A home improvement show blared over the 50-inch TV in the car mechanic’s lobby as I waited for the oil to be changed in my Honda Accord. While I rarely watch television shows at home, my one-hour wait prompted me to look.
A woman was getting a home makeover, and seemed quite happy. Tears streamed down her face. She was excited to restart life in her new home.
Then came a commercial. And another. And another. And another. And… well, you get the point.
I was glued for a few minutes, though.
The TV seemed to be suggesting I needed to repaint my home, update my wardrobe, take heartburn medication, get better sleep at night with a new mattress, and enter a sweepstakes for my own home improvement project.
These were all companies, ideas, and items that I had never heard about nor considered.
When I caught myself mulling over the prospect of buying two sweatshirts for the price of one, I laughed about the power of these advertisements and gently refocused my attention on the book I had brought to read.
But this moment stuck with me.
Companies spend billions each year on advertisements because advertisements spur spending more often than not. I’ve been promoting the countercultural philosophy of minimalism for a lot of years, but I am still not immune to the subtle pull of consumerism. I was humbled knowing that I still have the potential to fall for these marketing messages.
As humans, we are consumers. From the indigenous peoples of Canada to the billionaires of Manhattan, we all need sustenance and shelter to survive. Life requires consumption. However, when we buy more than we need, can afford, or continue to occupy ever greater amounts of space, conspicuous consumption is likely present.
Fortunately, we are also social creatures. And properly applied, we can tap into the power of relationships for healthier living.
For instance, when I’m tested to consume, I fall back on my values, family, friends, and the Becoming Minimalist community.
Each article I write. Every conversation with a friend. All the time with my family. They all provide accountability.
If I were to come home driving a brand-new luxury vehicle, I know my wife would question how this fits with my values. And heck, how would I explain it to you all?
You’d probably be quite upset or, at least, confused, right? You might think, “Why’s that guy driving a luxury vehicle when he just said he liked his Honda?”
Therein lies the power of an accountability loop: I strive for minimalism, writing and talking about simple living, which helps me sustain this value. To do otherwise, would likely cause me embarrassment and shame, and make you question what I preach.
This discourse acts as a very public—albeit informal—contract about my values, intentions, and dreams.
The question now is how you can find resolve for when you are tested.
Here are five quick steps you can take to create an accountability loop in order to consume less—especially in a world that constantly promotes consuming more:
1. Talk to a close family member or friend about being a minimalist.
Tell them about your hopes, dreams, and rationale for owning less. Whether you’re considering or already committed to it, you’ve already taken a significant step towards accountability by talking aloud. Ask them what they think about your values. Now they’ll know what matters to you, and might notice positive changes along the way. Additionally, you’ll be giving them permission to speak up if your actions do not align with your dreams.
2. Share a specific goal for minimalism on social media.
Facebook and other social media platforms can be distractions when you need to get things done. But they can also be used for good. Maybe you’re considering downsizing your home, decluttering your child’s unused toys, or donating that clothing from an ugly-sweater party seven years ago. Write it in print. Put it out there that you intend to achieve this goal, and see how people respond. You might just be surprised at the level of encouragement you receive from your friends and family
3. Take a before and after decluttering photo of your house.
Recognizing change can sometimes be difficult when decluttering takes weeks or months. But that doesn’t mean you haven’t made meaningful changes. With visual goals around minimalism, take a photo of your space you want to change—before you’ve even touched a thing. Then, set out on your mission. By capturing your efforts before and after, you’ll have a consistent reminder about your growth and what you live for.
4. Create a private and/or public place to catalog your journey.
Plenty of my friends use private diaries to reflect on their efforts. When they’re unsure about what they thought or believed, they refer back to it. The same can be true about public spaces like a blog. Writing diary entries or online articles cements your philosophies—much like talking aloud. I started this blog only days after being introduced to minimalism and often credit it for supplying great motivation during our journey toward owning less. A nice bonus, others can check in with you, be inspired, and follow along when you write publicly. For more info on how to start a blog, check here.
5. Invite others to declutter and/or make your own support community.
There’s a classic truism that says the best way to learn anything is to teach someone else. By employing your values and philosophy to inspire others you can further your own learning. Join a minimalist community—they are expansive and worldwide. There are countless meetup groups, message boards, and websites where you can become a member.
The minute you speak, write, and share your desire to become a minimalist, the concept will become more real. And you’ll suddenly be more accountable to your values.
Allow yourself the opportunity for community and support as you embrace a better life with less.
About Joshua Becker
The before and after picture is a powerful idea. I know it works.
I haven’t used it for minimalism before. But I did when I was exercising. I posted the picture up of my before picture to remind myself where I would never go back again to.
Really nice suggestions to utilize the space effectively.
I really enjoyed this. Love the idea of keeping a journal of your journey, accountability to yourself can be just as important as accountability to others. One of my favorite ways to make a change I am working on stick, is to hold myself out as an example to others. By being the example others turn to, I have to make sure I am living it out in my own life. It’s amazing how you can change your life for the better when you stick to these simple principles.
Definitely, love a private diary to account for things then look back when I’m unsure! Works every time!
http://www.flareaforte.com
I have been putting in a lot of hours at work and have been attending some events for my granddaughter…so my house has “slipped” a bit and I feel like it is not as clean or uncluttered as it should be. Amazing how you really have to keep up on it or clutter starts to creep its way back in. I’ve been derailed, but I’m back on track again. I love the idea of taking a before and after photo! Great tip! :)
I’ve used a combination of all the strategies that you suggest at various times and they really work. “Going public” with my minimalist intentions has been essential to my progress. Talking about decluttering with my friends and family means they understand why I put “no gifts please” on kids party invites, or say no to their excess stuff. It inspires them to be creative with experience-based gifts for Christmas and all sorts of other things that make my journey much easier.
I’ve just read your book in an afternoon – I must admit I was a little skeptical at first, mainly due to the religious aspect of your writing. I soon managed to accept your genuine philosophy of generosity of spirit and deed, religion aside. As a naturally uncluttered type myself I was interested in how taking the further steps of procuring less and creating more time/resources could be achieved. I found your writing inspirational and positive and it has helped me crystalise in my mind my plan of action and how to coax along the rest of my family in my pursuit of “more”.
This article arrives in a perfect moment because now that I purged my belongings from the clutter I didn’t really need, I have just started the most difficult part of my journey into minimalism: stop buying. I work in a fashion and home decoration store that really meets my taste and every 3 months we employees receive an official loan from the company to buy new pieces from the store to update our uniforms to the new collections. We benefit also from special discounts all the year around on all the goods.
The struggle is tough.
So far, I managed to buy just what I needed and nothing more but let’s set up some guidelines.
– I promise myself to buy just what I am supposed to as uniform using solely the store loan and not my money.
– I impose a ban on buying anything in the home department.
– Every time one of my colleagues asks me what I think about a purchase I’ll reply: “do you think you really need it?”
Let’s see what happens. ;)
Or just stop buying stuff, period. You should tell the customers, “Do you really think you need this?”
As much as I like a straightforward conduct, I can’t follow your advice point blank. I have to buy new items for my uniform as store policy. Also, as long as I don’t have a new job coming up, I don’t like the idea of being fired :D
This doesn’t mean I’m not willing to put myself on the right path of not buying stuff or doing a job where I don’t have to encourage people to spend. It just takes time :)
I try to buy what I need. If I need one pair of slacks, that’s what I buy. Then I get rid of one pair of slacks. If I need one bottle of shampoo, that’s what I buy. There will always be sales and coupons.
Totally agree about the accountability writing can provide. I feel this way when I write about anxiety, learning to love myself, choosing to do the next right thing and then the next when struggling – certainly I hope my writing offers hope and encouragement to others but it also keeps me accountable and moving forward myself. I’m sure you hear this a lot, Joshua, but I admire you. I’ve been watching and listening for years now and respect how you do seem to live honestly according to the values you write about.
I’ve read this one a couple of times to make sure I remember it well. It’s so true that we live in such a consumerist society that sometimes we don’t even notice we are being pushed to buy stuff we never needed before the advert reached us.
It’s so easy to fall, but also, if we let our principles prevail, it will be easy to stand our ground and not fall for those tricks.
Thank you so much for these lines. Thank you for every line you write which is helping me and so many other people to walk the path of minimalism, the path of focusing on what is really important: family, relationships, helping others, caring for nature…thank you so much for being a true inspiration. Lots of love from Barcelona for you and your family!!
The journaling/journey part seems like a missing piece for a lot of people (and something I’ve struggled with phases of productivity and laziness).
That idea of having a journal and challenging yourself is an amazing motivator. Making agreements with myself – full commitments to the same level that I’d make with someone else – has been a function of journaling for me.
Love this! I have worked hard on teaching my boys (now 9 and 10) marketing ploys and consumerism. We don’t watch TV apart from the rare hotel stay, but all commercials get muted. We talk about the billions of dollars spent on figuring out how to market to people and how we can resist. And then we also have a family rule that we can never buy something that we sampled for the first time. (Think: Costco!)
I have loved the thoughtful conversations our boys have contributed towards mindful consumerism as they’ve grown older … and look forward to the conversations to come as they continue to develop and mature!
How is shopping at Costco minimalist? It seems like conspicuous consumption on steroids.
Costco and other warehouse shopping is bulk purchases of consumable items I know I’m going to use a lot of in a relatively short period of time. I prefer bulk/large purchases for things like toiletries and long-shelf-life grocery items so I can buy A LOT infrequently (every couple of months), instead of going to the store every few days to buy a little at a time. Costco keeps me out of other stores.
Yes, it means that I have to use storage to stock up on all those things, but if you do it mindfully and only get what you know you’ll use, it saves time, effort, and money in the long run. Bulk purchases are not anti-minimalism.
That’s why I no longer read magazines, especially home decorating ones. Even the articles seem to be selling things, showing a list of products I “need”. I swear by the time I have finished the magazine, I have a list of about 10 things that I want to buy RIGHT NOW! Meanwhile, before I opened the magazine, they weren’t on my radar at all and I was quite satisfied with the way that things were. But after seeing pics of designer kitchens etc, suddenly mine looks shabby now. lol
Magazines are the worst! I now avoid at all costs.
I find this very helpful. I am looking into and acting upon getting a tiny house. I want to be more of a minimalist. ..less being more as to things one needs, not one wanting things.
I have to do this alone so being slow plus being disable is a challenge but none the less will get this done.
Yes, I have discussed this with a few friends and they all agree that it’s for me. Beings they are out of state, physical help is not there…I do appreciate the input though.
I will enjoy reading more about this by writer and others feedback.
I do have a FB account but not big on talking about much of anything, or sharing thoughts…mostly read.
Thank you for the time you spend in getting the word out there on said subjects.
No, I’m not very social…just the way I’ve been all my life but I certainly appreciate a good read to help me along in this new and exciting venture. Any positive thoughts/ ideas would be appreciated.
Thanks again,
July
TV commercials are annoying (notice how the volume turns up) and it’s correct, they want you to spend money on unhealthy food and “useless stuffs” like ridiculous slippers, toys, and blankets for kids. This is the reason why I don’t watch much TV.
In May I started a Facebook community/group, and in August I will be filmed for a documentary about where your identity lies if it’s not with the belongings : )
Most TV I watch is either streamed or DVR’d, so I miss a lot of commercials. However, on occasion, a witty or interesting commercial will peak my interest. I find it humorous to watch these commercials with an open mind and ask myself: “What is this commercial trying to “sell” me?” Most of the time, it’s not the actual product, it’s an idea. Wal-Mart will allow me to buy things so I can have an awesome BBQ outside with my family – everything from the food to the patio furniture. Great idea except I don’t have a place to put patio furniture and the mosquitos are in full-swing in SE GA.
All the commercials I’ve seen sell an idea rather than a product. When I watch them with the family, we have open discussions about these commercials. It opens the lines of communication. Yes, my family is a family of consumers. But we’re shifting our mindset to consume with an open mind rather than blindly following whatever companies are trying to sell.
Do you all remember that scene in Wall-E where the fat people are lounging on their chairs, sipping their (I assume) sugar-laden soda, when the Next Big Thing comes on their personal television screens and all they have to do (and do!) is push a button and boom! They are wearing The Next Big Thing. Very, very telling.
It would be a good idea for parents to explain to their kids the difference between “spending” and “saving”!
When an ad says “save” and what they really mean is “spend”, that is twisting the truth. (Creating an alternative fact?)
We must tell them that saving is taking money that we have and putting it aside — not taking that money and buying something with it!!!
Yes!!
We are seniors planning a move to Florida in 2 years. Now is the time for us to get rid of all our un-needed stuff. I think this is a great opportunity for us. We’ll be saving on moving expenses. We also won’t have the problem of our kids having to rummage through a ton of junk they really don’t want.
Good decision Barbara. My husband and I emptied out both sets of parents homes and it changed our outlook on “stuff” forever. We are so much more mindful now of not leaving our children with the job of dispensing with unwanted items.
Always enjoy your posts! Thanks 😊 I get a kick out of the folks who seem to think that minimalism is all-about being some in-the-woods Luddite with no tv, modern conveniences… so I appreciate your rational and “real” approach and attitude that minimalism is a truly individual undertaking and understanding…
Well said. I totally agree!
I have invariably used all of these at one time or another to keep myself on plan. There’s a joke I’ve seen bandied about in financial planning circles I like to be a fly on the wall of: “If your retirement plan involves changing your investments in response to an economic downturn panic, you never had a plan in the first place.” I know it’s not exactly pithy, but I always think back on it when I might want to make a big (or small) random purchase of an item I have no use for. I have an increasingly minimalist life plan for a reason, and seeing an ad shouldn’t change that. It doesn’t always work, but it does way more often than not.
I figured the Honda link in this ‘don’t fall for advertisements’ article was going to be you making money on an ad link that tries to get us to buy a new Honda. But happily I was wrong — it was a link to an article you wrote about being happy just driving an older car rather than always wanting a brand new one. You rock with yiur consistency! 😀
I followed your advice, Joshua and started a blog. Turns out…it’s true. A public face for accountability to *myself* helps keep me pointed toward true north. Encouraging others along the path is just “trail magic”…an unexpected blessing. Thanks for pointing us all toward the good path.
#merciful minimal
You can kind of think of Merciful Minimal as your “grand blog”, she says with a grin. :D
Even though I consider myself a minimalist with the right mindset, I would never be shamed or disappointed about buying something new and you shouldn’t either.
We are all human and strive to be the best we can. We work daily to be in the right frame of mind and take on new ideas . A good example is dieting. We work daily to eat the right foods, exercise and stay on track. Every now and then we pass the ice cream stand and find ourselves pulling in. While we sit there licking the cone we may beat ourselves up. What we need to remember is that for the past 30 days we have stayed on track. We need to get back to it and stay fast as soon as that last bite is gone. With that said, we need to remember that we now daily refrain from buying the tons of junk that end up in land fills .
The journey of where we are going is the important piece. The best words I have heard go something like this ” we need to use things and love people, not the other way around” this I carry with me daily. You have no idea of the ways in which you have helped change my life alone. You should be proud. To rethink the idea of what we own and the effects of consuming have on our world is powerful knowledge.
I started reading your posts just last year and the change has been profound. I unloaded the tons of stuff I didn’t have room for in my house. I downsized everything from my clothes to my kichen ware and closets. The biggest change however didn’t come from the stuff. It was a change in the way I thought about money, work and happiness. My whole idea of success that I had been taught as a child changed. I quit my job in order to take care of myself (something I had to learn to do) . I stopped making money the important thing in life and started really living for the first time ever. I now garden, paint, draw, and have family time. I have never been happier. Thank you from the heart for sharing your message.
Great post. I have found in
my own journey towards
minimalism and weight loss,
that they both require a
similar mindset. Once you
change your attitude about
stuff and food to reflect your
goals, that is where you begin to see results. The trick is to maintain that mindset.
Or, somewhat in a joking way, you can encourage everyone to become a blogger! Everyone of your points can neatly fit with the time, energy and awareness it takes to publish a successful post. We are just an infant in the wonderful world of blogging but already can see the benefits…our brains are in overdrive creating and consuming less is a welcomed by product!-Laurel
Why do you still have a television in your home? We are minimalistic. We have a smallish tv and a ROKU box that gets us everything with no commercials. We watch PBS, weather underground, Netflix etc etc. We read books, listen to music and talk to each other. We take our dog for her daily romp on the beach.
When our grandchildren are here we swim, eat, play games. It took them a bit to understand that we don’t have a tv but they still love to come here. They can use their IPhones when we read, not when we eat. And they do not get to sleep with them either. And these gkids are 13-16 with active lives. And they get to bring their friends with them as well.
Also think about AdBlock Plus on the computer. Since I added it, I have missed 3.107 Million (yes, million) ads when cruising the net. If you don’t see it, you are less likely to be entranced by the possibility of buying something unneeded.
Great idea! I’ve also made a policy of never looking at ads (newspaper, magazine, web, etc) unless I need something. It it’s on sale, fine. But I never ‘shop’ as such. When I go into a store and ask if I need help, I might ask where the item I want is, and then buy it. Period. No ‘shopping’ allowed.
And unsubscribe from newsletters – that’s always my downfall and I’m off to do so right now.
When my husband of 45 years and I travel we each take a carry on bag and a tote bag for pills and other necessities. When we go away for 10 days or so, we do some laundry. Friends of ours have mentioned taking 4 suitcases for a week or 10 days. We don’t take anything we can’t carry ourselves, so we can take escalators and public transportation.