“Do not judge from mere appearances.” —Edwin Hubbel Chapin
For too long our world has measured success incorrectly. We have championed, promoted, and followed some wrong people along the way. We’ve judged others on the symmetry of their cheek bones, salary package, neighborhood of residence, eloquence of speech, designer of clothing, or model of car. We’ve been focused on the wrong things. And have made some terribly awful judgments along the way—both personally and collectively.
Might I take a moment and recommend some new measurements? Some new measurements that are not external in nature, but are internal—measurements that weigh the very heart and soul of humanity. And begin to give us a far better sense of who to trust, who to follow, and who to champion.
20 New Ways to Measure Success.
1. Character in solitude. Our character is best revealed not in the the public eye, but in private. What we do when nobody is looking is the truest mark of our character. And those who display character in the dark will always reflect it in the light.
2. Contentment in circumstance. Often times, contentment remains elusive for both the rich and the poor. It is a struggle for humanity no matter their lot in life. Rich is the man or woman who can find contentment in either circumstance.
3. Courage during adversity. Courage can only be revealed when it is required. And only those who have displayed it and acted upon it during adversity can lay claim to its possession. This adversity can take on many different forms, but courage will always look the same: action in the face of fear.
4. Faithfulness in commitment. Those whose words are true ought to be highly lifted up in our world today. Whether our word is given with a handshake, a contract, or a wedding ring, those who hold true to their oaths are worthy of commendation.
5. Generosity in abundance. To those who have received much, much should be given away. Often times, this abundance comes in forms other than material possessions. And in that way, we each have been given much—and each ought to be generous in our use of it.
6. Graciousness towards others. Those who routinely extend grace to others are among my greatest heroes. They have a healthy realization that this world is largely unfair, that people come from a variety of backgrounds, and that nobody is truly self-made… even themselves. As a result, they are quick to extend grace and mercy to others.
7. Gratitude despite circumstance. Those who can find enough good in any circumstance to express gratitude are typically focused on the right things. And those who are focused on the right things tend to bend their lives towards those things… and draw others along with them.
8. Honesty in deprivation. It is when we are deprived of something desired that honesty is the most difficult. Whether we are deprived of something physical or intangible (like a desired outcome), dishonesty is often used to quickly take gain of something. Those who show honesty during deprivation reveal how highly they esteem it.
9. Hope during heartache. When heartache cuts at such a deep level that simple optimism is not enough… only hope can emerge. When it does, it is undeniably from a source far greater than ourselves. And those who find it, discover one of the greatest powers in the universe.
10. Humility in accomplishment. Those who are quick to deflect praise in accomplishment ought to be first in receiving it.
11. Inspiration in relationship. We are all in relationship with others – sometimes in person, sometimes in print, sometimes in other ways. These relationships should not be used solely for personal gain but for bringing out the best in others. And those who inspire others to become the best they can be should be gifted with more and more and more relationships.
12. Integrity in the details. Integrity is found in the details. Those who show integrity in the little things of life will typically display it in the bigger things as well.
13. Kindness to the weak. It is usually the weakest among us that are in most need of our kindness… and yet they receive it the least because they have no way to immediately repay it. When kindness is only shown for the sake of repayment, it becomes an investment and is no longer true kindness. Our true measure of kindness is shown in how we treat those who will never repay us.
14. Love for enemies. Anybody can love a friend. Anybody can love those who treat us well… and everybody does. But it takes a special type of person to extend love towards those who treat us unjustly.
15. Optimism towards others. See the good in everyone. There is simply no way to bring out the best in others if you haven’t seen it first.
16. Perseverance in failure. Failure reveals much about our heart. It reveals our character, our humility, and our perseverance. We will all at some point face failure. And those who get back up and try again ought to be esteemed in our mind.
17. Purity in opportunity. While character is revealed in solitude and integrity is revealed in the details, purity is revealed in the face of opportunity. When dishonest gain (money, power, sex, etc.) presents itself, those who choose purity ought to be praised. Not only do they personally sleep better at night, but they make this world a better place for all of us.
18.Respect for authority. Authority brings order to a world of disorder. Certainly there are numerous examples throughout history (and today) of proper timing in overthrowing authority that oppresses its subjects. But in most cases, authority brings reason and order… and it should be allowed to do so.
19. Responsibility for mistake. From the weakest to the strongest, we all love to pass the blame. I can see it in my 5-year old daughter and I can see it in my government leaders. We are a people that are slow to accept responsibility for our mistakes. This is unfortunate. Because only those who can admit their mistakes have the opportunity to learn from them.
20. Self-control in addiction. We are a people that too often give control of our most precious asset to another. We fall under the influence of substances, possessions, or entertainment. When we do, our life is no longer our own. And those who retain self-control in the face of addiction ought to be recognized as unique and judged accordingly.
And when we all begin to properly esteem, champion, and follow those who lead from the inside, we will make far less mistakes in choosing who to follow.
Samantha says
I recently forgave those who had abused me when I was younger. It was something I had tried many times to do before -and failed to do. But finally I feel a sense of freedom now I have finally forgiven
Kirbert says
As soon as I got the gist of the message, I started looking for the one I’ve been championing for years. Sure enough, it’s there at #8. I don’t word it quite the same way, but I have been flabbergasted many times by people who claim they are honest except where there’s money involved, then all bets are off. The cashier accidentally gives you a nickle too much change? Well, you’ll give that back — but what if it’s five bucks? Just exactly how big an error must be in your favor before you decide to just keep it? THERE’S where you separate the honest people from the crowd. Being honest when it costs you nothing doesn’t count; it’s when it hits you in the wallet that your character is revealed.
Omotola Gbolahan says
Amazing thought- provoking post you got there.
Challenges all the philosophies of our phony civilization while still managing to instill a lot of faith based teaching without sounding Pharisaical.
Confidently woven, expertly written a masterclass.
PS: was wondering if you might turn this into an eBook laden with graphics and pictures to be available as a download on this site. This is the best I’ve read online by a mile in years. (I’m a web Junkie!)
Kate says
This wonderful list looks familiar. See : http://www.fisheaters.com/lists.html
Cindy says
Love this. Except…number two…lovely to be content but it just doesn’t seem right to judge someone on it.
Cathy says
Great post! I do, however, think #20, requires further clarification. Addiction to many substances, i.e. alcohol, drugs, is a disease. Judging someone who is battling a disease, however misunderstood this disease may be, is perhaps the most judgmental and least compassionate thing of all.
Mark in VT says
Joshua,
Something we do( besides discerning needs
From wants,) it’s zero out the checkbook if it’s got 10 15 dollars, knowing your direct deposit Is the next day. To make this Short, in a year or
Less it’s very easy to have 7 or 800 extra in your checking. it works, and you don’t miss it. The Checking account has not been low enough to zero out. I’m sure you have thought of this but just thought I would share
Mark
Mark in VT says
This is a great list. But I imagine even it’s
author cant profess perfection in all these areas.
I do believe they are Christian but also common sense ideas. Ideas put into action, become reality however. I’ve met you a couple of times but I really never was able to chat. I am returning to Jesus, and found this by accident (almost). I don’t agree with everything you say,
but thus is very good.
Torrey says
First of all, amen! The qualities expressed here are not just metrics for “judging” others, but for judging ourselves. Well put.
My only gripe with this post is that these are not “new” ways to judge people. I have inserted Bible passages that speak to these qualities so that we might “give credit to whom credit is due.” There are a plethora of other verses that could have been inserted, but only a few were chosen. I hope none will deny themselves the riches of God’s Word where true wisdom is found.
_______
Do not judge from mere appearances…” – Edwin Hubbel Chapin
“Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment” – Jesus Christ (Jn. 7:24)
For too long our world has made judgments about others on faulty criteria. As a result, we’ve championed, promoted, and followed some wrong people along the way. We’ve judged others on the color of their skin, symmetry of their cheek bones, salary package, neighborhood of residence, eloquence of speech, designer of clothing, or model of car. We’ve been focused on the wrong things. And have made some terribly awful judgments along the way – both personally and collectively.
Might I take a moment and recommend some new measurements? Some new measurements that are not external in nature, but are internal… measurements that weigh the very heart and soul of humanity. And begin to give us a far better sense of who to trust, who to follow, and who to champion.
20 New Ways to Judge Others.
1. Character in solitude. Our character is best revealed not in the the public eye, but in private. What we do when nobody is looking is the truest mark of our character. And those who display character in the dark will always reflect it in the light.
Matt. 6:4 That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.
Matt. 6:6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
Matt. 6:18 That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.
2. Contentment in circumstance. Often times, contentment remains elusive for both the rich and the poor. It is a struggle for humanity no matter their lot in life. Rich is the man or woman who can find contentment in either circumstance.
Phil. 4:11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
3. Courage during adversity. Courage can only be revealed when it is required. And only those who have displayed it and acted upon it during adversity can lay claim to its possession. This adversity can take on many different forms, but courage will always look the same: action in the face of fear.
2Cor. 8:2 How that in a great trial of affliction the abundance of their joy and their deep poverty abounded unto the riches of their liberality.
4. Faithfulness in commitment. Those whose words are true ought to be highly lifted up in our world today. Whether our word is given with a handshake, a contract, or a wedding ring, those who hold true to their oaths are worthy of commendation.
James 5:12b …let your yea be yea, and your nay, nay.
5. Generosity in abundance. To those who have received much, much should be given away. Often times, this abundance comes in forms other than material possessions. And in that way, we each have been given much… and each ought to be generous in our use of it.
Luke 12:48b For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.
6. Graciousness towards others. Those who routinely extend grace to others are among my greatest heroes. They have a healthy realization that this world is largely unfair, that people come from a variety of backgrounds, and that nobody is truly self-made… even themselves. As a result, they are quick to extend grace and mercy to others.
Gal. 6:10 As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.
7. Gratitude despite circumstance. Those who can find enough good in any circumstance to express gratitude are typically focused on the right things. And those who are focused on the right things tend to bend their lives towards those things… and draw others along with them.
1Th. 5:18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
8. Honesty in deprivation. It is when we are deprived of something desired that honesty is the most difficult. Whether we are deprived of something physical or intangible (like a desired outcome), dishonesty is often used to quickly take gain of something. Those who show honesty during deprivation reveal how highly they esteem it.
2Cor. 13:7 ¶ Now I pray to God that ye do no evil; not that we should appear approved, but that ye should do that which is honest, though we be as reprobates.
9. Hope during heartache. When heartache cuts at such a deep level that simple optimism is not enough… only hope can emerge. When it does, it is undeniably from a source far greater than ourselves. And those who find it, discover one of the greatest powers in the universe.
Rom. 5:2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
Rom. 5:3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
Rom. 5:4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
10. Humility in accomplishment. Those who are quick to deflect praise in accomplishment ought to be first in receiving it.
Matt. 18:2 And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,
Matt. 18:3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
Matt. 18:4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
11. Inspiration in relationship. We are all in relationship with others – sometimes in person, sometimes in print, sometimes in other ways. These relationships should not be used solely for personal gain but for bringing out the best in others. And those who inspire others to become the best they can be should be gifted with more and more and more relationships.
1Th. 4:9 ¶ But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another.
(This type of love puts the best interest of others first)
12. Integrity in the details. Integrity is found in the details. Those who show integrity in the little things of life will typically display it in the bigger things as well.
Luke 16:10 He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much.
13. Kindness to the weak. It is usually the weakest among us that are in most need of our kindness… and yet they receive it the least because they have no way to immediately repay it. When kindness is only shown for the sake of repayment, it becomes an investment and is no longer true kindness. Our true measure of kindness is shown in how we treat those who will never repay us.
James 1:27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.
14. Love for enemies. Anybody can love a friend. Anybody can love those who treat us well… and everybody does. But it takes a special type of person to extend love towards those who treat us unjustly.
Luke 6:27 ¶ But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you,
15. Optimism towards others. See the good in everyone. There is simply no way to bring out the best in others if you haven’t seen it first.
Titus 3:2 To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.
16. Perseverance in failure. Failure reveals much about our heart. It reveals our character, our humility, and our perseverance. We will all at some point face failure. And those who get back up and try again ought to be esteemed in our mind.
James 1:12 Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.
17. Purity in opportunity. While character is revealed in solitude and integrity is revealed in the details, purity is revealed in the face of opportunity. When dishonest gain (money, power, sex, etc.) presents itself, those who choose purity ought to be praised. Not only do they personally sleep better at night, but they make this world a better place for all of us.
1John 2:16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
18.Respect for authority. Authority brings order to a world of disorder. Certainly there are numerous examples throughout history (and today) of proper timing in overthrowing authority that oppresses its subjects. But in most cases, authority brings reason and order… and it should be allowed to do so.
Heb. 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.
19. Responsibility for mistake. From the weakest to the strongest, we all love to pass the blame. I can see it in my 5-year old daughter and I can see it in my government leaders. We are a people that are slow to accept responsibility for our mistakes. This is unfortunate. Because only those who can admit their mistakes have the opportunity to learn from them.
Gal. 6:5 For every man shall bear his own burden.
Gal. 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
20. Self-control in addiction. We are a people that too often give control of our most precious asset to another. We fall under the influence of substances, possessions, or entertainment. When we do, our life is no longer our own. And those who retain self-control in the face of addiction ought to be recognized as unique and judged accordingly.
Phil. 4:5 Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.
And when we all begin to properly esteem, champion, and follow those who lead from the inside… we will make far less mistakes in choosing who to follow.
Cecilia says
TORREY……my favorite Quote is
“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”
― Epicurus
You can see not all of us believe in your god…don’t judge..We are still good people. The only difference is we we are good because it is right not because we have a fear of judgement in the after life..
Audrey says
Hi Cecilia! Just wanted to add that I believe in God and I choose to do right because of who I am. I have never feared God. I know he loves me whether I do right or wrong.
Tom says
Sometimes it is better to not say God or Jesus right off because for some people it just put’s a bad taste in their mouth. I also believe in Jesus Christ as my way of life but have come to find out that if it is said like the way the minimalist put it down the line people start to wonder, well this works so well I wonder where he got his info and then it is up to us to tell them where it came from. For some people they like to take things for a ride before they buy it and that’s OK let us be here to guide them into the best ride they can get in life that being a life with our Lord and Savior at the wheel. Thank you for the Bible references that was nice too.
smibbo says
You miss one thing I think is very important: the ability to accept defeat without self-recrimination. Sometimes things just don’t work out and all the perseverence in the world won’t change that. All too often people hurt themselves by being afraid to let go. Whether its a loved one dying, an opportunity missed or a natural occurence inflicting devastation, there are times when on needs to accept the lack of control in life and move on.