On June 12th, 1999, I married my wife Kim. I stood in front of friends and family, witnesses and God, and declared that I would love her and be faithful to her, for better or worse, until death do us part.
It was a decision and commitment made at a specific moment in time. Early in the afternoon on Saturday, June 12th.
It was a one-time decision. But that was not the end. It is also a decision that has to be re-chosen every single day.
You see, every morning when I wake up, I am offered a choice: Will I be faithful to my wife today? And every day, I must choose faithfulness.
My marriage vows were a one-time declaration but an everyday decision.
This is true about many of the most important decisions we make for our lives.
We choose our life every day.
We don’t necessarily choose our circumstances every day, but we do choose the person we are going to be.
My faith is important to me. I made a commitment to God and others many years ago… but each day I must choose to follow Him.
My family is important to me. I love my kids and I want to be both available for them and intentional in parenting… but every day I must choose to put their interests ahead of mine.
My health is important to me. Countless times I have committed to regular exercise and a healthy diet… but you know as well as I do, this is an intentional decision we must make every day.
I chose minimalism as a lifestyle almost 11 years ago… but every day, I must choose to reject the empty promises of consumerism because the temptation surrounds me constantly.
I desire to live a life of impact and significance… this requires me to make intentional decisions about time and opportunity almost every day of my life.
I believe a life lived in the pursuit of wealth is a temptation and a trap… but choosing to live for greater purposes is something I must do each day.
For you, the examples may be different. But the reality is the same:
We choose our life every day.
Annie Dillard said it this way, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
Some may see this as a burden. Their thinking might go like this, “Oh man, I have to choose a healthy diet again today.”
But seeing our daily choice as a burden is faulty thinking.
Because I get to choose my life every day, it means each day is filled with opportunity. It also means, with each new sunrise, I am provided opportunity to change or redirect course.
When I recognize choosing faithfulness, health, significance, impact, and intentionality is the best thing I can do for my life going forward, it means each day I am presented opportunity to choose the greater good.
Every morning, we get to choose the direction and the habits that lead us to live our best life possible. What a privilege!
What an honor!
What an opportunity!
May we choose the best for ourselves (and others) every single day.
James says
Well said!
Christine Summerfield says
Thank you for opening up with the analogy of marriage in regards to commitment. That is a useful and practical image that I can relate to in regards to making a choice each day when I wake up. After 31 years of marriage, I am more deeply committed than ever to my husband and my best friend on life’s journey.
And thank you for sharing about the choice between viewing something as a burden OR as a privilege, an honor and an opportunity. I too see “choice” as having two sides to the same coin: freedom and responsibility. We get to choose and one can see this choice as an honor to participate in the care of every day life as a co participant in the story of humanity.
When I used to work with young children in the kindergarten, I found I had more positive results when I worded requests to help out with a spirit of positivity, collaboration and care. For example,
instead of saying “you have to set the table” or “you have to put the toys away”, I would say “now, we get to set the table for snack” or “now, we get to put our toys away so they can have a rest, just like we rest at night too!” I would also model care of our things,
(by having a manageable amount of toys on the shelf) and caring for them, by placing them away with intention and repairing broken ones with them.
I strive to apply this philosophy to my every day life as an adult. Instead of thinking “I have to clean the bathroom or wash the dishes” I say “I get to take care of my home.” I love my home. And by having a manageable amount of things, it does not feel like a burden, but a joy and an honor and a privilege.
Of course, there are moments where I too forget, and get lazy or tired and then I try to remember those kindergarten moments where we would sing as we worked putting away the toys or setting the table…then standing back to admire the beauty and satisfaction of our work.
Thank you Joshua for the reminder of the spirit of joy in commitment.
with gratitude,
Christine Summerfield
Boulder, CO
Karen A Hanzel says
I enjoyed reading your thoughts on the perspective on how to look at our actions.
Karen
South Dakota
Christine Summerfield says
Thank you for opening up with the analogy of marriage in regards to commitment. That is a useful and practical image that I can relate to in regards to making a choice each day when I wake up. After 31 years of marriage, I am more deeply committed than ever to my husband and my best friend on life’s journey.
And thank you for sharing about the choice between viewing something as a burden or as a privilege, an honor and an opportunity. I too see “choice” as having two sides to the same coin: freedom and responsibility. We get to choose and one can see this choice as an honor to participate as a co human being on this beautiful earth.
When I used to work with young children in the kindergarten, I found I had more positive results when I worded requests to help out with a spirit of positivity, collaboration and care. For example,
instead of saying “you have to set the table” or “you have to put the toys away”, I would say “now, we get to set the table for snack” or “now, we get to put our toys away so they can have a rest, just like we rest at night too!” I would also demonstrate care of our things,
(by having a manageable amount of toys on the shelf) and caring for them, by placing them away with intention and repairing broken ones with them.
I strive to apply this philosophy to my every day life as an adult. Instead of thinking “I have to clean the bathroom or wash the dishes” I say “I get to take care of my home. I love my home. And by having a manageable amount of things, it does not feel like a burden, but a joy and an honor and a privilege.
Of course, there are moments where I too forget, and get lazy or tired and try to remember those kindergarten moments where we would sing as we worked putting away the toys or setting the table…then standing back to admire the beauty and satisfaction of our work.
Thank you Joshua for the reminder of the spirit of joy in commitment.
with gratitude,
Christine Summerfield
Boulder, CO
TD says
Christine, Thank you for that. I will use those words with my children! I always tell them they need to contribute to the household. Now I will say, you get to contribute! :)
Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com says
I believe this to the core of my being. Of course I say it by saying, “I get to make it up!” Like you, I’m not talking about controlling everything, I’m talking about the awareness that no matter what happens I get to “make up” how I will respond in any given situation. My responses and my choices determine the course of my life. And yeah, I do my best to write about it as often as I can because I don’t think we can hear to many reminders. Thank you for this. ~Kathy
Ella says
Joshua, this essay is profound. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. You have truly found the way to make an impact in the world. Please continue doing this work, for ever and ever.
Mary Huff says
Well said, something that is better learned early in our lives but seldom is! Beautifully stated!
Donna says
Beautiful reminder, thank you.
Lauretta says
You are so eloquent. This really resonates with me and I plan to share with loved ones and print as a daily reminder for myself!
Thank you for more words of wisdom!
Pat Heidenthal says
This is great advice that I wish young and old alike would follow. In October my wife and I will be married 50 years. We enjoy every day because we have lived conservatively not miserly. We can be generous with our kids and grandkids and our church and others because we chose a path that led to minimalism plus… generosity plus faith.
Karen A Hanzel says
Pat–I would love to learn more from you and your wisdom. Do you have an online site of any kind?
Greetings from South Dakota
Karen
Anastasia says
Thank you for this gentle reminder, Joshua! Being mindful to have gratitude for the choices we make to better our lives is helpful in our staying committed to them, as well, rather than viewing them as a necessary burden. Happy 20th anniversary! <3