“If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them as half as much money.” —Abigail Van Buren
Toys. Sometimes, they feel like they are everywhere… like a never-ending army in a never-ending war.
Personally, over the past two years, we have taken intentional steps to minimize the number of toys in our home. Sometimes we feel like we are winning the battle, other days we feel like we are losing. But I did want to begin a conversation by offering some of the practical tips we have used to help minimize the number of toys in our home. Hopefully, you’ll have some helpful tips to add as well. And perhaps, we can encourage one another in the seemingly, never-ending battle against toy clutter.
To be fair, the exact “ideal number” of toys will vary from family to family (if there even is one). But hopefully, each of these tips will be helpful to those of you who know the ideal number is certainly less than you have today.
1. Be convinced that less is better. As with any minimalist (or simplifying) project, it always begins with a heartfelt belief that less is better and desirable. I’m assuming if you have read past the title of this post, you already believe this to be true when it comes to toys. But if not, take a moment to read, Why Fewer Toys Will Benefit Your Kids.
2. Fewer toys is different than no toys. Toys can be educational and play an important role in a child’s development. Just to be clear, I’m not advocating no toys, I’m arguing for less.
3. Analyze your own motivation for purchasing toys. Most children don’t buy toys for themselves – somebody else does. If there are too many toys in your home, start with yourself. Why are there so many toys in your home? A healthy look at your own motivations may go a long-way in solving this problem.
4. Choose quality over quantity. You and your children will benefit more from toys that are chosen for their quality (in workmanship) and purpose (playability) than for their sheer quantity. And just like everything else in life, too many toys will always distract from the truly important ones.
5. Purge often. Most likely, you need to make a clean-sweep of your childrens’ toys right now. Removing the “low-hanging fruit” (toys that are no longer used) is a great place to start and shouldn’t take too long. Put the clean, unused toys in boxes and donate them to a medical center, nonprofit organization, local church, homeless shelter, orphanage, school, or Goodwill. Simply discard the dirty or broken ones. Then, stay on top of the clutter by purging on a regular basis and going beyond the low-hanging fruit.
6. Set a confined, physical space for toys. Whether it is a container, a shelving unit, or a closet, set a confined physical space for your children’s toys. Once the space is full, there is no room to add more toys. Help your children understand that principle by clearly marking the boundaries. If they want to add (think holidays and birthdays), they’ll need to remove first.
7. Limit your purchasing with a budget. If you budget for other categories in your life (groceries, clothing, entertainment), you already understand how this principle helps keep your spending and consumption in check. If you don’t, start today by setting a monthly/yearly budget for toys. Enforcing a predetermined budget amount will help in limiting your toy purchases.
8. Don’t give into fads. Just like clock-work, toy companies will generate a new “toy-fad” every few months by artificially generating a cultural buzz. If done well, this artificial buzz will become mainstream in the culture and no longer feel artificial. But it is. And it will always pass. You don’t need to give in just because every other parent is.
9. Keep a healthy, realistic attitude toward toy companies and toy stores. They may tell you that their main goal is to help or educate your child, but often times they are driven most by their bottom line.
10. Avoid duplicate toys. Instead, require your children to learn the invaluable life lessons of sharing, generosity, cooperation, and compromise.
11. Find a local toy library. Consider borrowing toys rather than purchasing them.
12. Watch less television. Consider the fact that marketers are brilliant at shaping the desires of men and women, young and old. Now, imagine giving them hours each day to shape your children’s minds too… and you’ll quickly realize that you don’t stand a chance. Make sure to limit the screen time for your kids.
13. Don’t give in to temper-tantrums at the store. Every time you give in to a temper-tantrum at the store just to avoid a scene, you embolden your child to do it again. They quickly learn how to manipulate you. Don’t worry about the scene that is taking place in public. Wise parents in the store will respect you for not giving in – and the foolish ones will learn a valuable lesson.
14. Equip your children to make wise choices. Involve your kids in the purging process. Help them make decisions about which toys should stay and which should go. This will serve them well into adulthood. After all, don’t you wish your parents had forced you to learn that skill?
15. Teach them to value other activities. Although all kids have natural tendencies towards certain endeavors, expand their mind by regularly introducing them to new activities that don’t revolve around toys.
16. Limit your toys too. Kids will always learn more from example than words. If your life is caught up in always needing to own the latest fashion, technology, or product on the market, theirs will be too. And it would be unreasonable to expect anything less.
Keeping fewer toys will never be easy. It will always require thought and intentionality. But it will always result in your children learning to value who they are more than what they have. And that always make it worth the effort.
Christine says
Good stuff! My family definately needs to heed this advice. I’m so glad to hear you have children. Would you be willing to post pictures of your home? I’d love to see what a real life minimalist’s family home actually looks like. Feeling inspired! Thanks!!
Morghan says
My kid’s toys are all wood and metal.
She does get a hand-me-down tablet when I upgrade my own, which probably isn’t the best of minimalist practices, but I run about a four year cycle while everyone else I know who buys gadgets tends to run on half that or less.
I excuse it as a consolidation effort, all the gadgets (and all the mass of papers I once had to contend with that are now digitized) mashed together in to one, and the passing on of old Daddy toys as knowing that I’ll never get anything worthwhile back after I’ve had any piece of tech for more than a few years.
Ellen says
I felt so guilty after last Christmas because my 2 youngest (we have 6) received way too many presents, most of the presents were expensive brandname plastic ‘must have’ items, but after a few months these toys still hadn’t really been played with, they were just left dumped on the bedroom floor, mostly my kids play with the things they’ve had for years or homemade toys, they spend hours playing with things made from cereal boxes, anyway bagging up all of the unused, unloved gifts was heart breaking because I knew that friends and family had spent their time and money on acquiring these things, so this year We are having a homemade Christmas, I’m not buying gifts for anyone, including our kids and I’m going to ask others to either put money in savings accounts or to come share an experience with us, we can bake gingerbread, make Christmas cards or go ice skating, I’ve explained to our kids and we are already looking forward to it and it’s going to be so much easier for us adults to enjoy the Christmas season without having the stress of trying to buy gifts for everyone.
Vanessa says
This is how I feel, your only a kid once. Fads and trends are what society is based off of. I am on a budget, but toys are part of being a kid. If the new Polly Pockets are what is popular, why would I buy my daughter a “educational video game”? I believe kids should have fun. I’m not saying buy them every toy on the self, I’m saying that toys make memories. And a toy library…really? I would my child to keep her first baby doll forever. I’m an adult, and I still feel like a child when I look at my old baby doll and cabbage patch. In addition, my children never have temper tantrums in a store, I raised them right. If they want something, they tell me, if they do well in school or its their birthday soon, I’ll get the stupid $20 toy. It’s that simple. Our country is not that poor, that we need to be like “our children can’t have what they want.”
Bethany says
Agreed!
Katie@alwayssimplybegin says
Thank you for this! We have struggled our whole parenting lives (4 kiddos) and it is easy to lose the motivation to keep it simple. This is helpful for me to get back on the horse so to speak.
Jackie says
My 5 year old will be having her very first birthday party in a couple of weeks and we are asking for NO gifts. This is such a tough one because when we are invited to other kids parties, it is expected to bring a gift. I’ve already spent $60 in the last couple of months on gifts for kids I don’t know. We want to instill in them that quality family time is important. We’ll go somewhere special, cook or go out for a favorite meal, pay for swim lessons etc…
How do I explain why we take a gift to a party, but won’t be receiving any for ourselves. My friend recently had a party and asked only for gently used toys for a charity. I like this idea too, so that’s an option.
P.S…our goody bags will consist of home-made play dough, a sunflower sprout, and fresh popcorn.
Jennifer says
Jackie, that is just what we are doing next month for my son’s 6th birthday. We decided to invite my son’s whole kindergarten class (24) plus a couple of other friends, so we are having it at a park. This is a lot more kids than I would like at a party (usually we have about 10 kids), but his school is very small and has only 1 class in each grade level, so it ends up being easier to just invite them all. The prospect of all those gifts was disgusting, so we are also are having a no gifts party. I thought about a book exchange or donation to the food bank, which are great ideas, but decided to keep it even simpler by just saying bring only yourselves and have fun playing at the park. I told my son that he will get enough gifts from family. We do go to alot of parties and bring gifts, so he was a little disappointed at first but now is fine– he knows that we don’t have room for all those gifts. I also like your goody-bag idea!
Cheryl says
OHHHH!! I think that THIS if the blog I’ve been searching for! I have tried to find someone to “talk” to about the need to declutter toys…how to get less here, less coming in!
Thanks!
jennifer wallington says
I love living minimally! I have been a fan for years I read Don Aslett book when I was a kid and i was converted, my parenst are messy and they hoard so I can appreciate how fantastic life is when you are clutter free!
I have 2 boys 4 1/2 and 7 1/2 and have always been careful to ensure that they appreciate the things that they get. I still make mistakes and end up dejunking things but that is fine childrens needs change and ebay and charity shops are welcome to it
My grandmother has recently moved in with my parents so has more disposable income and time as my grandfather has gone into a residental home, she started buying my kids toys which were generally cheap inappropritae 5 minute wonders. I sat her down and had a chat about them needing to appreciate toys and that they are only to receive gifts on thei birthdays and christmas and she was totally fine I made it clear that I appreciated her input and love of my children
when my older boy was in reception he had a big birthday party and invited the entire class and other friends (50 kids) I insisted on no gifts only play dates, how could 1 small child open and appreciate 50 gifts?
I only give cash gifts £5 in a card is sufficient given the number of parties my kids go to (nearly every weekend) so that we dont clutter up other peoples lives
Kids today have such rich lives, my boys go to so many places and on so many trips compared to my childhhod these expereinces are much more valuable than a big pile of toys they will outgrow they will have their memories forever
Debbie says
For birthdays, we have started requesting donations to the local food bank instead of gifts. Our 2 year old is too young to notice or care and our 4 year old is old enough to understand the importance. They still get some toys, family usually will give a gift and close friends often bring a smaller gift (stickers or a book, or if they ask for our request, a specific quality toy), but we don’t end up with a dozen “worthless pieces of plastic”.
We also rotate our toys, so at any given time, half are stowed away and when they reappear, they are “new” again. This also makes it easier to purge toys because if I purge toys that are in the off cycle, it isn’t like something has all the sudden disappeared from the playroom.
And third is regifting to ourselves. We occasionally get toys that are too old at the time, or hand me down toys from friends. Rather than having all these out at once, we put them away and when it is time for gift giving occasions, we can bring these out as new.
Karen says
Hey Josh! I just found you here!
One to add to the “less toys” list….don’t take your kids to the toy store or toy section of a store. Pretty simple and it works to avoid the in-store temper tantrums. My kids (8,6 and 2) have never been in a Toys R Us.