Note: This is a guest post from Karen Trefzger of Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff.
When I first began decluttering, I had no idea how long it would take, or even how much unneeded, unloved stuff I had. As I worked through the process—sometimes with quick successes and sometimes more slowly and painstakingly—I began to feel lightness and freedom. I enjoyed having less to care for and worry about, and more time for relationships, goals, and fun.
However, eventually I realized that decluttering isn’t magic. It’s not a once-and-done solution that simplifies life forever after.
You see, clutter is a symptom. And just as a cold medication may bring down your fever, keep your nose from running, and quiet your cough without actually making you well, decluttering reduces visual noise, makes your house easier to keep in order, and soothes stress and overwhelm without getting to the root of the problem. You still have to go through the process of healing the habits that continue to allow clutter into your life.
Four ways to clear clutter from the inside out:
1. Limit social media usage.
Social media can be a way to keep in touch and find inspiration, but it can also be a big time waster and a way to compare myself, my home, my achievements, and my life with others.
Comparison might help us choose between two or more options. It might inspire us toward self-improvement. But most often, comparing ourselves with what others have or do leads to jealousy and dissatisfaction. And trying to “keep up” leads to an endless search for more. We become unhappy, even if we have enough and should appreciate what we have.
Limiting my time on social media (even deleting some of my profiles) has helped me want less, avoid impulse purchases (which lead to debt and clutter), and be more aware of my blessings.
2. Decide once.
Some sources suggest that adults make 35,000 decisions per day, from what to wear to what to eat to whether to answer the phone or let it go to voicemail.
Even if that number seems somewhat high, the truth is that we do make decisions large and small from the moment we wake until we fall asleep. At some point, decision fatigue sets in and we start losing self-control and willpower. Our brains conserve energy by acting on impulse or avoiding decisions all together. That’s why you tell your partner, “I don’t care what we eat for dinner—you decide!” Or even, “Let’s just order a pizza tonight.”
One way to overcome decision fatigue (which will also help you avoid impulse purchases and junk accumulation) is to stick with routines. Decide once, and stop reinventing the wheel.
Some areas where “decide once” works particularly well:
- waking and bed times
- wearing a uniform or capsule wardrobe
- meal planning and prep
- certain chores/cleaning on certain days
- a certain time and place for exercise
- dealing with the daily mail
- specific times to check email, texts, and phone messages
- specific times for prayer, meditation, or a gratitude practice
3. Let go of imaginary needs.
Babies are happy with so little: Mama’s milk, a few clothes, a safe place to sleep, lots of love.
They have few needs, and yet they’re happy. Or if they’re not happy, it’s usually because one of their few needs isn’t being met.
However, as they grow, those needs expand. They become insatiable.
As adults, we work more, shop more, and still we’re not satisfied. Yet many of our needs are imaginary, fueled by fears, insecurities, and the need to fit in and keep up.
Have any of these imaginary needs become part of your life?
- the need to be super-busy
- the need to be constantly entertained
- the need to please everyone
- the need to stay current with news and trends
- the need to look perfect and be perfect
- the need to buy/receive gifts for/from everyone on every occasion
- the need to impress others
- the need to control the future and be prepared for every contingency
- the need to be an early adopter
- the need for bigger and bigger experiences and achievements
Letting go isn’t easy. It can be humbling, or even scary. But you can pay attention to how you’re spending your mental energy, make a list of all the things you do and think about, and then decide what’s truly necessary and good.
When you start living with just those essential activities, you might expose some emotions you’ve been crowding out and covering up. You might feel “bored.” You’ve become used to filling your time and thoughts with things that distract you from your main purpose and from simple daily pleasures.
But there’s hope. You can adjust. Soon you won’t need the constant inputs from media, shopping, technology, and a go-go-go lifestyle. You’ll be more inner-directed. And you can fill your life with the things you find truly important and meaningful.
4. Practice consistently.
I’ve read many, many books and articles about losing weight and adopting a healthier diet and lifestyle, yet I have no long-term success in those areas. (I do eat a lot of vegetables, fruits, legumes, and whole grains.)
Reading about self-improvement can give you much of the pleasure and excitement of changing your life without doing anything really demanding. As long as I’m reading about change or making plans to change, I might not begin the hard work of change. All of my reading and planning is really procrastination.
It’s possible that I want to change but don’t really trust myself. I look at my decades of being overweight and feel doomed to failure. Maybe I’m looking for the magic solution to fix my problem overnight.
But just like decluttering, a new diet isn’t magic. It doesn’t take a ton of special knowledge or carefully honed skills (unlike becoming a surgeon or a violinist). You just have to do something real—take a walk every day, eat smaller portions, save dessert for Friday night only. To stay uncluttered, you need to:
- wait (a day, or two, or even seven) before you buy
- practice one in one out
- do small purges regularly
If you’ve decluttered, you already know how to do it. Of course you can keep reading for enlightenment and encouragement (and I hope you’ll choose my blog and books), but make sure you’re also taking the small, consistent actions that will keep your life clutter-free.
That’s where the magic is.
***
Karen Trefzger is a writer, singer, teacher, wife, mother, and grandmother who has been choosing a simpler life for over 20 years. She is the author of several books about minimalism, and blogs at Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff.
Jane Mary Skinner says
What a refreshing post! I enjoyed your honesty & wisdom. Yes, we have to create order & harmony in our lives, not needless busyness and noise. Thank you for writing.
I’m based in UK, by the way. On the weight-loss question, recent studies here indicate that highly processed foodstuffs in everyday items such as bread create difficulties for the body to break down these artificial chemical inputs. Natural fermented foods such as kefir, sauerkraut and yoghurt will increase intestinal bacteria (the good bacteria) & improve digestive health. Why not give it a try.
Best wishes, Karen.
Brenda says
I’m bipolar and I always feel like buying something makes me happy. However, my 1 bdrm apartment is packed, yet organized stuff. I feel that I can’t get ahead of my life. All is jumbled in my mind and I’m starting the declutter process. It takes time but I’m working on that right now and painting is also in the plans. Trying not to think too hard about it so I don’t freak myself out lol. Thanks for the article and all who replied
Charles says
Great article Karen. My key take away is to do more and implement more. It’s great learning but we also have to ‘do the work’
Mary Paitsel Woods says
I began my Decluttering journey in 1977 when my grandmother was about to visit and the guest room was a jumble of junk. I have continued becoming better and better each time through. I have found having a place you ate passion about sharing your abundance with (for me, Yeshua’s House in Petersburg, VA) makes it easier to let go of even your “good stuff”.
Why has it taken so long?
1. There were not many people sharing expertise when I started.
2. When you share life with other people, even if you are disciplined, they will add stuff to your home and life.
3. Times, seasons, and life change and with it your needs and wants.
Life is a marathon not a sprint. Each time I finish, I go back to the beginning and start over. My home is a canvas for family life. It nourishes my soul.
Thank you for your leadership and inspiration
Beth says
Mary, I have found this isn’t always true. Social media can be a way to hear new works from others on saving and managing finance to improve relationships. This book mentioned the use of mentorship in financial management in couples. It is not surprising that critics talk about it and mentioned Perele also for his contribution to the couple in the household. I think it also helps a lot to save money. found this to be untrue. Here is a new podcast I found interesting and social media certainly could be useful. It is by Romitt Sethi ” I will teach you to be rich”. Of course, you can never have a free lunch. I think having Prime on Amazon can get you to apps for nothing. Then, could it be libraries do have it to check out?
Judy says
Less “thinking about it” and more doing it is what I need in my life. Thanks for the motivational message :)
Eileen Manganella says
Such a great article! Slowly but surly doing all these things in my life. So much happier. 😊
Karen Trefzger says
Hi Mary, Judy, and Eileen. So glad you each found something valuable and encouraging in this post. I appreciate your comments.
Sybil says
Even though I love colorful clothing, I have a lot of black and white clothes because that’s what the store sells at certain times of the year. Black and white are not my best colors but wearing them makes it easy to get dressed or create a travel capsule. One third of my clothes are black and white. Keeps it simple. However, I’m artsy and enjoy bright colors and prints.
lynn says
wow!,this really hit home! I read and procrastinate a lot!!!! Excellent advice and motivation
Rachel says
Sybil, that hard-to-find nicer outfit for men I got very little for my father on Father’s Day. With his help, we got new ways to order at JC Penny, and won’t need to be too fancy because the stores do have not many options until they close and the sales are in summer. Spring is rather harder and you can ask for what is online instead of what they have only had, I found the prices are more significant when online has sales and you have more choices like sizes, colors, and styles. He will surely look great for any season. Good luck.
Sybil says
I agree it can be deceiving, you are new to online shopping you want it to arrive the same day. Shipping is absurd and I prefer in store for this way I can try mine and satisfied to wear it to party the same day and not paying extras
Karen Trefzger says
I understand, Lynn. Reading and dreaming are fun and easier than taking action, and I’ve done my share of procrastinating. Good luck to you.
Karen Trefzger says
Hi Sybil. I like bright colors too. My base colors are black and white, and I mix in jewel tones like emerald, sapphire, and garnet. Colorful, but minimal too.
Linda Turner says
This was the best article yet! will help me the rest of my life! Thank you!
Ive been decluttering for 3 years off and in. Having Garage sales every 6 months. I think one more in the cooler months and i will finally be free! Now when i go shopping, I rarely buy anything and i just take a picture of pretty things so i can look at them and enjoy again in the future.I want my life to be free of everything so i can relax and enjoy the time i have to do things i like to do.
Karen Trefzger says
Thanks for your comment, Linda. LOL, I’ve taken pictures too. You might enjoy my article at https://www.maximumgratitudeminimalstuff.com/2023/04/how-easy-smartphone-hack-can-save-you-money.html
It talks about the same idea.
Karen Trefzger says
Hi Linda, and thank you for your kind comment. I’m thrilled you found the article so helpful.
Lol, I’ve written about using my iPhone to take pictures of things that interest me instead of buying them. Saves a lot of money, and keeps clutter out of my home.
lowell hummer says
I have a new practice that reinforces me in keeping unneeded things out of my life and also enables others to do the same. It does take some time and a little effort but that aligns with my deepest social justice values.
I collect unwanted linens, housewares, clothes, books, dishes, toys–just about anything!–and redistribute things free of charge to our church food pantry clients. I load up the van, park it near the food line, and offer the items. So far, except for things too soiled or damaged for me to feel it was respectful to offer people, the only thing that has failed to find a new home was a cloth diaper that I ended up using as part of gift wrapping for a new mama. I burn or recycle, as appropriate, anything I cannot in good conscience offer others.
Donors have included people from my church, my husband’s work, empty nesters, someone who moved outside the continental US, my hairdressing salon, a local games club, and my book club. And now people are volunteering to help with the sorting and distribution!
Someone has donated a valuable handmade quilt that we will use as a fundraiser to buy things like socks and washcloths that we just never have enough of. This “vantry” shapes my week.
Karen Trefzger says
Lowell, it sounds like you’ve developed a wonderful ministry. Fantastic!
Angel says
How did you get that started? Just show up? Did you check in advance? I have a ton of like new clothes from my tean daughter. I have tried selling in a local app, for just enough to get a coffee or two and to have serious inquiries but no one follows through with pick up. I have 16 pairs of jeans that are not outdated. I don’t want to donate to a regular thrift store. Would like to give directly to people who may not have the funds to buy for the upcoming school year.
LavaidaVandelia says
Call a local food pantry that has on-site food distribution.
Ask them.
If they say ‘no’, ask them for a clothes bank in your area.
Then call another food pantry and repeat.
Eventually, you will either find a receptive food pantry or a receptive clothes bank.
Sarah Dolan-Adamec says
SUCH an excellent article… As a mom, teacher, wife, friend, etc. I resonated with so many of the topics mentioned. I also realized how long I’ve been reading about healthy diets and exercise- as opposed to taking action. Thank you so much for writing this.
Karen Trefzger says
You’re very welcome, Sarah. Take a small step in the direction you want to go ASAP – you won’t regret it.
Barbara says
These are all good recommendations.
One problem I have, and so do many seniors /disabled is the physical ability to move things, or reach them even though you really want to. We want to reclaim space for freedom of movement and so visitors are happy to come. But we need help. These services are out of our price range. So we are kind of stuck.
Are there any affordable senior services for such circumstances? I know it is a problem for many.