“The potential possibilities of any child are the most intriguing and stimulating in all creation.” —Ray L. Wilbur
Toys are not merely playthings. Toys form the building blocks for our child’s future. They teach our children about the world and about themselves. They send messages and communicate values. And thus, wise parents think about what foundation is being laid by the toys that are given to their kids.
Wise parents also think about the number of toys that children are given. While most toy rooms and bedrooms today are filled to the ceiling with toys, intentional parents learn to limit the number of toys that kids have to play with.
They understand that fewer toys and practicing a minimalist approach will actually benefit their children in the long-term:
1. Kids learn to be more creative. Too many toys prevent kids from fully developing their gift of imagination. Two German public health workers (Strick and Schubert) conducted an experiment in which they convinced a kindergarten classroom to remove all of their toys for three months. Although boredom set in during the initial stages of the experiment, the children soon began to use their basic surroundings to invent games and use imagination in their playing.
2. Kids develop longer attention spans. When too many toys are introduced into a child’s life, their attention span will begin to suffer. A child will rarely learn to fully appreciate the toy in front of them when there are countless options still remaining on the shelf behind them.
3. Kids establish better social skills. Children with fewer toys learn how to develop interpersonal relationships with other kids and adults. They learn the give and take of a good conversation. And studies have attributed childhood friendships to a greater chance of success academically and in social situations during adulthood. Better relationships as a child also tend to lead happier lives in adulthood.
4. Kids learn to take greater care of things. When kids have too many toys, they will naturally take less care of them. They will not learn to value them if there is always a replacement ready at hand. If you have a child who is constantly damaging their toys, just take a bunch away. He will quickly learn.
5. Kids develop a greater love for reading, writing, and art. Fewer toys allows your children to love books, music, coloring, and painting. And a love for art will help them better appreciate beauty, emotion, and communication in their world. It’ll also keep them away from getting used to an unhealthy amount of screen time.
6. Kids become more resourceful. In education, students aren’t just given the answer to a problem; they are given the tools to find the answer. In entertainment and play, the same principle can be applied. Fewer toys causes children to become resourceful by solving problems with only the materials at hand. And resourcefulness is a gift with unlimited potential.
7. Kids argue with each other less. This may seem counter-intuitive. Many parents believe that more toys will result in less fighting because there are more options available. However, the opposite is true far too often. Siblings argue about toys. And every time we introduce a new toy into the relationship, we give them another reason to establish their “territory” among the others. On the other hand, siblings with fewer toys are forced to share, collaborate, and work together.
8. Kids learn perseverance. Children who have too many toys give up too quickly. If they have a toy that they can’t figure out, it will quickly be discarded for the sake of a different, easier one. Kids with fewer toys learn perseverance, patience, and determination.
9. Kids become less selfish. Kids who get everything they want believe they can have everything they want. This attitude will quickly lead to an unhealthy (and unbecoming) lifestyle.
10. Kids experience more of nature. Children who do not have a basement full of toys are more apt to play outside and develop a deep appreciation for nature. They are also more likely to be involved in physical exercise which results in healthier and happier bodies.
11. Kids learn to find satisfaction outside of the toy store. True joy and contentment will never be found in the aisles of a toy store. Kids who have been raised to think the answer to their desires can be bought with money have believed the same lie as their parents. Instead, children need encouragement to live counter-cultural lives finding joy in things that truly last.
12. Kids live in a cleaner, tidier home. If you have children, you know that toy clutter can quickly take over an entire home. Fewer toys results in a less-cluttered, cleaner, healthier home.
I’m not anti-toy. I’m just pro-child. So do your child a favor today and limit their number of toys. (Just don’t tell them you got the idea from me.)
If you’re looking for a little extra help in this area, check out my book: Clutterfree with Kids and this article on our most creative decluttering tips.
Jenni @ Daily Luminary says
I think in addition to considering the number of toys, you have to consider the kind of toys available to your children. We don’t have liscenced character toys in our house. Blocks and books seem to be the big hits around here.
But yes, we, too, have too many toys. I have gotten rid of some, but I need to continue the purge. We are blessed with room for a playroom in the house, but unfortunately having the space makes it easy to accumulate.
We also have very generous friends and family. Out of all that my son has, I think I have only purchased one or two items. I have made it clear to everyone in our lives about how we feel about having stuff for the sake of having it. It has taken some time, but folks are really coming to terms with it and have really begun to respect our decisions.
My motto is: If I don’t love it, I don’t want it. I am trying to pass that on to my son.
Dahava says
I’m a dad to two kids. Best job in the world. I agree with everything in the post. I also know that kids need “toys,” be they homemade, store bought, or hell, even a favorite rock and stick. Whatever the toy, or more likely, toys, I’ve always believed that a kid will do a lot better in life if they learn to cherish the toy they have. I see kids that have elevety friggin’ million toys and could care less about any of them…they just want the newest, flashiest, whiz bang toy they see on TV. I have no proof, but I think this attitude manifests itself later with friends, mates, and life in general. Want, want, want…newer, shinier…they don’t learn how to cherish…my two cents folks. BTW, I’m a fan and read every post. My wife just started a blog at http://getsimplifized.com. Many of your posts spark conversations that lead to inspirations. Please, keep up the great work here…I always look forward to seeing a new post in my Google Reader account!
RLR says
This post is perfectly-timed for me! We have been working through Dave Ramsey’s ‘baby steps’ – and through that study (which we began about 2.5 years ago) I have also learned that our stuff has been controlling us. While it’s been slow going, I am committed to ridding our home of ‘stuff.’ The toy room is next on my list!
Rachel says
Couldn’t this just as well be about grown-ups? I’m trying to cut down on the number of my own toys. :-)
Much as I agree with this post, I think you basically just stated that kids are people!
Allison says
I have found these ideas to be true as well. My 3 are adopted and we have had them for almost 3 years. While with their birth parents, they had nothing and then while in foster care had a few things that they loved and played with all the time. Brining 3 into the house at the same time really didn’t financially allow us to over buy toys ect. We have carefully bought them toys and book that they really wanted. My 3 seem to be truely more appreciatative of the things that they do have now because they came from nothing in the past.
I am a teacher and see so many children that expect new and expensive things on an almost weekly basis from their parents who cannot afford these things but still buy them anyways. My husband and I only buys toys for the kids on b-days, Christmas, and Easter. During the year if there is something that they really want, they use their hard-earned allowance money to purchase it themselves. My lillte one, who is very frugal with his money, has decided not to buy an item that he wants as he would rather save his money for the future. I am impressed especially since he is only 7 years old.
We also don’t watch TV in the house. During the week, our time is spent eating dinner as a family, doing homework, practicing spelling words, completing chores and playing outside. My kids go outside pretty much everyday to play ball, ride their bikes or scooters or just run around the back yard. When they do paly in the house, they use their imaginations that many kids do not even have any more.
I have had many friends and relatives question the no TV policy in my house. My husband and I do not watch TV either. And my reply is that I want them to be active, use their imaginations and I don’t want them exposed to all that crap on Tv (both Tv shows and commercials). My kids don’t ask to watch tv and occasionally we will watch a G rated movie as a family and eat popcorn. Too many people and kids are wasting their lives sitting on the couch in front of a talking box. We are out there living life instead of wasting it.
Christine says
My parents instilled this in me as a kid. They taught me to appreciate the toys that I had and take good care of them. If I couldn’t do that, then I was taught to give them away so children who didn’t have toys could have something to play with.
I plan on teaching this to my children when my husband I decide to have them. It is so, so important and in the society that we live in today, I know it can be quite difficult!
Charley says
Thank you, am struggling with this already with the triplets. The Occupational therapist tells my wife that the children should have more interactive toys and she goes right out to buy them. I don’t really know how to quell that yet, but it will be something we have to talk about.
– Charley
Emil Lamprecht says
So in respect to this minimalist idea, how do you feel about the idea of Toy Rentals? Talk about something that eliminates a child’s need for attachment right? Rent a toy for a month and then send it back.
Linda says
FYI — some libraries have toys, grouped by age, available to check out, just as you would check out a book or dvd. Typically, these toys have some educational value and are not electronic. We’ve used them for trips to Grandma’s, were we can take something new and exciting with us.
Carrisa says
I love this! My five year old is completely spoiled and we are a big part of the problem! She’s well behaved (for the most part) but everytime we go to the store, she gets a toy. She has two bins of stuffed animals…huge bins, and she doesn’t appreciate them because she knows she’ll get another one soon. Same philosophy for all of her toys. We’ve created this, now we have to undo it. Thanks for the encouragement!! BTW, we are telling her it’s your idea ;0) lol
Carrie says
I am slowly realizing that less is more. Since I moved to a bigger house – I have actually downsized my positions. I can not believe the amount of toys I have “accumulated” over the years (mind you my oldest is not even 4!). I have donated probably close to 10 garbage bags of toys (I could probably stand to donate another 10 – baby steps). And you are TOTALLY right! They are only allowed one toy in there room – each girl has a dollhouse – and it is there favorite toy and it will entertain for hours. It is a hard concept – but you are right – less is more!
I love your blog! I look forward to the pieces of wisdom daily!