“If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them as half as much money.” —Abigail Van Buren
Toys. Sometimes, they feel like they are everywhere… like a never-ending army in a never-ending war.
Personally, over the past two years, we have taken intentional steps to minimize the number of toys in our home. Sometimes we feel like we are winning the battle, other days we feel like we are losing. But I did want to begin a conversation by offering some of the practical tips we have used to help minimize the number of toys in our home. Hopefully, you’ll have some helpful tips to add as well. And perhaps, we can encourage one another in the seemingly, never-ending battle against toy clutter.
To be fair, the exact “ideal number” of toys will vary from family to family (if there even is one). But hopefully, each of these tips will be helpful to those of you who know the ideal number is certainly less than you have today.
1. Be convinced that less is better. As with any minimalist (or simplifying) project, it always begins with a heartfelt belief that less is better and desirable. I’m assuming if you have read past the title of this post, you already believe this to be true when it comes to toys. But if not, take a moment to read, Why Fewer Toys Will Benefit Your Kids.
2. Fewer toys is different than no toys. Toys can be educational and play an important role in a child’s development. Just to be clear, I’m not advocating no toys, I’m arguing for less.
3. Analyze your own motivation for purchasing toys. Most children don’t buy toys for themselves – somebody else does. If there are too many toys in your home, start with yourself. Why are there so many toys in your home? A healthy look at your own motivations may go a long-way in solving this problem.
4. Choose quality over quantity. You and your children will benefit more from toys that are chosen for their quality (in workmanship) and purpose (playability) than for their sheer quantity. And just like everything else in life, too many toys will always distract from the truly important ones.
5. Purge often. Most likely, you need to make a clean-sweep of your childrens’ toys right now. Removing the “low-hanging fruit” (toys that are no longer used) is a great place to start and shouldn’t take too long. Put the clean, unused toys in boxes and donate them to a medical center, nonprofit organization, local church, homeless shelter, orphanage, school, or Goodwill. Simply discard the dirty or broken ones. Then, stay on top of the clutter by purging on a regular basis and going beyond the low-hanging fruit.
6. Set a confined, physical space for toys. Whether it is a container, a shelving unit, or a closet, set a confined physical space for your children’s toys. Once the space is full, there is no room to add more toys. Help your children understand that principle by clearly marking the boundaries. If they want to add (think holidays and birthdays), they’ll need to remove first.
7. Limit your purchasing with a budget. If you budget for other categories in your life (groceries, clothing, entertainment), you already understand how this principle helps keep your spending and consumption in check. If you don’t, start today by setting a monthly/yearly budget for toys. Enforcing a predetermined budget amount will help in limiting your toy purchases.
8. Don’t give into fads. Just like clock-work, toy companies will generate a new “toy-fad” every few months by artificially generating a cultural buzz. If done well, this artificial buzz will become mainstream in the culture and no longer feel artificial. But it is. And it will always pass. You don’t need to give in just because every other parent is.
9. Keep a healthy, realistic attitude toward toy companies and toy stores. They may tell you that their main goal is to help or educate your child, but often times they are driven most by their bottom line.
10. Avoid duplicate toys. Instead, require your children to learn the invaluable life lessons of sharing, generosity, cooperation, and compromise.
11. Find a local toy library. Consider borrowing toys rather than purchasing them.
12. Watch less television. Consider the fact that marketers are brilliant at shaping the desires of men and women, young and old. Now, imagine giving them hours each day to shape your children’s minds too… and you’ll quickly realize that you don’t stand a chance. Make sure to limit the screen time for your kids.
13. Don’t give in to temper-tantrums at the store. Every time you give in to a temper-tantrum at the store just to avoid a scene, you embolden your child to do it again. They quickly learn how to manipulate you. Don’t worry about the scene that is taking place in public. Wise parents in the store will respect you for not giving in – and the foolish ones will learn a valuable lesson.
14. Equip your children to make wise choices. Involve your kids in the purging process. Help them make decisions about which toys should stay and which should go. This will serve them well into adulthood. After all, don’t you wish your parents had forced you to learn that skill?
15. Teach them to value other activities. Although all kids have natural tendencies towards certain endeavors, expand their mind by regularly introducing them to new activities that don’t revolve around toys.
16. Limit your toys too. Kids will always learn more from example than words. If your life is caught up in always needing to own the latest fashion, technology, or product on the market, theirs will be too. And it would be unreasonable to expect anything less.
Keeping fewer toys will never be easy. It will always require thought and intentionality. But it will always result in your children learning to value who they are more than what they have. And that always make it worth the effort.
Kelley Mariano says
When my kids were little there are two things I did that really worked when it came to limiting how many toys I thought they needed. First, if we were at a store with toys(which was almost never unless we were buying a gift for another child) and my kid started whining about wanting something, I would whip out a piece of paper and a pen and say, “if you could have anything in this store, what would you want? Let’s write it all down”. You give them what they want in their dreams. (From the book”Talk so your kids will listen and listen so your kids will talk”). Another thing was to switch out the toys. I would take a bunch of toys that were not being played with much and put them in the attic. A few months later (3-6), I’d bring them back and the kids were psyched and they got played with like they were brand new. Honestly, much of my minimalism was a direct result of lack of money, but I am so grateful because I have two of the least materialistic adult children I know.
Rachel says
These are good ideas and I have a couple more :) If you have a lot of toys that are still valid for your child’s age… find a place to hide the excess toys so that they have a choice of like 10-15 toys. (You can group some of them as one toy to be fair of course! I think Lego blocks would be a given! XD) And over every two-four weeks (whatever works for you) you rotate the toys that have been out with the toys that had been in storage. For younger kids especially, it may feel like getting an unexpected present when in fact they just haven’t seen the toy in “forever” (Gee wonder why mom and dad LOL) This not only helps with clean up but can set a good routine and also set boundaries.
Another tip as mentioned in the article above but having the idea fleshed out a bit… quantity over quality. Get something that is age appropriate of course, but also make sure it’s a fun new challenge to learn that will take up your child’s time. Granted you can find cheap items from a dollar store or stuff you already have and MAKE your own toys and games and really have some fun! There are all kinds of articles online that have really good, fun, creative ideas!
I love stealing the ideas from creative people XDD
Julie Brown says
My children had a few toys each, and I mean a few. These days as all my children have become households with both parents working their kids have ridiculous amounts of toys. It is mind boggling. I know a lot of it is guilt. I wish I could impress on them that less is more.
Sue Wood says
I am a Nana, my birthday request this year was a Zoo Membership, with my grandchildren’s names attached. If I can take them to 3 different zoos in Melbourne , Australia
, I am happy and I am sure their parents are also.
J. Marie says
A helpful book that has fun with this idea is “Too Many Toys” by David Shannon. It helps our girls understand our decisions this way as part of our family culture. We cull toys seasonally and/or before gifting times. If kids are pretty young, we so this work without them.
W says
Absolutely agree. Looking at other families with young kids around me I saw problems with not only too much toys/clutters but kids are still whining about they are bored; they keep bugging for screen time:rather stare at their iPads/electronic devices. When clearly they are surrounded with wall to wall toys in every room in the house. Kids are simply given too much just to be entertained & “keep busy”.
josephine d says
Something that helped us was making a wish list. Often times when we get a lot of toys or toys that done align with our principles (fad toys or toys with a million pieces) it is because our relatives dont have an idea what to buy. You have control over quantity and quality and the relatives can choose from the list. This way everyone is happy! We choose a broad range of monetary values to fit all budgets. This year we traveled to see family so we asked for things that are small (dvds and gift certs) or needed (pajamas and socks). My kids got to play with the big toys their cousins got. When we get home they each are getting one big thing (bikes) from us. It has been a lot less ovwewhelming and we get the gift of time with our extended family.
Vangibabe says
The quote at the top of this article says it all!!! If I could ‘like’ this post a thousand times over I would!!!! Children want time with mom and dad – fun time! It is easy to give a toy and miss enjoying THEM. It is easy for them to receive a toy and miss YOU. A toy here or there is neither bad nor good, but many toys distort priorities, distort quality of time. A toy cannot replace a learning experience or loving experience with parents. A toy can be a tool but never replace them. When toys cloud your house, your time and become your master … It’s time for a million articles like this to pull us back to reality. The sad reality is that most of us have forgotten what it is like to have no distractions where we are faced to spend time with our priceless children. What would we do together without toys is a great place to start. If a toy brings the whole family together then by golly keep it! Generally speaking too many toys bar us from seeing the obvious… That we have inevitably created an escape mechanism to distract us from each other. Peace.
Sherril says
Nailed it
S says
Christmas, Birthday’s, Easter, oh and any particular reason, gifts are all always walking through the door. The relatives, that have no time to visit and a big credit card, tend to be the overspenders and fad toy/activity providers. I give out lists a month or two before the traditional gift giving event. Remind grandparents that any money given will be placed in their educational fund (no matter how small/large). I mention options for paying for dance class, parks and recreation gift cards, passes to the local museum, but they will pay for these things and buy toys. Like its never good enough! We write on birthday cards, please no gifts, your presence is present enough! Yet my house, and many of my friends houses are filled with enough toys to run a daycare!
At Christmas, I buy one present for each child (a book), and their stocking is filled with edible treats (an orange and a cookie or chocolate) with a new toothbrush and toothpaste. Yet the toys continue to pour in! My oldest daughter doesn’t even play with toys, she will craft, read, bake, dance, bike and run around in the yard all day long if the weather would permit it :)
So downsizing is a reality every special event. I’ve read somewhere that for every item that comes into your house, remove one or two old items in the same category (toy, clothing). I think I will need to be removing a lot more than one item this Christmas.
April says
Please make sure your children are on board with this first. I know adults who say they hoard BECAUSE their parents threw away their toys and that sense of loss and disempowerment drives them to seek out what they have lost and not give things away lest they lose things ever again.
Sherril says
It’s hard when you are sentimental about your child’s toys and clothes. I’ll try to at least get donate something a day.
Keywest says
This post is very humbling. I am thankful to read and re-read it…it is keeping me on track with my goals. Thanks again for such positive, life changing posts. Be blessed!