Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Courtney Carver of Be More with Less.
“I have memories – but only a fool stores his past in the future.” – David Gerrold
As you simplify, you will notice that the most important stuff is left. This applies to kitchenware, toy boxes, closets and even to your sentimental treasures. Often times, the most difficult stuff to get rid of, is the stuff soaked in memories. We become attached to things that remind us of our past, and our loved ones. Your great grandfather’s pocket watch, your first pair of roller skates, or your son’s artwork from kindergarten, all transport you to another time, and usually fill you with lovely memories. Unfortunately, because you don’t want to clutter your home with stuff, these treasures are buried in boxes in the garage or attic, only to be rediscovered during a move, or a trip down memory lane.
I must admit, I am a sap and a sentimental fool. I get teary driving past a wedding, hearing stories about my grandparents or cooking one of my favorite dishes from childhood. In my life, I have saved notes from the 4th grade, albums from my first rock star crush, my daughter’s first bathing suit, heart shaped rocks from hiking with my husband and jackets my dad gave me that never fit, but were so cool, because they were his.
How do you get rid of the stuff that means so much, and evokes so much emotion, in the name of minimalism and simplicity? There are several ways to simplify the sentimental. Each concept includes focusing on what is most important and honoring your history.
Share the love. Unless you are on a mission to live with less than a certain number of things, why not display some of your sentimental items? Less does not mean none. Paring down your objects of memory does not necessarily mean ridding yourself of them all. Instead, paring down your sentimental items allows you to focus on the most meaningful. Chances are, the things with all the memories are in a box in the garage or attic. Sort through those boxes and choose the things that mean most to you and your family and display them. Sometimes we hold onto things to hold onto people that have left our lives. Honor the ones you love by sharing what was theirs.
After all, a box full of memories stashed in the basement is far less meaningful than 3-4 specific items displayed proudly in your home. So go through that box of mother’s things in the basement, select the 3 that most represented her life and the influence that she had, display them proudly, and remove the rest.
Make it useful. Did you save the china that your parents received on their wedding day or a special necklace that was passed down to you? Why not use it? Donate your everyday plates and eat off the dishes that mean so much. Wear the memorable piece of jewelry every day instead of waiting for a special occasion, or forgetting about it completely. You may come across things that you can’t use and don’t want to keep, but someone else will find your sentimental items to be quite useful. Use them or pass them on.
Put it in the cloud. If you have been saving printed photographs, documents, receipts and other paperwork for years, it might be time to digitize your docs. Sort through it all and toss the trash. Scan the rest or hire someone to do it for you, and organize in folders. From there, back it up through Dropbox.
Shoot your stuff. When you are uncluttering, save the things that mean the most to you, and take a picture before letting them go. Preserve the memories inspired by stuff through photography. Group items creatively or take pictures using the things. For instance, if you saved a baseball hat from your childhood little league team, take a picture of your child wearing it. Create a digital photo book with images and descriptive text, so you can enjoy your memories without the clutter. A book like this makes a beautiful gift to someone else in the family who wants to enjoy the memories without the clutter.
Tell your story. The most powerful thing we can offer is our story. As you simplify your life, you will come to the realization that the most sentimental things aren’t things at all, but stories of the people and places we love, and how we spend our time. Write about the things you love, instead of holding onto them. Start a family blog or keep a personal journal. Your words may start out describing your mother’s watch, but turn into a beautiful story about an afternoon the two of you spent together.
Approach each area or section of your life the same when it comes to letting go, and revel in what unfolds. Not only do you make room for the good stuff, but you can clearly identify what is most meaningful to you. Instead of filling boxes with the things that define your life, spend more time creating your life, giving to others and sharing your story with actions, thoughts and gratitude.
What other ideas do you have for shedding sentimental stuff?
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Courtney is a writer and fine art photographer. She writes about simplifying and living life on purpose at Be More with Less. You can also follow her on Twitter.
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I love the idea of “shooting your stuff” before getting rid of it. The items may be gone, but the memories are still there. Great list!
I do this with my sons artwork from school!
Courtney, this is the perfect post for so many of us “sentimental fools.” So many things I’ve read on this topic tell you to get rid of things but offer no ideas for ways to preserve the memories. These are great ideas!
Jean, Even though I don’t have as much sentimental stuff around, there is still plenty each day that brings happy tears to my eyes!
We all have memories, and what a lot of people don’t realize is that a lot of those memories we have are tied to or triggered by photos we have of those memories. So again, what better way to preserve a memory without keeping the item, is to photograph it. And especially now, since we don’t even have to have a physical ‘picture’ but a timeless digital memory!
I do not want to be remembered as the eccentric old woman who had a huge house floor to ceiling of ‘stuff’ she couldn’t part with! Not looking forward to cleaning out my MIL someday soon…
my latest post touches on this as well. http://bernicewood.wordpress.com/2010/09/28/pruning-away-to-be-more/
Bernice
This was a such a great piece of information! Thank you. My sensitive soul self all too often struggles with those sentimental items tugging at my heart.
Awesome post. I’m definitely a sentimental packrat, so I’ll be using these tips. I also have tons of old journals, but maybe I’ll type up some of the ratty ones.
McKella, You could always scan the pages of your journals instead of retyping.
Very nice! I think the hardest thing for me was realizing that giving away the things didn’t mean I’d lose the person, any more than I could keep them alive or bring them back by keeping the things.
I have a growing digital folder of photos of sentimental things I’ve got rid of. I agree with this tip completely. It helps me to hang on to the memory of it without the clutter of having it around. And it’s easy to email someone the photo and say “remember when…?” I did this recently to a friend who is working overseas when I scanned the pages of my highschool yearbook. We shared some laughs over the images from one side of the globe to the other.
Great article!
What great tips! This will definately help people clear some of the stuff from their lives and help with mind clutter.
I like the suggestion to make a digital photo book.
I used to feel like everything contains a memory so I had difficulties throwing things out (my garage can provide evidence for this). I remember that when I was young, I would say that no matter what I would never sell the house my family was living in because it had so many memories. But then things changed, we had to sell it to move to another one. I didn’t feel as bad as thing I would feel. You know why? Because my family moves to the new house too. When I realize that, I stop holding on to things but I do hold on to pictures. I like pictures better because they bring back memories faster and vividly. With stuffs, I have to think awhile before I remember the reason I kept them in the first place. So now I’m stacking albums instead of stuffs, hopefully this will keep my garage from cluttering any further.
Courtney, this was such a nice post about something that we all struggle with. Using http://AboutOne.com, a new online family management system, is a good way to accomplish your recommendations to “put it in the cloud”, “shoot your stuff”, and “tell your story”. Because AboutOne is cloud-based, you can access it at any time, from any location, with any web-enabled phone or device, to store, organize, and manage family memories and household information.With AboutOne, you can digitize and safely store photographs, documents, receipts and other paperwork, and there’s no need to run backups or fear data loss. Our digital scrapbooking feature also allows you to quickly and easily preserve family memories though pictures and stories, share them via the auto-created family newsletter or auto-created hardcover photo memory book. You can even shoot a picture with your smartphone and email directly into your AboutOne digital scrapbook!
Visit http://www.AboutOne.com for a free trial.
I’m at that point right now of my decluttering. I’ve gotten through the first level, which was the easy stuff to get rid of. Now I’m going to the “2nd level”, as I call it, of the sentimental/emotional stuff. Mostly it’s my kids things. Pics, toys, books, first tooth, ect. Really bothers me I can’t let go yet. Maybe because they haven’t been out of the house long enough? I also have their things that they have had as they’ve been older, yearbooks and memorabilia, stuff they need to deal with. I really want to deal with these items so I can move on, because as of now I feel very stuck.
Pat, Perhaps you should ask your children to go through it and see if there is anything they want. They can take what is important to them and let the rest go. There may be a few things you want to hold on to for now, but if letting go will get you unstuck…it might be time.
When my grandmother passed away a few years ago, the only thing I wanted was her aprons. I now have a couple, and every time I use them, I think of her.
I really enjoyed this post. It struck a nerve with me. My husband and I are in the process of downsizing and we have been working on packing and purging. Purging is not so easy for me as I basically have a sentimental attachment to most of the things we have. We recently started our own blog to journal this new phase in our lives and as I was posting today, I realized that certain items evoke stronger emotions and the essence of the person that gave me the item. Those are the items I keep.
I definitly will implement many of your ideas, especially that of tell your story. It actually is the moment that I cherish and not the thing. Thank you so much!
This is so timely for me!! We moved 6 months ago and so I had the mentally arduous yet profitable task of going through my “stuff.” I am _definitely_ a sentimental keeper but I did discover one thing…I had some stuff that my dad brought over to me a few years ago when he moved. I loved seeing it again and then stuck it in the garage. When it was our turn to move I had another opportunity to see it again and realized something…I wish my dad had tossed it. I would never have missed it and yet having it again it is really hard to toss it. With this post I now know I can go get that box out, pick out one or maybe 2 must haves, photograph anything else and toss!! Yay!! Not stuff _and_ no guilt!!
This also taught me to reaaaallllly consider what I keep for my kids. Stuff is like an anchor and I do _not_ want to accumulate an enormous anchor for my children to have to deal with later in their lives. I see my sentimental tendencies in my 12 yo son and it kinda scares me!! I think I’ve gotten through better to my 16yo daughter as she was able to really purge during our move.
Sorry to go on!! I sure do thank you for sharing these thoughts and tips!!!
fantastic article, I was just asking Sara Rauch at Lifemorelived.com how I would be able to convince my wife to start to pare down some of the sentimental stuff. She suggested this article. I think it is great I loved the idea of taking a picture of your old little league hat on you child. What a great way to preserve a memory and create a new one at the same time. For now I am just doing as Sara suggested and trying to lead by example with minimalism. Hopefully soon my wife will come a little further down the path with me.
Such a great article and this holiday season is a perfect time to make capturing memories a priority over collecting things.
OMG are you sure you are not me. I am so planning on have LESS in my life. I have so much stuff but do Ireally need all the clutter. Bookmarking this so I can refer back to it
What inspiration.
What wisdom.
Thanks for assisting me in realizing beautiful and healthy methods of dealing with “not letting go”.
So humanistic.
Bless you.]
David
I love these great tips. I am an emotional pack rat when it comes to sentimental items. The thought of getting rid of these things can put me in tears. I LOVE the idea of taking pics of these precious things and saving them forever. It’s brilliant! Saving pictures and the memories that go with them in beautiful storybooks you make yourself is already a passion of mine. (www.mystorybookimages.com) Why this never occurred to me seems crazy. Thanks for helping me see the light.
in truth, life militates against sentimentality and ambition.
d
Wow! Blog about it! I love that idea!! Def going to do that! Thanks!
What an incredible post.
Thanks.
Hi,
I read this article. It is already a chore to edit my paper photos let alone take more photos of the sentimental items! Really struggling with how to prioritize the sentimental items — thanks for the tips. I can use more!!!!
Wow! thank you – amazing article which Amanda Wiss of Urban Clarity suggested I read! All so pertinent – and I kNOW my adult children do not want to have to go through all the stuff my sentimental mom left me to worry over! Digitize! Yes! and write stories? many thanks – so helpful! and thanks Amanda – I’ll try harder!!
I often feel like I am the repository of the family, and I don’t want to be that anymore. My grandmother willed some (hideous — HIDEOUS) china to my sister, who does not want to use it. My mother couldn’t store it, so I consented to. It has moved with me through several cities, and now I would like to get rid of it. My mother forbids me to sell or give it away: “that was your grandmother’s china, and she willed it to your sister, it’s not yours to throw away, etc.” Sister, mother and cousins do not want to use it. Multiply that by a number of other items besides the china, and that’s the situation I feel that I”m in. No one in my family wants to use it, and no one wants to push the consent button on getting rid of it. How do I convince the rest of my family to LET GO of sentimental items that they openly admit they DON’T want to USE or STORE themselves?
It is going to be really hard to change being the “repository” because people have become accustomed to it, but it can be done! Really, no one can forbid you to get rid of something that they aren’t willing to take but it depends on how much drama you can put up with should you choose not to store it. For me, it would be worth people being a little upset to not store a whole bunch of dishes that no one wants.
I would probably send an email to your sister telling her that you are out of storage space, so she will either need to take her china back or you will be passing it on. If she is not willing to take it, then I would ask your mom if she wants to store it and be clear that you will not be able to store it anymore and that you really think someone, even if it isn’t a family member, should be enjoying the china rather than have it sit around for all eternity. That way, everyone will have a choice, and you have given them ample opportunity.
I will try that again. I have now gotten rid of a great deal of my things and I find that most of the items in my garage are not mine, and no one in my family wants to throw away. Folks will have 1 more chance to pick up items and then I will have a yard sale. It will be nice to be able to park my car in the garage again.
It wasn’t willed to you, so they are just using you as storage for it. I would give it back to them. What would happen if you called their bluff and said you already donated it?
I hope it all works out and you become free of it!
This is an easy one….call sister and mother, say this china is leaving my house now. You can either come get it or it can go to Goodwill….you have until x.
For those who like quilting – those special clothes can be incorporated into a quilt, either a patterned one using the materials or a memorial one specific to the person or family. When my dad died I made a small quilted wall hanging using materials from a favourite shirt, dressing gown and swimmers. I incorporated details from his life and attached buttons from his uniform that he used to wear. It is useful to then write a little note and put it in a pocket attached to the back so that others can know the full story and meaning of all the parts.
I made a tshirt quilt for my niece of all of her tshirts as a kid. It turned out great! She took it to college with her.
Thanks for this! I just moved and am moving again and have gone through round 1 of deciding how to handle an abundance of sentimental memories. I have to say that round 1 was completely exhausting! Round 2 is coming up. For example, I had over 90 Waterford crystal goblets that I had inherited from my mother. Yes–over 90! Try packing and moving that. Nobody I know needs 90+ goblets unless you are entertaining the president, or some such. I decided to keep a set of 8, designated another small set for my daughter, then will be using those “highball” glasses for every day needs, like juice and milk. I sold 2 big sets on eBay, and I’m giving away another set to a friend. I think guilt has held me back until now. But my daughter reminded me that we weren’t disrespecting my mother to get rid of some of these. It feels so much better now and I hope to never have to pack and move 90+ crystal goblets ever again!
I have been hanging onto stuff for years, but was forced into decluttering because I am potentially moving into a much smaller space overseas. I donated some very sentimental stuff, and it was difficult for me because some of the stuff was with me since childhood and it was like I was erasing a part of me and I had also gone through some other personal losses right at the same time I donated the items. It’s amazing what emotion can be evoked and triggered from an inanimate object.
The “Shoot your stuff” really will help me. I have a pretty big collection of Hard Rock T-Shirts, which I started 15 years ago. I have like 30 shirts and over the years, they just don’t get better. Now with this hint, I set a reminder in my calender, and will take pictures of all of them, when I have days off in the next week.
This hint is really good. I was thinking of doing a quilt out of them, but I am not the quilt typ. Taking pictures is way better. I think I will make a collage and then have it as a book.
Thank you so much!
I, too, am happy that I found this, but how do I know the stuff I throw out isn’t worth money as a vintage item? I have sooo much stuff, I get overwhelmed when I get started, and then don’t know what to do with it, then I stop, and then, the cycle starts over again!!
Great article and good ideas. I had this photo idea suggested some years ago when I was agonizing over keeping my mom’s large trunk that she got when she left for college. I had it for so long, but it was just TOO BIG and not practical for storage because it smelled of mothballs. I took several photos of it and gave it away to a friend who refurbishes old trunks. I haven’t really missed it – any time I want to, I can pull up the many happy memories associated with it, and removing it gave me the space to have a little art center. It’s always hard for me to give up sentimental items – the hardest part of decluttering. Writing about the memories is a good way to share and reinforce them.
Great tips – thanks! Another thing we found that was helpful when my mom died and Dad moved to assisted living was to pick out some charities that we supported and donate a lot of stuff to them: furniture to the program that helped international college students furnish their apartments, clothes to the battered women’s shelter, office supplies to the school I work at, and so on. It made it much easier for Dad to give things away, to know they were going to a good home where they’d be useful and appreciated. I’m still struggling with some of the sentimental stuff, but Mom’s only been gone two years, so I’m willing to go slow for Dad’s sake.
Another thing I’ve done over the years (for me and for customers) is to turn a piece of unwearable sentimental jewlery into something that can be worn: a pair of clip earrings into pierced, a stone off a cheap childhood ring into a pendant, a broken bracelet into a refurbished one, some old brooches into wall art. So fun to help people make an old memory into a new one!
Hi
What you have mentioned is so very true. Its very tough getting rid of things to which one has a sentimental attachment.
There are times when I am in a cleaning spree when I would selectively retain things and dispose the rest. I just make best use of that :D
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