martin buxbaum on success
you can use most any measure
when you’re speaking of success.
you can measure it in fancy home,
expensive car or dress.
but the measure of your real success
is one you cannot spend.
it’s the way your son describes you
when he’s talking to a friend.
martin buxbaum
“Purity and simplicity are the two wings with which man soars above the earth and all temporary nature.” – Thomas Kempis
simplicity brings balance, freedom, and joy. when we begin to live simply and experience these benefits, we begin to ask the next question, “where else in my life can i remove distraction and simply focus on the essential?”
based on our personal journey, our conversations, and our observations, here is a list of the 10 most important things to simplify in your life today to begin living a more balanced, joyful lifestyle:
- your possessions - too many material possessions complicate our lives to a greater degree than we ever give them credit. they drain our bank account, our energy, and our attention. they keep us from the ones we love and from living a life based on our values. if you will invest the time to remove nonessential possessions from your life, you will never regret it.
- your time commitments – most of us have filled our days full from beginning to end with time commitments: work, home, kid’s activities, community events, religious endeavors, hobbies… the list goes on. when possible, release yourself from the time commitments that are not in line with your greatest values.
- your goals – reduce the number of goals you are intentionally striving for in your life to one or two. by reducing the number of goals that you are striving to accomplish, you will improve your focus and your success rate. make a list of the things that you want to accomplish in your life and choose the two most important. when you finish one, add another from your list.
- your negative thoughts – most negative emotions are completely useless. resentment, bitterness, hate, and jealousy have never improved the quality of life for a single human being. take responsibility for your mind. forgive past hurts and replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
- your debt – if debt is holding you captive, reduce it. start today. do what you’ve got to do to get out from under its weight. find the help that you need. sacrifice luxury today to enjoy freedom tomorrow.
- your words – use less words. keep your speech plain and honest. mean what you say. avoid gossip.
- your artificial ingredients – avoid trans fats, refined grain (white bread), high-fructose corn syrup, and too much sodium. minimizing these ingredients will improve your energy level in the short-term and your health in the long-term. also, as much as possible, reduce your consumption of over-the-counter medicine – allow your body to heal itself naturally as opposed to building a dependency on substances.
- your screen time – focusing your attention on television, movies, video games, and technology affects your life more than you think. media rearranges your values. it begins to dominate your life. and it has a profound impact on your attitude and outlook. unfortunately, when you live in that world on a consistent basis, you don’t even notice how it is impacting you. the only way to fully appreciate its influence in your life is to turn them off.
- your connections to the world - relationships with others are good, but constant streams of distraction are bad. learn when to power off the blackberry, log off facebook, or not read a text. focus on the important, not the urgent. a steady flow of distractions from other people may make us feel important, needed, or wanted, but feeling important and accomplishing importance are completely different things.
- your multi-tasking - research indicates that multi-tasking increases stress and lowers productivity. while single-tasking is becoming a lost art, learn it. handle one task at a time. do it well. and when it is complete, move to the next.
related posts:
the triumph of self-worth over net-worth
“There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.” – Henry David Thoreau
net-worth – your assets minus your debts.
self-worth – the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect.
as humans, it is in our nature to compare ourselves to others. unfortunately, because we can only compare the things that we can objectively measure, we live in a world that is great at measuring and comparing externals. somewhere along the way, we decided that we could determine who is living a more valuable life by comparing their clothes, cars, homes, and paychecks.
simply put, we tied self-worth to net-worth. as a painful result, we began to make judgements about our own life value by the possessions that we own. but, in reality, our life is far more valuable than the things that we own. the wages that we earn provide for our life, but they do not define our life.
fortunately, when we change our thinking on this matter, we are freed to pursue a life worthy of esteem and respect that is not tied to our possessions. consider these 8 steps to improve your self-worth regardless of your net-worth.
- live a life of integrity and character. there is no greater feeling than laying your head on your pillow at night having no regrets in your dealings with others. consider the immeasurable value that comes from looking back over your entire life and seeing the same thing.
- cultivate worthy endeavors that are available in infinite supply. there is no limit to the amount of love you can show, the amount of hope you can spread, or the number of encouraging words you can speak. cultivate these things in liberal supply. they will cost you nothing, but will begin to mean everything.
- delight in your uniqueness. the fact that you are different from everybody else makes you valuable. be comfortable with yourself and proud of yourself. don’t suppress it or hide it. instead, do the opposite: champion your uniqueness.
- give away your most valuable resource. the most precious resource we own is our time. therefore, the most precious thing that we can ever give to another person is our time. make a habit of giving it away to others.
- live courageously. find the mental strength to accept new challenges without regards to the fear that may lie beneath. live with great expectations about what your life can become and accomplish.
- develop self-confidence. a confident person feels better about themselves, stands up taller, and smiles more. a confident person does not follow the crowd or try to become someone else. a confident person focuses on their achievements and anticipates their next opportunity in life with excitement.
- embrace your weaknesses. there are no perfect people in this world. we all have struggles and weaknesses. i have found that one of the best ways to identify with others is in our weakness. when we admit that we need help, we are finally ready to interact with others on a truly valuable level.
- make the most of every opportunity. each new day brings with it new opportunities. don’t waste a single one. do everything you do with quality and excellence.
your true self-worth is up to you. increase it. don’t allow your life’s pursuit to be caught up in the acquisition of material things – that makes for a nice net-worth, but not necessarily a high self-worth. and self-worth trumps net-worth any day.
chesterton on minimalism
There are two ways to get enough: One is to accumulate more and more, the other is to desire less. - G.K. Chesterton.
decluttering make-up
in case you are looking for a weekend decluttering project - how about minimalizing some of the old make-up that you no longer use (or rarely use)? perhaps, this article will give you the inspiration to finally remove some of the old products you may be holding on to just in case… what is the shelf life of make-up?
vicky’s story
here at becoming minimalist, we love sharing the stories of regular people choosing to live a minimalist life. today, we’re posting vicky’s story who shared it with us through our share your story page.
I am only seventeen years old but I am aware enough to see the negative affects that consumerism has on everyone right now. I have been reading blogs and I was inspired by this blog especially to make some changes. There are so many benefits for changing to a minimalist lifestyle and that is my goal. I am already a few steps ahead at my age; I don’t have that many things. My goal in the next few weeks are to donate clothes that I know I am not going to wear anymore and spend less. I feel happy when I leave my wallet at home. I am sick of the way everyone spends their money. We don’t need to constantly buy plasma tv’s or other luxury items. I look forward to reading more tips on your blog.
vicky, know that you are more than “a few steps ahead” – you are miles ahead of most people your age. and miles ahead of most people my age too.
No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar. ~Abraham Lincoln
a life of simplicity can be defined as a life that has removed all of the nonessentials. it is marked by oneness. it is uncomplicated. as a result, it is freeing. it allows our lives to be focused on the things that are most important to us.
simplicity in life cannot be achieved without honesty. honesty can live without simplicity, but simplicity cannot live without honesty. consider the fact that every time we are not truthful, we create an alternate reality. and subsequently, we are forced to live a life in both worlds: the true one and the one we’ve created. on the other hand, when we choose honesty in all aspects of life including our marriage, our business, and our relationships, we live the same life wherever we are. honesty leads to simplicity, but dishonesty leads to duplicity – the exact opposite.
consider the other benefits of a honest lifestyle:
- closer friendships – honesty and integrity pave the way for greater intimacy. your friends love the “true you,” not the one you’ve artificially created.
- higher quality friends – honesty attracts honesty. people who are trustworthy and honest attract trustworthy and honest friends. and those are the best friends to have.
- trust – honest people are trusted by others.
- confidence – honest people trust themselves. never underestimate the life-changing power of the ability to trust yourself.
- wellness – honesty has been linked to less colds, less fatigue, less depression, and less anxiety.
- less stress – dishonesty needs to be maintained. pretending to be something you are not requires constant attention to detail, even for the most experienced. honest people are better able to relax because they are just being themselves and naturally, feel better about themselves and less overwhelmed.
unfortunately, early in our life we learn that dishonesty can have incredible short-term benefits. it can get us out of trouble. it can get us what we want. it can make it easier to please the people around us. and all of us develop the habit (albeit, to varying degrees.).
living an honest life takes effort – especially at the beginning. it requires a decision to pursue it and some action steps to get it started. but once it begins to gain momentum in your life and you begin to realize its many benefits, honesty will become easier and easier.
to get started, consider some of these essential truths to living an honest life:
- character, integrity, and morality in your life make honesty easier. when you choose to live a life of character, you will soon realize that you have nothing to hide… and honesty is a much easier path if you don’t have anything to hide. there are countless aspects to this point that pertain to our spouses, our children, our bosses, and friends. pursue integrity in all of them.
- consider the long-term consequences of a short-term gain. as i mentioned, one of the reasons that we begin living dishonestly in the first place is that the short-term gains seem obvious. unfortunately, these short-term gains have long-term consequences. we would be wise to consider them and count the whole cost of our decisions.
- living an honest life on the outside requires you to live an honest life on the inside. if you are going to be completely honest with others, you’ve got to be completely honest with yourself. if we have hurts in our lives that we have been denying, we need to acknowledge them, admit them, and address them.
- sometimes, it’s the 2 and 3 letter words that can be the toughest. when the answer is yes, say “yes.” when the answer is no, say “no.” be dependable. follow through on your commitments. and don’t commit to anything that you don’t intend to complete.
- being honest is not the same as saying everything we think. just because something is true does not mean that it has to be said. one of the tougher points of living an honest life is knowing when to avoid conflict, when to address conflict, and when to create conflict. learn the difference. and learn from your mistakes on this one.
- use honesty to encourage, not criticize. honesty is a powerful tool and like most tools, it can be used for good or evil. it can be used to build others up or it can be used to tear others down. while the tone of your words plays a huge role in determining the difference, your motivation plays an even bigger role. use your words to genuinely build others up, not tear them down. the same truth spoken in a different way with a different motivation can have completely different results.
honesty is not just the best policy for simplicity, it is the only policy. true simplicity is unattainable without it. and that’s the truth.
currently, leo babauta is hosting our guest post at zen habits titled “the lost practice of resting one day each week.” check it out. it is a practice that our family has worked hard to incorporate into our lives and never regret. we are confident that your family would benefit from it too.
if you are visiting becoming minimalist from zenhabits, welcome.
we used to be a typical, suburban family of four living in vermont until a conversation with our neighbors two years ago turned us on to the simple lifestyle of minimalism. since then, we have encouraged hundreds of thousands of families around the world to give simplicity and minimalism a chance.
to get a flavor for the blog, be sure to check out some of our most popular posts:
- the unmistakable freedom of contentment and how to achieve it
- find a rational minimalism that works for you
- when you’re a minimalist but your partner isn’t
in february, we just released a new e-book: simplify. 7 guiding principles to help anyone declutter their home and life. the book lays out the 7 most important lessons that we have learned during our journey towards minimalism. it is a rational approach to minimalism designed to make the principles of simplicity attractive to the masses. it runs $9.95. and we think you’ll enjoy it.
to follow us a bit closer, we are on twitter.
and if you would like to contact us for comments, questions, or other requests, you can reach us here: becomingminimalist@gmail.com.
a matter of perspective
a father of a wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the intention of showing him how poor people live so his son would be grateful for the luxurious life he had been provided. they spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. on their return home, the father asked his son, “how was the trip?” “it was great, dad.” “did you see how poor people live?” the father asked. “oh, yeah,” said the son. “well, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?” asked the father.
the son answered: “we have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden, but they have a creek that has no end. we have imported lanterns in our garden, but they have countless stars at night. our patio reaches to the front yard, but they have the whole horizon. we have a small piece of land to live on, but they have fields that go beyond our sight. we have servants who serve us, but they serve others. we buy our food, but they grow theirs. we have walls around our property to protect us, but they have friends to protect them.”
the boy’s father was speechless. then his son added, “thanks, dad, for helping me to see how blessed others are so that i can better appreciate what few blessings we truly enjoy.”
c. s. lewis, the chronicles of narnia author, once wrote, “our desires are not too strong, but too weak. we are half-hearted creatures, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in the slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. we are far too easily pleased.”
we live lives that are too easily pleased. too often, we rely on possessions and money to satisfy our heart’s desires. advertisers have made a living out of convincing us that the secret to a fulfilled life is the possession of more stuff.
but while we are settling for the pleasure of material possessions, is it possible that we are missing out on something better? is it possible that we are missing things that would bring even more satisfaction and more pleasure to our lives? are our lives destined for something greater than material acquisitions? are we settling for something less than the very best?
since becoming minimalist and shifting my life’s focus away from possessions, i have begun to notice how much of my life was wasted chasing “stuff.” if i wasn’t working to earn the money to buy more things, i was researching my next purchase, reading advertisements, shopping at the store, or managing the possessions already in my home. i now consider all of it time wasted that i can never get back.
don’t settle for less than the best for the only life you get to live. consider these five steps to live a life that strives for the very best:
meditate more often – too many people haphazardly live their life. they become so involved in the day-to-day meanderings of life that they are no longer able to visualize anything different. but wise people withdraw from the mundane patterns of life to meditate. in this solitude, the propaganda of madison avenue can be better recognized, the values of our lives can be better assessed, and the course of our lives can be newly charted. withdraw. often.
love relationships. few things bring greater joy to the heart than honest, loving relationships with others. live a transparent life – there is just no sense wasting your time on this earth pretending to be something you are not. as the depth and width of your relationships grow, you will surely find that living life inside the four walls of your home managing all your stuff wasn’t really all that satisfying. at least, not compared to true relationships with others.
live a humble life. humble people realize that they don’t have all the answers. therefore, they ask questions. and when we ask questions, we find answers. notice the people around you and ask questions. do you have a co-worker or neighbor who always seems to be joyful, full of life? have they found something you may have missed? suppress your pride long enough to ask the simple question, “how come you are so satisfied with life?” you just may hear something you’ve missed all along
learn to appreciate the invisible. albert einstein said, “not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.” there are invisible things in this universe that will bring far greater joy and satisfaction to our lives than the trinkets on sale at your local department store. hope, peace, love… learn to appreciate the value of those things more and your trinkets less.
don’t be afraid to flip life upside-down. some of the most fulfilling moments in my life have been times when life has been flipped upside-down. rather than always rushing to get on top, to acquire more, or to impress others, take time to help someone else get on top. give time and energy to meet the needs of another person (rather than expecting everyone to meet yours). when we intentionally turn the tables and serve another human being, we begin to get a bigger picture of what our life could actually become and accomplish. and we start to see that it can be greater than simply acquiring and managing a storehouse of shiny things.
today, i wish you the very best.
