“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.” —Angela Schwindt
Children add joy, purpose, and fulfillment to our lives. They bring us smiles, optimism, and cheerful attitudes. And given the chance, they will teach us valuable life lessons.
Certainly, growing children (physically, socially, intellectually, and emotionally) have added a new dimension to our minimalist journey, but I would’t want it any other way. In fact, some of the most important lessons about life and minimalism have been learned by watching my children.
Consider these:
1. One neighborhood friend is worth more than a basement full of toys. My two kids can spend countless hours with their neighborhood friends running from yard to yard, playing tag, catching bugs, or swinging on swings. They can spend every afternoon and evening together without being bored. But take them away from their friends for one Saturday at home with their toys… and boredom almost immediately sets in. The joy of playing alone in a roomful of toys quickly fades.
LIFE LESSON: Relationships with others are always more exciting and fulfilling than possessions.
2. Clothes are not worn to impress others. My First Grade son has two requirements for his clothing: 1) that he can get them dirty and 2) that he won’t get too hot. He has never worn a shirt to impress a girl or a pair of slacks to impress his teacher. (He has worn a shirt and slacks because his parents asked him to, but that’s a different subject). I don’t think the idea of trying to impress others by wearing the latest fashions has ever crossed his mind. He feels no pressure to conform or impress. And thus, he’s simply content with a clean tanktop and shorts.
LIFE LESSON: Wear clothing for its usefulness rather than as an attempt to impress others.
3. Life’s pains are healed best by a hug and a kiss… not new toys. My daughter falls down often (as most four year olds do). And when she skins her knee, she only wants one thing – her mommy to pick her up, give her a kiss, and tell her that everything is going to be okay. She doesn’t ask for a new toy… she only desires love and security. She has found the antidote to pain and wouldn’t trade it for anything else.
LIFE LESSON: Don’t look towards “things” to soothe the pain we encounter in life. Instead, seek love, acceptance, and security.
4. Fancy possessions and character are completely unrelated. I love helping in my son’s First Grade classroom because Kindergarten and First Grade may be the only places left on earth where labels don’t exist. At age 7, everyone is accepted and everyone plays with everyone else. Each person starts the day on equal footing. Nobody is pre-judged by the house that they live in or the clothes that they wear. Oh, that our world would begin to resemble a first-grade classroom.
LIFE LESSON: Judge people by their hearts and character, not by the meaningless externals of life.
5. Too many toys in a box only get in the way of the good ones. A funny thing happens after holidays. A mountain of new toys enter my childrens’ lives. The toys are initially meant with incredible excitement. However, after two or three days, they are pushed to the side as my kids return to the tried-and-true toys they had been playing with long before the holiday ever occurred. The new toys we thought would make them happier, don’t. Instead, they just start to get in the way.
LIFE LESSON: We often think that material possessions will bring lasting excitement into our life, but most of the time they just end up getting in the way.
6. The more toys you play with, the more time you spend cleaning them up. Because we clean up every night before bed (well, almost every night), our kids understand this pretty simple equation. The more toys we pull out of the closet, the more time we spend cleaning them up. And conversely, the less time we spend actually enjoying them.
LIFE LESSON: The more possessions we own, the more of our time is required to care for them, clean them, organize and sort them.
7. A hike in the woods beats a new video game any day. Video games simply can not compete with the graphics, the full-sensory experience, or the relationship of a family walk through the woods. Never have, never will. And for that matter, nothing else produced on television can compete either.
LIFE LESSON: Turn off the television. Go outside. Live life, don’t just watch it.
Perhaps children are in this world because we as grown-ups have so much left to relearn.
Mary Ann Rollano says
Absolutely true and very well said. Somehow we all know these statements to be true but often find fleeting in practice. Number 3 about the hug and kiss ring very true with me and most parents. I wrote a blog post about the value of “kissing ” booboos.” http://www.maryannastea.com/blogs/news
You eloquently speak about simplicity and minimalism in our daily lives regarding posessions. The same holds true for our food and beverages as well. The sooner we realize that simple foods and beverages made from real food ingredients are better for us, the sooner we will reach a healthier state.
Noelani says
I love this! :)
Laura Anne says
A couple of weeks ago my 6 year old decided he wanted to go on an adventure with Grandpapa – he got his back pack – his collection jar – his water bottle – enough snacks for them both – his reptile/amphibian identification book and his Grandpapa and went out for a rainy walk in the woods.
I love the independence at this age – the make it happen attitude. Nature calls – our job is to let our kiddos follow it.
Jeanna says
Jesse-
you’re not really worth my time…so i will just say this…. I feel sad that you not only have ‘hate’ in your life but that you also feel the need to get on here and talk about it. is this really how you choose to spend your ‘minimalist’ time? i feel sorry for you.
Jesse says
I… HATE… KIDS!
I’m quite young and I remember the kindergarten and first grades very well. A very frustrating time for me. Why?
-The inclusiveness of kids means they disrespect my personal boundaries and get in my face.
-Total lack of hygiene standards is offensive (would we tolerate it in older people?), and when concerning ingestion, takes away my appetite.
-All play and no work. Again, do we adore adults that greedily leech off the sweat of others?
-Kids are unwilling to accept counter-intuitive evidence.
-Kids think they deserve special treatment even though they do nothing to deserve it.
-They are impudent and inconsiderate, blurting the first thing that comes to mind.
-#7 is right. Kids think they can take on the world, so they turn down TV/film/books/mentors and other sources of wisdom.
Admiration of these “qualities” does not mollify my anger at them. How do you manage to find them not only tolerable, but enviable?
In case anybody is offended by my cyberpresence, I am here because I am by nature a minimalist.
Alyssa says
To be offended, I’d first have to value your opinion. Your hate is self destructive and a total waste if your time.
Adam says
It’s incredible of you to be so sure that a hike in the woods won’t ever get surpassed by those two things.
Can I express my opinion as fact too?
Danielle says
Thanks for the post! I’m going to take more time this week to enjoy the ‘little things’ that are truly the big things.
Through the eyes of a child…. :)
Stanley Lee says
Children don’t know how to be pretentious unless someone educated them to do so, which creates the problem associated with unnecessary possessions, clutter, and debt created from buying unaffordable things.
Not only do adults need to relearn certain practices, they also need to unlearn a lot of lessons accepted by faulty but popularly accepted assumptions taught when growing up.
Di says
Joshua, your posts are always so inspiring and practical. That’s what keeps me looking forward to your next one. My son is grown now and I don’t have grandchildren yet, but when I do, I will keep your ideas in mind. They are very similar to the way we raised our son. My husband and I always limited the amount and types of toys he had. He could never understand why his friends had to spend Saturdays cleaning their rooms. Since we kept things to a minimum and we cleaned up as we went along this was never a problem. We wanted to encourage his imagination as well as encourage him to play outside. We took long walks with him and he loved it, even when people thought we were being mean “for making him walk.” Even today, he does not sit around the house playing games or watching TV/DVDs, but loves to be active —-running, working out at the gym, swimming, camping, bicycling, exploring, hiking, rock climbing. It is important to remember that the values we instill in young children will remain with them for life.
Steve says
I agree with Christie Z. The older the kids get, the more these rules fly out the window. We used to have to practically force our son outside once he got video games! We see the same thing going on with our grandchildren. They are 8 and 6. I think it depends on the household they grow up in too!.