as I am successful in my own mind (I have very few things, and I have been able to backpack through a bunch of countries because I am able to save up), but no one else around me seems to see it that way. They see that I do not have a car, I live with my parents, I have very few clothing and possessions, I don’t have an expensive purse and so on.
In the eyes of society, I am a failure, because I haven’t gone with excess. But in my eyes, I feel successful because I am living my life to the fullest, staying in the moment, and living with minimal harm to the environment.
Reading this post clarified that difference between success and excess for me. You don’t need excess to be successful (as in my case). I have to remember that next time someone tries to make me feel bad for not having something that everyone in my circle has.
And you care about what those around you think of your lifestyle, why? We drive 15 year old cars. Paid cash for each of them. One was bought when it was 2 years old and the other when it was 15 years old. A conscious decision. The neighbors drive new cars, and have a low slung sports car or a golf cart in the 3rd stall. I doubt they give my cars a second look. You obviously are still young and that peer thing is still a part of your social life. The older you get, it simply doesn’t matter what someone thinks. It only matters if you are living the live you want.
Do not let anyone make you feel bad about the lifestyle you have chosen. You are happy, enjoing your life and not harming anyone – so go ahead and enjoy your life and don´t worry about other people´s opinion.
The game is real and it comes with a cost for both parties (the perceived Haves and the perceived Have Nots.) Our society is designed to keep everyone wondering how they are being perceived. Nobody ever wins this game (the vagabond or the “Excessist”) as material things rule one’s life, and jealousy affects everyone. Unless you become a Nun and forfet your life, you will be subject to being judged for everything you do, or don’t do. Adults are just children who have learned to disquise their behavior, and learn how to get under someone’s skin in adult manners.
Thank you Joshua for being here for us. Funny—I still “miss” the Victorian house (that I never had)! IF I had tons and tons of money…to be honest, I think I’d get a BIG old house. Just a dream of mine, that all. I guess like Rob who admits he wants a fancy convertible. I DO drive past old Victorians and say “Oh! Look at that!” But I’m smart enough to realize that behind those fancy doors can be a family in pain. I love history a lot and that is a part of it. Historical homes draw me in. But in my “real” world I appreciate my cozy home and I know I am blessed beyond measure. IF I had my dream house, I would not fill it up with clutter. I would keep it minimally decorated and just enjoy the space…and hallways…and staircases…and parlors…!!! Hey—one can still dream! :)
I think this every time I look in my driveway. There was a better decision that could have been made. But with every bad choice there is an opportunity to learn from it so it hope to enjoy my quality item until the wheels fall off. This is a long and difficult process to becoming minimalist. I don’t know if other people will look at it as minimalist but we are minimizing. Selling off our vinyl records we don’t listen to anymore. Giving away clothes and trinkets lurking in boxes in the basement. It feels so good to get rid of these excess items that do not serve us a purpose
Must one be frugal and minimalist? For example, I have always loved a certain fancy convertible vehicle. If I can afford it and it doesn’t impact my lifestyle, is there a downside is obtaining it? Is it excessive or just an expression of my individuality?
I do not think one needs to be frugal to be minimalist. The lifestyle principles can be related, but do not have to be. In fact, I think one of the greatest benefits of minimalism is the opportunity to own higher quality things—items that break less and last longer.
Pertaining to your specific question, there may not be a downside to obtaining it. But, there may be a greater good you could accomplish in the world if you bought something less expensive—a greater good that would actually result in longer lasting joy than a new car.
But I’m just trying to challenge assumptions and change the way we look at things.
I’m a frugal minimalist, a returned Peace Corps volunteer, worked w Red Cross in the war zone, spent much of my life overseas working in development, diplomacy and rights of girls and women. AND after a particularly tough assignment, I was back in USA for a couple of years. With great joy I bought and drove a used, classic MG midget soft top. Never regretted it!
Now retired, in my happy small green home, tankless water heater and less, with knees that would no longer let me easily fold into 3″ off the ground Midget, I’m so glad I bought and enjoyed it then.
CARPE DIEM !
Joan, I love your comment. I had a serious health issue when I was in my mid twenties, and I promised myself that when I could, I’d buy myself that little sports car I always dreamed of but never got. Well, 15 years later, I bought myself a red MG Midget, and loved having it for two years. Your comment made me chuckle because I totally understood. I don’t consider an MG Midget excess, but it was certainly a luxury, and I LOVED it.
Aside from the issue of what other good you could be doing with the money spent on that convertible, it sounds to me like that convertible would bring you joy, not be a burden, and would not lose its appeal after a short time. To me, excess is stuff for the sake of stuff, or for the sake of appearances. If that convertible makes you happy, you should go for it!
Excess is if you bought more convertibles than you can ever drive. I love Jay Leno, but the number of cars he owns would be considered excessive. ;-) Buying ONE, not so much.
Rob Davis–
Interestingly…my darling husband longed for a classic car–but I on the other hand have been a frugal person living voluntarily simple since we met and married (he won’t admit it but that was part of his attraction to me ;)– and I didn’t see the need for the car. I relented and he bought the dream car…and he is now selling the dream car–he didn’t find “any joy in it” (words out of his mouth). Luxury cars are expensive to maintain and insure and every time he drove it something happened that had to be fixed so it was perfect again… However, sometimes you have to live that lesson to learn it–hope if you do get that dream car you have a better time than we did.
Cheers,
Stacy
I agree!My husband and I have taught our kids not to waste, and they have to give at least 10% of their birthday money or allowances to’Tzedaka'( the Hebrew word for charity), But they can also indulge themselves once in a while in something ‘decadent’/not a necessity- for me its clothes, for my kids it might be a comic book, musicCD, etc
Just the upkeep of it. And realizing that the car isn’t the source of your happiness. Actually, I have found that relationship with Christ is my source of happiness. I have learned to pray about a major purchase; and God does respond … usually through the scriptures … and then I feel more settled and assured about a decision. I find that I have to beat down lust (excess, wanting more than I need) with a stick … and that stick is prayer and the Word of God.
I just saw an article in my local news about a woman in Texas who had a custom designed 3000 sq ft closet built. it had multi stories and one wall was built to showcase her purses. It turned my stomach to see it cause it came right after the news of the suffering in the Middle East.
there is sadly MUCH obscene wealth excess and people who blatantly flaunt it.
There is enough for everyone’s need but NOT for everyone’s GREED!!!
sadly this does not appear to be true in many countries, but if some of the countries’ governments could spend on food rather than armaments, then surely everyone could eat, have clean water, get a basic education, etc.
I just don’t know what is going to happen to this planet.
I can’t systematically dismiss this article. But … it should be noted that “Greed” does not necessarily exist in the heart of the possessor … it exists in the heart of the observer or the person coveting the possessions and money of another. As a direct result, Greed is NOT wanting to keep or utilize the fruits or your labors and it is NOT inherently sinful to want to keep what you have earned.
FAR too often people associate “Greed” with someone that they deem has “too much” money or stuff … when the reality is that it is that that individual has “more” stuff than the person coveting the “stuff” and thus they attempt to transfer their envy and lust for that stuff onto the individual. That transfer of emotion couldn’t be more backward if it tried … it is the person that is coveting or lusting after someone else’s money or possessions that is “Greed” … pure and simple.
This article is on the money about not valuing “excess” … but it incorrectly tied the emotion of “Greed” to those that have possessions. The author would be far better off telling people to be pure in their own heart and not try to “acquire” excess possessions as the crux of the article and not implying that somehow the people that already have things are somehow bad.
We need to stop demonizing the successful in this country.
@ Informed1…well said…the distance between ‘the haves’ and ‘the have nots’ is in their minds, and their hearts, perception is reality.
The Gift is seeing past ALL the labels…
“Denial is a finger of blame pointing toward another.
Conflict is an expectation imposed onto another.
Frustration is the inability to control the will of another.
Sadness is a dependency on another.
Loneliness is waiting for another to arrive.
Solitude is freedom from needing another.
Harmony is embracing the uniqueness of another.
Grace is seeing there is no other.
Enlightenment is when the subjects of one and another disappear.
Love is what remains throughout it all.” ~ Matt Kahn
This reply sounds like a defense from someone (Informed1) who has acquired (notice I did not say ‘earned’) excessive wealth. There is no way anyone can ‘earn’ billions of dollars. They acquire that much only because they do not distribute it equitably to those (employees, customers, shareholders) who helped them obtain those revenues. Someone can be successful without acquiring inappropriate amounts of wealth.
are you talking about the woman with the 500k closet? I just skimmed past an article about that. Although beautiful, it was excessive
Yep, that’s the one. 500K to build and hold 2 million dollars worth of her stuff!
Stole the idea from Sex and the City btw.
Looks like someone emptied the 3 story closet – just like this article said the more you have the more you have to worry about it being stole http://6abc.com/fashion/largest-closet-in-america-robbed-in-texas/235633/
I saw the same article. I was sickened by the fact that she was so upset that her purses were stolen than by anything else.
People have the freedom to do what they want with their money. Just because you think it’s wrong doesn’t aka it so. One day she will wake up and realize the error of her ways and go minimalist like us.