Note: This is a guest post from Rachel Jones.
Whenever we decide to embrace a major change in life, we are forced to evaluate our thoughts and beliefs. Major changes—whether chosen or unchosen—compel us to pay attention to what is happening in our mind.
We look deep to determine truth from myth.
And let’s face it: all of us have lies that we tell ourselves—even without noticing. Most of these mistruths are unintentionally believed (rarely do we purposefully believe a lie). But regardless, these lies impact the way we live, the decisions we make, how we communicate with others, and yes, even the state of our home.
Six years ago, my family discovered the joy of owning less when we decided to remove 2008 items in 2008. We enjoyed it so much, we also removed 2009 items in 2009, 2010 items in 2010, and have continued every year including this one (with 8 people in the house, stuff seems to seep in through the cracks!).
This change in our lives, eliminating the unnecessary so we can focus more on what really matters, has caused me to evaluate my own thoughts and beliefs. As I did, I began to recognize some of the specific lies that were keeping my home and life cluttered.
Surely, we each have our own versions, but I have found six that are particularly common. See if any of these are keeping you from experiencing greater simplicity in your life.
Lie #1: If I limit my wardrobe, my clothes will be boring.
Truth: Having a smaller amount of clothes allows us to invest in quality items that fit well and coordinate, so no matter what you pull out to wear, you look great. Your clothes do not have to be boring.
A capsule wardrobe can include any items you want! It doesn’t have to be neutral.
People will notice how great and “put together” you look all the time. You can spice up outfits with different accessories to add variety and include your own special touch. If you like hats, a few different hats can be your statement pieces. The same can go for belts, scarves, heels, or even boots.
Lie #2: If I leave the work for later, I will be more motivated to finish it.
Truth: Whenever we procrastinate little projects around our home, a running to-do list begins forming in the back of our mind. And this makes it difficult to truly enjoy other things. As a result, not only is the work not finished, it has also become an annoyance to us.
To alleviate this stress, get into the habit of putting something away when you are done using it. Most small jobs take less than 5 minutes. Finish them right away and then revel in your accomplishment. Put the baking supplies away when you are done. Do the dishes after you eat. Fold and put away the current load of laundry when the dryer is done. Sort the mail as soon as you bring it in the house. Or reset the living room before you even leave. Your home will stay uncluttered—and so will your mind.
If you accomplish little things throughout the day, you won’t need to set aside time to clean. You’re creating a habit of tidiness rather than using all your energy catching up on what you’ve been putting off.
Lie #3: If I get rid of something, I’ll regret it later.
Truth: Most of the stuff we keep, we don’t actually need. And often times, when we do keep something around “just in case” and get to the point where we do need it, we can’t find it. So we end up borrowing one or purchasing a new one. So why keep it in the first place?
Or perhaps we keep things out of guilt—sentimental items where we feel like we’re betraying the person who gave it to us. We’re not getting rid of the people or the memory, we’re just getting rid of an item. If the item is sitting in storage, it’s not serving its useful purpose anyway. Allow yourself to find freedom by releasing it. Or allow the item to serve a purpose by giving it a new home.
Lie #4: If I throw out papers, I will toss something important.
Truth: We don’t need nearly as many physical records as we keep. Most likely, if you choose to tackle your pile of papers and sort it all over a trash can, a full 80% of it will be junk mail, receipts that you don’t need, bills that have already been paid, or other documents that are accessible online. The remaining 20% or less can fit in a small filing box.
Exceptions: If you own a business, get legal advice from your accountant on what you need to keep and how to best organize papers and receipts. If you have settled a debt with a company, keep the statement saying that it was paid. If you file for any financial assistance, you may need a couple months worth of bills, bank statements, and pay stubs—though many of those are available to print online.
Lie #5: If it’s going to get done right, I need to do it myself.
Truth: When we fail to delegate, we harm ourselves with overwork and burnout. Even more, we steal the opportunity of growth from others. Requiring perfectionism is often just another form of procrastination. It really doesn’t matter how a job gets done, as long as it gets done.
Perhaps the work will not be done exactly as you would do it, but delegation is important, especially as we teach our children the value of hard work and how to be a contributing member of society. Start with tasks that will bother you the least if they’re done ‘incorrectly’ and then work from there. Many children can break down boxes, take out the trash, and choose 20 items they want to donate from their toys. Your spouse can tackle one room while you do another.
Lie #6: If my closet and drawers are cluttered, I need better organization tools.
Truth: We can’t organize excess. Maybe the solution isn’t that you need a better organization tool, maybe the problem is that you own too much stuff. Courtney Carver says it this way: “If you need to buy more stuff to organize all your stuff, maybe you own too much stuff.”
Purchasing organizational tools is just feeding into the consumer philosophy. To organize excess is to spend even more time sorting and taking care of stuff, when we could just be rid of it once and for all and spend more time doing the things that are truly important to us.
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Rachel Jones helps people clear the clutter, invite calmness into their homes, and enjoy the time they spend together.
Tina says
2 years ago, I decided to downsize from a 2 bedroom house, and found a beautiful 1 bedroom ground floor flat with big established garden. I had 18 days to reduce my stuff of 25 years! (My son now had his own place, but I still had many of his childhood things). I managed to dispose of unneeded things very quickly..good stuff went to charity, paper and old college folder were quickly reduced, much furniture had to go, to friends and family. 2 years on, I still do the rounds (cupboards, drawers, kitchen etc to declutter), as there is nowhere to hide anything, and hardly any storage space.
I don’t miss anything I got rid of, and have freed up so much time and energy for other things.
My partner is a hoarder. He has a massive house, full of stuff. In 3 years he still won’t let me in, or any of his friends. He is constantly ‘working’ on it, refuses any help, and has had big plans for his house for the last 20+ years. His boiler and heating system has broken down, plumbing inadequate, and he frequently suffers with debilitating gout. So has many ‘reasons’ for not getting organised. He has a big tv that doesn’t work, dilapidated sofa, and broken washing machine, which I have suggested, and arranged many times for their collection, to free up some space, but he always has excuses for them not to go. I try not to think of his old age (I am older), as it won’t get any easier for him, and he won’t let me or anyone help. I see his house as a massive ball and chain.
Sorry this ‘comment’ is so long. As you can tell, I can recognize all of the above lies.
Jessica says
Sorry to hear about your partner. It reminds me of a very sad situation with my aunt who is 83 and lives 3 hours away from me. She wouldn’t let me in for 10+years as she was always busy trying to get her roof fixed.
Well, she finally let me and my cousin in a couple of years ago. So much clutter, mostly newspapers, that there were paths through the house wide enough only for one person to get through. And the roof had leaked so badly, beams fallen down, kitchen cabinets sliding off the walls, etc.!
We persuaded her to move to the nearby house of a deceased family member because my aunt’s dog was constantly wet. Then we hired a neighbor she trusted to sort and discard the water damaged things (5 dumpsters later) so we could get the house empty enough to get estimates on repairs.
The house basically needs to be rebuilt from the foundation up and she doesn’t have enough money to do that. Very sad.
My cousin and I both swear we will never live with clutter.
Kelly says
I have an awful time declutering, and am hopelessly famous for the old “but I might need it later” excuse. Personally, I find it tough to throw things away because I don’t have much excess money to replace them if I do end up needing them. Also, they end up stockpiling in a spare room, for me to eventually sell on Ebay or at a yard sale if I need extra cash. The key word here is eventually – because sometimes I’ll keep things for 5+ years before I have time to deal with them. At least I do throw away actual junk – but if it’s something I paid for, I can’t seem to part with it. Am also guilty of organizing all these things into bins and containers. Somehow if something is tucked into a bin, people don’t think you’re a slob. But if things are all just pushed onto shelves, you look like one of those freaks on a Hoarder TV show.
Chrissy says
I have been simplifying our home and life for the last few years, each year more and more. I have believed so many lies in the past. I am realizing that a simple and cluttered free lifestyle truly adds to our family peace and joy.
Kath says
Wow this article has really summed me up and I tell myself a lot of those things. It’s good to know I’m not alone in this and if this article has helped others it can help me. I’ve bought stuff to make me feel happy but in turn with the build up of stuff it just gets you down. I have three bags of clothes which have been sitting waiting to donate and I keep putting it off thinking I’m making a mistake but they hold no sentiment and just make me feel down when I look at them. They will go this week when I can get out of the house as I struggle due to ill health
Sarah K says
Another thing to point out, (if someone hasn’t already!) is to ask yourself how much you’re paying for storage for items you don’t want to buy again. The cost analysis will probably show that you’re paying a LOT more for storage (even if it’s having a bigger house than you would need otherwise) than you would buying everything in the storage unit over again.
Cindy Wilcox says
Thank you for an excellent article to help keep me on track. I regularly donate items to charity and post on freecycle.com but this does take time and room to organize and store the items between pickups. Every time I find myself putting a non-essential item in my basket at the store, I remind myself of the stack of donations I have sitting in my spare room and ask ‘Will this item be in that stack in 6 months?’ I save money by not buying the item and time by not having to store and clean the item until I decide to donate it.
callmelyle says
Procrastination is my sin
It brings me lots of sorrow,
I really have to try and stop,
In fact – I’ll start
Tomorrow !!
Tia says
I don’t necessarily agree with getting rid of sentimental items. I have plates, cups & dishes that belonged to my grandmothers, my wedding bouquet, sugar roses from my cake, ring pillow & bag made for my wedding by my Mum & some other small pieces. They all live in a glass cabinet. I LOVE them & they give me joy. To get rid of them would be heart breaking & a photo of them wouldn’t be the same. These items can never be replaced & will one day be handed down to my daughters. If it’s special & you love it, you should keep it.
Dani says
Are you referring to this part? “perhaps we keep things out of guilt—sentimental items where we feel like we’re betraying the person who gave it to us. We’re not getting rid of the people or the memory, we’re just getting rid of an item. If the item is sitting in storage, it’s not serving its useful purpose anyway.”
I don’t see this as applying in your situation, since you love the items and enjoy holding onto them. You have them displayed in your house and have a plan to pass them on to your daughters. Heirlooms are not the same thing as random unwanted items that people keep, out of guilt, or respect for their loved one, just because the item happens to have some sentimental meaning.
Mat' Joun' says
This is the real way of thinking.
If my parents could understand that …
Cam says
I have been decluttering my house for seven years. I amazed again and how I didn’t need that clunky cabinet. This one was in the kitchen. When I cleaned it out everything fit somewhere else. Insane. Oh yeah, and I only have a one bedroom little house. I guess I am work in progress.