Inflation. Supply chain issues. Delayed mail.
If there was ever a year to start giving experiences for Christmas rather than physical possessions, this is the year.
A few years ago, my friend and his family of six started a new holiday tradition.
“Rather than spending money on a bunch of stuff we don’t need, we started a new Christmas tradition. Every day of the week after Christmas until New Year’s, we did something fun as a family.
Sometimes it was simple: pizza and a movie. Other days, it was more extravagant: horse-back riding. But we took the money that would have been spent on physical gifts and spread it out over the week making sure everyone got to do something they’d really love.”
After the holiday season I asked him how it went.
He replied with a smile on his face, “Best decision we ever made. A new family tradition has been born. We’re already looking forward to next year.”
When we found minimalism twelve years ago, we also decided to change how we celebrated the holiday season limiting our children’s gifts to three: one thing they need, one thing they want, and one experience to share with the family.
To celebrate holidays differently, you need to make the decision to do so.
And if there was ever a year to try out a change, this is the one.
– News reports are already surfacing that this holiday season may be filled with increased challenges and frustrations.
– Inflation is reaching levels we haven’t seen in decades.
– Millions of people have just lost pandemic-era unemployment benefits.
– Meanwhile, COVID cases continue to increase in many places around the world.
An important phenomenon took place in 2020. People began spending more on goods and less on services. As a percentage of personal spending, nonconsumable goods increased 6% in 2020 while services fell by 7% with some sectors falling 20-30% (recreation, travel, food).
All that to say, in 2020, most Americans spent the year purchasing more and more physical possessions and fewer and fewer services.
If our homes weren’t full enough in 2019, they are even fuller in 2021.
If there was ever a year to start giving experiences for Christmas rather than physical possessions, this is the year.
Most of your family and friends desire that anyway.
Every year, I post a list of 52 clutterfree gift ideas on Facebook. This year I decided to post it a bit earlier than normal. As of today, not even halfway into November, the list has been viewed and shared by over 12 million people!
Anecdotal evidence I know, but when a clutterfree gift list is more than twice as popular this year than any previous year, something unique is happening.
Try it out. You’ll be surprised how much more you enjoy the holiday season.
In your own family, set expectations early (now). Get buy-in from your spouse, tell your kids that you are trying something new this year, and then set healthy expectations. Focusing more on experiences than physical gifts, doesn’t mean you have to cut out all physical gifts—just shift some of your focus. As I mentioned earlier, my kids still receive one thing they need (usually a clothing item) and one thing they want.
For your extended family, bring up the conversation now. Get on the phone with your parents or siblings and see if they think trying something new would be fun this year. In many cases, people will be relieved that they don’t have to shop for yet another Christmas gift. Formulate a plan and try it out.
Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever talked to someone who moved towards an experience-based holiday season and regretted the decision.
Experiences last longer than physical possessions. And we’re all hungry for greater connection with each other after 18 months of sacrificing it.
Maybe you’ll hate it and change back next year, but I doubt it.
Either way, if there was ever a year to start giving experiences for Christmas rather than physical possessions, this is the year.
Bonnie says
I have started to make a list and set a routine. It works pretty well. I add one new thing a day. It is on my planner. I guess that’s why it costs that much money. It will be a gift for this holiday. I will add Joshua list, or at least some few. Good ideas for saving. xoxo
Neeraj says
Great article! One suggestion we have found as a family that helps as a family is to make a donation to a worthwhile cause / registered charity instead of buying stuff. We don’t, “need” anything so we may as well help those who do. Thankful! :)
KJW says
How do I get my in-laws on board with this?! I try and try every year to get them to give us (family of 6) experience gifts. And they literally never do. They “like for us to have something to open.” And I’m over here thinking put a note in a box then lol. If I tell them we want nothing, we get random stuff (clothes and toys we don’t need, gadgets for the kids that break before new year’s, etc). If I tell my MIL specific things like experiences, she tells me she wants to leave those gifts up to me to get. I tried to get my parents to go on a family trip when I was in high school, and they refused. What is it with boomers and wanting so much crap lying around?!
Globug says
This boomer doesn’t like a lot of crap and welcome experience gifts. I get them from my family members and i give them to my family members.
Paul says
No need to be offensive towards boomers! I was born in the early 1950’s so I ‘m a boomer. But I’m pretty minimalist. I feel quite offended by your accusation that I collect what you describe as that vulgar term “crap”. Happy to accept your apology if you want to make one.
Carol Black says
Glad you said “…so much crap LYING around” because SO MANY say LAYING!
Sandra says
How about just saying thank you for the gifts.
Lesley McNeill says
Joshua, I like this idea, and my adult children are on board with it. My siblings don’t exchange gifts with me. It is a sign of the state of our relationship and their relationship with Christmas. It is what it is.
On my husbands side, well, my husband calls has sister-in-law Santa’s PR agent. Gifts abound to everyone in the family. Small, useful gifts, but one for everyone. This part of the family live interstate and it is not possible to travel at the moment. No chance of sharing an experience with them.
I cut down on sending gifts to the children once they reached 21, something small didn’t seem relevant. Now I’m a little bit sorry because I’ve cut some of the ties that bind. Thinking of two gifts per year per niece would make me think of them more than I do. Financially we are blessed to be able to send a small gift to each of 5 nieces and one nephew. I rather wish I had made more effort. I don’t see this as buying their love or a place in their hearts, but as a way of connecting over distance.
Deborah Reed says
Karen, maybe it worked for you, but it didn’t for me.
Mr Becker, for those who’ve left Facebook – or in my case never joined – would you please post the 52 clutter free gift ideas here? Maybe as a PDF?
Thank you. Deborah (a long time reader who seldom comments.)
joshua becker says
You can call me Joshua. :)
Here’s a longer list of 99: https://www.becomingminimalist.com/clutter-free-gift-ideas/
Diane says
Thank you, I was going to ask the same thing!
Kristi says
I also don’t have Facebook and would love to see that list. Can you post it here?
Thank you
Caroline McKinnon says
Gift idea: coupons for acts of service eg: shoulder/foot rub, provide a picnic plus the ride, make a date to dance in the living room to music of choice, cook someone’s favorite dish, walk the dog, clean out someone’s car, work in someone’s garden/yard, pick up items, grocery store runs. etc.
Toni says
Caroline, great list! I already made my list and picnic with my husband is on it! Also, asking for a weekend for our family to the mountains and stay at an AirBNB. And teeth whitening. ?
Judy says
So true, Joshua… nobody wants a bunch of junk for Christmas, nor do I want to waste my money on cr@p! I have always felt this way and it’s nice that more and more people are onboard with this. Something good comes out of bad circumstances. High prices for everything and low inventory on goods forces “the average Joe” to be frugal. We minimalists already live this way. Hope it sticks for the others!
Rene says
Can you send me a PDF of this list? I’d like to send out to the family.
Thanks
Brielle Burt says
I don’t have Facebook so how can I get the list of 52 clutterfree gift ideas?
Karen says
You don’t need face book. Just click on the link. It came up for me !
joshua becker says
Here’s a similar list of 99: https://www.becomingminimalist.com/clutter-free-gift-ideas/