“Work to the point your idols become your peers.” —Unknown
Today, I turned 40. It feels weird—especially because it seems like only yesterday I was in my 30’s.
Every so often, it seems, life presents us with opportunities to look back and reflect: the birth of a new year, the death of a loved one, or a milestone birthday.
And on this day, I cannot help but look back and consider the men and women who have helped shape me into the person I am today.
Some of my mentors chose me. But not in every case:
When I was 25 years old, I was offered jobs at two uniquely different organizations. I remember them well. While the general job description was similar between the two, the work environments were entirely different.
My first job offer was in Princeton, NJ. The organization was large—millions of dollars of income each year. Their reputation was impeccable and the dollars were not in short supply. I was offered a healthy salary, once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, floor tickets to the New York Knicks, even admission into Princeton University for graduate work. Our final interview occurred at one of the finest steak houses in the area. The professionally polished leader of the organization sat across from me—and offered his best sales pitch.
Days later, I was offered a job in Menomonie, WI. The town was populated by 20,000 hard-working men and women, a unique blend of farmers and professors. The organization was small—5 employees at the time. Based on typical measures of worldly success, they offered me very little. In fact, our final interview took place around the modest kitchen table of the organization’s leader. To this day, I have looked into the eyes of very few men with more humility, more love, or more commitment to others than this man. The food was pleasant and the conversation rich.
I was only 25 years old. Just starting out. And the decision could not have been more difficult.
The final decision was made 3 days later. My wife and I had numerous conversations with trusted advisors and mentors—some formal, some informal. And then, on a Tuesday night, we went out for dinner to determine our future.
All the details I do not recall, but I do remember one significant factor that ultimately determined our fate more than any other:
I asked myself repeatedly and intentionally, “What type of man do I desire to become? Who would I rather look like when I am 40?”
What would cause a 25-year old man and his young 21-year old wife to choose humility and service over money, prestige, and reputation? I’ll never know. But we did. And we have never regretted the decision.
It is interesting to me as I sit this morning to reflect on my life, that this single decision would resonate as one of the most significant. I can think of little else.
I have a loving family for which I am eternally grateful. I have a wife who selflessly loves others and remains steadfast in her faithfulness and patience for me. My life story features the names and stories of countless mentors who have invested themselves into me and saw far more potential than I ever did.
There are so many things I could dwell on today, but I choose instead to think of one decision above all others.
Maybe because, it was in that moment, I chose the type of man I wanted to become. And I decided to choose humility over the fleeting pleasure of worldly prestige.
Perhaps more than anything else, it is the men and women we choose to set-up as role models and idols that determine the course of our lives. (tweet that)
If we envy those with money and vast personal possessions, these are the people we will emulate.
If we look up to those who live their life in the pursuit of pleasure, pleasure will become our prize.
If we envy those who model selfish abandon for power and prestige, this too, will become our greatest pursuit.
But we get to decide. And if we want, we can always choose humility and selfless concern for others—even in a world that doesn’t. And then, we can surround ourselves with men and women who model it for us.
This, then, can become true of us. Our idols can become our peers.
Christine says
Happy Birthday :-)
Heather says
Happy Birthday Joshua! I turned 40 this year as well and marked it by trying something new…surfing, well, more like laughing and falling in the waves, but hey I was in a wet suit and carried a surf board! 40 feels divine! I wish you continued simplicity, the expansion of love and the adventure of not quite knowing exactly what tomorrow will bring. With love and appreciation for all that you do, Heather
Joan McKniff says
Happy Birthday youngster,
Age 73 now. As a senior at university, 1963, I joined the Peace Corps. Never regretted the decision. In fact can’t imagine where my life would have gone without that opportunity and decision.
Tracey Martin says
Beautiful post Joshua, thank you.
Jamie says
Happy birthday, Joshua! Welcome to the 40 club! (I turned 40 in October.) 40 has been great, but I really thought I would feel more grown up by now.
Thank you for your words! Your posts and books have such a positive impact on me!
Rudy says
Thanks Josh for your site and happy birthday. I read this quote some time ago but I believe it fits you perfectly. [ A pound of ink makes millions think] God Bless-Maranatha
Vishnu says
Hi Joshua, thanks so much for sharing your story. I’ve taken those higher-paying jobs and careers but never allowed them to hold me prisoner. I was able to walk away from a career that offered lots of opportunities and advancement. I passed on the salary and opted for my soul! Hope you had a great birthday.
HappinessSavouredHot says
Joshua, I just wrote a blog post inspired by yours (with a link back). Bloggers inspiring bloggers! :-)
Phil Pogson says
Welcome to your 40’s Joshua – quite simply….you’re going to love it. You will find yourself listening more, speaking less and feeling more grateful.
Suzanne says
Happy Birthday! Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful post. You were wise for 25 – no wonder corporate America had so much to offer you.