“If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them as half as much money.” —Abigail Van Buren
Toys. Sometimes, they feel like they are everywhere… like a never-ending army in a never-ending war.
Personally, over the past two years, we have taken intentional steps to minimize the number of toys in our home. Sometimes we feel like we are winning the battle, other days we feel like we are losing. But I did want to begin a conversation by offering some of the practical tips we have used to help minimize the number of toys in our home. Hopefully, you’ll have some helpful tips to add as well. And perhaps, we can encourage one another in the seemingly, never-ending battle against toy clutter.
To be fair, the exact “ideal number” of toys will vary from family to family (if there even is one). But hopefully, each of these tips will be helpful to those of you who know the ideal number is certainly less than you have today.
1. Be convinced that less is better. As with any minimalist (or simplifying) project, it always begins with a heartfelt belief that less is better and desirable. I’m assuming if you have read past the title of this post, you already believe this to be true when it comes to toys. But if not, take a moment to read, Why Fewer Toys Will Benefit Your Kids.
2. Fewer toys is different than no toys. Toys can be educational and play an important role in a child’s development. Just to be clear, I’m not advocating no toys, I’m arguing for less.
3. Analyze your own motivation for purchasing toys. Most children don’t buy toys for themselves – somebody else does. If there are too many toys in your home, start with yourself. Why are there so many toys in your home? A healthy look at your own motivations may go a long-way in solving this problem.
4. Choose quality over quantity. You and your children will benefit more from toys that are chosen for their quality (in workmanship) and purpose (playability) than for their sheer quantity. And just like everything else in life, too many toys will always distract from the truly important ones.
5. Purge often. Most likely, you need to make a clean-sweep of your childrens’ toys right now. Removing the “low-hanging fruit” (toys that are no longer used) is a great place to start and shouldn’t take too long. Put the clean, unused toys in boxes and donate them to a medical center, nonprofit organization, local church, homeless shelter, orphanage, school, or Goodwill. Simply discard the dirty or broken ones. Then, stay on top of the clutter by purging on a regular basis and going beyond the low-hanging fruit.
6. Set a confined, physical space for toys. Whether it is a container, a shelving unit, or a closet, set a confined physical space for your children’s toys. Once the space is full, there is no room to add more toys. Help your children understand that principle by clearly marking the boundaries. If they want to add (think holidays and birthdays), they’ll need to remove first.
7. Limit your purchasing with a budget. If you budget for other categories in your life (groceries, clothing, entertainment), you already understand how this principle helps keep your spending and consumption in check. If you don’t, start today by setting a monthly/yearly budget for toys. Enforcing a predetermined budget amount will help in limiting your toy purchases.
8. Don’t give into fads. Just like clock-work, toy companies will generate a new “toy-fad” every few months by artificially generating a cultural buzz. If done well, this artificial buzz will become mainstream in the culture and no longer feel artificial. But it is. And it will always pass. You don’t need to give in just because every other parent is.
9. Keep a healthy, realistic attitude toward toy companies and toy stores. They may tell you that their main goal is to help or educate your child, but often times they are driven most by their bottom line.
10. Avoid duplicate toys. Instead, require your children to learn the invaluable life lessons of sharing, generosity, cooperation, and compromise.
11. Find a local toy library. Consider borrowing toys rather than purchasing them.
12. Watch less television. Consider the fact that marketers are brilliant at shaping the desires of men and women, young and old. Now, imagine giving them hours each day to shape your children’s minds too… and you’ll quickly realize that you don’t stand a chance. Make sure to limit the screen time for your kids.
13. Don’t give in to temper-tantrums at the store. Every time you give in to a temper-tantrum at the store just to avoid a scene, you embolden your child to do it again. They quickly learn how to manipulate you. Don’t worry about the scene that is taking place in public. Wise parents in the store will respect you for not giving in – and the foolish ones will learn a valuable lesson.
14. Equip your children to make wise choices. Involve your kids in the purging process. Help them make decisions about which toys should stay and which should go. This will serve them well into adulthood. After all, don’t you wish your parents had forced you to learn that skill?
15. Teach them to value other activities. Although all kids have natural tendencies towards certain endeavors, expand their mind by regularly introducing them to new activities that don’t revolve around toys.
16. Limit your toys too. Kids will always learn more from example than words. If your life is caught up in always needing to own the latest fashion, technology, or product on the market, theirs will be too. And it would be unreasonable to expect anything less.
Keeping fewer toys will never be easy. It will always require thought and intentionality. But it will always result in your children learning to value who they are more than what they have. And that always make it worth the effort.
Alison says
I have three girls (5, 6, & 10) and they seem to love the same toys as the years go on. I still have the doll house and accessories I got at a yard sale 7 years ago and it’s still played with today. My middle daughter has a love (I mean LOVE) of stuffed animals and is collecting a zoo. I’ve always thought it was too much, but she creates scenarios everyday with them. Then there are the model horses, LPS characters and houses. The list seems endless. But then there is the other side of children’s play. The sandbox, the “awesome fort” they created in the back yard, sidewalk chalk, bikes, etc. I’m willing to let them keep out their toys because they take hours to design a village and then they interact with it for the next week. It sometimes feels like a mess but I’m over it. Wouldn’t you be upset if someone dumped your dinner in the trash after you spent hours in the kitchen preparing it? I purge when necessary and the girls help donate to charity, but we have toys and I’m okay with it.
Danielle says
I love the spirit of what you said! My 7, 6, and 3 y.o.’s behave similarly- we basically only have “building toys” like blocks and legos, and “imaginative toys” like dolls, small kitchen toys, stuffed animals, dress-up items, and they get played with constantly and with great creativity! But they still make a mess and wouldn’t probably count as “minimal” even though they are entirely intentional. I think I like “only have what you truly need” better than “less is always better.”
Juliet van Ree says
This one is tough. I have a 13 year old with autism and he has a hard time letting go, because letting go means change. He has high functioning autism so I’ve talked with him about the benefits of owning less and he understands them. And he is making progress.. He is definitely trying. But I still see it is so hard for him and it essentially scares him when much change is happening (so also when toys or hoarded items leave). He has a huge passion for electronics and everything is useful in his eyes and of the same value. Even when being an old memory bank of a 20 year old computer… It could still be used. Ah well we will continue to explain and talk about it… Where there is a will there is a way :)
Careshia says
I am in the middle of a purge right now and I am so thankful I found your blog. It is helping to keep me motivated. I am doing my daughter’s room right now and my gosh!! She has toys and pieces of toys everywhere. Insane! Keep the great tips coming.
mabs says
we had the same problem with gifts from grandparents/uncles/ants/neighbours etc.
I got rid of it like this: I have a standing list on my computer where I put in everything that we do not need IMMEDIATLY but in the near future for the kids. It incluedes toys and books as well but also stuff like car seat, bike, kids set of fork/knive and stuff like that.
So any time somebody asks for a suggestion I have tons.
Also before christmas and birthdays I send a group email with the list to everybody who usually buys gifts and ask them to tell me IF they pick something off the list. Just make sure to tell them they are free to chose something else too. Also it is important to send it well ahead, otherwise everyone already did buy gifts that you dont need and the list is useless
adele says
Really good idea, thanks!
savitha says
excellent points you made, especially – who buys the toys that have cluttered the house and what are the motivations behind those. But nowadays sometimes the list of unused toys includes those that should be used, while screen based ones (tv, laptop, smartphone, gaming consoles) dominate the time and mind space. so i tend to keep around lot of stuff to keep the kids engaged in non screen activities.
Fiona Cee says
The only toys i have to ‘worry’ about are my own childhood soft toys (and quite a few childhood books) that are no go areas. NOT throwing out!
Jenny says
I would really appreciate an index or drop-down archive list of your posts.
Hallie says
With four (soon to be five) children all 8 and under we constantly fight the battle of too many toys. I’ve donated boxes of toys and have four very large bins full of stored toys that are taken out to play with on occasion not including what is on the shelves of the toy room. We run into the problem that we have boys and a girl and many toys are not unisex – she loves play food and baby dolls, the boys adore their imaginext and legos. We do try to limit the children when spending their allowance or receiving gifts into buying only what will “add on” to the toy collections they already have. As a result we have a virtual toy store of legos, hero factory, Imaginext, nerf guns, and Big Boots. For the younger set we have a small bin of baby toys, blocks, baby dolls, and play food/baby doll accessories. I have limited what is openly available to play with to pretty much those few categories, but there are still so many small pieces that the mess is still crazy sometimes. However, since all those toys are educational and encourage creativity I have a hard time with the idea of getting rid of them or limiting them because with such toys more always means more creativity and more building or play options. It’s a delicate balance we are still trying to figure out…
Paul says
But what about the toys your kids get as gifts from relatives? They are the hardest ones to get rid of…
Naomi says
I have four boys and a lot of toys, we purge often, but they multiply I swear. I have an ex husband, and three sets of grandparents, as well as aunts and uncles. So there are a lot of gifts that happen in our house. For the past two years I have asked and received from 2/3 of the grandparents for money for their college fund. I also talked to my ex about what he was getting (quantity over quality) and he’s scaled back his gifts to more meaningful and higher quality. When I asked for the money instead of toys I explained *why* we were asking. I also let them know that if they saw something that really fit the child then to please get it. I didn’t take away their gift giving ability, but I did let them know that with our abundance we would rather have a gift that would help them in the future.
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