“To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.” ―Josh Billings
Children learn more from watching their parents than from listening to them—more is caught than taught.
As parents, this puts great weight on how we conduct our lives. It requires us to be intentional about how we live. It requires us to self-reflect and evaluate if our lives match our words. And it requires us to be intentional about identifying the lessons we hope our kids will take from us.
Here then, as my two children get older, are the 35 Things I Hope They Will Say About Their Dad.
They represent the 35 most important lessons I hope they will learn from my life.
1. He loved us. I could see it in his words, his face, and his actions.
2. He loved our mom. And was always faithful to her.
3. He was honest. Both to us and to others. I never remember him telling a lie.
4. He was spiritual. He valued things bigger than this world and kept his eyes open for them.
5. He worked hard. He understood the value of a hard day’s work and wasn’t afraid of it.
6. But he always came home on time. He worked hard at his job. But he knew when to quit for the day.
7. He cared about people more than money.
8. He was a good friend. He taught me what that meant in a world that doesn’t.
9. He helped others. He looked for opportunities to serve—especially those who couldn’t help themselves.
10. He was generous. With his home, his money, his time, and his energy.
11. He made us laugh. It was always fun to spend time with him.
12. He loved to read. He read for work, for pleasure, and for self-improvement.
13. He loved life. He cherished all the moments of life—the big ones and the little ones.
14. He always had great hope. His hope was new, it was alive, and it was lasting.
15. He had our best in mind. We were disciplined, but it never felt motivated by anger, only love.
16. He was proud of us. He told us often.
17. But he pushed us to improve. He parented out of love and a genuine desire for us to succeed.
18. He saw the best in people. And sought to learn from them.
19. He loved his family. He cared for his parents and loved having everyone together.
20. He was always good to mom. His love for her provided a healthy model for my family.
21. He had a smile every morning. Each day provided a wealth of opportunity. And he chose to greet it with a smile.
22. He lived within his means. We were taken care of. We did fun stuff. We had nice things. But he knew where to draw the line.
23. He was unselfish. Life was always about more than getting the most for yourself.
24. He was wise. He had a healthy grasp on people, life, and situations.
25. He was quick to forgive. He knew that he had been forgiven much. And was quick to offer that same grace to others.
26. He didn’t let culture dictate his beliefs.
27. I knew I could count on him when I needed him. Anytime, day or night.
28. For some reason, I couldn’t get away with lying to him. He demanded honesty and I respected that. He could read me too well.
29. He was always asking about my friends. He wanted to know everything he could about the people I chose to spend time with.
30. He knew how to rest. He knew when and how to take time refreshing his body and soul.
31. He dreamed big dreams for me. Even when I didn’t believe in myself, he did.
32. He loved eating meals together.
33. He treated his body well. He knew the importance of keeping his body healthy—not for vain reasons, but to remain effective to this world as long as possible.
34. He loved his job. He worked hard at his job not because of the money, but because he believed in what he did.
35. He knew the difference between want and need.
And with this many life lessons to teach my children, I better not waste a single day—including this one.
penelope says
What about “he inspired me”?
Megan May says
Beautiful.
I just lost my dad in February and I can wholeheartedly say each of these things about him. I was so very lucky to have him.
Grace Zinkle says
I feel like this was an autobiography about my dad and I am crying right now
Doug Illman says
My Father was a great Dad yet was missing a few or more of your “35”. I have no regrets about my upbringing because he and my mom did the best they could with what they knew and understood about raising children at that time, beginning in the 50’s. It’s my hope that my children can respect me and my deficiencies yet knowing I also did the best I could raising them. No child can brag that a Father had all 35 points but we can be grateful our Dad’s did the very best they could. I’m proud of my Dad and thats all I can be ….
mike snyder says
Great words. Made me think of my folks. My desire also. :)
Mom of four says
This is nice but it forces me to inquire about where the teaching exists with some of the realistic moments of life where dads get discouraged or and the importance of admiting failure. The reality that Dad may not be prompt and that being on-time and always optimisitic isn’t a condition of his love. A tall idealistic list of the perfect dad isn’t what our children need to thrive, it’s honesty and love in real moments of humble admission.
Linda says
Great post. I think a couple of people might possibly be missing the heart of it though. It’s not about Joshua’s list! I mean… It’s a great list. But the point of the story is that we need to live what we hope to instill in our children. Your list might look radically different than Joshua’s. If you want your child to be an activist, then you have to stand up for others. If you want your child to be scholarly, then you have to read and study. Our children will reflect our behavior, thus, we must be worth reflecting.
Archna Mohan says
I love all your blogs and great to see something meaningful and life changing blogs .
Inta G says
its feels like you know my dad and you were describing him…HE was greatest man in my life!
les says
if only we could live up to these ideals
Gifyjgf says
Really truthful