“Be happy with who you are and what you do, and you can do anything you want.” —Steve Maraboli
Looking back over the past few years, my life has been a crazy ride and something I never imagined. I started this website as a simple online journal, but today:
—Becoming Minimalist welcomes almost 1,000,000 visitors each month totaling 2,000,000 page views.
—Our Facebook page recently exceeded 500,000 followers.
—I’ve written three bestselling books (Simplify, Clutterfree with Kids, and The More of Less)—ranking as high as the #1 Self-Help book on Amazon and appearing on every major best-sellers list in the country except for the NYT.
—My wife and I started a nonprofit organization to change orphan care around the world. To date, The Hope Effect has raised over $250,000 for orphan care projects.
—And I’ve been privileged to speak internationally at various venues inviting others to find more life by owning less.
I include that list above for one reason: by almost every available measure, you could say it’s been a pretty successful past few years.
But here’s what’s weird. I don’t actually feel all that successful.
In fact, some days, I feel like I don’t even know what I’m doing. Other days, I’m evaluating my life wondering what I’m doing wrong, why things aren’t going even better, and wishing I was better at any number of different skills.
I look at other people and wonder why my growth hasn’t equaled theirs. I look at the long list of things I wish I could accomplish and wonder why I haven’t. Some days feel productive… but other days, I wonder if I’m too undisciplined or too undeveloped in the skills I need to move forward.
While things appear to be successful from the outside, I am often filled with doubt that they actually are.
But I’m starting to wonder, if maybe, this is just what success feels like.
I was texting with a friend one time—someone who probably looks up to me in both age and career. He kindly asked how things were going. My response went something like this, “Some days I feel productive. Other days, I feel distracted and undisciplined. As a result, I can never quite tell if I’m moving forward effectively or too inefficient to do so.”
And I’m starting to wonder, if maybe, I’m not alone. If so, maybe this is just what success feels like.
Maybe success feels more like challenge, than accomplishment. I look at people who make success look effortless. And to be honest, there are times when my work seems to flow naturally—entirely unforced. But most of the time, it doesn’t. Most of the time it is hard and calls me to question my skills and talents—always wishing I had more or different.
Maybe success feels more like discontent, than completion. Maybe success never feels like a finish line, or a goal that is ultimately crossed off a list. Maybe success, regardless of past accomplishments, always looks like it is off in the horizon on the other side of the next hill.
Maybe success feels more like giving thanks, than being thanked. I get emails of appreciation every day from readers. They are lovely and I find great encouragement in them. But I often feel their gratitude is misplaced as I consider all the men and women who built into my life to make all of this possible: parents, friends, my family, and fellow bloggers. They are the successful ones worthy of my gratitude.
Maybe success doesn’t always feel like it looks from the outside. (tweet that)
Take heart in this truth, regardless of your pursuit in life. Whether you are trying to be a successful writer, a successful farmer, a successful school teacher, or a successful mom, maybe success doesn’t always feel like success.
Maybe success just feels like this. And if so, maybe you are far more effective in your role than you ever imagined.
Hanna says
Wonderful post! I think all of us can relate, even those of us like me who are nowhere near your level of professional success :-)
I live a pretty “small” life, and it’s so easy to feel like I’m not doing enough or not living up to expectations because I don’t have a high income, I haven’t published any great works, I haven’t established a huge network and friend circle, etc.
But then I’m occasionally struck by the realization that 10+ years ago, when I was in college/high school, this was the life I dreamed of: my own apartment, job at a non-profit, living in a city, a great partner. In 2016 I have everything that 2006 me desperately wanted, and yet I never feel “successful”. I guess we never truly do.
Chris Barker says
Maybe success is not chasing after success.
To me, to simplify life is to drop notions of success, at least of the traditional kind. To me success is growing food in my garden.
Michael says
Thank you for being honest! Thought King Solomon had something to say about it – It is all vanity, it is all meaningless, and there is nothing new under the sun. The key thing is success in itself does not satisfy. Our soul can only be satisfied by God.
ZinaVB says
The older I get the more convinced I am that each day is a new day when one lives it out in the Joy and Love of The Lord Jesus…… Our Worth and success rests in Him…. Just being a faithful follower…
Eve says
We wake up one morning at 70 and realize that life happened while we were busy making plans. I never planned most of the good things that happened in my life or anticipated the bad ones.
My nephew died at 35 from a heart attack. None of us saw that coming. We can try to plan out our life but don’t get to strict. Accept change of plans because you never know but life may have more to offer you than what you would have planned.
Linda says
If success felt like success, perhaps we would be a bit full of ourselves and lose our dependence upon God who enables all we do. Jabez asked that God would expand his territory for Him. Be careful what you ask for! :)
motivational speaker seattle says
I’m crazy about your glamorous words. I had read your Best-selling book “Simplify” and also can’t control myself to read “Clutterfree with Kids” and “The More of Less”. Eagerly waiting for your next surprise!
Please don’t kill us Becker :p
Julie says
Yes, yes, yes…. good words!
Renee says
This hit home today. This week I am overwhelmed with preparing for a Silent Auction for the basketball team, a customer based meeting with lunch for my husbands business, cooking a turkey for some elderly people, and trying to do assignments to finish my graduate degree, all while worrying about my son’s not so good grades in his first semester of college. Life can be so overwhelming at times and not simple at all. I’m not minimalist by any means in my house or list of activities. But I do strive to keep clutter away. Once I finish my graduate degree, I will have more time to donate items and get rid of stuff. In the meantime, I’m trying to stay afloat and make it through the holidays with cheer. I have lots and lots to be thankful for. Success can be tiring and overwhelming.
Curtis says
I read a number of times that those on their deathbed have more regrets about what they haven’t done rather than what they did do. That’s when I started a “cool things i’ve done list” just for me that only i will see, so I can remember I did the best I could and some of the things are pretty good for who I am.
Monica, Toronto, ON says
Nice! I like that idea.