“Be happy with who you are and what you do, and you can do anything you want.” —Steve Maraboli
Looking back over the past few years, my life has been a crazy ride and something I never imagined. I started this website as a simple online journal, but today:
—Becoming Minimalist welcomes almost 1,000,000 visitors each month totaling 2,000,000 page views.
—Our Facebook page recently exceeded 500,000 followers.
—I’ve written three bestselling books (Simplify, Clutterfree with Kids, and The More of Less)—ranking as high as the #1 Self-Help book on Amazon and appearing on every major best-sellers list in the country except for the NYT.
—My wife and I started a nonprofit organization to change orphan care around the world. To date, The Hope Effect has raised over $250,000 for orphan care projects.
—And I’ve been privileged to speak internationally at various venues inviting others to find more life by owning less.
I include that list above for one reason: by almost every available measure, you could say it’s been a pretty successful past few years.
But here’s what’s weird. I don’t actually feel all that successful.
In fact, some days, I feel like I don’t even know what I’m doing. Other days, I’m evaluating my life wondering what I’m doing wrong, why things aren’t going even better, and wishing I was better at any number of different skills.
I look at other people and wonder why my growth hasn’t equaled theirs. I look at the long list of things I wish I could accomplish and wonder why I haven’t. Some days feel productive… but other days, I wonder if I’m too undisciplined or too undeveloped in the skills I need to move forward.
While things appear to be successful from the outside, I am often filled with doubt that they actually are.
But I’m starting to wonder, if maybe, this is just what success feels like.
I was texting with a friend one time—someone who probably looks up to me in both age and career. He kindly asked how things were going. My response went something like this, “Some days I feel productive. Other days, I feel distracted and undisciplined. As a result, I can never quite tell if I’m moving forward effectively or too inefficient to do so.”
And I’m starting to wonder, if maybe, I’m not alone. If so, maybe this is just what success feels like.
Maybe success feels more like challenge, than accomplishment. I look at people who make success look effortless. And to be honest, there are times when my work seems to flow naturally—entirely unforced. But most of the time, it doesn’t. Most of the time it is hard and calls me to question my skills and talents—always wishing I had more or different.
Maybe success feels more like discontent, than completion. Maybe success never feels like a finish line, or a goal that is ultimately crossed off a list. Maybe success, regardless of past accomplishments, always looks like it is off in the horizon on the other side of the next hill.
Maybe success feels more like giving thanks, than being thanked. I get emails of appreciation every day from readers. They are lovely and I find great encouragement in them. But I often feel their gratitude is misplaced as I consider all the men and women who built into my life to make all of this possible: parents, friends, my family, and fellow bloggers. They are the successful ones worthy of my gratitude.
Maybe success doesn’t always feel like it looks from the outside. (tweet that)
Take heart in this truth, regardless of your pursuit in life. Whether you are trying to be a successful writer, a successful farmer, a successful school teacher, or a successful mom, maybe success doesn’t always feel like success.
Maybe success just feels like this. And if so, maybe you are far more effective in your role than you ever imagined.
Kim Mast says
Josh, I know you will appreciate this word….
humble yourself under God’s mighty hand, and he will lift you up at the proper time. 1 Peter 5:6
I think when we don’t feel successful, it’s a sign that we know it’s all God’s thing, not ours.
Bette says
It’s only when I update my resume that I momentarily see I’ve succeeded in life. It’s the backward glance that forces me to realize, wow, I’ve actually met my goals and achieved what I set out to achieve. I never feel successful, yet to others, I’m at the pinnacle. It is reassuring to know I’m not alone in this, yet I wonder how we can come to appreciate our success more fully, on a daily basis.
Kris says
Maybe success is a journey, and not a destination. So maybe you (or anyone) will ever feel successful, at least while the journey is still in progress…
Ms. Montana says
I heard Rory Vaden say that “Success isn’t owned, it’s earned every day.” I think about that as a mom, wife, writer, platform builder serving my audience, friend, and daughter. Every day I need to show up in the areas that matter. I need to bring my best to the table. Success isn’t some finish line that I cross, but what I can offer my most important roles each day.
Candace Murray says
I think to have some type of mark to give one a sense of success, may be the key. It is strange, how often we purchase things to let us know in that moment, we are a success. We must find other markers to let us know we are a success, other than a boss or a corporation to tell you ‘Great Job’ have a raise.
What markers can we create, that we identify with, that shows/feels/defines success. I am sure it is different for different people. I currently work for a business, but I can imagine a sense of relief to know when you wake up to run your world, that in itself offers a marker of success. Some rambling thoughts.
Love it!
Lori Rosman, Buffalo NY says
I would love to advocate minimalism as you do and I do it among friends and family.
I take time every day to give thanks for the small things and when I’m in the gratitude place I feel successful.
Thank you Joshua for your dedication to The Minimalist. It’s been an inspiration and platform for me to make my case!
Marie Johnston says
I noticed the honest and humble qualities of your character throughout your writing. I so appreciated you putting your thoughts about what it feels like, like a yes and like a no. It was very encouraging to read it. Thanks!
Ree Klein says
I needed this. While I’m still struggling to find any form of success that others would even recognize as such, I am haunted daily wondering if I should stop trying so hard to build my own business and go back to a “real job.”
This post was so insightful; you’ve given me hope…and for that I’m so grateful!
Monica, Toronto, ON says
I found this post very thought provoking and helpful – thank you! Similar to many of the posts above, my thoughts are that for the majority, human nature is to want to improve all the time, so not only are we always our own biggest critic because we never improve/change as quickly or as much as we would like. It also seems to me that our goals morph and our own expectations change along the way so we are never really there! It does mean that there is never a dull moment, but it is also a reminder to me, that we all need to look at what we have accomplished, on a variety of levels, and be kind to ourselves. Slow down, enjoy the day, smell the roses (at least for a few minutes!).
JillAnnSarah says
You make an excellent point… that our goals change along the way. After all, I never thought that ‘becoming a minimalist’ would become a pursuit and goal for me; but it has become a driving force in my life in the past year!
Chris Carlock says
This is very refreshing. What I take from your thoughtful, honest post is that it is important for us to take a step back every once-in-a-while and take stock of our accomplishments. I know that I feel exactly the same feelings that you described. I guess that keeps me “hungry”, but I also need to be kind to myself and trust that I’m getting a little bit better as a human being every day.
Thanks for sharing!