Thanksgiving is a beautiful holiday here in the US.
It’s a day for family and friends to gather, all centered around one big meal. Traditionally, the meal consists of turkey and potatoes, stuffing and green beans, and dessert like pumpkin or apple pie. But everyone celebrates a little bit differently.
It’s wonderful—my wife’s favorite meal of the year in fact.
The Thanksgiving Day preparation is an entire routine and ritual that, at times, can look a little hectic. At least it does in our home. There is a lot of work that goes into preparing the meal.
Often, both the women and men are scurrying about cooking and helping. As the kids get older, they might begin to help as well. Lots of cooks in the kitchen.
There are decisions to be made about what goes into the oven at just the right time, where to put things on the counter while they’re waiting, and if the table is getting set just right.
Plus, everyone is hungry the entire time because you’re saving space for the meal.
Everyone eventually sits down and the table is filled with dishes, like a full buffet.
In our family, we pray. And then, you eat.
Immediately, there’s a big rush of controlled chaos—people gathering food and filling their plates.
You grab your turkey and potatoes and stuffing and gravy. You start to wonder if the green beans are ever going to get passed your direction. You notice that the little kids are taking all the bread rolls and you might start to worry if there will be enough once the plate reaches you.
Where did the salt and pepper go? Did I get enough butter? And am I going to have room on this plate for the cranberries?
But eventually, you eat.
And there inevitably comes a point in the meal where you begin to feel full. You’ve eaten enough, and suddenly, you don’t need (or even want) any more food.
Instead, you lean back in your chair, content.
You’ve had enough.
Suddenly, everything changes. It doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing at the table.
It doesn’t matter that the little ones are taking the last of the rolls. It doesn’t matter where the butter is, or the salt and pepper. It doesn’t matter that your cousin is going back for a third helping of the stuffing, or that someone else just took the last of the dark meat.
None of that matters anymore. You’ve had enough.
Regardless of the options in front of you, regardless of what everyone else is chasing and consuming, you don’t feel the need to do so. It’s a wonderful feeling of contentment.
That is the promise of enough. Once you have attained it, you begin to see everything differently.
—
Consider how this feeling of enough might change our lives in other areas:
What if we realized that we already have enough physical possessions?
What would happen if we looked into our closets and fully noticed that we owned enough clothes? Or that our house was big enough? That we had enough decorations, furniture, tools, or cars?
What if we fully believed that we already have enough stuff?
Suddenly, we would begin to see everything around us differently. It wouldn’t matter what other people are chasing or accumulating or buying.
It wouldn’t matter that my neighbor is buying another car, I already have enough.
It wouldn’t matter that there’s a new sale at Kohl’s, I have enough.
It wouldn’t matter that today is Black Friday, I have enough.
It wouldn’t matter that Christmas is coming and someone else might get more gifts than me, I have enough.
And it wouldn’t matter that the magazines tell me my clothes are out of style or the newest tech gadget has more camera pixels than ever before, I have enough.
This is a realization that would change everything about us. We could fully remove ourselves from the consumerism that dominates so many peoples’ lives.
It would free up money, time, space, and energy for the things in life that really matter.
It’s an unbelievably freeing feeling to discover that you already have enough in your life.
—
There are, of course, many people in the world who do not have enough. But even those who do, rarely recognize it.
This is because we live in a world that shouts to us constantly that we don’t have enough. We are being sold more and more every day. They are constantly placing more dishes on the table, convincing us that we haven’t eaten enough yet, encouraging us to war against our neighbors to be the one with the fullest plate of food.
But as Maya Angelou once said, “We need much less than we think we need.”
And once we can look around and realize that we do indeed have enough, our lives begin to change in beautiful ways.
Joan Dalton says
When I told friends and family last year that rather than buying them something, I was going to give money to charities in their honor, they loved the idea. I am doing the same this year. No worries about purchasing the wrong gift, wrapping, and mailing. Checks in envelopes to charities or donating online brings happiness rather than stress.
I might add that rather than spending money and energy going out to sales, I am in a better mood spending time volunteering.
Diane S says
That’s so inspiring! Thanks for sharing. :)
Martha Gordin says
AMEN!! Not only do you have an excellent message to inspire but you write eloquently
Gail says
Well stated. Great article
Liz says
Thank you Joshua for your article. I’ve always been frugal as I was a single parent that raised two children without support from the father. Both my adult children work hard. My son is frugal like me and tells us not to buy any more toys for my 11 year old grandson. My daughter has an 18 year old daughter and 5 year old daughter and likes to have the latest items. She works two jobs to keep up with this lifestyle. My 5 year old granddaughter has so many toys and books. I feel it’s so wasteful to buy more toys and books for Christmas. Any suggestions?
Sherry Hoyt-Cline says
Does she have a college fund? Add to it or start one.
Anna Allen says
How about a voucher promising that the two of you will do a shared experience/activity together? A visit to the zoo, aquatic or trampoline park, a meal out, or swimming or ballet lessons for a term…..
Joanne Green says
Perfectly stated! Thank You for this important and Lovely reminder! Happy Holidays, Joanne Green
Celia says
I want to share our Thanksgiving tradition of twelve years. We had two young kids and a babe in arms. Baptism had been an event with out of town guests just a few weeks before. So we ordered a big takeout from our favorite Vietnamese restaurant the night before and asked them to package it for easy reheating on the next day. No places settings, no dress up, just us and our favorite food. Enough. And this is how it became our tradition: the kids went back to school and told their classmates what an awesome Thanksgiving we had. They asked the next year to do it again. (We’re happy to support a local family business, too.)
Today, Black Friday, I went to the not-crowded grocery store and bought a fresh turkey at the post-holiday price. It’s in the oven and we’ll have it with roasted veggies tonight. We’ll add a side each day over the weekend, and the kids will make a pie when they want it. No stress, no leftover fatigue, plenty to be thankful for.
My parents were inspired by this break from convention to do 2 hr. Thanksgiving. They grill a steak or ribs and eat it with some veggies, 2 hrs start to finished clean up. My mother hates to cook and I’m so proud of them for finding their own T-day Enough in their 70s. I hope I’m still that open to change at their age!
Diane S. says
Joshua this is so true. I’ve been watching TV commercials about Christmas gifts from jewelry to clothing to automobiles and of course toys, since before October 25, 2021 and am now tired of watching them. I actually mute the commercials.
We just give $25 to all the little ones (there’s quite a few) in the family and the grownups get a delivery of something for the entire family. Something like Florida oranges or NJ Ocean City Fudge, etc. So we don’t go to the malls and strip malls going crazy trying to buy the perfect toy or anything else. It is less stressful and this way the little ones can buy their own favorite toy with the money they collect. They make out like bandits because we’re not the only ones they get money from. Is a win/win. Thanks for the email, they’re always inspiring and helpful. ?
Ana Tampanna says
Joshua, How can I link this post to a facebook group post? We have just started a group and plan to grow a large network. This would fit in perfectly with our very first post.
The group is called A Smaller Footprint Action Team.
We would love to have you post from time to time. Especially NOW!
Jann E says
My 17 year old son just walked into the room where I was reading. He said, “OMG why aren’t you and Dad out Black Friday shopping?”
I replied, “I don’t need anything.” And I meant it. He looked at me in horror!
My husband and I have 11 kids, age 36 down to age 13. For as long as I can remember, the holidays have been an overwhelming mess for my head and pocketbook. Trying to gift to all 11 kids plus other family members with great gifts in even amounts of expense and even amounts of presents under the tree. I even wished the holidays were in April so I would have the whole winter to prepare for the gift giving. Until last year.
I decided that I would take my hoard of gorgeous yarns and knit each person a hat. With kids, grandies, inlaws and siblings, I gift for 29 each year. So I knit at my leisure from January through April. I knit not 29 but 30 lovely hats.
I found nice gift boxes (on sale) for the hats, too. I decided to add a vintage silver dollar, one for each family as an investment coin. Not really necessary but they are so beautiful, I thought it would be a nice gesture.
So here it is, Black Friday and all my gift giving is done and I can kick back and enjoy all the festivities that December has to offer without stressing about the gift giving. On January 1st, I will pick up my needles again for next Christmas.
Final note- One of the most outstanding reasons I have chosen to switch up the gift giving is this- My kids often way overspend at holidays. Some really, really over do it which is completely unnecessary. It also causes hurt feelings to the kids who cannot afford to purchase expensive gifts. I am trying to model the behavior that if a gift is to be given that it should be small and thoughtful rather than something they cannot afford.
Best wishes and Happy Holidays
Ali B says
This is absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing.
Julia says
Great article – Not only do most of us have enough already but we have too much. I would love a holiday (and maybe this Holiday season will be it) where the gifts given to me is getting rid of crap.
– someone can volunteer to work with my husband to throw out 4/5 of his hoarded office
– another person can come pick up the dumpy old boat & car that’s been sitting in the backyard for years
– another person can spend a girls afternoon with me and toss away things in linen closet and help me organize the few remaining items
– another person can research, find and cart me around to places that take donations.
I can go on forever with those types of great gifts…….
Happy Holidays everyone!
Julia
Nadine says
This is brilliant, I would love the gift these things/time, but know no one who’d want them ahahaha