“The potential possibilities of any child are the most intriguing and stimulating in all creation.” —Ray L. Wilbur
Toys are not merely playthings. Toys form the building blocks for our child’s future. They teach our children about the world and about themselves. They send messages and communicate values. And thus, wise parents think about what foundation is being laid by the toys that are given to their kids.
Wise parents also think about the number of toys that children are given. While most toy rooms and bedrooms today are filled to the ceiling with toys, intentional parents learn to limit the number of toys that kids have to play with.
They understand that fewer toys and practicing a minimalist approach will actually benefit their children in the long-term:
1. Kids learn to be more creative. Too many toys prevent kids from fully developing their gift of imagination. Two German public health workers (Strick and Schubert) conducted an experiment in which they convinced a kindergarten classroom to remove all of their toys for three months. Although boredom set in during the initial stages of the experiment, the children soon began to use their basic surroundings to invent games and use imagination in their playing.
2. Kids develop longer attention spans. When too many toys are introduced into a child’s life, their attention span will begin to suffer. A child will rarely learn to fully appreciate the toy in front of them when there are countless options still remaining on the shelf behind them.
3. Kids establish better social skills. Children with fewer toys learn how to develop interpersonal relationships with other kids and adults. They learn the give and take of a good conversation. And studies have attributed childhood friendships to a greater chance of success academically and in social situations during adulthood. Better relationships as a child also tend to lead happier lives in adulthood.
4. Kids learn to take greater care of things. When kids have too many toys, they will naturally take less care of them. They will not learn to value them if there is always a replacement ready at hand. If you have a child who is constantly damaging their toys, just take a bunch away. He will quickly learn.
5. Kids develop a greater love for reading, writing, and art. Fewer toys allows your children to love books, music, coloring, and painting. And a love for art will help them better appreciate beauty, emotion, and communication in their world. It’ll also keep them away from getting used to an unhealthy amount of screen time.
6. Kids become more resourceful. In education, students aren’t just given the answer to a problem; they are given the tools to find the answer. In entertainment and play, the same principle can be applied. Fewer toys causes children to become resourceful by solving problems with only the materials at hand. And resourcefulness is a gift with unlimited potential.
7. Kids argue with each other less. This may seem counter-intuitive. Many parents believe that more toys will result in less fighting because there are more options available. However, the opposite is true far too often. Siblings argue about toys. And every time we introduce a new toy into the relationship, we give them another reason to establish their “territory” among the others. On the other hand, siblings with fewer toys are forced to share, collaborate, and work together.
8. Kids learn perseverance. Children who have too many toys give up too quickly. If they have a toy that they can’t figure out, it will quickly be discarded for the sake of a different, easier one. Kids with fewer toys learn perseverance, patience, and determination.
9. Kids become less selfish. Kids who get everything they want believe they can have everything they want. This attitude will quickly lead to an unhealthy (and unbecoming) lifestyle.
10. Kids experience more of nature. Children who do not have a basement full of toys are more apt to play outside and develop a deep appreciation for nature. They are also more likely to be involved in physical exercise which results in healthier and happier bodies.
11. Kids learn to find satisfaction outside of the toy store. True joy and contentment will never be found in the aisles of a toy store. Kids who have been raised to think the answer to their desires can be bought with money have believed the same lie as their parents. Instead, children need encouragement to live counter-cultural lives finding joy in things that truly last.
12. Kids live in a cleaner, tidier home. If you have children, you know that toy clutter can quickly take over an entire home. Fewer toys results in a less-cluttered, cleaner, healthier home.
I’m not anti-toy. I’m just pro-child. So do your child a favor today and limit their number of toys. (Just don’t tell them you got the idea from me.)
If you’re looking for a little extra help in this area, check out my book: Clutterfree with Kids and this article on our most creative decluttering tips.
Jennifer says
Agreed. Completely. We told the grandparents-to-be not so many toys. That we wanted to stick with hand-me-down stuffed animals(because some days those were my best friends) and minimal toys. ..Now our son has a huge cardboard box filled with toys from grandparents, great aunts… light-up musical plane(which he loved for like a week, now he pretty much ignores it), a rocking pony, a ride-on car.. And now that he’s pulling himself to stand, he plays with one *maybe* for a few seconds, but would rather explore his environment. And you’d think, with all those toys, he’d have unending boredom. But I’ve noticed whenever I drop the toys and take him outside, assuming he doesn’t want to nurse, or go to bed, or is too hot. ZERO boredom. No fussing. Crawls around in the grass, picks up a stick, watches the wind blow through the trees..bangs two pine cones together, whacks a stick against the grass, plays with the grass. No fussing. Meanwhile, he sits in the middle of the living room floor, filled with toys, looks up and cries at me because he’s bored. I found this article wondering if there were ANY sites up about minimalist baby toys. Good to know there are!!
liz says
Love this.
Tabby says
You’re so right about that! I had few toys growing up — and I so loved most of them that I kept them well into adulthood! I had this stuffed bear that looked like the Snuggle bear from the Downy commercials that had a cherished place in my home until the poo thing just disintegrated. I was 22 when Snuggle finally ‘died’. And yes, I’m not ashamed to admit I slept with it on my pillow. I also had this blanket that had been made for me as a baby that stayed with me until it got destroyed in a flood in my first apartment, and I still kind of hate that it’s gone. My grandma’s hands made that thing. It was pink. It had animals on it. It was… actually kinda ugly, and I never liked pink, but that blanket was acceptable. My brother and I were inventive — we’d play this game called ‘The Flip-Crash.’ We’d attempt to flip across the two beds in my room I shared with my mother, and I believe we never actually made it without crashing into each other and the floor. But it was hilarious to try. Hide and seek? Oh, boy, that called for scaling the linen closet with a six foot drop from the top shelf to the floor. Often, when I needed time to myself, I’d climb up there. I was, like, 7 or 8 and making this climb. We had books, and always nagged mom to go to the library. The neighborhood ones — and still to this day, we have the same librarians we did then, and I look at them as cherished aunts. They even know my childhood nickname. My best memories of childhood had nothing to do with toys and everything to do with the things we went out and did together: taste tests of various chicken nuggets, when we had this street that had many fast-food joints that sold them. Since we had little money, we could only get one package from each place. But man, the memories that created. We can still go, “Remember when we did that?” “Oh, yeah, that was awesome.” Museums, Navy Pier…. so much awesome, considering the neighborhood we lived in was very dangerous. I learned a lot about life that way.
When I look at parents who can’t conceive of how to raise their kids without all this stuff, I pity the kids. Those poor kids have no idea how to survive real life.
Granted, I <3 my electronic toys,and would be loathe to give them up, but I /can/ do it. It's just stuff. In the end, life isn't the stuff you have but the memories you can make.
Kara says
How about you give them a few Tupperware boxes of toys and tell them to keep them at their houe? When we get too many toys I offer them to my parents. Half the time my mom adds them to her collection( she has 6 grand kids and growing) the other half we give to friends or the womens shelter. Ds is almost three and I am working on teaching him that we should give. He keeps his room up with gentle reminders. The nly thing that happens is when we have playdates and other kids “dump” and ” dump” the bins. But even then 15 mins and it’s back in order. We continually evaluate the toys. I alway go through them with him as there are some toys he is adamant about and I may not realize it. We usually get a shopping bag and fill it and talk about how we are going to bless some one else. We do this with books too. Usually I wind up with a small pile to toss when I come across something broken too.
Sean says
Interesting post. Can you provide sources for the studies referenced?
Afnan says
Interesting! My boy is only 17 months and he has a lot of toys already. But what I keep doing every now and then, is keeping most of the toys hidden in a locked room and bring one of them once in a while & hide another. Sometimes it happens that they all get together and then I realise the mess and distraction I cause him! So whats better than hiding. Again & again…. Even when we buy new ones. The cycle is everlasting ;-) I assume this is the best thing to do to our kids by keeping it ( less is more ). I have noticed how he gets busy and focused with one toy when fewer are present, comparing to uncaring behaviour when loads are all over the place!!!
Afnan
Suki says
Thank you for this article!
I was at my wits end read this and it gave me the impetus to Freecycle all the unused toys that my daughter has.
Estefanía says
I read this post over a year ago and over the following months, I proceeded to donate 95 percent of my two girls toys. There have been fewer fights between them and more imaginative play. Also my stress level went down next to a cleaner house.
“Do you rather people to give you toys or to play with you”. I asked my 4 year old a few weeks ago: “To play with me”. I think I am doing a good job inspired by your post. Thank you for it!
Bonnie says
Wow, I don’t even have kids and I love this!
Louise says
Hi! I believe less is more with toys. An imagination has a chance to really develop when kids have to create their own play things.
Here is what my kids are getting this holidays:
http://ichoosehappynow.com/2011/12/01/cup-of-joy/the-count-down-for-christmas-now-has-begun-and-a-childs-perfect-christmas-gifts/
Thanks for the post.
Cheers,
Louise