This is a guest post from Cait Flanders.
“In the context of sufficiency, appreciation becomes a powerful, intentional practice of creating new value through our deliberate attention to the value of what we already have.” –Lynne Twist
I’ve spent the last four years writing about money and the role it has played in my life. I’ve written about how I got into debt, the day I realized I was maxed out, and how I dug myself out of the mess. It took two years of living on a tight budget, but I made my final debt repayment in May 2013 and I haven’t owed anyone a penny since.
Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean I had my spending under control. For the first year that followed, I spent money buying and doing all the things I couldn’t buy or do while paying down debt. I’d put myself on such a tight budget for those two years that I was convinced I’d been “living without” something during that time—so I spent a year searching for it.
I wasn’t living an extravagant lifestyle, per se. I was simply consuming more than I needed. There were stacks of books on my shelves I’d never read, outfits in my closet I’d only worn once, bottles of unused nail polish, and what looked to be a 5-year supply of pens and paper.
Shortly after my first anniversary of being debt-free, I looked at the small balance in my savings account and wondered what I’d been doing wrong. I was budgeting and blogging about money, why didn’t I have more to show for it? When I looked around my apartment, I realized it was a result of lifestyle inflation… and I wasn’t happy with the state of mine.
The stacks of books on my shelves were a constant reminder I had no time to read. The long forgotten clothes in my closet made me feel guilty for not getting a good enough cost-per-wear out of them. I even hated most of the nail polish colors, but felt like they were what grown-up Cait should wear.
I’d wasted hundreds, even thousands of dollars on stuff… and I didn’t even like most of it.
In a wave of inspiration, I started opening every closet, cupboard, and drawer in my apartment on a mission to get rid of anything I didn’t use or truly cherish. I filled bag after bag, and box after box, until almost every inch of my dining room floor was covered. After dragging it all downstairs, I filled my car with stuff, and still had to make two additional trips to the donation centre.
In the end, I removed 60% of the belongings from my home. And then, I put myself on a yearlong shopping ban so I wouldn’t bring in anything new.
I am only eight months into the shopping ban, but I can already tell you I will never go back to the type of consumer I was before—and that’s before considering all the extra money I’ve been able to save, which is just an added bonus.
I will never go back to being the type of consumer I was before, because living with fewer possessions has finally allowed me to see how full and rich my life already was—and still is today.
I wake up each morning and fill my French press with delicious coffee in the quiet moments before a new day begins. I have a job that lets me work from home at a desk with the most incredible view of the mountains. I get paid to write, which I still pinch myself over. I live minutes from the ocean with the smell of salt in the air. And I have the most loving and supportive family and friends a person could ask for, and most everyone is in good health.
How could I have ever thought I was “living without” anything?
I am still new to this minimalist scene and my shopping ban, so I am continually discovering new and wonderful things about how it’s changing my life. However, as someone who’s been writing about money for four years, there’s one thing I can tell you with certainty.
When you focus on what’s lacking in your life, you’ll do or buy anything to fill that void.
This might include:
- Buying yourself something after you’ve had a bad day.
- Upgrading to the newest piece of technology just because it’s popular.
- Buying a new car or home because you think it proves you’ve reached a certain level of success.
- Filling your home with beautiful things to impress your guests even though you can’t afford any of it.
But when you choose to appreciate what is good in your life, you will use money in ways that help sustain it.
You begin:
- Feeling better about paying your rent/mortgage, knowing it’s putting a roof over your head.
- Being more grateful for the heat/hot water/electricity you used, when the bill comes.
- Doing whatever it takes to make sure you can afford your hobbies and passions.
- Saving for your hopes and dreams, both big and small.
Everything in the first list are assets that will immediately depreciate—and not just in dollar value, but also in the value you’ve placed on them. The newest piece of technology gets old the minute something newer comes out. As soon as that happens, you’re back to feeling like you’re “living without” something, versus appreciating it for what it is—a tool that helps you communicate with family and friends.
Everything on the second list, however, will appreciate in value—maybe not in dollar value, but in your continued appreciation for it. When you appreciate that you live in a comfortable home with hot showers, you start to soak up every minute under the water. And when you find the true joy that comes from pursuing hobbies and passions, you’ll wish you’d never wasted a dollar on the “stuff” you thought could bring you that same feeling.
When you spend money on things you appreciate, it will always pay dividends in the form of gratitude.
As a former debt blogger, I wish I’d learned that lesson sooner. However, as part of my journey to become minimalist, I’ve come to realize how valuable my experiences really were. I wouldn’t appreciate my life today, in the same light, if I hadn’t made mistakes and learned from them.
If writing about it helps inspire even one person to shift their focus and find new ways to appreciate what they already have, then the experiences will continue to pay dividends—and for that, I am grateful.
***
Cait is a full-time writer and editor in Vancouver, BC, Canada. She writes about simplifying finances and living a more intentional life on her blog.
Beth says
Great post! You helped me identify another area I can correct!
Cait Flanders says
Glad to hear it, Beth. :)
April @ Oxford Mins says
I am still constantly amazed by how, again and again, physical minimalism (decluttering and “living without”) seems to lead so naturally to psychological minimalism (greater intentionality, increased satisfaction with life, generosity, etc). It’s truly inspiring to read stories like these – thanks for sharing.
Cait Flanders says
Oh, I’m now a very firm believer that the state of your home (as well as the state of your finances) is a clear visual for the state of what’s going on in your mind/body. Thank YOU for reading, April. :)
Michelle says
Cait, as always, truly inspiring. I believe the biggest challenge for most is that we let our egos rule us, which makes us focus on lack and results in worrying about what success really is. Once you notice the little tricks your ego plays, you’re much more aware of its triggers and why it wants to accumulate stuff. Taking a step back from your ego’s desires usually results in clear focus on what you really want.
Cait Flanders says
You’re so right, Michelle. It can be difficult to check your ego at the door; that’s where so much resistance to change comes from. But once you can take it off, it’s crazy how clear our paths and decisions really are.
Daisy @ Simplicity Relished says
Cait, this was beautiful! I definitely think that there are tons of lies we tell ourselves to justify unnecessary spending.. and then it’s just as easy to complain about spending on necessary things such as rent and food. This was an excellent piece on minimalism– I really appreciate it!
Cait Flanders says
Thank you so much, Daisy!
Annie says
Great post! I was finally debt free a year and a half ago, what a wonderful feeling! I also struggled with the indulgent spending after being on a tight budget for a while. I had to teach myself to wait at least two days to purchase to be sure I really needed the item and to think of what I already had at home that would suffice. I do still treat myself occasionally, but only if I can pay from the cash I budget for from each pay check. It’s not much, but a small latte or piece of really good chocolate is worth it. I have also learned it is important to savor that treat by slowing down and focusing on the moment so that I realize how lucky I am to be able to afford such things now. Instead of feeling deprived I feel inspired that my budgeting and patience has brought me to this point.
…now to check out your blog…
Cait Flanders says
Small lattes and good chocolate… yes, you must pop over to my blog, Annie. We’ll have much to discuss. :)
Krista says
I agree- those small pleasures are part of a joyful life for me and keep me feeling nourished and satisfied:)
Sioux says
What I find interesting is that many of us older folk have learned this the hard way, and wish we could time travel back to our younger selves and share this message. Ironically, we don’t apply the minimalist message to our grandchildren, whom we (sometimes) overwhelm with gifts and gadgets that they have fleeting interest in. What they truly want us our attention and time. Seems we still haven’t learned.
Cait Flanders says
It’s interesting you bring that up. I’m single and have no kids, so have no real reason to think about this yet, but sometimes I wonder how I’ll transfer this to them (if I have any) one day. You’re right about time and attention. When I spend time with my 5-year-old niece, she just wants to play cards, read books and go to the park. “Auntie! Auntie!” is yelled out when she wants me to pay attention. She doesn’t care about what I get her for her birthday, or whether or not I treat her to something. She just wants me to look at her and acknowledge whatever she’s doing. A good reminder for us all, Sioux. :)
J. Money says
Love Love Love!
Which is no surprise since I’ve been a fan of yours for years now :) A perfect match with this site – totally makes my morning.
Cait Flanders says
Aww shucks, friend. Appreciate your kind words and support! <3
Trou says
Great post! I am thinking of a 2-month shopping ban first and then go on from there. :)
Cait Flanders says
I think that’s a great start, Trou! Even 30 days will teach you a little something. But the longer you go, the more you’ll learn and come to appreciate all that you have. Pay attention to all your triggers, and I guarantee you’ll be able to make some changes to your spending habits!
Amanda says
I can really identify with this. I was telling my dad the other day that even though I am debt free, I haven’t been making the smartest spending decisions. Sticking to a budget does not promote wise spending if your budget, itself, is not wise.
At the beginning of the year, I actually made a budget for some improvements/items I wanted to get for the house, and the cost of everything was a little overwhelming. Given my history, I decided it would be a good idea to space purchases out and wait to see what was really necessary. It’s been two months, and I continue to be amused at how many things I’ve crossed off my “must have” list. It turns out I only need to get a few things to make the house more functional and a little more aesthetically pleasing , but the appreciation I’ve gained for what I have has grown a great deal.
Cait Flanders says
“Sticking to a budget does not promote wise spending if your budget, itself, is not wise.” I just might have to quote you someday, Amanda! That explains it perfectly. And it sounds like you know exactly what I was talking about in this post. Now I’m curious what some of the original “must have”s were, and why you crossed each one off, specifically. :)
Lori in Prescott says
I was surprised that you simply donated everything, instead of selling it, since you are tackling debt recovery. For some people the recouping of cash wasted is a motivator. Ebay, craigslist, or a garage sale are definitely more work and may not get it out of the house fast enough. I have seen myself justify buying cheap from a thrift shop until I realized that it was still filling up my house. It’s the denial we can feel when hit over the head with consumerism. Thrift shopping is still consumerism! I also find it is painful for me to be around people who are blatantly wasteful and foolish about money. These seem to be toxic relationships for me at the moment. Something I need to distance myself from. That is why all the minimalist websites are so important. To find other people to emulate or share with that are on the same path. Very nice post. So honest!
Cait Flanders says
That’s a great point, Lori. I was actually already debt-free (and had been for over a year) when I decluttered/purged all my belongings. I sold a few items (camera, juicer, etc.) but donated the rest (clothes, DVDs, books, etc.) because I knew it would probably take months and months to sell, which would become a source of mental clutter all on its own. I felt better knowing it was going to local charities and my local library. But yes, others could certainly consider selling more of their items, than I did!
I also understand your point of feeling some concern when you see people you know waste their money. Personally, I try to combat this by just continuing to lead by example, and hoping it rubs off on a few people. Best of luck to you. <3
Amelia says
I too have had problems with buying all sorts of things from thrift shops. Currently on a self-imposed buying ban to try to kick the habit. It is hard!